Firefly:
Inara needs to go to one of the Core Worlds for her regular "re-registration physical." While there and waiting for Inara, Captain Mal gives strict orders no one else is to leave the ship.
River tries to skewer Jayne for a sarcastic remark he gave Simon, and Mal as a result has River confined to quarters.
While Inara is gone, Simon wishes to hire the crew for a HIGHLY ILLEGAL job on the core world - if they help him smuggle River and himself into the largest hospital there, so that he may use their super-duper-top-notch-medical scanners on her, then he will tell them how to raid the medical supply stocks in the hospital for the most valuable stuff, and return safely.
A montage ensues, in which Captain Mal, Zoe and Simon get intensive Bluff training on how to be paramedics, and Wash and Kaylee build a flying paramedic cruiser from scratch, using spit, bailing wire, lots of paint, and a core worlds junk yard. Jayne has to train three times as hard as Mal and Zoe, and can never seem to get it right. ("We tried to apply the cortical stimulants and the neural leads, but.... wait, I'll get it...") Simon give them a cheat sheet of the most expensive black market crap to get, and after putting River and Simon into a cataleptic state with a drug, they are off.
Finally, they are ready with their EMS uniforms and they fly into the hospital checkpoints. Mal has a brief conversation with Jayne about how he wants NO trouble between him and River. He swears he has no beef with her, and seemingly, that is that. They gear up for their big bluff to wheel the "bodies" to the morgue - and the on-call desk nurse just shuttles them past without a second glance.
Jayne just HAS to throw his line in anyway, because, darn it, he worked on it, and he's gonna USE it!!!
Inside the hospital, Mal and Zoe administer the wake-up drugs to Simon and River, and take off for the drug stocks. Simon, River, and Jayne head for the high-dollar med scanner. Jayne breaks away briefly to
phone the darned alliance police and verify the huge reward he will be getting.
On the way to the scanner, the Doc stops to save a patient that a first year med student blatantly screws up on, and almost kills. Big production of futuristic medical panels here. Not the smartest thing, but Simon's convictions really show through here, and River looks prouder of him than a mother of her star son.
Mal and Zoe are accosted by a doctor on the way, who imperiously orders them around. Just as their cover looks close to being blown, Zoe sneaks up behind him and shocks the doctor with a futuristic pair of heart stimulant paddles. "Clear."
Simon, River, Jayne have made it to the medical scanner, and scan River. The alliance has lobotomized River, such that she MUST FEEL every emotion - she cannot "put away" an emotion if she can't deal with it - she is forced to feel every single fear impulse or joy impulse at that time it comes up.
No wonder she has half a bag of marbles!
Jayne hurries them up and leaves the medical center, telling them both the plan has changed. Jayne walks them RIGHT into an alliance trap out the back door. Jayne instead of being rewarded, is arrested.
More later...
Then I wouldn't care if I miss a lot of episodes.
