Star Wars: Heroes of Another Kind

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Chapter 105: Impossibilities

Jen took only one glance to the monstrous Landau, but found that she was unable to react. That part of her that had been growing was taking control, and finding a focus. This was not in a malevolent way, which both surprised and comforted Jen. She allowed this Shinai to take ‘control’ as it were, leaving Jen as more a passenger in her own body. Her voice was no longer her own, taking on an oddly ethereal quality as Jen found herself speaking words she’d never imagined before. Most of this was banter between Shinai and Sadrak, very snide and sarcastic, which Jen found funny. It was obvious that there was something between the two of them, and that this Shinai ‘woman’ (as far as Jen could figure) was not in a good mood.

Slowly, Jen raised her left hand, palm outward, to the robed Sadrak, “Why do you hide from view? Locked between life and death are you, Sadrak? Too stupid to completely die, but too cowardly to truly live?”

Again, Jen was laughing inside at those words. Shinai had a good point. Why WAS Sadrak hiding? She’d seen the hands...inhuman and almost insect like. Sadrak, though, did not feel amused. Odd that Jen noticed it that way. He seemed to radiate an aura of both annoyance and surprise. Though he earlier had seemed to have known that Shinai was ‘within’ Jen, it was becoming obvious that he wasn’t truly ready for it. His voice shaking just slightly, Sadrak snapped back, “Ha! Twice you have failed in your attempts to kill me! This time shall be no different, woman!”

Jen...er, Shinai, laughed, truly sounding amused by his words, “Now, now. I only failed once. The second time, this woman succeeded. You simply cheated fate.”

“And you have not?’ Sadrak again snapped back, though this time he actually took a very small step backwards, It was only noticeable in a small reversed swish of the heavy cloth.

Jen’s face formed a devious smile, “It is the will of the Force that I survive in this woman. It seems that she was fated to assist me in dealing with you once and for all. We have both failed once. Together, we shall not fail again.”

Strangely, Jen found herself actually helping to ‘speak’ those last words. Perhaps it was because she was starting to get a small picture of the true events. Not only from the words of the two, but from a few images of ideas that Shinai had fed to her. From what Jen could tell, Shinai had escaped the Jedi Purge as a child, grown, and by a series of events driven into conflict with Sadrak. She had killed him...or tried. Instead, he had taken her life. Or at least, Sadrak had assumed that. In fact, he had only taken her body, with Shinai’s true spirit merging with the Force itself until the time was right. And it seemed that this time came through in Jen.

After Jen had connected these events to form a loose idea of what was going on around and within her, she suddenly realized that Sadrak had not responded. In fact, that aura of fear had grown, and he’d even taken another step back. That got a true smile to Jen’s face as she placed her foot on the first of those few steps up to his level next to the throne. With her hand still extended towards him, Jen noticed that there was a small light gathering within it. And then Shinai spoke through her again, “We can feel you are no longer human. Perhaps you will show us what kind of demon you have become?”

Shinai/Jen did not give Sadrak a chance to respond. Just as her words ended, a strong blast of light extended out from her outstretched hand. Sadrak let out a yell of surprise and at least some pain, then flailed about as the light consumed that pitch black robe that he wore. It was dissolved as if by an acid. Piece by piece, the black faded to reveal Sadrak’s body. He was gaunt, and almost stick-like. The long, three-clawed hands were matched by two similarly thin and also backwards bent clawed feet. His head was nearly human, almost a mockery of the species more than anything. As a whole, his body looked to be some horrible mix of a giant insect with a human figure. It also reminded Jen of those creatures that were fighting for him. Images created to look like him?

But Jen did not ask this, instead, she found herself laughing again. Shinai spoke through the laugh, “Amazing what you’ve done to stay alive! The Emperor would be proud to have such a creature in his entourage! I cannot help but asking though...where did you steal this body from, hm? Who was its owner before you killed them and took their body?”

