[Skortched Urf' Studios] Black Tokyo Released

[jezter6]

Ok, I'll say this one last time - The subject matter was not what gave this product a negative review. I may not care for Hentai, but I tried to glean value from what was presented.

The writing was less than spectacular, in fact, less than what I consider average.

The layout was way less than spectacular, in fact, it was almost horrible. It appears to be done in Word/Open Office, which to me is less than average. Average work assumes that tables look fairly pretty, are readable, and font doesn't switch randomly based on the font of the copy/paste done from the writer's notes into the final draft.

The document description listed it as a d20 modern setting. When I finally got to the end of the document where it discusses the Black Tokyo setting, I was disappointed in what was offered.

I also thought there were serious issues with the art direction of the product.

All these things are my opinion, which is the point of a review ... to give my opinion. I've seen enough reviews that tell you who the author was, and what the page count was, which has nothing to do with what you thought of the product.

Again, I did not have a problem with the subject matter. I may have been snarky on that, but I wanted people to know that it wasn't just a bit perverse, that there were seriously wierd things inside, things which the author ADMITS INSIDE THE BOOK is some 'sick s***.'

 

[jezter6]

I just went back and finally read the other 2 reviews, and honestly, I think we can see where the 3 of us all agree on most of the 'issues' with the product. I didn't see anything in there where anyone thought that 'Oh god, Hentai is teh pr0n.' Everyone seems to understand the basis of what the product is, and where the shortcoming lie.

I really respect Alzrius for his open and honest review even though he does do work for the company. I'll have to politely disagree with the art quality, and agree with one of the RPGNow reviewers in that it could have been better.

 

[mcathro]

Ok, I'll say this one last time - The subject matter was not what gave this product a negative review. I may not care for Hentai, but I tried to glean value from what was presented.

The writing was less than spectacular, in fact, less than what I consider average.

The layout was way less than spectacular, in fact, it was almost horrible. It appears to be done in Word/Open Office, which to me is less than average. Average work assumes that tables look fairly pretty, are readable, and font doesn't switch randomly based on the font of the copy/paste done from the writer's notes into the final draft.

The document description listed it as a d20 modern setting. When I finally got to the end of the document where it discusses the Black Tokyo setting, I was disappointed in what was offered.

I also thought there were serious issues with the art direction of the product.

All these things are my opinion, which is the point of a review ... to give my opinion. I've seen enough reviews that tell you who the author was, and what the page count was, which has nothing to do with what you thought of the product.

Again, I did not have a problem with the subject matter. I may have been snarky on that, but I wanted people to know that it wasn't just a bit perverse, that there were seriously wierd things inside, things which the author ADMITS INSIDE THE BOOK is some 'sick s***.'

I think many people are assuming that *any* negative review of this product just has to have something to do with the content. Your post above does an excellent job of stating what you feel is wrong with Black Tokyo, without any real content-related bias. Your points are valid; you make a good case and back up why you feel the way you do. For example, you say the layout was "Horrible", and proceed to say just why you find it so. (Since I did the layout, this one hurts the most! ) In fact, I really do appreciate your criticisms and will use them to improve my work going forward.

 

[jezter6]

Criticism is not meant to make people happy. I'm glad that this refresher helped you understand my point of view a little bit better. I still think that magic dildos are a bit too much for my tastes, but for the most part attempted to leave it behind and focus on the product.

While I have not purchased anything from you in the past, I will certainly not let this be my end-all of looking at your stuff. However, I will try to look into a few cheaper ones to see how things have progressed before going after another $10+ book.

I may have been harsh, but as I said earlier - it's really the cost of the book that dictates the level of which it is judged (at least when I'm doing the judging). I honestly think that, while at close to 200 pages, this book might be better at half the cost.

I would much rather see this split out into 2 products than one. I would rather see the Hentai SRD as it's called - alone with it's discussion on lolicon, feats, classes, magic items, etc. Then I'd like to see Black Tokyo, a distinct product of more than 7.5 pages that really goes into the setting.

If each one of those were split off at half the cost, I would have ignored the Hentai SRD and the artwork and layout that went with it. I would have bought Black Tokyo as a setting that had a little too much extra tentacle rape in it for my taste and probably just took little bits out, or just ignored it and moved on. However, at a big product with a decent sized pricetag, (again, seeing what other products are about $12 that I was going to buy this month) it was up against some stiff competition and had to be judged as such.

 

[pnakotus]

If you bought this book, email the vendor and ask for a refund.

It violates the D20 system license in numerous ways. (Failure to display mandatory trademarks, violation of quality standards, using the trademark 'D20 Modern' in the text of the book and in advertising material while not following the terms of the license.) A poster on the Skortched Urf blog pointed this out; the only answer he got was a claim by the company that this is an OGL book, not a D20 book. This is not true. My copy says clearly that it is released under the D20 license on the first page; furthermore OGL products are not allowed to be advertised as "a D20 Modern setting" by their license, as this one is.

RPGnow promptly refunded my money when I mentioned these concerns to them.

Beyond the legal issues, the book suffers from a number of other serious problems:

• Numerous errors in the text.
• Poorly balanced rules. (Example: Impregnate a woman remotely by masturbating with her panties and then mind control her with no save: 3 feats.)
• It's ridiculous. Not erotic, not horrific, just silly. (Example: Feces armour, giving birth to bears as a combat feat.)
• Precious little of the material in the book is Japanese. Most of it was invented whole cloth by the American writer. The book does not use common terms that would be familiar to anyone who had researched the subject, or uses them incorrectly, and at times it uses clumsy neoligisms in their place. (Example: Hentai no Judo. Bishonen/Bishojou Hermaph; correct term is Futanari.)
• Criticisms of the book's layout and art are responded to by the publishers complaining that they're a small company and cannot produce a professionally illustrated and typeset PDF.
• Criticisms of the book's content are responded to by the publishers claiming that the critic is simply offended by sexual material, and that the book is too edgy for them to appreciate. Together with the previous problem, this renders the publisher not only incapable of producing a quality product, but similarly incapable of improving their product in response to customer feedback.

