Ankh-Morpork Guard
First Post
Chapter 531: Potential
Considering the fact that Tobias had only been gone for a matter of hours, it took a while to actually explain everything that had happened on Thyferra. This was partly due to the fact that he made sure to include every single little detail he could remember, partly due to long pauses as he remembered the events, but mostly due to the slow, stuttering and still slightly panicked voice that Tobias was speaking in.
When it had become obvious that at least some of his discomfort was due to the handful of others within the medical ward who were paying the currently-Alraxian Tobias a little too much attention, Master Ral shocked him by casually getting to his feet and suggesting they find a place with less people...such as his ship, to discuss the rest of the events. And then, finally, Tobias was able to deliver at least some good news. Namely, that while Master Ral obviously didn’t remember that his ship had been destroyed in the escape from the Vong ship during the battle, Venda’s ship was still in tact and, amazingly enough, had actually been returned from Thyferra along with the X-Wings that the Zephyr pilots had.
So, after a short trip to the hangar and settling into the cockpit of Venda’s rather boring looking shuttle, Tobias tried to continue with less stuttering and more actual sentences. It was easier said than done, but an hour after he’d started explaining the events, Tobias finally finished.
It didn’t help that Master Ral sat in the pilot’s chair in silence for at least five minutes. This forced Tobias to just sit there awkwardly staring at the consoles around him, which just made him feel worse...
How the hell did they fit an X-Wing into that shuttle?
Can’t believe that damned squid-head got promoted before me...
I wonder if the chief would kill me if ducked out early tonight.
“It only occurs when you are not focused on something else, yes?” Master Ral’s cool voice cut away the others, causing Tobias’ eyes to jump open as he looked up in surprise.
Quickly nodding, Tobias waved a hand out the viewport to what they could see of the Mon Calamari cruiser’s hangar, “Comes and goes and comes back again.”
For a few moments, the Omwati Jedi Master’s white eyebrows seemed to angle downwards over his small eyes, but then they went to a more neutral shape, “When, exactly, did it start?”
“I...” Tobias trailed off, glanced out the viewport again to see an X-Wing being pulled to the opposite end of the hangar, then looked back to his Master, “After Tokarr was killed and Rea and the others came over to see what had happened.”
When he said that, something dawned on Tobias. Before Master Ral could say anything, Tobias quickly asked, “Could it be some kind of...of reaction to that? I’ve been kind of...kind of...off since then and...could that mean something?”
It was at that point that Master Ral’s face formed into a more serious expression again, which concerned Tobias. Of course, his concern grew when Master Ral spoke, “You are still very young, Tobias, and you still have much to learn. I do have an idea that may answer why this has happened, but it may not be very comforting to hear. It can, however, be solved without understand the why, which is rare.”
Already knowing what his Master was about to ask, Tobias immediately jumped in, “I want to know why.”
Through the Force, Tobias felt a slight fluctuation from the Jedi Master that could very well have been a sign that the Omwati was going to smile. However, there was nothing on Master Ral’s blue-skinned face to show anything similar to a smile, and the voice that spoke was the same cool, almost hauntingly calm voice that Master Ral always spoke in, “You are very strong in the Force, Tobias. You have the potential to be as great a Jedi as Master Skywalker. But your emotions control you. You have a noble drive, but your emotions are so strong that they dictate your actions completely. You do not seem to have any desire to take hold of them, either.”
For the first time, there was a visible change in Master Ral. He let out a low sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. The Force concentrated again, and Tobias realized that his Master was healing himself still. The strain passed, but Master Ral was still looking downwards when he spoke again, “Like every young apprentice, you expected it to be easy. But you are not adapting like most do. You are so latched onto your emotions that they will harm you in ways you cannot imagine if it continues,” Master Ral looked up to look Tobias straight in the eyes again, “I made a mistake to bring you to the front lines of this war. It is not your fault that you have never seen what happens in a place like this. But you were not ready. Ever since that man on the Vong ship, you have been close to a dangerous edge. By your own admission, you were not going to kill Tokarr. You stopped yourself more than once and were looking for a way to bring him back alive.