The Force imbued those words so strongly that Sadrak could not stop himself from answering. It was hilarious to see him realize mid sentence that he’d started to speak and couldn’t stop. Also, it was funny to watch how his mouth opened in four direction to produce a sound so similar to his old voice yet not completely alien, “There was no mind! Simply an empty shell! I stole nothing but this body from Halpak!”

Why Shinai did not ask about that name, or even seem to hear Sadrak speak it, Jen had no idea of. She desperately wanted to ask who this Halpak was. More information. With such power in the Force she could ask any question and get an answer! This was what Voort and Akan could do! How did they stop themselves?! Jen could barely contain the excitement from this. Distantly, this caused a short worry for Shinai. She was, however, more focused on the current events. No more questions were asked, and instead she raised her other hand, speaking through Jen again, “You cannot run from me anymore. This Alderaanian woman is as strong as I was, and together you know you cannot fight us. Give in. Accept your fate and allow us both our final rest.”

“NO!” Sadrak suddenly cried out. At the same time, he seemed to fight back some invisible force holding him still and dove for Jen, those three claws extending out to rip her to pieces.

* * * *​

Come on, Akan! Wake up! Shadow’s inner voice called to that small spark of consciousness that was the last remaining piece of Akan in the galaxy. Despite constant prodding, she seemed to only be able to keep him aware enough to remain just barely separate from her. If only there was time to give him a body now! But there wasn’t. So she did what she could to try forcing him into the awkward form of ‘awake’ that he needed to rise into. If he didn’t, then he’d fade into her for good, two minds as one forever. But he fought. She could tell, somehow, that despite his ‘weak’ condition, he was trying. Of course, she had no idea how he felt. What was one to do when they realized they were just a voice in one’s head? At least he wasn’t awake enough for that yet...but he was going to have to be soon. Soon...everything soon.

Soon, she’d returned to that chamber, catching a half glance towards Jen, a blinding light exploding from the woman. This sent Landau, who had been sneaking up behind her, flying back towards Shadow. Perfect. Landau was getting to his feet when he saw that Shadow was returned. A deranged smile grew on that haunting face, and he started another approach towards her. Yet this time, something different happened. Something that broke the resolve Shadow had built up. Landau spoke.

“Kill me...”

It was forced, painfully forced. A scratchy whisper seeping out of an unmoving mouth as the monster came towards her. The words were the real Landau’s. Shadow could feel it. And it nearly brought tears to her eyes. No, it did. But she stopped them the only way she knew how. Shadow morphed. Keeping only a small part of her mind back to continually prod Akan, the rest of her focused on the task at hand. Currently, this was finding a way to stop those tears. To stop emotion. She knew of only one way. Only one morph that couldn’t cry. And at the same time, it was the one thing that should never, ever have been possible for any Alraxian.

Her form did not change. Her body did not grow or shrink. Instead, she remained Alraxian. Except that she no longer had flesh. No more bones. No more organic material. It was impossible by all Alraxian lore(except for one obscure prophecy that Shadow was not privy to), but standing in front of that huge Landau was a metal Alraxian. Through some strange force of will and fear, Shadow broke all the rules. Droids couldn’t cry. Droids couldn’t feel. Droids just were. And so, this metal Shadow just was, any emotional feelings and misgivings faded away into that tiny part of her keeping Akan alive.

Landau froze. Even a monster would be surprised by the new image. Her body was now shining like the well polished floor below them. Her eyes no longer held those silvery-purple eyes, instead they were just black, angular spots in the metallic head. Ears the same. Mouth, unmoving. A small open slit. If it had not been done in such a desperate fashion to hide tears and emotion, Shadow would have been amazed. But then again, such a thing was likely impossible in any other circumstance. Now, though, this droid watched Landau. The old friend. The enemy. He had asked for death. A final request. She would honor it.

