Plane Sailing
Astral Admin - Mwahahaha!
StevenAC - I don't pay much attention to most song/skits people write on these boards, but that is just so, so excellent!
I wish I could do that!
I wish I could do that!
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NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
Sagiro's Story Hour Returns (new thread started on 5/18/08)
- Thread starter Sagiro
- Start date
(contact)
Explorer
Sagiro said:
This is just the best. Thanks for going the extra mile on this one!
-----
Piratecat was holding up your beholder and his password as the most recent epitome of your Rat Bastardliness, and helped pacify my (pissed off) players.
(tips hat)
I'm also gratified that the thing was dead-- the image of the beholder, lying in its own impact crater with its central eye staring blankly as a warbling laugh bubbles up through its scaly lips . . . (shudders).
I'm glad you liked my little parody of G&S, KidC.
The only problem that I seem to have now is a tendency,
No matter what the topic is, to think and write iambic'ly...
*thwack*
Oh, no. Could somebody please get this song OUT OF MY HEAD!!
In other news... Part Seven of the collected Story Hour is now available on the website. This is the part where the Company finally catches up with Mokad and the Black Circle and Sagiro reaches new heights of rat-bastardliness...
Mathew_Freeman
Adventurer
*whipes tears out of eyes*
Thank you, thank you...genius is not too strong a word. That was fantastic.
Thank you, thank you...genius is not too strong a word.
That was fantastic.
Plane Sailing
Astral Admin - Mwahahaha!
Swack-Iron said:
Did anyone remind your DM of the bad consequence that Flame Strikes are half *divine power* damage and thus fully applicable to people immune to fire?
Hmmm?
edit: formatting
Last edited:
Sagiro
Rodent of Uncertain Parentage
Sorry about the long delay! Planning a wedding takes up a lot of time, so updates will probably be sporadic for the next couple of months.
That said, here's the first half of the only session still undocumented:
Sagiro’s Story Hour, Part 191
“Void in the Glass I return to Thee!”
“Kai Kin Custard!”
“Friend!”
The hidden tower fails to respond.
“How about ‘Open the bloody hell up!’” cries Grey Wolf.
“’Friend’ is always the password,” grumbles Kibi reproachfully, glaring at the tower through the sleet.
“Not much of a password, is it, if everybody can guess it,” says Ernie.
Everyone is beyond soaking wet by now. The courtyard grass has vanished beneath a slick carpet of hard white slush.
“We should do another passwall now that the door’s open,” suggests Dranko. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“We all get blasted backward and suffer great pain,” says Ernie.
“Really?” answers Dranko. “I wonder what that’s like.”
Grey Wolf rolls his eyes.
“You told us you could get out of the way!” he cries. “You’ve jumped out of everything else we’ve thrown at you.”
“So what the hell are we going to do?” asks Dranko, looking at no one in particular. “We’re standing herein the rain. There’s exploded giant all over my boots…”
“I think that’s exploded you,” interrupts Ernie.
Flicker is still standing next to the tower, fiddling around with the key. The dead beholder has told them they need a password, but maybe if he can jimmy the lock in just the right way, he can spring the door open. That’s the idea, anyway, but he’s not having any luck.
Step is sitting cross-legged on the wet ground, head bowed, praying silently. Ernie watches the paladin, empathizing with the discomfort of icy rivulets running down beneath plate mail.
“Wait a minute!” says Ernie suddenly. He quotes from Step’s poem: “light must rive the last of five.’ Step’s how we get in! Hey Step!”
To Ernie’s disappointment, no one gets excited over his guess.
“We’ve already asked him,” says Morningstar. “He doesn’t know the password. None of us know it.”
“He doesn’t know the password,” says Ernie, “but maybe he is the password!”
The rest of the Company looks at him like he’s crazy. Dranko clears his throat and gestures toward the tower.
“Uh, so in other words, every time they want to walk in through the door after running errands, they pull out One Certain Step, and…”
“Maybe it’s some sort of… special… thing…” says Ernie lamely, realizing he’s come to a dead end.
“I die inside,” says Step, lifting his head briefly and looking pointedly at the tower.
“You’re not going to die,” says Ernie. “Nobody’s going to die here.”
“That’s right,” mutters Kibi. “’Cause we’re not getting inside at this rate.”
Morningstar has been taking a long look at Step, lost in silent prayer. She thinks he looks especially somber, almost morose. Ernie notices the same thing.
“Maybe we should cast commune to find out what happened to his horse,” he whispers.
“His horse doesn’t exist,” says Grey Wolf, quietly, so that Step cannot hear.
“The giants have horses,” says Dranko “We can take one of the littlest giantish ponies and it’ll be the size of his war-horse…”
The others are staring at him.
“Never mind,” he mutters. To change the subject, he turns to Morningstar.
“By the way. Remember way back when we were investigating Gohgan’s basement and you guys wanted to charm Gohgan and I said, no, being charmed is horrible? Er… how was it?”
Morningstar thinks for a second before answering.
“Beats being fireballed” she says, smirking.
“Or lightning bolted?” asks Dranko.
“Okay, okay!” shouts Grey Wolf. “For the last time, you said you could jump out of the way!”
“But no, it wasn’t so good,” concludes Morningstar.
“So the problem was,” explains Dranko, “I could have dodged the lightning bolts, but you lightning bolted the cloud, and I didn’t know which way the stupid thing was coming from. That was my problem.”
“You wanna practice?” says Ernie, smiling innocently. Grey Wolf laughs as well.
“You’re healed up again,” adds Flicker, grinning.
“Oh, I don’t mean now,” says Ernie. “But back at the… oh…”
His face falls.
“What?” says Dranko.
“I was going to say, you could practice out in the backyard of the Greenhouse but… we don’t have a backyard anymore.”
“Sure we do,” says Kibi.
“It just happens to be in an evil city, on another continent, where we can’t get to. No problem,” says Dranko.
