RPG Evolution: The Game Comes Home

Image courtesy of Pixabay.​

For years, my game room sat as a quiet monument to a dream: a dedicated space where I could play Dungeons & Dragons around a physical table. While I’ve spent countless hours there with my children or mixed groups of families, I had yet to host a session exclusively for adults. That changed recently when a player from my weekly D&D library group pitched a late-night session for his friends.

Transitioning from the public, controlled environment of a library to the privacy of my home meant I could finally let the world breathe in ways a community space simply doesn’t allow. And drink a beer while we were at it.

The Unfiltered Freedom of the Home Table​

One of the most immediate benefits of moving the game to my own turf was the total content freedom. In a public library, I work hard to be inclusive as possible, though I do note that the game is for adults.

At home, I could lean into a high-octane, high-consequence scenario—a 2nd-level train robbery where the PCs had to defend -- and then eject -- a steam boiler that was about to explode inside a roaring tunnel. This setting allowed for a level of tension where any character knocked off the train didn't just take damage; they were effectively dead or out of the story.

I had to set firm boundaries early, making it clear that this was an adults-only space, which allowed us to explore a grit and intensity that wouldn't fit a family-friendly venue. Without the noise restrictions or closing times of a public building, we could let the music swell and the tension simmer as long as the story required.

Managing the Host’s Burden​

Hosting at home also introduced the alcohol factor, something that requires a delicate balance. My players embraced this by arriving in an Uber, allowing them to enjoy the evening without safety concerns. As the DM, I found my own limit was much lower.

While a beer or two helps the players to loosen up and dive into character, a DM’s faculties are the engine of the game. After just one drink, I can feel the transition from "comfortable" to "fogged." While I am a host providing dietary freedom and comfort, I am also the referee responsible for the game's momentum. Being the host means my game room provides the books, the minis, and the atmosphere, but there are limits too.

Deep Immersion for the Uninitiated​

The beauty of the home environment truly shined when it came to teaching the game to these three brand-new players. Without the distractions of a busy game store or library, they could focus entirely on the desperate tug-of-war of the action economy. The session became a masterclass in high-stakes combat as they fought bandits to a standstill while simultaneously trying to prevent the steam drill from exploding.

Because we were in a private space, they felt comfortable enough to think outside the box, eventually using the water tank beneath the coal cart to soak the overheating boiler in a brilliant bit of creative problem-solving. This level of focus is hard to cultivate in a "neutral" space; the privacy of home allowed them to celebrate their victory and weep over their near-misses without the self-consciousness that comes with being watched by strangers.

A Successful Evolution?​

As the session wrapped up and the players thanked me, eager for the next chapter, it became clear that the Host role is just as vital as being a Dungeon Master. I enjoy my library games immensely, but it felt good to just let loose and play (and swear! and drink!) at home.

Bringing the game home offers a level of immersion and thematic depth that public spaces can't match, provided the DM is willing to shoulder the logistical responsibilities that come with it. This is the kind of game I grew up with, and I miss it ... but I'm also grateful for all the work my public library does to host our games so I don't have to.

 

[Scott Christian]

One of the most immediate benefits of moving the game to my own turf was the total content freedom. In a public library, I work hard to be inclusive as possible, though I do note that the game is for adults.

This is definitely true. Public spaces, for people who still view them as "public" and not "theirs" need restraint: noise, ambient or battle music, cursing or jokes, and content all play a part of the game. It's one of the reasons why home games are so much more freeing.

Hosting at home also introduced the alcohol factor, something that requires a delicate balance. My players embraced this by arriving in an Uber, allowing them to enjoy the evening without safety concerns. As the DM, I found my own limit was much lower.

Since I host, I have never run out of drinks because the players are constantly bringing stuff over. None of us really imbibe more than a couple, but I have played with groups that drink heavier. And while it never ruined a game, it certainly brought it to a crawl.

I would also like to bring up something in the same realm, but a little different: food. As a host, I feel like it is my duty to feed the players. We play on a Friday at dinner time, 6PM. I feel other hosts should feed their group too. Of course, if you're young and don't have the funds, then you don't need to have an entire dinner. But it still wouldn't hurt to put out some chips.

I don't know, maybe I am in the minority for this. But if everyone else is doing the traveling, food is the least you could do.

The beauty of the home environment truly shined when it came to teaching the game to these three brand-new players. Without the distractions of a busy game store or library, they could focus entirely on the desperate tug-of-war of the action economy.

Amen. This benefit cannot be touted enough. It's like having a dedicated quiet/empty space in a classroom where you can review a concept with a struggling student.

As the session wrapped up and the players thanked me, eager for the next chapter, it became clear that the Host role is just as vital as being a Dungeon Master.

