Save me from my DM

[OnlineDM]

If he's electrified the chairs then yes, he's gone too far.

On thing I did when I wasn't sure if the players were enjoying themselves was at the end of a game I gave everyone a 3x5 index card and asked them to answer three questions.

What was your favorite part of this game?
What was your least favorite part of this game?
What direction would you like to see the campaign go?

I also told them to write down any other suggestions too.

I did exactly this via email with my online campaign. It was really useful for me as a DM. I haven't been able to put much of what I've learned into action yet, but I feel like I now understand what the players want and can tailor the game appropriately.

A good DM seeks feedback from the players.

 

[pawsplay]

the dreade ditto post. More controlling as by railroading the campaign? More controlling as in limiting rules allowed? More controlling as in not letting players take certain actions?

Arranging player marriages? Requiring people to sign up $10,000 spritual seminars? Requiring players to call him "Master?"

 

[Olgar Shiverstone]

Requiring players to call him "Master?"

I see we've had the same DM.

 

[Nebten]

I prefer Mr. DM, sir.

 

[kitsune9]

(emphasis mine)

Is there something about that situation that you haven't told us?

Well, it was just more of the same and after of three hours of playing, he was done for the day because he had to cut it short and we told him that he was done and to not come back. We weren't jerks about it or anything. We did thank him for his time, but we made it clear that his DMing sucked and that it was not for us.

We gave him about four or five sessions of his DMing and we did have a sit down with him at the beginning of the last session, but he was completely disinterested in our complaints and told us that we were more than welcome to just quit.

We could have kicked him out before the game session started, but we did vote as to whether we would give him his last session or tell him that he didn't need to bother.

He was one of the few DMs in my lifetime that I thought was terrible but for only being so controlling and dice / mechanic aversive.

Happy Gaming!

 

[Haltherrion]

If my players tell me that they are not having fun in my game, it's my job to fix it and fix it quickly because the campaign's success will eventually ride on my willingness to respond to complaints or issues.

Well said; I'd give XP but I'm tapped .

My own game style really changed many years ago when I asked a player what he thought about the game and he said something like "You know, it's kind of boring some times."

That's when I moved from a sandbox-ish, "I'll build the world, the players can find something interesting to do" style to one where I take a more active interest in making sure something interesting is happening (for me that generally means preparing interesting plot hooks and developing the ones that players bite on.)

Honest feedback can be painful but extremely useful.

That particular feedback really made it sink home for me that players have lots of other distractions and attractions in their lives. If my game didn't rise above that then I wouldn't get them as often as I wanted. Put another way, if I want to game as much as I want to, I have to put some effort into making an appealing form of entertainment. Yeah, the players have to do their part but I have my role too.

 

[CuRoi]

Whatever you do - don't let him sit at the head of the table for a protracted amount of time. It will just make things worse. Your next session needs to be a discussion about the issues. (I love this about your game, hate this, etc.)

Only thing I can add (apart from the great suggestions so far) is you could -try- having a more experienced DM help him out. I've done this before, but it is tricky. You said this DM is a bit of a control freak so he may not go for it, but giving an experienced DM control of some part of the campaign and having the new DM assist might help him figure out what is working with the game and what isn't.

 

[kitsune9]

That's when I moved from a sandbox-ish, "I'll build the world, the players can find something interesting to do" style to one where I take a more active interest in making sure something interesting is happening (for me that generally means preparing interesting plot hooks and developing the ones that players bite on.)

Honest feedback can be painful but extremely useful.

I think the dynamic that changed for me was that back in my 2e and earlier days, I was more interested in just running the story / module than whether or not the players were having fun. Also, I tend to have gotten stuck in the same mode of DMing too because I thought it was cool.

When 3.0 came out, it really changed my perception of the game and then I switched my focus from having a story to tell to devising ways that that the players will have fun. Granted, it involves a lot more prep, but the rewards have paid off in that I don't feel that my players feel like they are grinding through my sessions.

 

[hippos purros]

i had a similar problem with a DM, i played an assassin but i could never beat one of his rolls, i rolled a 19 plus my 11 for a slight of hands checks and before he rolled, hed always ask what my bonus tomy checks was( the 11) ide tell him and watch his roll and hed roll an 11 for his commoner npc and ide lose the check, same went for my move silently, hide, bluff, diplomacy and pretty much anything else. i sat through a few games because he was my friend but ultimately you have to take it upon yourself to tell him that your going to quit his game, dont be hiostile and dont get mad and if hes a friend he wont get too upset about it.
(the only reason i joined in the first place was because he asked me to anyways considering his party was incompetant by his words, and now i see why they couldnt get past a mission)