“We can’t teleport to it?” asks Kibi.
“It’s across the uncrossable sea,” Ernie reminds him.
The witty banter falters. The sleet doesn’t.
“So how are we going to figure out the stupid password?” bursts out Dranko angrily.
Morningstar sighs. She knows what the plan is likely to be, as it was the last time they faced this sort of predicament. Kibi has come to the same realization. Morningstar can flood the area around the tower with thought captures.
“Hey Morningstar,” says Kibi with a wry smile. “What’s the password?”
“Hopefully it involves a sneeze, ‘cause we’re all going to have colds,” says Grey Wolf.
Morningstar straightens up, and does some quick counting of her open spell slots for the day.
“Hey Flicker,” she says. “Get your thoughts out of there.”
Flicker looks up from his picking efforts, momentarily confused. Then he gets it.
“Oh… right.”
“Or work without thinking,” says Ernie.
“I have plenty of though captures I can cast today,” says Morningstar.
“Couldn’t hurt,” says Ernie. “The worst thing that can happen is you end up sharing Flicker’s innermost thoughts.”
“Ewwwww,” says Grey Wolf, making a face.
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” says Morningstar.
“Must be better than Dranko’s thoughts,” points out Aravis.
A new idea comes to Kibi.
“Hey Scree,” he thinks.
“Yes?”
“I don’t suppose the Eyes feel like telling you the password so we can get into the tower?”
“I don’t suppose either,” answers the earth elemental glumly.
Kibi shares this failure with the others.
“Can they get their brother to come and open the door?” asks Ernie.
“Yeah, really,” says Grey Wolf, pointing to the tower. “The third Eye is in there, right?”
Scree, annoyed, thinks to Kibi. “Maybe I haven’t made myself clear enough. I don’t know what the Eyes are doing. I don’t know what they’re thinking. I don’t know what they’re going to do. I wish you’d all stop asking me.”
“Sorry,” thinks Kibi.
Kay fidgets.
“I wish I knew what the giants out there were up to,” she says.
Morningstar casts a telepathic bond and connects herself with Kay, Grey Wolf, Morningstar and Dranko. Kay goes up to the rooftops to keep watch.
“Now you can experience the joy of sharing a mind-link with Dranko,” says Flicker to Grey Wolf.
“Mm,” says Grey Wolf, concerned. “And you can’t wash out your brain.”
“What?” says Dranko, pretending to be insulted. Then he leers. He’ll give ‘em something to wash out…
“Oh, for crying out loud,” he says. “I promise I won’t think a single thing about your tight elven ass.”
“ICK!” exclaims Ernie, turning red.
“Aaaagghh!” adds Grey Wolf.
“He’s a half-elf,” points out Flicker. “Does that make him half-assed?”
“That reminds me of a joke I heard once,” says Dranko. “How can you tell how old an elf is? Cut him in half and count the rings”
Grey Wolf groans. Aravis may or may not have then uttered: “I thought elves only had three rings…”
Ah, yes. Lacking the password and using up their patience, the Company is getting quite punchy. A few minutes later Morningstar has stocked as full a complement of thought captures as she can for the day. She stands near the door to the tower and starts to cast.
The first thought she gleans is Flicker’s, something about the length of a post.
“Flicker, what’s a post?” she asks, curious.
“It’s the part at the end of a key that the bit is attached to,” answers Flicker.
“Ah.”
The second thought is also Flicker’s. He’s hoping that Dranko’s timing is just right when he yanks out a secondary lock-picking tool.
The third thought is yet another from Flicker. He’s thinking: “I’ll never be able to pull the door open using the key as a handle, but I might as well try.”
“I’m telling you,” says Dranko, “we need a magical device that stops Flicker from thinking.”
The fourth thought is from Snokas, a feeling of unfocused pain. The fifth is Flicker again, thinking: “Too bright! Too bright!”
The sixth is a giant’s thoughts: “I’m getting beaten up by something… little… and… oh, my boots are muddy!”
“That would be confusion,” says Ernie.
The seventh and eighth thoughts are also giantish and unhelpful. (One is “I…uh…uh… I… ow!” The other is “I’m gonna KILL that little thing! I’m gonna smash him into the ground! I’m gonna…”)
The ninth is Flicker again. And that’s it for today.
“I wonder what would happen if I picked up a thought of myself casting thought capture,” Morningstar muses aloud.
“Your head would explode!” says Ernie.
“I think you’re onto something,” says Morningstar to Dranko. “A little helmet that would keep Flicker’s thoughts from leaking out might be a good thing to have.”
Flicker looks incensed.
“Don’t be angry,” says Dranko. “It’s nothing personal.”
“It’s just that we often want to thought capture near doors after you’ve worked on them,” says Aravis.
Everyone has by now moved off to one edge of the courtyard, standing under one of the wide balconies.
“Anybody hungry?” asks Ernie.
“Yeah, food would be nice,” says Grey Wolf.
“Nothing like being electrocuted to give you an appetite,” adds Dranko.
Ernie starts preparations for a meal. The others sit down on the damp grass beneath the overhang, chatting.
“Do you think we already know the password?” muses Morningstar. “Some word or phrase we’ve heard before?”
“We might,” says Grey Wolf. “It might be something the Eyes have told us.”
“Did Eigomic say who gave him the key?” asks Dranko.
“Wasn’t it the Keeper before him?” says Aravis.
Several heads nod. Dranko lights a cigar, then motions with it toward the tower.
“Cause if no one’s come out of there for some time, that tells us something different than if somebody shows up every few months, or ten years.”
“Eigomic, here is your shiny new key,” says Ernie in falsetto, pretending to be a Black Circle priest.
“We had to change the lock…” adds Aravis.
“…’Cause some adventuring group got in,” finishes Ernie.
“I wonder what Eigomic would do if something like that happened?” says Morningstar.