Taking advantage of the momentary pause of Landau, Shadow attacked. For a droid, or anything of such metal construction, the movement was impossibly swift and clean. It was only a half second before her fist hit Landau, but this did not send him back. Instead, her stronger arm dug into him, probably close to reaching the other side and exiting. Landau tried hitting back, though that pained face looked like it was trying to fight the body. Landau’s punches and slams only dinted the strong metal. With another heavy punch, Landau was on his back. Shadow was right after him, the quick metal body pouncing and damaging the monster even more on landing. And then, in a swift motion that Shadow didn’t even see herself, Landau’s head was removed from his body. It could have been from her arm. It could have been from a lightsaber. It could have been anything. Perhaps it was good that she never truly saw or felt it. But she did notice that Landau’s mouth was half open, and he had been about to say something. She had cut him off. Literally. Her friend. The one human she’d called that for so many cycles. She’d killed him. Saved him. But it had killed him. What had she done?!

Droids didn’t cry. Droids didn’t feel. This one did. This one felt pain. This droid hurt. With a metallic and disturbingly almost-Shadow voice, the droid pounded its fists into the monstrous body below her, beating it into an unrecognizable mass of flesh and bone. Droids didn’t feel!! Droids didn’t cry!! Alraxians didn’t kill friends!! Her mind went crazy, wracked with pain and confusion and grief. This overloaded all of Shadow’s senses, and the metal boy fell to the side, hitting the polished floor with a loud, unearthly clank. Droids didn’t dream either.

This one did.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Chapter 106: Beginning of the End [No Foreshadowing Here...We Promise]

It was odd to feel no pain when injured. Jen knew that Sadrak’s claws had raked across her left side as she(well, technically it was Shinai) spun to the side. Despite this knowledge, and despite the fact that she even felt the claws themselves, there was no actual pain sensation. It was obvious that Shinai had done something to either divert or simply erase the feeling of pain that should have been there. Thankfully, Jen could not see the injury, so that even though she knew it was there intellectually, there was no literal way for her brain to interpret this as anything more than imagination.

All the while, though, Jen’s body was still moving with her as a passenger. Shinai had control, and currently, this didn’t bother Jen one bit. She wasn’t even sure her body was even capable of moving in the ways it was. Fluid and very quick turns and sidesteps at just the right moment. The first strike from Sadrak’s inhuman claw was the only one to land. From then on, each time the swipe was just barely off in time, so little that Jen could have sworn she’d been hit even without the feeling. Her mental questions to Shinai were unanswered, though considering how focused this ‘other’ within Jen’s mind was, it was no surprise.

Two more violent slashes were met with two simple steps from Jen’s body. Left. Right. Both also taking her back ever so slightly. But just enough that Jen caught on to what Shinai was doing. Shinai was not tiring Sadrak out. She was leading him. Back. Back to where? Another step back from a diving jab and Jen figured it out. She would have grinned if she’d had more control over her own body, but a mental grin was strangely satisfying. Though, honestly, everything was strange at this point.

But Jen was caught off guard when her body stopped moving. It took her a moment to realize that Sadrak had not followed his usual pattern of dive after thrust after swipe after dive. He’d stopped. Hunched down in a pose all too fitting for that insect-like body, Sadrak’s two large and alien eyes started up into hers. Studying. Searching. For what? He didn’t speak, but the oddly shaped mouth opened very slightly as if an attempt at some kind of taunt or even pleading would be made. No noise came out, though. Jen felt her body take a short step to the side, more shifting to stand up straight from Sadrak’s view. But for Jen, this confirmed her thoughts of what Shinai was doing.

It was in that frozen moment that Jen finally was able to take notice of the other two in the room. Off towards the entrance to the chamber, she saw Shadow. Or...no...it didn’t look like Shadow. The shape was right, as was the height. But Shadow was not a uniform shiny metallic silver. She also didn’t look like an Alraxian droid. What was that at her feet, though? A large, skeletal and monstrous body. It was somewhat similar to Sadrak’s, but more humanlike in appearance. It looked more like it was just larger and had extra, gaunt arms when compared to Sadrak’s completely alien body. There wasn’t time to truly study this, though, and Jen was rocketed back into the moment at the loud metal clang that echoed through the hall as Shadow’s body collapsed to the shining floor.

