Small Acts of DM Cruelty

[Varianor Abroad]

Bard player, calling to cowering and defeated priest.

"How do we defeat that thing?"

"You fools attacked before we could complete the bargain! Your own fate is sealed now unless you command it in to perform the Dance of Untasted Flesh!"

"Is there a particular tune to that? Or will any dance do?"

"Anything."

Bard starts playing tune. Horrible creature attacks bard. Priest scurries away on hands and knees.

What small, mean and nasty things have you done to a player lately?

 

[Crothian]

Nothing yet, but I've got some great ones planned and hopefully we can get to them this Thursday.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

This was several years ago, but I had a player who ran a ranger. His favored enemy were trolls, and boasted about this all the time. So I gave him a +2 sword, +5 flametongue vs. trolls. He NEVER caught on that it also had an enchantment which drew every troll w/in a 1 mile radius directly to him.

I also had a party attacked by trolls that leapt down on them from above while they were traveling along a narrow mountain ledge. The trolls, knowing they would regenerate, would grapple the PC's and throw themselves off the precipice. I was called a bastard many times during that encounter.

 

[GlassJaw]

Bard starts playing tune. Horrible creature attacks bard. Priest scurries away on hands and knees.

I guess the bard should have asked the creature if it had any requests.

 

[carpedavid]

In one particular dungeon, the party spotted a group of kobolds in a room at the end of a hallway at the same time the kobolds spotted them. The rogue in the party was at the head of the line and at the top of the initiative order, so she tumbled through the open door, past a kobold guard, and into the middle of the room, fully expecting the rest of the party to follow her through.

Unfortunatly, the kobold guard had the next highest initiative. Instead of attacking, he calmly turned, then shut and locked the door.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

I was once asked to DM for a couple of guys who, through a mutual friend, claimed they could not be outsmarted by any DM anywhere. In the first 10 minutes of the game (a by the numbers dungeon crawl) the wizard had an arm nearly severed trying to retrieve a jewel hilted dagger at the bottom of a sewer grate. After getting some healing laid on him, he tries again... with the same results.

The other guy, playing a thief, never even bothered to check for or disarm the trap. A few minutes later, I describe a block of stone at the base of the wall that looks subtly different than the others. The thief removes the stone, revealing a opening just barely large enough to allow a man to enter, as long as he lay flat on his stomach or back and inch forward at a very slow pace. The light of his torch showed him dozens of red and glittering gems inside the passage.

So, LEAVING his torch outside the opening, he crawls inside. 7 feet inside the passage, he triggers a pressure plate that lowers a metal grate behind him. Unable to retreat, move forward, or fight, he was eaten alive by rats.

Less than one hour into the game, these two guys storm out of the house without a word.

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

Did that just last week.

A while ago, the Gnoll Druid found a belt that allowed him to do Stinking Cloud 3/day. It also eliminated the need for him, to, ummmm. Use the facilities so to speak.

What he didn't know was that the belt didn't really remove the need to go potty, it just stored the 'waste material' in an extra-dimensional space. Sort of like an infinitely long large intestine.

Then, last week the gnoll finally took the belt off, several months of game time. Once the belt comes off (or enters an anti-magic field), the infinte colon becomes VERY finite.

In effect, six months of complete constipation suddenly came to an unstoppable end. The gnoll became 'indisposed' for a few hours.

I still don't think he's walking quite right.

 

[Crothian]

I guess the closest we have is also a belt, a cursed belt. THe thing is thew belt is very useful and the player is thinking he can live with the problems becasue the benifit right now kinda out weights the negatives.

 

[the Jester]

Hehehe... my favorite ever was the ring of power. No connection to the One Ring in LotR.

This was in 2e. The pcs found a powerful artifact ring. It could cast wildfire at will- this was a 9th level wild magic spell similar in scope to a wish. It could do damn near anything.

The catch?

When you activated it, it permanently drained one point from every one of your stats (str, dex, con, int, wis and cha). Moreover, it did the same thing when you put it on. So once you had it on, you were very reluctant to remove it or to use it.

Worse yet, in 2e your stats didn't give many bonuses until about a 15. So after using said ring a couple of times, you had become fairly... mediocre. And the temptation to use it more and more grew greater and greater.

Best 'power corrupts' thing I've ever seen in-game.

 

[Immak Antunel]

The rogue in my game recently decided that he wants a pony... in the underdark...

I've decided that it's actually an imp in alternate form, using suggestion to subtly influence the rogue towards the service of Dispater. Hilarity shall eventually ensue...