“He’d summon the beholder,” says Kibi. “That’s why he was so confused after we killed it. He’s lost his purpose.”
“I’d guess the password is not something Black Circle related,” says Aravis. “Remember, they were trying to hide from the Black Circle as well.”
“Let’s take a minute to ponder the craziness of what we’re saying here,” says Ernie. “We want to get into a building that was too evil for the Black Circle!”
Talk turns to the plan of Morningstar’s thought captures. Despite today’s failure, there still seems to be no better solution than to repeat the process tomorrow.
“I’ve got to be honest,” says Aravis. “I’ve got a feeling this plan is doomed to failure. Besides, we’ve done it before. We can do better!”
“Like what?” says Kibi skeptically.
“How?” adds Ernie. “I’m waiting for suggestions on ‘better,’ because I’m all out of ‘better.’ All I’ve got is ‘mediocre.’ And some soup.”
“You have soup?” asks Grey Wolf, perking up.
“Well, I’m starting the soup. It’ll take a while for the jerky to soften.”
Another period of silence follows while Ernie stirs the pot. Everyone broods on the problem at hand.
“I can cast knock on the tower,” says Aravis, without much optimism.
Several heads turn to look at Aravis, to see if he’s joking or not. Morningstar snorts.
“Not only is the tower concealed, and not only is the door locked, but there were giants guarding it, and the key was concealed, and that wasn’t even the real key…”
“If you try it, I’m standing far back,” says Ernie.
Aravis gets to his feet and walks carefully of the center of the courtyard. He’s fully healed up and further fortified with an endurance. At his request Flicker puts the key in the lock and turns it, causing a soft whitish glow to emanate from the invisible doorway. Then Flicker scurries away and Aravis steps forward. With one hand on the key, he casts knock.
FOOM!
As when he tried the passwall, light floods the area around the tower. Aravis is blown backward, his flesh seared with magical energy. He lands painfully on his back, gasping in pain and choking on the sleet that pours into his mouth.
The tower looks no different. Aravis picks himself up and shuffles back to the group for healing. No one says anything.
More minutes pass. Ernie starts ladling soup into bowls and passing them around.
“Drosh,” shouts Dranko at the tower.
“Open sesame!” shouts Kibi. “Abra Cadabra!”
Aravis says “Ionarb Teh”
They pull out some of their written notes on the subject of the Hets while they eat, searching for promising proper names.
“Insulati!” says Kibi.
“Surgoil!” says Dranko. “Last of Five!”
Ernie recites the names of the other four Hets: “Chanob! Kai Kin! Shirfin! Runnel!”
Nothing happens.
“The question is,” says Ernie between spoonfuls, “Is this Het still sought by the Black Circle? In this alternate timeline, are they still too evil for the Black Circle?”
“Hm,” says Aravis. “Hadn’t thought of that.”
“For that matter,” continues Ernie, “The Eye is in Het Branoi in our world…”
“…but the Eye might not even be in there in this one,” finishes Morningstar.
“That would be unacceptable,” says Grey Wolf flatly, and everyone is inclined to agree.
Next up is a thorough review of Step’s poem from his church in Djaw, in the hopes that it will reveal something useful.
“Sharshun!” guesses Kibi.
“Naloric! Naradawk!” shouts Ernie.
“Open the friggin’ door, sock monkey!” tries Dranko.
“I don’t think Edghar likes that kind of talk,” says Ernie, glancing at Grey Wolf.
“I can always have the last laugh,” thinks Edghar to his master. “He’s not likely to take a poop where I’m sleeping, if you catch my drift.”
“Don’t count on it,” warns Grey Wolf.
The Company reviews their recent conversation with the dead beholder.
“Garlang!” says Kibi. “Zoya! Garlang and Zoya!”
“We could bang our heads against the tower until it opens,” says Morningstar.
“If only we hadn’t killed the beholder, Morningstar could cast memory read," says Flicker.
“See? I told you we shouldn’t kill it,” says Morningstar, laughing despite her frustration.
“Your judgement was impaired,” Grey Wolf points out.
“I could raise it from the dead,” says Morningstar.
“Giants coming,” says Kay over the mindlink. “Four of them. Eigomic’s coming back.”
Soon after this warning Eigomic’s deep voice booms from the northern entrance to the courtyard.
“Hello! I’m coming in!”
He marches in with three giants in tow.
“We’ve come for the body of the Floating Master,” he says gravely.
Morningstar stands up and walks to stand near the dead beholder. Kibi goes with her to act as translator. She looks up at Eigomic.
“If it were possible to bring the Floating Master back to life, would you allow it?” she asks.
The giantish Keeper frowns, and gives Morningstar a long, questioning look.
“You can do that?” he asks.
“I may be able to,” says Morningstar.
“For what purpose would you bring back the Floating Master?” asks Eigomic, his eyes narrowing.
“To get into the tower,” says Morningstar simply.
“What would become of the Floating Master after he had gotten you into the tower?”
“That would depend on whether he attacked us again or not,” says Morningstar.
“Given that you killed him the last time,” says Eigomic, “how would you stop him from trying to attack you when he sees you? It’s what I would do if I were him.”
“Maybe he’ll think, boy, I don’t want to die again,” says Dranko, walking over to join them.
“He may be smart enough not to fight again,” says Morningstar.
“We’d prefer not to kill anyone,” adds Ernie.
Eigomic rubs his chin with his hand. The other three giants fidget uncomfortably.
“I wish to meditate upon my answer,” says Eigomic.
“That is fair,” says Morningstar.
“He’ll be casting augury” mutters Dranko.
“When do you want an answer?” asks Eigomic.
“How many times have you met the Floating Master?” Dranko interrupts.
“I have seen him once,” says Eigomic, taken a bit off guard.
“Did it chat with you?”
“No.”
“Never?”
“Never!”