That sound was the trigger for everything. Before the loud sound had even finished its first short echo, Sadrak lunged. This time, Jen had no idea who moved her body. She had reacted naturally, feeling an odd pushing in her mind to just MOVE, and had done it. Or had Shinai just reacted? It didn’t matter. Not yet, at least. What did matter was the result. The movement to the side had not been nearly as fluid or closely timed with the attack as before. Instead, Jen was out of the way a good half second early. This gave Sadrak the chance to look surprised before he slammed head on with the heavy throne that Jen had been positioned in front of. The crash of Sadrak’s impact was nearly as loud as that of Shadow’s simply collapse.

A loud cry of pain and surprise sounded from Sadrak as he hit the ground, surrounded by the rubble of his large throne. From the sound of it, that thing was made of metal. It spoke a lot of Sadrak’s body(and skull) that he didn’t just bounce off and collapse in a heap of pain. And then, Jen found that she’d made that dodge all on her own(ignoring, of course, the assistance of the Force). This became suddenly obvious to her with the sight of a new figure within the room. Standing on the other side of Sadrak’s currently unmoving body, was an odd image that was made even worse by the fact that Jen immediately knew who it was. The figure was that of a young looking human woman. She had short hair and angular features to her face that somehow showed a strong, yet very kind woman. All of the colors were indistinct. Well, no, they were there. Instead, all of the colors faded to a soft blue that was also vaguely transparent in its nature.

“Shinai...” Jen said quietly, taking a couple of steps over towards the now ruined throne.

The image smiled warmly, an almost predatory look on the woman’s angular face, “I can do no more here. My time is over, and my task is done...” she paused, her soft and powerful voice echoing without really being effected by any actual laws of physics. When Shinai spoke again, her figure seemed to glide past Sadrak’s body to Jen, “You have great strength, but I cannot guide it. You were given your strength to do with as you will. Trust the Force. Trust yourself. Destiny is not set, as this wretched creature has proven. Never forget that.”

Jen opened her mouth to say something, but by the time the first words came out, the spirit had simply faded away. Both visually and in another way that Jen still wasn’t sure how to describe. It was the Force, obviously, but the word to use wasn’t something she knew of. But Jen didn’t dwell on this. This was still unfinished, and it had been left in her hands. In her trust. Jen stepped around the ruined throne to the body of Sadrak. He had moved now, only slightly. Just enough to be on his back, facing up at her as she approached. There was a feeble attempt to raise a clawed hand towards her, but Sadrak’s battered body could barely move. For a long, silent moment, Jen just looked down at him. Broken. Alien. He had become everything he had stood against as such a high ranking member of the Empire, and it was obvious that he hated it. Perhaps he should simply live to suffer like this, then?

“...mercy...”

The word came out slowly. The mouth had only half opened and Jen had not been sure she’d heard anything for a half second. The two alien eyes stared up towards hers, but Jen couldn’t read them. The black in black held no emotion. It was impossible to sympathize even with this broken and beaten wreck. And that word had just made it all worse. Mercy. So disgusting that this monster would ask for mercy after all he had done. Jen didn’t say anything. Her eyes showed no emotion. But she did move. Slowly, she knelt down next to the barely moving Sadrak, placing herself close to his face.

Again, Jen watched as Sadrak obviously hunted for some kind of emotion in her. Some kind of weakness to feed off of. Something. Anything. Anything so he could stay alive. Nothing was found. And even if he’d had more that half a minute, Sadrak would not have found anything. In a simple motion, Jen reached down and took hold of the monster’s head. No time was given for her to see a reaction from him. Quickly, violently, and coldly, Jen snapped his neck. The crack was loud in the silent chamber, echoing back and forth many times before finally fading into nothing.

