Silliest Game Quote

[derelictjay]

After the rogue successfully bluffed her way into a tavern guarded by city watchmen, and something alerted the guards (I forgot what*), the guards bust down the door and yell up the stairs to the rogue "Get down here now".

The player in character says "But I haven't found my stuff yet"

*I remember now, she used a sap to knock the guard out, and when one of the other guards went to check it out, well, back to story.

 

[Algolei]

From a player whose heavily encumbered character had just sunk to the bottom of a river: "If I jump, can I break the water?"

From a player who had to leave early: "Don't worry, I'll be here from 1:00 'til 3:00 -- that's a good four hours."

From the player who kept assuring he had brought enough water on their desert trek to keep everyone alive: "I brought 50 wetstones. We'll just break them open and drink. *Pop!* Gurgle gurgle gurgle...."

 

[Aeric]

The party entered a throne room, and on the throne was a corpse. Clutched in the corpse's hand was a note. The note was pried from the corpse's hand and read aloud. I don't remember what the note said, but after it was read, the rogue solemnly announced:

"He probably wrote this note before he died."

 

[Mouseferatu]

Most of mine are puns. See, I love puns, but it's very difficult to make them while still speaking in character.

So you can imagine my joy when I was able to tell my orc barbarian companion, without breaking character in the slightest:

"Please don't squeeze the shaman."

 

[Psimancer]

This happened way back in the eighties, back when D&D was going through a rough patch with public perception; it was viewed as something that led its players into the occult and devil worship and suicide…

We were in high school and playing D&D in the library at lunch time when the head librarian came over and started lecturing us on the ‘evils’ of the game.

He went on and on for a good 15 minutes. When he finally finished he just looked at us as if expecting us be cowering and to just pack up & leave.

Instead, Scotty just looked at the DM and went straight back into the game as if nothing had happened. In his loudest voice he announced, "...I WASTE THE HUMAN..."

The librarian was, of course, mortified, and just turned around shaking his head and walked back the way he had come. He never broached the subject again…

 

[DM JOE]

This one comes from the old Star Wars RPG(WEG)
One PC(sean) has been taken hostage and the other PC(J) is now faced with the choice of giving up to save his ally or try to shoot it out and risk his ally's life...
The hostage(sean) is killed and (J) is now in a blaster fight, in the course of this battle J's helmet(Boba Fett style) is shot and destroied the next words out of his mouth have become legendary in our gaming group...
"OK, NOW I'M MAD"

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Wetstones?

LOL!

 

[Taloras]

I'm playing a mage, flying, and am largely out of spells. The Big Bad is still up, and our meleers are having a tough time with him. I polymorph into a Stone Giant, swoop down and grab one of his ogre minions, with the intention of hurling it at him as a distraction. My grab attempt succeeds, but on my to hit roll I roll a 1. We have critical fumble rules in place in our game. My comment:

"I rolled a one with my ogre. Did I break him?"

LMAO. I love that one...

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Enemy "Yes, you can kill me, but then you'll never know what I have to tell you now!"
Me "She's a priest, she can speak with the dead"

 

[jonesy]

Rogue: "I think it's a dragon."
A red dragon whose invisibility spell just expired is standing right next to the party.
Barbarian (looking up at the dragon): "Are you sure?"
Dragon: "Yes."

Cleric to a gully dwarf: "How many ogres were there?"
NPC gully dwarf: "Two. No more than two." (Holding up ten fingers and a bigtoe.)
Barbarian: "Can we handle two ogres?" (also holding up ten fingers and a big toe.)

The party rogue stumbles into a room full of the BBEGs henchmen and decides to bluff her way out of the situation: "Did any of you see a monkey go through here just now? I seem to have lost mine."

The important point is...did it work?

They recognized her and fighting ensued. So not really.