“Did you receive the key from your predecessor?” asks Morningstar.
“Yes,” says Eigomic.
“Who did he receive it from?” asks Dranko.
“I assume that the former Keeper received it from the Keeper before him,” says Eigomic impatiently. “And so on, back to when the Floating Master gave it to the first Keeper. That was before my birth.”
“How long ago was that?” asks Ernie.
“Hundreds of years,” rumbles the Keeper.
“Are there any journals or notebooks that the previous Keepers kept?” asks Morningstar.
“No,” says Eigomic.
“Any spoken lore passed down from the previous Keepers?” prods Dranko.
“None that involves access to the interior of the statue,” growls Eigomic.
“No mystic hoo-hahs, or sayings… that sort of thing?” presses Dranko.
“No!” says Eigomic. “I assume that you are trying to find out yet again if I have the password or not. I told you before that I did not. And if I remember correctly, you were able to detect lies when I said so.”
“But you might not have been aware of it, which would mean you weren’t lying,” says Ernie.
“Not that we’re accusing you of lying,” adds Dranko hastily.
“And not that it would matter,” says Morningstar under her breath. Then, to the giant, she says, “Are there any creatures other than the Floating Master and the previous Keeper that you were supposed to respect or serve?”
“The chieftain of the town,” says Eigomic. “Tegmannic. I am beholden only to the words of Tegmannic, and the Floating Master.”
“Who never talked to you…” says Dranko.
“Yes,” says Eigomic, glowering down at the half-orc. “I think this conversation is at an end.”
“There is a spell I can use to keep the Floating Master’s body from decaying,” says Morningstar. “May I use that?”
“Yes, I will allow that,” says Eigomic. He and his entourage start to leave. But he turns around in the archway and adds: “If your attempt to bring the Floating Master back from the dead fails, I will take his body for burial. No more games.”
He strides out of the courtyard. Morningstar casts gentle repose on the sopping corpse of the beholder.
Ernie watches the giant depart, then turns to Kibi.
“Kibi, you’re the Opener. Can’t you open it?”
“I think Kibi’s Opener status refers to something else,” says Aravis.
But Kibi is right fed up by this time with the day’s lack of progress.
“Flicker, go turn the key in the lock. Morningstar, I’d like a shield other please.”
The others do as he asks.
He stalks out into the center of the courtyard. Making sure he retains constant contact with the ground, he takes a running charge directly at the door.
BONK!
He bounces off the cold hard surface of the doorway, slips on the slick ground and falls backward. His head strikes the ice with a crack. He’s out cold.
“There’s the mighty Opener right there,” says Dranko, wincing.
A few seconds later Kibi regains consciousness. He struggles to his feet and puts his hands on the door, thinking “Opening” thoughts.
“Soup’s here!” he shouts at the door. “Reeeeeeeally good soup! Just on the other side of this door!”
“Knocked himself silly,” says Morningstar, shaking her head.
Dranko has sudden brainstorm; since detect magic works while the Divination Sinks are turned away, perhaps they can now use find the path to determine the password. (Previous find the path spells may have been foiled by the Sinks…) But then they realize that the location is probably in another plane, which would preclude that particular divination from working. Another idea, shot down in flames.
By nightfall the sleet has finally stopped falling. The Company finds some dry-ish patches beneath the balconies and goes to sleep.
* *
The next day dawns clear and cold. Morningstar leaves all of her spell slots empty, intending to fill them a few at a time with thought captures.
Dranko casts an augury: Will Morningstar’s use of the spell find the path to learn the password into the tower bring us weal or woe?”
The answer comes back to him after a long silence, and the one word echoes faintly in his mind: Irrelevant.
“It means it ain’t gonna work,” says Dranko. “Stupid planar hoo-hah.”
In a high whiny voice he adds: “Oh, I have to build my home on another plane. Oh, I’m not good enough for this plane. Oh, the universe doesn’t reject me…”
He sees that everyone else is staring at him.
“Never mind,” he mumbles.
Ernie casts his own divination: Will we do well if we use thought capture multiple times to find the password? The answer, again after an unusually long delay: “The answer is Corilayna’s business.”
“What the hell?” asks Grey Wolf, when Ernie announces Yondalla’s reply.
“I think that means it will work, with luck,” says Ernie.
“We might as well go for it then” says Dranko. “I’m out of options, myself. If I can’t pick its pocket, and I can’t whip its eye out, I’m pretty much at a loss.”
“You haven’t tried licking it yet,” points out Flicker.
“Oooh. You know what I haven’t tried yet?” says Dranko. “I haven’t cast know age on the tower.”
“You haven’t tried licking it yet,” says Morningstar. “Dranko, that’s great!”
“He’s a recovering lick-o-holic,” says Ernie, smirking.
“I wonder what ancient towers taste like?” Dranko muses out loud.
“I’ll bet your tongue would get stuck to it in this cold,” says Kibi.
“O-kaaaaaaaay,” says Morningstar, walking over to stand before the tower. “Here I go.”
She starts casting thought captures.
The first four pick up thoughts from either Flicker or giants.
The fifth thought is of someone thinking, very distinctly, “Knowledge, Power, Eternity.”
Excitedly Morningstar says this out loud.
The illusion of the beholder statue drops, leaving the tower unobscured.
There is a Company-wide sigh of disappointment.
“Well, that’s something,” says Grey Wolf.
Flicker tries the key again with the illusion down. There’s no difference at all. Dranko utters the phrase a second time and the illusion springs back into being. He tries the words in different orders but nothing else interesting happens. Then he backs away to stop polluting the area with his thoughts.
Morningstar’s sixth thought capture collects a thought of Dranko thinking: “Eternity, Power, Knowledge. Dang, didn’t work.”
Fourteen more thought captures reveal nothing new: thoughts of Flicker, thoughts of giants, another thought of the illusion-setting password. But Morningstar’s got more where those came from. She prays for fifteen more minutes and starts again.