“But then he was shot and killed by no fault of your own. Tokarr died, the very thing you were trying to prevent. And ever since that moment, you have been hearing the thoughts of those around you.”
Again, Master Ral paused. It was unnerving, and Tobias wanted to say something, anything, but he couldn’t. His mouth wouldn’t even open to attempt to make a noise. He just sat there staring at his Master, feeling terrible at having to hear what he knew was true. He’d thought he had pushed through the problems after facing Halpak. But that was naive. Tobias should have known that all his problems wouldn’t be solved in one moment, no matter how difficult it was. There was a reason Jedi trained for years.
“Unconsciously, you are trying to prevent such a thing from happening again,” hearing Master Ral’s voice again was so sudden that Tobias nearly jumped out of his seat, “By hearing the thoughts of those around you, even just those on the surface, theoretically you can prevent them from harming one another. At your core, that is what you want to do...protect. But it is triggered by a strong emotion. Fear. And fear is dangerous. Fear can turn your wish to protect into something else entirely. Control your fear. Do not let it control you. When you can do that, you will stop hearing the thoughts of others.”
“But...”
“No,” the usually cool voice of Master Ral became sharp and extremely hard all of a sudden, “There is no but. There is no if. There is no try. There is when. If you cannot do this, I cannot train you for your own safety. If you are going to argue about it being hard, I will not train you. If you lie to me and tell me that you can do it, I will know that and I will not train you. If you do anything this moment other than tell me the truth, that you can control your fear and your emotions, that you can be a Jedi, a real Jedi, then I will not train you any longer.”
The cockpit of Venda’s small shuttle went silent.
In the cold, empty air, Tobias stared with wide eyes at Master Corentan Ral, shocked at what he had just heard. But some part of him, some sane part that was left, began to dig deep. It did exactly what needed to be done, and found the answer. And then, taking hold of his body, Tobias’ mind answered a question that hadn’t really been a question.
“I can.”
And then Master Ral smiled.
With some obvious strain in the movement, the Jedi Master reached out and put a hand on Tobias’ shoulder, “It isn’t going to get any easier, but I am glad to see that you know you can do it.”
It was hard not to smile when the entire air around Tobias was suddenly so...calming and warm. So, without even really fighting it, Tobias grinned. But now, when confronted with a moment when his future wasn’t really on the line, he couldn’t find anything to say.
This became obvious to Master Ral, who patted Tobias on the shoulder before sitting back in the pilot’s chair again, “I want you to meditate right now. Clear your mind of all those voices until you no longer have to focus on it. I’m going to check on Venda and get us ready to head back to the Academy.”
Tobias still said nothing, not really sure what he could say about Venda after what had happened on Thyferra. And besides, Master Ral had given him a task to do...something that Tobias knew he needed to start right away.
What he didn’t know, however, was the significance of something that Master Ral had told him. Tobias had the potential to be as strong as Master Skywalker. It wasn’t an exaggeration or something told just to get Tobias’ attention, it was the truth. The fact that Tobias could so easily pick up the thoughts of those around him was an absolutely amazing feat, something that even Master Ral knew he could not achieve. His natural ability was beyond anything Master Ral had ever seen.
There was a reason for that. Of course, that was something Master Ral didn’t know. Tobias was the first child in the history of the Alraxians born from two Tam’Day’U parents. One of them may have been a clone, and the other absolutely insane, but they were still Tam’Day’U. Raw talent with the Force was expected from such a child, and considering the fact that Master Ral knew none of this, he had at least identified that Tobias had a great amount of innate talent.
There was no so thing as coincidence according to both the Jedi and Marix BlueIce. And so, it couldn’t have been a coincidence that the Jedi Master that had taken on Tobias as an apprentice was both intelligent and attentive enough to recognize the boy’s strength in the Force...which could very easily turn into something extremely dangerous. Perhaps, despite all the worry about what would happen if Tobias was allowed to be trained, the Force really was looking out for him.