Sadrak recieved no final scream. No final anything. He did not die a warrior. He did not die an Imperial. He did not even die a monster. He died a coward. This time, he did not escape fate. As Jen got to her feet, looking over towards where Shadow had fallen, the only ‘last’ that she felt Sadrak recieved was a pulse. It rocked through the Force very gently, outward from his body. What it meant, she didn’t know. She didn’t care. He was dead. Finally dead. And now...now they could leave this hell forever.

Or at least, that was the idea.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Chapter 107: The Cycle Goes On...

Through all of this, the chaos outside had not subsided. As was expected, the battle was not going well. The center group that Akan had left from was suffering the worst, its numbers down in the double digits and likely to be completely wiped out soon. This put Voort’s focus back on the center, trying to slow them down as much as possible. Once that group was down, there was an open pathway to his position, and also to surround the other two groups. As for them, it was going as well as could be expected. Voort had never found Hansen, but had at least taken down a considerable number of shots. The airspeeders were still doing a few strafing runs, but they were just as insignificant as the snipers were.

As Voort fired off two more shots over the shoulders of a few Topsiders, something odd happened. He sat up slightly to look across the other snipers on either side of him. None of them seemed to have noticed anything. Voort closed his eyes a moment, allowing his mind to flow out and find what that was...Jen? No. No...close to her. The source at least. When his eyes opened again, the sands in front of him looked odd. No, not the sand. The things on the sand. It was about another minute before others started sitting up and looking confused. The blaster fire from their rifles had stopped. Down below, on the sands, the Topsiders continued to cut through those monstrous creatures...but only for another couple of minutes. They, too, then stopped, staring closely at the blank features on the now-unmoving enemies.

Or at least, unmoving for a moment. It wasn’t long before the bodies started to simply collapse, falling to pieces in the process. The airspeeders flew over a couple more times through the frozen astonishment that permeated the air. It didn’t make sense...one of the other snipers was on his feet, looking to Voort. But the former Imperial could only shrug. It wasn’t long before whispers started among the small group on the dune. Voort ignored them, though, trying to reach out again and find something to explain this. All he found was Jen. A bright fire in the Force, burning strongly next to a weaker light that he soon identified as Shadow. Or something like that. Had they done it, then? Was Sadrak dead? But why would his army fall apart so literally? Questions, questions.

Holding the rifle up, Voort ignored the others around him and started down the dune. He didn’t head down to the center, though, but headed left, off towards Hansen’s group. From the look of it, they were still in a mostly stunned state. It was a ten minute walk. Ten long minutes of passing by hundreds of corpses. Mostly Topsiders. But there were also limbs of other creatures that Voort didn’t attempt to identify. The sand was bloodstained. Red color stretched out across the everywhere he set his feet. It was like someone had attempted to create an ocean on this desert world and had nearly succeeded.

Upon finally reaching the outer edges of the group, he found a Topsider and said, “Where’s your commander?”

The reptilian creature tilted its head for a moment, trying to think obviously. It made a ‘sss’ing sound before tipping its long head off towards the real body pile out there. It said nothing, though. Voort just nodded, then stepped off in that direction. He was almost having to climb across bodies now, at the same time as he wove through the small collection of remaining Topsiders that still stood. Hansen was easy to find, though, being a human in this group of reptiles. She was just as bloodstained as the ground was, her hair even taking on a disturbingly reddish tint. Her face had a few scratches and bruises, and there was at least one long cut across her that was still bleeding.

Upon seeing Voort(who looked out of place looking so clean), a weak smile grew on her face. Honestly, she looked about ready to just pass out and join these piles of corpses that littered the ground. Carefully, Hansen stepped over to him and spoke in a hoarse, tired voice, “Nice shot...”

That got a smile to Voort’s face. When she collapsed forward, he caught her and held her up carefully. It was an odd feeling, holding Hansen up like that, and brought back a thousand memories of times long gone. What was he to say? She’d been in the thick of the fight. He’d been up on the hill just taking shots for free. Sure, he knew what it was like to be involved in such a chaotic ground fight, but it was somehow impossible for him to speak up. So Voort just stayed silent, looking up beyond all of those corpses to that last dune. Past that was Jen...