She gets five more thoughts, four of Flicker, and one of One Certain Step thinking: “Ooof! Those clubs hurt!”
The sixth thought of the new batch is the most maddening of all. Clearly she picks up someone thinking “I cannot remember the password.”
So close! She relays this thought to the others. There is a collective groan.
There is a collective pause.
It occurs to Kibi and Aravis at about the same time. As Kibi gets to his feet Aravis walks over to stand directly next to the tower door and in a clear voice, annunciating every syllable succinctly, he says:
“I cannot remember the password.”
The invisible door begins to hum. Flicker puts the key in the lock and turns it. A bright reddish glow shines out.
Celebration* ensues.
…to be continued…
* this included players throwing bread rolls at the DM.
That said, here's the first half of the only session still undocumented:
Sagiro’s Story Hour, Part 191
“Void in the Glass I return to Thee!”
“Kai Kin Custard!”
“Friend!”
The hidden tower fails to respond.
“How about ‘Open the bloody hell up!’” cries Grey Wolf.
“’Friend’ is always the password,” grumbles Kibi reproachfully, glaring at the tower through the sleet.
“Not much of a password, is it, if everybody can guess it,” says Ernie.
Everyone is beyond soaking wet by now. The courtyard grass has vanished beneath a slick carpet of hard white slush.
“We should do another passwall now that the door’s open,” suggests Dranko. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“We all get blasted backward and suffer great pain,” says Ernie.
“Really?” answers Dranko. “I wonder what that’s like.”
Grey Wolf rolls his eyes.
“You told us you could get out of the way!” he cries. “You’ve jumped out of everything else we’ve thrown at you.”
“So what the hell are we going to do?” asks Dranko, looking at no one in particular. “We’re standing herein the rain. There’s exploded giant all over my boots…”
“I think that’s exploded you,” interrupts Ernie.
Flicker is still standing next to the tower, fiddling around with the key. The dead beholder has told them they need a password, but maybe if he can jimmy the lock in just the right way, he can spring the door open. That’s the idea, anyway, but he’s not having any luck.
Step is sitting cross-legged on the wet ground, head bowed, praying silently. Ernie watches the paladin, empathizing with the discomfort of icy rivulets running down beneath plate mail.
“Wait a minute!” says Ernie suddenly. He quotes from Step’s poem: “light must rive the last of five.’ Step’s how we get in! Hey Step!”
To Ernie’s disappointment, no one gets excited over his guess.
“We’ve already asked him,” says Morningstar. “He doesn’t know the password. None of us know it.”
“He doesn’t know the password,” says Ernie, “but maybe he is the password!”
The rest of the Company looks at him like he’s crazy. Dranko clears his throat and gestures toward the tower.
“Uh, so in other words, every time they want to walk in through the door after running errands, they pull out One Certain Step, and…”
“Maybe it’s some sort of… special… thing…” says Ernie lamely, realizing he’s come to a dead end.
“I die inside,” says Step, lifting his head briefly and looking pointedly at the tower.
“You’re not going to die,” says Ernie. “Nobody’s going to die here.”
“That’s right,” mutters Kibi. “’Cause we’re not getting inside at this rate.”
Morningstar has been taking a long look at Step, lost in silent prayer. She thinks he looks especially somber, almost morose. Ernie notices the same thing.
“Maybe we should cast commune to find out what happened to his horse,” he whispers.
“His horse doesn’t exist,” says Grey Wolf, quietly, so that Step cannot hear.
“The giants have horses,” says Dranko “We can take one of the littlest giantish ponies and it’ll be the size of his war-horse…”
The others are staring at him.
“Never mind,” he mutters. To change the subject, he turns to Morningstar.
“By the way. Remember way back when we were investigating Gohgan’s basement and you guys wanted to charm Gohgan and I said, no, being charmed is horrible? Er… how was it?”
Morningstar thinks for a second before answering.
“Beats being fireballed” she says, smirking.
“Or lightning bolted?” asks Dranko.
“Okay, okay!” shouts Grey Wolf. “For the last time, you said you could jump out of the way!”
“But no, it wasn’t so good,” concludes Morningstar.
“So the problem was,” explains Dranko, “I could have dodged the lightning bolts, but you lightning bolted the cloud, and I didn’t know which way the stupid thing was coming from. That was my problem.”
“You wanna practice?” says Ernie, smiling innocently. Grey Wolf laughs as well.
“You’re healed up again,” adds Flicker, grinning.
“Oh, I don’t mean now,” says Ernie. “But back at the… oh…”
His face falls.
“What?” says Dranko.
“I was going to say, you could practice out in the backyard of the Greenhouse but… we don’t have a backyard anymore.”
“Sure we do,” says Kibi.
“It just happens to be in an evil city, on another continent, where we can’t get to. No problem,” says Dranko.
“We can’t teleport to it?” asks Kibi.
“It’s across the uncrossable sea,” Ernie reminds him.
The witty banter falters. The sleet doesn’t.
“So how are we going to figure out the stupid password?” bursts out Dranko angrily.
Morningstar sighs. She knows what the plan is likely to be, as it was the last time they faced this sort of predicament. Kibi has come to the same realization. Morningstar can flood the area around the tower with thought captures.
“Hey Morningstar,” says Kibi with a wry smile. “What’s the password?”
“Hopefully it involves a sneeze, ‘cause we’re all going to have colds,” says Grey Wolf.
Morningstar straightens up, and does some quick counting of her open spell slots for the day.
“Hey Flicker,” she says. “Get your thoughts out of there.”
Flicker looks up from his picking efforts, momentarily confused. Then he gets it.
“Oh… right.”
“Or work without thinking,” says Ernie.
“I have plenty of though captures I can cast today,” says Morningstar.
“Couldn’t hurt,” says Ernie. “The worst thing that can happen is you end up sharing Flicker’s innermost thoughts.”