Considering the fact that Tobias had only been gone for a matter of hours, it took a while to actually explain everything that had happened on Thyferra. This was partly due to the fact that he made sure to include every single little detail he could remember, partly due to long pauses as he remembered the events, but mostly due to the slow, stuttering and still slightly panicked voice that Tobias was speaking in.
When it had become obvious that at least some of his discomfort was due to the handful of others within the medical ward who were paying the currently-Alraxian Tobias a little too much attention, Master Ral shocked him by casually getting to his feet and suggesting they find a place with less people...such as his ship, to discuss the rest of the events. And then, finally, Tobias was able to deliver at least some good news. Namely, that while Master Ral obviously didn’t remember that his ship had been destroyed in the escape from the Vong ship during the battle, Venda’s ship was still in tact and, amazingly enough, had actually been returned from Thyferra along with the X-Wings that the Zephyr pilots had.
So, after a short trip to the hangar and settling into the cockpit of Venda’s rather boring looking shuttle, Tobias tried to continue with less stuttering and more actual sentences. It was easier said than done, but an hour after he’d started explaining the events, Tobias finally finished.
It didn’t help that Master Ral sat in the pilot’s chair in silence for at least five minutes. This forced Tobias to just sit there awkwardly staring at the consoles around him, which just made him feel worse...
How the hell did they fit an X-Wing into that shuttle?
Can’t believe that damned squid-head got promoted before me...
I wonder if the chief would kill me if ducked out early tonight.
“It only occurs when you are not focused on something else, yes?” Master Ral’s cool voice cut away the others, causing Tobias’ eyes to jump open as he looked up in surprise.
Quickly nodding, Tobias waved a hand out the viewport to what they could see of the Mon Calamari cruiser’s hangar, “Comes and goes and comes back again.”
For a few moments, the Omwati Jedi Master’s white eyebrows seemed to angle downwards over his small eyes, but then they went to a more neutral shape, “When, exactly, did it start?”
“I...” Tobias trailed off, glanced out the viewport again to see an X-Wing being pulled to the opposite end of the hangar, then looked back to his Master, “After Tokarr was killed and Rea and the others came over to see what had happened.”
When he said that, something dawned on Tobias. Before Master Ral could say anything, Tobias quickly asked, “Could it be some kind of...of reaction to that? I’ve been kind of...kind of...off since then and...could that mean something?”
It was at that point that Master Ral’s face formed into a more serious expression again, which concerned Tobias. Of course, his concern grew when Master Ral spoke, “You are still very young, Tobias, and you still have much to learn. I do have an idea that may answer why this has happened, but it may not be very comforting to hear. It can, however, be solved without understand the why, which is rare.”
Already knowing what his Master was about to ask, Tobias immediately jumped in, “I want to know why.”
Through the Force, Tobias felt a slight fluctuation from the Jedi Master that could very well have been a sign that the Omwati was going to smile. However, there was nothing on Master Ral’s blue-skinned face to show anything similar to a smile, and the voice that spoke was the same cool, almost hauntingly calm voice that Master Ral always spoke in, “You are very strong in the Force, Tobias. You have the potential to be as great a Jedi as Master Skywalker. But your emotions control you. You have a noble drive, but your emotions are so strong that they dictate your actions completely. You do not seem to have any desire to take hold of them, either.”
For the first time, there was a visible change in Master Ral. He let out a low sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. The Force concentrated again, and Tobias realized that his Master was healing himself still. The strain passed, but Master Ral was still looking downwards when he spoke again, “Like every young apprentice, you expected it to be easy. But you are not adapting like most do. You are so latched onto your emotions that they will harm you in ways you cannot imagine if it continues,” Master Ral looked up to look Tobias straight in the eyes again, “I made a mistake to bring you to the front lines of this war. It is not your fault that you have never seen what happens in a place like this. But you were not ready. Ever since that man on the Vong ship, you have been close to a dangerous edge. By your own admission, you were not going to kill Tokarr. You stopped yourself more than once and were looking for a way to bring him back alive.
