[Shameless self-promotion]Ask Shinobi Killfist!

[barsoomcore]

Dear Mr. Killfist: By cool, do you mean sweet?

 

[trentonjoe]

Dear Master Killfist-

Why are Ninjas just cooler than everyone else? Is it the all black look? If so, why isn't Johny Cash cool?

Why do I get alergies in the winter when every other human on the planet gets them in the summer?

Is Kenny Rogers coming out with a new album?

Why can't people form Boston say the letter R right?

When do you use "too" as opposed to "to"?

WHat is in Wyoming?

Why are there 14 threads on archer PrC in the House Rules?

Thanks for your time,

TrentonJoe

 

[Nightfall]

Dear Shinobi,

I have a two fold question: 1) Are you a true demi-god and if so what of? 2) If you are interested I have my own gods that like to arm wrestle you and also a TRUE titan of great stature. Think you could take them?

 

[LostSoul]

Dear Killfist,

Who will Justin Timberlake be dating next?

 

[barsoomcore]

Dear Mr. Killfist: If you were Elvis, would you be alive?

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

Help me, Shinobi-wan, your my only hope

Dear Mr. Killfist,

My boss has been riding me pretty hard at work lately. It seems that nothing I do can please her. She's a type-A micromanager, and is always hovering over me while I work. It's enough to drive me nuts!

My question is, how many XPs can I get for slashing her car tires? They're nice thick radials, look expensive. Also, what's the best weapon I should use on them?

 

[shilsen]

I suspect you might get smited.

I doubt it, because I'm right. See - Shinobi's not even answering questions now. I'm telling you he's busy running around hugging trees and reciting poetry out there. Really! And it should be Shy'nobi Kyll-fyst anyway.

 

[Forrester]

Dear Shinobi Killfist,

All I really want to do is settle down with my very own tribe of fanatically loyal goblin followers, meet a nice goblin girl, and start sireing dozens of goblin children. Well, that and plenty of zombie minions to do the heavy lifting and give me an occasional foot massage. But Maglibuyet keeps sending me off on these lousy missions. Now he's got me chasing after some snot nosed kid for who knows what reason. Is that really a fitting job for a powerful and loyal follower in the prime of his life? I don't think so. Powerful clerics shouldn't have to look after the children.

How do I get the boss to let me settle down and enjoy the good life?

Thar, cleric of Maglibuyet

As someone who has sired a few thousand children of his own, I feel your pain. Sounds like you've got a tough problem there -- and a Rat Bastard DM to boot.

Have you considered sacrificing a few dozen elves to him? If there's one thing I know about goblins, it's that they like their elf blood. You also might want to consider getting off your ass and actually finishing the mission. I'm sure that after you find the snot-nosed kid, Mag will let you retire in peace. Lazy ass.

 

[Forrester]

Re: Dear Shinobi

I secretly got a thorax peircing and have so far been successfull hiding it from mom and dad, if they new they would feed me to the Kraken!
How can I tell them without being used for bait?

Theeqwa

I will suppose for the moment that the thought of you being fed to a Kraken does not amuse me in the slightest.

I find that in a situation like this, the best thing to do is distract them with a bigger issue. In other words, draw their attention away from your odd choice of jewelry and towards something that will concern them more. For instance, suppose that you sold your sister to wandering gypsies. I am guessing that your parents would be so concerned with finding her that your pierced thorax would barely register on their radar.

Shinobi

 

[Cedric]

I have a question for great Master Killfist...

If a fly lands on the ceiling, does it do a barrel roll...or a loop to loop?

Cedric