Silliest thing you've seen in a serious campaign...

[Belphanior]

Smurfs. Yes, we had smurfs too in a campaign I was playing in a long time ago.

However, these smurfs were different. Although they were tiny, the wielded battleaxes so huge that even an ogre would have a hard time holding on to it. And they hated us too, for no particular reason.
The fight was horrible. My poor wizard got her throat slashed half open in a single stroke, dealing nearly enough damage to kill her instantly.

The DM was young and stupid at the time. Now he's just old and stupid.

 

[Moe Ronalds]

Big Poppa Boxcars, everybody's favorite pimp/hobo was an NPC I introduced into a D&D adventure where the PCs found themselves in a victorian era english town that was filled with people who wanted to eat their flesh. Big Poppa never got to talk, as they never saw him until the full moon, but I did at least describe him...

 

[Farland]

One time in an old serious campaign, as a little side vignette I made my group go up against a BBEG called "Echo" who commanded a whole tribe of wererabbits. That's right, they had to fight Echo and the Bunnymen.

 

[Janos Audron]

I have a similar story to the Unkillable Giant, though a bit more pathetic:

His name was Paulo and he was some third level warrior who came with us to help us kill some undead.

So we go through the underground complex, kill some undead and Paulo was getting on my nerves.

Then our Cleric Commanded some Zombies and they sealed off a hallway so that the rest of the Zombies couldn't get through.I told Paulo not to attack the Zombies.

Paulo saw his buddy (another gaurd) die fighting a Zombie, so he starts attacking the Commanded Zombie. And this is the point where things go downhill quickly.

First I cast Sleep on Paulo, only to roll two on the 2d4. No sleep for Paulo. Paulo drops his crossbow and charges the Zombie and he actually hits and kills it. Pissed off because he killed an ally (and because he disobeyed me) I cast Shocking Grasp...but I miss the touch attack (even though he was wearing metal armor!).

The hostile Zombie detonates itself (kinda like those Ice Spawn things from Diablo 2) and Paulo dies. But the fun doesn't end there since, at his initiative, he raises as a Zombie, and because I was the closest enemy, he detonates himself, brining me down to 0 hitpoints...for the third time that session.

The 5th level Necromancer who couldn't kill a level 3 warrior. This still haunts me to this day...

 

[Krieg]

"magic missile" became "magic monkey", which would conjure monkey-shaped animated energy that would scratch for 1d4+1 hp and disappear.

Well at least it didn't revolve around throwing feces!

 

[Eldragon]

The PCs are trying to assault a large keep that is filled with a race of creatures that use Arquebuses as their standard weapon. The PCs know that 1 in 100 of these creatures have an officer that has a magical helmet of true seeing. Two of the PCs decide that they want to scout out the keep from the air, and maybe get one of these helmets. So the local Sorc Casts invisibility and fly upon two of the party members. So in broad daylight they approach the keep. As they near the keep from the air they see well over a hundred soldier marching about the tower on patrol. When the PCs get rather close suddenly the find themselves being fired upon. One of the enemy is reasonably accurate, the rest are only shooting in their general direction. The PCs determine that an officer must have spotted them and is ordering his troops to fire.

PC 1: "I fly over to the officer, and take his helmet."

DM (Me): "That will require a melee touch attack, you do know what that means, right?"

PC 1: "Yep"

DM: "You Suuuuuure?"

PC 1: "Just roll"

PC rolls a natural 1 on the melee touch attack. However because she attacked the invisibility immediatly wears off. About 20 of the soldiers on duty immediatly see their foe and open fire with their aquebuses. PC 1 is in the air, with no place to hide, and is now at the bottom of the initiative list. She gets cut down like a duck at an NRA hunting trip.

 

[Richards]

I had the local dwarven "boogeyman" (a creature believed just to be a made-up monster to frighten young dwarven boys) show up at the end of a dungeon crawl. The party - mostly dwarven - had taken a real beating in the dungeon and wanted nothing more than to head back home and rest up. Unfortunately, waiting there for them at the only exit from the dungeon, is their childhood boogeyman in all his glory...

...Big Irv, the Ogre Perv.

The players couldn't decide what was the more frightening: the fishnet stockings and ogre-sized high heel pumps, the skimpy black leather G-string, the protruding hairy belly, the nipple rings, or the poorly-applied red lipstick and light blue eye shadow. Of course, that was before Big Irv licked his lips in what he considered a seductive manner and announced he was "hungry" for some "delicious dwarf-meat."

My players still don't like being reminded of that story.

Johnathan

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

I seem to remember a Gnome Druid NPC at one point....named Teran Earthlover.

...my PCs smacked me for that one.

 

[der_kluge]

Well, this game hasn't occurred yet, and it's meant in all absolutel seriousness, but I just statted out a monster.

Titanic Toad of Chaos

I worked up a "Creature of Chaos" template and applied to the Titanic Toad sample creature under the Titanic template in MM II.

Essentially, it's a regular toad who has eaten a shard of a piece of a dead god of chaos, who died millenia ago. Several such shards exist, and thus I've statted out

Monstrous Scorpion of Chaos, Colossal

I can't wait to see the look on my players' faces when the Titanic Toad of Chaos burps out 1d4 Red Slaad.


There was a SpellJammer game I ran (once) in college. I had this crazy plot where Elminster enlisted the aid of some PCs to go retrieve a new moon. You see, a Moon Dragon had eaten one of Toril's moons and it was started to have all kinds of crazy effects on the magic of the Realms. So, the party made 15th level characters (IIRC), and headed out in their spelljamming helm.

The party made it into outer space, and got attacked by something, I don't even remember what, but it must have had a lot of spellcasters in it, because I remember all kinds of crazy spell effects going on - illusions, Slaad showed up at some point, and began summoning other Slaad, and there was some some mud encircling the hull of the ship - rotating in the weird gravitational flow of the ship. It was all such a bizarre scene that one of the players nearly hyperventilated from laughing so hard. We had to stop.

 

[ForceUser]

One time in an old serious campaign, as a little side vignette I made my group go up against a BBEG called "Echo" who commanded a whole tribe of wererabbits. That's right, they had to fight Echo and the Bunnymen.

LMAO!