“But then he was shot and killed by no fault of your own. Tokarr died, the very thing you were trying to prevent. And ever since that moment, you have been hearing the thoughts of those around you.”
Again, Master Ral paused. It was unnerving, and Tobias wanted to say something, anything, but he couldn’t. His mouth wouldn’t even open to attempt to make a noise. He just sat there staring at his Master, feeling terrible at having to hear what he knew was true. He’d thought he had pushed through the problems after facing Halpak. But that was naive. Tobias should have known that all his problems wouldn’t be solved in one moment, no matter how difficult it was. There was a reason Jedi trained for years.
“Unconsciously, you are trying to prevent such a thing from happening again,” hearing Master Ral’s voice again was so sudden that Tobias nearly jumped out of his seat, “By hearing the thoughts of those around you, even just those on the surface, theoretically you can prevent them from harming one another. At your core, that is what you want to do...protect. But it is triggered by a strong emotion. Fear. And fear is dangerous. Fear can turn your wish to protect into something else entirely. Control your fear. Do not let it control you. When you can do that, you will stop hearing the thoughts of others.”
“But...”
“No,” the usually cool voice of Master Ral became sharp and extremely hard all of a sudden, “There is no but. There is no if. There is no try. There is when. If you cannot do this, I cannot train you for your own safety. If you are going to argue about it being hard, I will not train you. If you lie to me and tell me that you can do it, I will know that and I will not train you. If you do anything this moment other than tell me the truth, that you can control your fear and your emotions, that you can be a Jedi, a real Jedi, then I will not train you any longer.”
The cockpit of Venda’s small shuttle went silent.
In the cold, empty air, Tobias stared with wide eyes at Master Corentan Ral, shocked at what he had just heard. But some part of him, some sane part that was left, began to dig deep. It did exactly what needed to be done, and found the answer. And then, taking hold of his body, Tobias’ mind answered a question that hadn’t really been a question.
“I can.”
And then Master Ral smiled.
With some obvious strain in the movement, the Jedi Master reached out and put a hand on Tobias’ shoulder, “It isn’t going to get any easier, but I am glad to see that you know you can do it.”
It was hard not to smile when the entire air around Tobias was suddenly so...calming and warm. So, without even really fighting it, Tobias grinned. But now, when confronted with a moment when his future wasn’t really on the line, he couldn’t find anything to say.
This became obvious to Master Ral, who patted Tobias on the shoulder before sitting back in the pilot’s chair again, “I want you to meditate right now. Clear your mind of all those voices until you no longer have to focus on it. I’m going to check on Venda and get us ready to head back to the Academy.”
Tobias still said nothing, not really sure what he could say about Venda after what had happened on Thyferra. And besides, Master Ral had given him a task to do...something that Tobias knew he needed to start right away.
What he didn’t know, however, was the significance of something that Master Ral had told him. Tobias had the potential to be as strong as Master Skywalker. It wasn’t an exaggeration or something told just to get Tobias’ attention, it was the truth. The fact that Tobias could so easily pick up the thoughts of those around him was an absolutely amazing feat, something that even Master Ral knew he could not achieve. His natural ability was beyond anything Master Ral had ever seen.
There was a reason for that. Of course, that was something Master Ral didn’t know. Tobias was the first child in the history of the Alraxians born from two Tam’Day’U parents. One of them may have been a clone, and the other absolutely insane, but they were still Tam’Day’U. Raw talent with the Force was expected from such a child, and considering the fact that Master Ral knew none of this, he had at least identified that Tobias had a great amount of innate talent.
There was no so thing as coincidence according to both the Jedi and Marix BlueIce. And so, it couldn’t have been a coincidence that the Jedi Master that had taken on Tobias as an apprentice was both intelligent and attentive enough to recognize the boy’s strength in the Force...which could very easily turn into something extremely dangerous. Perhaps, despite all the worry about what would happen if Tobias was allowed to be trained, the Force really was looking out for him.