I 100% agree with this. I have had fun playing in game shops, cons, bars, etc., but playing at home far surpasses those experiences, especially for an ongoing campaign. (I also think it adds a little more structure to the campaign.)

 

[Koloth]

Long time host, sometimes GM here. Having a dedicated private game room is really nice. Especially the part about a table that is more suited to gaming vs a generic dining room table, conference table or worse, those folding tables with legs always in the way. And control over the lighting. A lot of public areas including FLGS tables, either have high glare bright space lighting or fixtures that started needing repair last century. A bookshelf or four to hold the books, maps, minis and terrain keeps the frantic searching for that needed thing to a minimum. Nice to have a whiteboard or similar where important session info can reside and stay if needed between sessions.

As host, you don't have to transport anything, its already here. You do have to clean off all the crap that seems attracted to the large horizontal storage space that a gaming table represents. Plus the area(s) where the food and drinks will sit.

Food - We usually decide prior to the game what the food plans are. BYOF. Pizzas, delivered or carryout. Host made stew, chili or similar. Soft drinks are the same although if someone has peculiar taste, they bring their own. You do have to decide whether to use throwaway plates and utensils or the washable versions.

Alcohol - If we do this, we have a last call a couple hours before session end. One of things about playing RPGs for years is the number of ways invented to abduct someone, often involving lots of booze or drugs. No reason to replicate in real life. As host, be prepared to encourage a player to stay and watch an episode of <something> if needed to allow some more detox to happen after the session ends.

Depending on the host's pet and kid situation, might be possible to end a session mid play and everything be ready for play the next session.

Parents have brought their kids to the games but with the understanding that we weren't going to suddenly change the tone. Parent's call on that one. I have one long time friend who's daughter is bringing her son and now daughter to the game. Sigh. But good. Corrupting the next generations.

 

[billd91]

For the game groups I've been in the most lately, there's been a long-standing tradition of playing at the home with the youngest kids - based on the idea that they will need supervision and support (like diapering supplies) the most. But if the game is after bed time, while that may affect the amount of noise we can make, we have the same freedom of content and language as if we were all with adults.
Having alcohol with the game is a long-standing tradition with us. It's frequently been beer but lately has shifted more to cocktails, particularly because the hosts like making martinis. We do drink in moderation, though, since most of us are too old to endure hangovers lightly. Fortunately, one of the players also brings sodas - usually a variety of Sprecher options - so there's no chance of getting parched from lack of drink options.
If you've got to game in a public space, it's good to have the options. But it's hard to beat playing at someone's home where you can be more comfortable and feel less like you're in a fishbowl for a bunch of looky-loos.

 

[aco175]

I'm not sure how my mother put up with all of us playing each week in the home. Part must have been having my father as one of the players, but also might have been to have us kids off the 'streets'.

Great article. Does the library allow food and drinks?

 

[Scott Christian]

I'm not sure how my mother put up with all of us playing each week in the home. Part must have been having my father as one of the players, but also might have been to have us kids off the 'streets'.

Great article. Does the library allow food and drinks?

Way back when we were college aged, we use to play at my friend's house. I will never forget when his mom had a friend over, and she asked his mom, "Aren't you worried about them, sitting there playing a game instead of doing regular stuff?" To which his mom instantly replied: "My son and his friends are at home, surrounded by books, doing math for fun, and writing. Your kids are at the bar. I think you have the roles reversed."

I don't know why, but that made us feel good, and a bit less like outcasts.

 

[talien]

I'm not sure how my mother put up with all of us playing each week in the home. Part must have been having my father as one of the players, but also might have been to have us kids off the 'streets'.

Great article. Does the library allow food and drinks?

Officially no.

Unofficially, as adults and we clean up after ourselves, yes. We play regularly from noon to 5 so eating is kind of a necessity (I snack on bars the entire time, but some folks do eat). I do make it a point of not having anything too smelly.

We're blessed honestly. Our library is amazing, but boy did it feel good to let the loose at home too!

 

[GreyLord]

i generally do not like alcohol in my games these days (or those who are present to drink alcoholic drinks). I used to have those who drank heavily in one of my groups, and they could get quite drunk. While it is quite the experience (and some are very easily influenced while drunk) to play with drunk people, I found that I prefer stone cold sober to that of drunk. Obviously, there are those that fit somewhere in between, but if you play long enough and allow enough openness in the games so anyone can join, you will eventually get a drunk.

So, these days, I prefer no alcohol, though snacks can be allowed depending on the location and venue.

 

[sevenbastard]

Ive never been a fan of combining drinking and RPGing. I've definitely done it, but honestly one of my favorite parts about playing in person at a public place is everyone stays sober.

Don't get me wrong, I love drinking, but I have never found it enhances the gaming experience for me.