“Ewwwww,” says Grey Wolf, making a face.
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” says Morningstar.
“Must be better than Dranko’s thoughts,” points out Aravis.
A new idea comes to Kibi.
“Hey Scree,” he thinks.
“Yes?”
“I don’t suppose the Eyes feel like telling you the password so we can get into the tower?”
“I don’t suppose either,” answers the earth elemental glumly.
Kibi shares this failure with the others.
“Can they get their brother to come and open the door?” asks Ernie.
“Yeah, really,” says Grey Wolf, pointing to the tower. “The third Eye is in there, right?”
Scree, annoyed, thinks to Kibi. “Maybe I haven’t made myself clear enough. I don’t know what the Eyes are doing. I don’t know what they’re thinking. I don’t know what they’re going to do. I wish you’d all stop asking me.”
“Sorry,” thinks Kibi.
Kay fidgets.
“I wish I knew what the giants out there were up to,” she says.
Morningstar casts a telepathic bond and connects herself with Kay, Grey Wolf, Morningstar and Dranko. Kay goes up to the rooftops to keep watch.
“Now you can experience the joy of sharing a mind-link with Dranko,” says Flicker to Grey Wolf.
“Mm,” says Grey Wolf, concerned. “And you can’t wash out your brain.”
“What?” says Dranko, pretending to be insulted. Then he leers. He’ll give ‘em something to wash out…
“Oh, for crying out loud,” he says. “I promise I won’t think a single thing about your tight elven ass.”
“ICK!” exclaims Ernie, turning red.
“Aaaagghh!” adds Grey Wolf.
“He’s a half-elf,” points out Flicker. “Does that make him half-assed?”
“That reminds me of a joke I heard once,” says Dranko. “How can you tell how old an elf is? Cut him in half and count the rings”
Grey Wolf groans. Aravis may or may not have then uttered: “I thought elves only had three rings…”
Ah, yes. Lacking the password and using up their patience, the Company is getting quite punchy. A few minutes later Morningstar has stocked as full a complement of thought captures as she can for the day. She stands near the door to the tower and starts to cast.
The first thought she gleans is Flicker’s, something about the length of a post.
“Flicker, what’s a post?” she asks, curious.
“It’s the part at the end of a key that the bit is attached to,” answers Flicker.
“Ah.”
The second thought is also Flicker’s. He’s hoping that Dranko’s timing is just right when he yanks out a secondary lock-picking tool.
The third thought is yet another from Flicker. He’s thinking: “I’ll never be able to pull the door open using the key as a handle, but I might as well try.”
“I’m telling you,” says Dranko, “we need a magical device that stops Flicker from thinking.”
The fourth thought is from Snokas, a feeling of unfocused pain. The fifth is Flicker again, thinking: “Too bright! Too bright!”
The sixth is a giant’s thoughts: “I’m getting beaten up by something… little… and… oh, my boots are muddy!”
“That would be confusion,” says Ernie.
The seventh and eighth thoughts are also giantish and unhelpful. (One is “I…uh…uh… I… ow!” The other is “I’m gonna KILL that little thing! I’m gonna smash him into the ground! I’m gonna…”)
The ninth is Flicker again. And that’s it for today.
“I wonder what would happen if I picked up a thought of myself casting thought capture,” Morningstar muses aloud.
“Your head would explode!” says Ernie.
“I think you’re onto something,” says Morningstar to Dranko. “A little helmet that would keep Flicker’s thoughts from leaking out might be a good thing to have.”
Flicker looks incensed.
“Don’t be angry,” says Dranko. “It’s nothing personal.”
“It’s just that we often want to thought capture near doors after you’ve worked on them,” says Aravis.
Everyone has by now moved off to one edge of the courtyard, standing under one of the wide balconies.
“Anybody hungry?” asks Ernie.
“Yeah, food would be nice,” says Grey Wolf.
“Nothing like being electrocuted to give you an appetite,” adds Dranko.
Ernie starts preparations for a meal. The others sit down on the damp grass beneath the overhang, chatting.
“Do you think we already know the password?” muses Morningstar. “Some word or phrase we’ve heard before?”
“We might,” says Grey Wolf. “It might be something the Eyes have told us.”
“Did Eigomic say who gave him the key?” asks Dranko.
“Wasn’t it the Keeper before him?” says Aravis.
Several heads nod. Dranko lights a cigar, then motions with it toward the tower.
“Cause if no one’s come out of there for some time, that tells us something different than if somebody shows up every few months, or ten years.”
“Eigomic, here is your shiny new key,” says Ernie in falsetto, pretending to be a Black Circle priest.
“We had to change the lock…” adds Aravis.
“…’Cause some adventuring group got in,” finishes Ernie.
“I wonder what Eigomic would do if something like that happened?” says Morningstar.
“He’d summon the beholder,” says Kibi. “That’s why he was so confused after we killed it. He’s lost his purpose.”
“I’d guess the password is not something Black Circle related,” says Aravis. “Remember, they were trying to hide from the Black Circle as well.”
“Let’s take a minute to ponder the craziness of what we’re saying here,” says Ernie. “We want to get into a building that was too evil for the Black Circle!”
Talk turns to the plan of Morningstar’s thought captures. Despite today’s failure, there still seems to be no better solution than to repeat the process tomorrow.
“I’ve got to be honest,” says Aravis. “I’ve got a feeling this plan is doomed to failure. Besides, we’ve done it before. We can do better!”
“Like what?” says Kibi skeptically.
“How?” adds Ernie. “I’m waiting for suggestions on ‘better,’ because I’m all out of ‘better.’ All I’ve got is ‘mediocre.’ And some soup.”
“You have soup?” asks Grey Wolf, perking up.
“Well, I’m starting the soup. It’ll take a while for the jerky to soften.”
Another period of silence follows while Ernie stirs the pot. Everyone broods on the problem at hand.