My advice to the writers is this:

1. Learn to read your licenses and comply with them.
2. No more excuses. All the tools you need to publish a quality PDF are available in open source or free versions. There are plenty of other RPG books you can look at for examples. Everything else is just a matter of taking the time to do the work. I know proofreading is boring, I know you want to publish and get on with the next project. As another poster said, if you want to charge professional prices you have to do professional work.
3. Either do research or write what you know. There's no excuse for coming up with a bunch of disgusting ideas and then blaming it on the Japanese because they kind of vaguely resemble the stuff you saw in Wicked City.
4. Your critics are not all prudes. Maybe your decision to devote several pages to the art of poop magic actually deserved all the derisive laughter and mockery it attracted.
5. Figure out your actual idea before you put pen to paper. If you want a sourcebook for running campaigns where players investigate horrible monsters and villains who violate women in grotesque and fatal ways, maybe you should spend more time on the setting and story ideas than on coming up with a lot of feats and prestige classes which are only suitable for NPCs in the first place.

 

[mcathro]

While it is true that the first version released did have the D20 license text included on the credits page accidentally (the D20 logo does not, and never has appeared in the product) it has been removed and does not appear in any current copies.

 

[pnakotus]

While it is true that the first version released did have the D20 text included on the cover page accidentally (the D20 logo does not, and never has appeared in the product) it has been removed and does not appear in any current copies.

That doesn't help, it just adds another violation to the list.

If you want to release it under the OGL as opposed to the D20 license then I believe you have to remove the references to D20 Modern (a Wizards trademark) on pages 2, 4, 26, 69, 78, 107, 109, 126, 131, and in all advertising material, such as the RPGNow page on which you are selling it.

Look at the BoEF for an example of how to release a sex supplement under the OGL without violating the D20 license.

 

[pnakotus4]

From the skortched urf site:

Wow, Black Tokyo is still getting people riled up. I had a person (from Amsterdam) post several comments to this Blog calling me an "idiot" and "insanely stupid" among other things, who is apparently upset that I didn’t let those comments get posted. So he has signed up over at ENWorld just so he could post bad things about Black Tokyo and Skortched Urf Studios while encouraging everyone to ask for a refund! According to him we are "incapable of producing a quality product". (Despite the numerous five-star reviewed products we currently have out there; many of them written by the same author as Black Tokyo.)

I have acknowledged several of the faults Black Tokyo has, but at the end of the day NONE of our other products has generated such a heated response. Am I really expected to believe that all of this criticism is because of some layout and font issues? I put an very clear disclaimer on this product:

I can’t say I wasn’t expecting some blowback from this release. I am a big boy, and I can handle the criticisms.

I don't think you can. You're becoming paranoid and assuming that everyone who points out your mistakes is the same person. Of course on the internet you cannot tell, but that only makes it more important not to jump to conclusions.

There are two comments on your blog, I shall reproduce them here:

Lazarus Says:

From the D20 system trademark guide:

"Sexual Themes [...] not acceptable. While sensuality and sexuality may appear in a Covered Product, it must not be the focus nor can it be salacious in nature."

You dumb bastards.

skortched urf studios Says:

We are not using the D20 System Logo anywhere in the Black Tokyo product, as such the terms of the D20 System Trademark Guide do not apply to an OGL release. But thanks for your comments just the same!

-The Poor Dumb Bastards

So he claimed you were in violation of the D20 license (you are.) You deny releasing the game under that license, (you did, I can post the first page of my copy.) You mention that you've deleted his posts, and he's upset about it, yes?

So, are we to conclude that in his subsequent posts he called you on this, and you started deleting his then because you no longer had a pithy answer - and then went and quietly removed the D20 license text from the published PDF? I also notice you mentioned my review, but didn't provide a link to it. You're a lot more comfortable when the audience can only see your side of the debate, aren't you?

You see, it's this sort of unprofessional behaviour that gets people riled up. Getting angry instead of grateful when people point out your mistakes, concealing them instead of admitting and fixing them.

As for my criticisms, are they down to a few font issues? No, I've roundly criticised every part of the book, from the game systems to the juvenile content to the lack of proofreading. And yet, you continue to repeat the mantra that anyone who doesn't like your book didn't read the disclaimer and is simply offended by the existence of a game with sexual content.

And as for appealing to your other five star products, I'm afraid you can't have it both ways. Either you're a small company who can't be expected to publish things according to professional standards, or you've produced many professional products in the past - in which case you merely have no excuse for failing to do so this time.

 

[Piratecat]

Pnakotus,

Do not incite cross-board arguments or pick a fight. You have problems with the book; that's fine, and you've pointed them out. That will need to do.

Feel free to email me if you wish to discuss this.

Back on topic, folks.

 

[pnakotus4]

Pnakotus,

Do not incite cross-board arguments or pick a fight. You have problems with the book; that's fine, and you've pointed them out. That will need to do.

Feel free to email me if you wish to discuss this.

Back on topic, folks.

I have kept the discussion entirely within this thread and not posted it to other boards; I have no control over where Skortched Urf employees choose to post. I've been accused of various things and I've answered those accusations critically but without rudeness or name-calling. I have said my piece, and as you say, that's fine.

Which leads me to wonder why you found it necessary to comment on it. Perhaps you received a complaint? In any case, I appreciate your offer to discuss the matter by email, but I will not take you up on it. If you want me to refrain from further criticism of this product then you will have to tell me so publicly.