Silly Monsters

[RSKennan]

I've never really seen the gelatinous cube as silly. Essentially, it's a viscous ooze, that likely gets its shape from rubbing up against walls to feed on organic matter like fungi, algea, or small vermin. Maybe after a while the feeding surface gets a bit irritated, and temporarily loses its ability to passively take in nutrients -thickening like the skin on jello-, and the cube has to turn over to expose a new side, or simply start feeding with another face.

Granted, that explanation means that only the ones that come to inhabit artifical structures would be actual cubes, but I can live with that.

 

[Bran Blackbyrd]

Tojanida.
I mean come on, really, what the ^@&* is a Tojanida?!
I imagine it's mentioned somewhere in the Gamera song...

The Tojanida is part of a new family of creatures in 3rd Edition that I find stupid and worthless. They write a bunch of body parts on cards, throw them in a hat and then pull out a few cards. Invariably we get the tentacle monster.
How many tentacle monsters do we really need?
The Epic Level Handbook should have been named The Tentacle Handbook. If you took all of the "hideous, misshapen thing" type monsters out of that book what would be left could be given away in pamphlets at the aiport. *

I'm expecting stats for an anime schoolgirl in MM3; they've been leading up to it since 2000.

*Mmmmm hyperbole.

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

Half-dragons! Dragons are insatiable, and will mate with anything from gelatinous cubes to dolphins! Try not to think of the biological and physical mechanics behind that. One of these days I'm going to post a half-red dragon/half-copper creeping coins (monster from Angband) to show just how stupid that template is!

It's even worse when the dragon parent is a good-aligned dragon. Now you know it was by choice, so how does a silver dragon seduce a gelatinous cube?

 

[Deadguy]

It's even worse when the dragon parent is a good-aligned dragon. Now you know it was by choice, so how does a silver dragon seduce a gelatinous cube?

That's what a Charisma 30 means! Even mindless oozes are swayed by your smooth words!

 

[Gomez]

Tojanida.
I mean come on, really, what the ^@&* is a Tojanida?!
I imagine it's mentioned somewhere in the Gamera song...

Yep your right here are three differnent Gamera Songs and Tojanida is in all of them.


Gamera Song from MS3K
Gamera! Gamera!
Gamera is really neat.
Gamera is filled with meat.
We've been eating Gamera!
Shell
Teeth
Eyes
Flames
Claws
Breath
Tojanida
Scales
Fun!


Gamera vs Guiron:
Gamera!
Gamera!
You are mighty, Gamera!
You are mighty, Gamera!
You are mighty, Gamera!
Sun, Moon, Mars, Mercury
Juptier, Mars or Venus
Or any planet at all
Come out space monster, Tojanida!
It slashes! It pierces! Go go go!
Use your jet propulshion
And deliver a body blow!
You are mighty, Gamera!
You are mighty, Gamera!
You are mighty, Gamera!


Gamera vs Jiga:
Gamera!
Gamera!
You're so groovy, Gamera!
You're so groovy, Gamera!
You are groovy, Gamera!
Sun, Moon, Mars Mercury
There's a big monster headed our way named Tojanida
Coming out of deep freeze
Whether we like it or not
Here it comes, flying down
Go! Go! Go!
Down it with jet flame
Groovy, groovy Gamera!
Groovy, groovy Gamera!
You are groovy, Gamera!


Gamera Fighting a Tojandia

 

[demiurge1138]

Unfortunately, that picture of Legion really doesn't look like a tojanda at all...

I can (sorta) defend rust monsters. All they'd need is a really high birth rate, and they could be common wherever there's metal in abundance. They'd be tough to poison, because it's hard to poison metal, and most weapons just dissolve on contact with their skin. Just because, say, pigeons and rats are nuisances and fairly harmless doesn't mean they've been hunted to extinction (although we've certainly tried).

Demiurge out.

 

[Orius]

Add a vote for flumph.

And I have used them as a DM. I had this orc shaman or something that had a trio of charmed flumph slaves he used to attack the PCs. I wanted to hurt the PCs badly with the flumphs, you know for the shock value and all, but unfortunately the didn't get hurt much.

 

[Orius]

Seriously, though, I love gelationous cubes. It's a classic D&D monster, right up there with beholders and displacer beasts.

Truely. It's one of my favorite monsters. I always try to sqeeze one into a dungeon.

 

[Orius]

I hate them almost as much as I hate the deadly room furnishing monsters. Innocent looking floor? Wrong, it's a trapper! Well, certainly the ceiling is safe. Wrong, it's a lurker above! Ooh, a chest! Wrong, it's a mimic! God, those were stupid monsters.

To make this complete, you need stunjelly walls.

 

[Doug McCrae]

A lot of good ones so far but I gotta go with the Tirapheg from the original Fiend Folio. Don't know if it's ever been brought back.

If memory serves it had three legs but only one had a foot. Three heads but two were featureless. The one in the middle had eyes I think. And it had two fingers coming out the front of its torso.