“I can cast knock on the tower,” says Aravis, without much optimism.
Several heads turn to look at Aravis, to see if he’s joking or not. Morningstar snorts.
“Not only is the tower concealed, and not only is the door locked, but there were giants guarding it, and the key was concealed, and that wasn’t even the real key…”
“If you try it, I’m standing far back,” says Ernie.
Aravis gets to his feet and walks carefully of the center of the courtyard. He’s fully healed up and further fortified with an endurance. At his request Flicker puts the key in the lock and turns it, causing a soft whitish glow to emanate from the invisible doorway. Then Flicker scurries away and Aravis steps forward. With one hand on the key, he casts knock.
FOOM!
As when he tried the passwall, light floods the area around the tower. Aravis is blown backward, his flesh seared with magical energy. He lands painfully on his back, gasping in pain and choking on the sleet that pours into his mouth.
The tower looks no different. Aravis picks himself up and shuffles back to the group for healing. No one says anything.
More minutes pass. Ernie starts ladling soup into bowls and passing them around.
“Drosh,” shouts Dranko at the tower.
“Open sesame!” shouts Kibi. “Abra Cadabra!”
Aravis says “Ionarb Teh”
They pull out some of their written notes on the subject of the Hets while they eat, searching for promising proper names.
“Insulati!” says Kibi.
“Surgoil!” says Dranko. “Last of Five!”
Ernie recites the names of the other four Hets: “Chanob! Kai Kin! Shirfin! Runnel!”
Nothing happens.
“The question is,” says Ernie between spoonfuls, “Is this Het still sought by the Black Circle? In this alternate timeline, are they still too evil for the Black Circle?”
“Hm,” says Aravis. “Hadn’t thought of that.”
“For that matter,” continues Ernie, “The Eye is in Het Branoi in our world…”
“…but the Eye might not even be in there in this one,” finishes Morningstar.
“That would be unacceptable,” says Grey Wolf flatly, and everyone is inclined to agree.
Next up is a thorough review of Step’s poem from his church in Djaw, in the hopes that it will reveal something useful.
“Sharshun!” guesses Kibi.
“Naloric! Naradawk!” shouts Ernie.
“Open the friggin’ door, sock monkey!” tries Dranko.
“I don’t think Edghar likes that kind of talk,” says Ernie, glancing at Grey Wolf.
“I can always have the last laugh,” thinks Edghar to his master. “He’s not likely to take a poop where I’m sleeping, if you catch my drift.”
“Don’t count on it,” warns Grey Wolf.
The Company reviews their recent conversation with the dead beholder.
“Garlang!” says Kibi. “Zoya! Garlang and Zoya!”
“We could bang our heads against the tower until it opens,” says Morningstar.
“If only we hadn’t killed the beholder, Morningstar could cast memory read," says Flicker.
“See? I told you we shouldn’t kill it,” says Morningstar, laughing despite her frustration.
“Your judgement was impaired,” Grey Wolf points out.
“I could raise it from the dead,” says Morningstar.
“Giants coming,” says Kay over the mindlink. “Four of them. Eigomic’s coming back.”
Soon after this warning Eigomic’s deep voice booms from the northern entrance to the courtyard.
“Hello! I’m coming in!”
He marches in with three giants in tow.
“We’ve come for the body of the Floating Master,” he says gravely.
Morningstar stands up and walks to stand near the dead beholder. Kibi goes with her to act as translator. She looks up at Eigomic.
“If it were possible to bring the Floating Master back to life, would you allow it?” she asks.
The giantish Keeper frowns, and gives Morningstar a long, questioning look.
“You can do that?” he asks.
“I may be able to,” says Morningstar.
“For what purpose would you bring back the Floating Master?” asks Eigomic, his eyes narrowing.
“To get into the tower,” says Morningstar simply.
“What would become of the Floating Master after he had gotten you into the tower?”
“That would depend on whether he attacked us again or not,” says Morningstar.
“Given that you killed him the last time,” says Eigomic, “how would you stop him from trying to attack you when he sees you? It’s what I would do if I were him.”
“Maybe he’ll think, boy, I don’t want to die again,” says Dranko, walking over to join them.
“He may be smart enough not to fight again,” says Morningstar.
“We’d prefer not to kill anyone,” adds Ernie.
Eigomic rubs his chin with his hand. The other three giants fidget uncomfortably.
“I wish to meditate upon my answer,” says Eigomic.
“That is fair,” says Morningstar.
“He’ll be casting augury” mutters Dranko.
“When do you want an answer?” asks Eigomic.
“How many times have you met the Floating Master?” Dranko interrupts.
“I have seen him once,” says Eigomic, taken a bit off guard.
“Did it chat with you?”
“No.”
“Never?”
“Never!”
“Did you receive the key from your predecessor?” asks Morningstar.
“Yes,” says Eigomic.
“Who did he receive it from?” asks Dranko.
“I assume that the former Keeper received it from the Keeper before him,” says Eigomic impatiently. “And so on, back to when the Floating Master gave it to the first Keeper. That was before my birth.”
“How long ago was that?” asks Ernie.
“Hundreds of years,” rumbles the Keeper.
“Are there any journals or notebooks that the previous Keepers kept?” asks Morningstar.
“No,” says Eigomic.
“Any spoken lore passed down from the previous Keepers?” prods Dranko.
“None that involves access to the interior of the statue,” growls Eigomic.
“No mystic hoo-hahs, or sayings… that sort of thing?” presses Dranko.
“No!” says Eigomic. “I assume that you are trying to find out yet again if I have the password or not. I told you before that I did not. And if I remember correctly, you were able to detect lies when I said so.”
“But you might not have been aware of it, which would mean you weren’t lying,” says Ernie.
“Not that we’re accusing you of lying,” adds Dranko hastily.
