Romance? Err... ok?

[Nebrok]

Ok, I NEED to know... how often does romance take place in D&D campaignes? I suddenly get this romance thing poping up and, well... I don't see why I shouldn't allow the players their romances. However, romances between players is one thing. Now one of the players characters suddenly springs a romance on the npc healer (female expert) that is following the party so to mend their wounds as needed. Of couse this leaves open for a great deal interesting plot twists, but still is a new thing to me.

Advice, ideas, comments?

 

[Crothian]

By romance are you talking about relationships as in dating, or jumping into bed together? I deal with each differently. THe relationships part I let the character set iut up and then just give a response from the NPC I don't role play it out but I do let them endulge and have fun. For the other thing, I just skip to the next day. It happens, they are happy but it is all off screen.

 

[JimAde]

I do it all the time. One of my PCs just got engaged to an NPC that's been traveling with them. No big deal, and lots of RP goodness.

Just keep it rated PG and everybody can be comfortable with it.

EDIT: And Crothian steals my thunder again. Curse your quick fingers!

 

[lukelightning]

The only romance I've had in games is when a fellow PC's cohort was his wife, and then that time my halfling barbarian fell in love with a gigantic demonic spider. That was kind of the result of a charm effect from the spider, but I figured I rolled so badly on the save that he was waaaaaay charmed.

 

[twofalls]

NO, romance isn't about "jumping into bed together", thats sex. Romance is more subtle and involves body language, spoken and unspoken words, thoughtful actions, and consideration. Of course moonlight and roses... but those are so passe anymore.

I think its the mark of a matured storyteller when he/she is able to introduce romance into a story without it becoming a central theme, and without it being reduced to a comedy act and target for barbs from other non-involved party members. It's not an element of Roleplaying that I've mastered but it's my next focus. Romance and love is a huge theme in fantasy, as its perhaps the most important element of being human. D&D has a lot of hate, manipulation, and danger used as central story themes. Rare is it that I find a focus on romance in a game.

Edit: To explain why I said not to make it a central theme... because it focuses too much on one player. If the game group in total is mature enough to handle romance in the game, then it can become a central theme as the other members of the group help their friend woo a beautiful lady, or express interest to a desired suitor. Generally most groups (even of adults) in my experience wouldn't be albe to deal with this without turning it into an exercise in ridicule or sarcasm.

 

[eris404]

Sort of....in one campaign, we had a PC who got married to an NPC but it didn't really come up much in the actual game - travelling around a war-torn country while fighting evil is tough on a marriage.

In our current game, I play a character who has an unrequited crush on an NPC bard. The DM had asked us at the beginning of the campaign to come up with 3 NPCs who were important to our characters and for some reason I decided to make this NPC. I've never really done anything like this before, but it sounded like an interesting and fun background for my character. The DM has been a good sport about it, and actually, we're pretty G-rated. The other players tease me about it, though.

 

[fusangite]

Ok, I NEED to know... how often does romance take place in D&D campaignes?

There is no general rule. In some campaigns, mine for instance, if romance is taking place, the GM has made a mistake because romance and RPG campaigns do not mix. AS has been eloquently expressed by other posters already, playing out romance is a complex, lengthy and involved process. In my opinion, the process sets up emotionally unhealthy dynamics between those individuals playing it out.

As a GM, you have choice: do you want romance in your campaign? Does it make you uncomfortable? If it makes your uncomfortable, take decisive action to remove it. Romance doesn't fit with every gaming style; don't let your players pressure you into something you don't want.

well... I don't see why I shouldn't allow the players their romances.

There are lots of reasons not to. But in order to know what if any of those reasons is here, I would need the following questions answered:
1. Age, sex, orientation of player #1?
2. Age, sex, orientation of player #2? (or DM is this is with an NPC)
3. Real world feelings of player #1 towards player #2.
4. Real world feelings of player #2 towards player #1.
5. Real world feelings of other players about player #1, #2.
6. Game time occupied by the romance per session, activities of other PCs during that time.
7. Skills, if any, used during the interactions.
8. Relationship status of players #1, 2.

Now you have given me some of this information in your post but I hope that you can see what I'm getting at by the way I'm expressing these questions. I strongly advise you against playing out the romance between the PC and the NPC healer; and if you resolve it through a set of rolls, I think you risk objectifying the NPC healer to the point where she isn't a very real-feeling NPC anymore.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

In a D&D campaign I ran for 10 years, my wife's character and the character of another player were involved in a tempestous, firey relationship that made for awesome roleplaying sessions. It was terrific.

During that same time, I played in a DCHeroes campaign where my PC and the character of the wife of the aforementioned player were involved. After 4 years of "dating", we had a huge game day where players both past and present came for a bbq and game, where our characters were wed. By Guy Gardner. Then Morgan LeFay attacked, and..... sigh...I miss that campaign.

 

[sniffles]

As Fusangite points out, there are some issues to take into account, but I don't think romance is a bad thing if everyone is comfortable with including it. It can provide some great roleplaying opportunities.

In a campaign I'm involved in (which is scheduled to come to an end tomorrow night), my fiancee has been running a female PC. His character is involved in a romance with another PC (not mine), played by another male player. They have kept the romantic moments to a minimum, thus enhancing the roleplaying for everyone without taking over the game.

In another game, my character was given an opportunity to have a romance with an NPC. I wasn't entirely comfortable with it, so I had her decline due to her religious duties. But when something awful happened to that NPC that impacted the big finale of the story, it made it more meaningful for my character and for me.

If your game is like my third example, though, then I'd recommend avoiding romantic entanglements. A GM I play with regularly has never had a romance IRL, as far as I know. He tends to view that type of relationship as a ball-and-chain affair. So when he suddenly offered up an NPC romance for one of the players, it was mainly just a mechanism for him to mess with the characters in an annoying way. I'm surprised he doesn't have her tripping over blades of grass or getting kidnapped by bad guys every session. If your players would see the romance the way that GM does, or just look at it from the perspective of advantages it might give them in-game, then I'd suggest you avoid it.

 

[Eeralai]

In two campaigns I have been a part of, side stories for characters have been posted on message boards on line. I think this would be an ideal place for romances. Especially establishing a romance between two characters. I mean that is really awkward in real life; it could be positively painful to watch it role played out