“And not that it would matter,” says Morningstar under her breath. Then, to the giant, she says, “Are there any creatures other than the Floating Master and the previous Keeper that you were supposed to respect or serve?”
“The chieftain of the town,” says Eigomic. “Tegmannic. I am beholden only to the words of Tegmannic, and the Floating Master.”
“Who never talked to you…” says Dranko.
“Yes,” says Eigomic, glowering down at the half-orc. “I think this conversation is at an end.”
“There is a spell I can use to keep the Floating Master’s body from decaying,” says Morningstar. “May I use that?”
“Yes, I will allow that,” says Eigomic. He and his entourage start to leave. But he turns around in the archway and adds: “If your attempt to bring the Floating Master back from the dead fails, I will take his body for burial. No more games.”
He strides out of the courtyard. Morningstar casts gentle repose on the sopping corpse of the beholder.
Ernie watches the giant depart, then turns to Kibi.
“Kibi, you’re the Opener. Can’t you open it?”
“I think Kibi’s Opener status refers to something else,” says Aravis.
But Kibi is right fed up by this time with the day’s lack of progress.
“Flicker, go turn the key in the lock. Morningstar, I’d like a shield other please.”
The others do as he asks.
He stalks out into the center of the courtyard. Making sure he retains constant contact with the ground, he takes a running charge directly at the door.
BONK!
He bounces off the cold hard surface of the doorway, slips on the slick ground and falls backward. His head strikes the ice with a crack. He’s out cold.
“There’s the mighty Opener right there,” says Dranko, wincing.
A few seconds later Kibi regains consciousness. He struggles to his feet and puts his hands on the door, thinking “Opening” thoughts.
“Soup’s here!” he shouts at the door. “Reeeeeeeally good soup! Just on the other side of this door!”
“Knocked himself silly,” says Morningstar, shaking her head.
Dranko has sudden brainstorm; since detect magic works while the Divination Sinks are turned away, perhaps they can now use find the path to determine the password. (Previous find the path spells may have been foiled by the Sinks…) But then they realize that the location is probably in another plane, which would preclude that particular divination from working. Another idea, shot down in flames.
By nightfall the sleet has finally stopped falling. The Company finds some dry-ish patches beneath the balconies and goes to sleep.
* *
The next day dawns clear and cold. Morningstar leaves all of her spell slots empty, intending to fill them a few at a time with thought captures.
Dranko casts an augury: Will Morningstar’s use of the spell find the path to learn the password into the tower bring us weal or woe?”
The answer comes back to him after a long silence, and the one word echoes faintly in his mind: Irrelevant.
“It means it ain’t gonna work,” says Dranko. “Stupid planar hoo-hah.”
In a high whiny voice he adds: “Oh, I have to build my home on another plane. Oh, I’m not good enough for this plane. Oh, the universe doesn’t reject me…”
He sees that everyone else is staring at him.
“Never mind,” he mumbles.
Ernie casts his own divination: Will we do well if we use thought capture multiple times to find the password? The answer, again after an unusually long delay: “The answer is Corilayna’s business.”
“What the hell?” asks Grey Wolf, when Ernie announces Yondalla’s reply.
“I think that means it will work, with luck,” says Ernie.
“We might as well go for it then” says Dranko. “I’m out of options, myself. If I can’t pick its pocket, and I can’t whip its eye out, I’m pretty much at a loss.”
“You haven’t tried licking it yet,” points out Flicker.
“Oooh. You know what I haven’t tried yet?” says Dranko. “I haven’t cast know age on the tower.”
“You haven’t tried licking it yet,” says Morningstar. “Dranko, that’s great!”
“He’s a recovering lick-o-holic,” says Ernie, smirking.
“I wonder what ancient towers taste like?” Dranko muses out loud.
“I’ll bet your tongue would get stuck to it in this cold,” says Kibi.
“O-kaaaaaaaay,” says Morningstar, walking over to stand before the tower. “Here I go.”
She starts casting thought captures.
The first four pick up thoughts from either Flicker or giants.
The fifth thought is of someone thinking, very distinctly, “Knowledge, Power, Eternity.”
Excitedly Morningstar says this out loud.
The illusion of the beholder statue drops, leaving the tower unobscured.
There is a Company-wide sigh of disappointment.
“Well, that’s something,” says Grey Wolf.
Flicker tries the key again with the illusion down. There’s no difference at all. Dranko utters the phrase a second time and the illusion springs back into being. He tries the words in different orders but nothing else interesting happens. Then he backs away to stop polluting the area with his thoughts.
Morningstar’s sixth thought capture collects a thought of Dranko thinking: “Eternity, Power, Knowledge. Dang, didn’t work.”
Fourteen more thought captures reveal nothing new: thoughts of Flicker, thoughts of giants, another thought of the illusion-setting password. But Morningstar’s got more where those came from. She prays for fifteen more minutes and starts again.
She gets five more thoughts, four of Flicker, and one of One Certain Step thinking: “Ooof! Those clubs hurt!”
The sixth thought of the new batch is the most maddening of all. Clearly she picks up someone thinking “I cannot remember the password.”
So close! She relays this thought to the others. There is a collective groan.
There is a collective pause.
It occurs to Kibi and Aravis at about the same time. As Kibi gets to his feet Aravis walks over to stand directly next to the tower door and in a clear voice, annunciating every syllable succinctly, he says:
“I cannot remember the password.”
The invisible door begins to hum. Flicker puts the key in the lock and turns it. A bright reddish glow shines out.
Celebration* ensues.
…to be continued…
* this included players throwing bread rolls at the DM.
thatdarncat
Overlord of Chat
Sagiro said:
Bread rolls? Not dice?
Can't blame them though!
KidCthulhu
First Post
The very worst part was the beholder telling us the password, and his little deathly chuckle when we singularly failed to get it.
Sagiro is a bad, bad man.
Sagiro is a bad, bad man.
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