“I hate this place...” she said quietly, and Voort noticed she was shaking slightly. Not a surprise. Even experienced soldiers such as Hansen could still be affected by shock. With such a sudden stop to the fight that was obviously intense, it was just one more thing to add to all the stress. It was also obvious to Voort that Hansen was clinging to him slightly...and it was uncomfortable. Maybe only a year ago it would have been fine...but now.

Slowly, he pulled Hansen away and looked down to her, a hard look returning to his face, “Get everyone together and work out our losses.”

He then carefully let go of her so she wouldn’t fall over, then stepped past. It was almost cruel to do, but Voort knew he had to. Taking a deep breath, Voort put Hansen behind him and started the walk to pass the dune. To the facility. To where Akan had gone. To Jen and his promise. He couldn’t help a smile.

* * * *​

Jen had only dwelled on the empty corpse of Sadrak for a short moment. It was easy to look away from that empty shell, and she never even thought of turning back. Slowly but still with a very determined look on her face, Jen walked over towards the two other bodies that were across the chamber. As she approached, she could only see one large hulking thing...headless, with four arms and a disgusting look about it. Jen did not see the head that was off to the side, and that was likely a good thing.

But upon getting closer, she did see an Alraxian. Or at least...she thought it was an Alraxian. The thing was about the right height to be Shadow, with the same genderless type of build that only hinted at the person being female through the way the limbs were constructed. Except the entire body was metal. Even the hair, which looked more like a long extension to the head, almost as if it was a Twi’lek with only one lekku. Somehow, though, Jen knew it was Shadow. It couldn’t be anyone else...and then, very slowly, something changed. The metal seemed to fade away, almost as if it was folding inside with another body folding out from it. It was the first time Jen had really seen an Alraxian morph, and she decided that it was not something she ever wanted to see again. It wasn’t natural. It looked painful even, especially with that metal. But, thankfully, it wasn’t long before the body was Shadow’s, her eyes closed and chest rising only slowly. Unconscious.

When Jen knelt down next to the Alraxian, she was caught off guard by a second change. This was one that was arguably worse than before, and Jen quickly forced her eyes shut. There was no sound to indicate when the change had finished, so Jen had to guess. Carefully, she opened one eye. When she saw a blurry but stable figure, Jen decided to open both eyes completely. Laying there where Shadow had been was Akan. His hair a mess(as usual), his eyes half open, and his body only slightly bigger than Shadow’s had been. After blinking a few times, his eyes seemed to refocus and actually catch onto Jen. A weak smile grew on his face when the blurry image of Jen came into focus.

She couldn’t help but return the smile, bringing an arm down under him to help him sit up slightly. Waiting a few moments for him to at least get his bearings, Jen finally asked the necessary question, “What...what happened?”

Akan blinked a few more times and looked up to Jen. His voice wasn’t as weak as it was exhausted and at least slightly lost, “I...not completely sure...I...she...”

When he trailed off, Jen rubbed his back gently and decided to give him a little more time. Her eyes idly wandered across the room, taking in the nearby area. She looked at that body for a long moment, not sure what to make of it, before finally seeing the head. Or rather, the face. A face she knew well. A face holding the expression that still haunted her. Landau...dead again. Eyes wide open and just staring into her. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she couldn’t seem to turn away.

Thankfully, Akan spoke and Jen was torn away from that haunting face, “He begged her to kill him...”

It was amazing how so few words could explain so much. Jen didn’t ask for any clarification or any details. It was all understood now. Or at least, all but one little thing...well, two. But both were connected. Jen looked down to Akan, her eyes searching him for the right way to ask. The right words. The right anything.

Again, she was thankful when Akan spoke, seemingly knowing what she wanted to say, “We are both here...” he carefully raised a hand and pointed to himself, and a half grin appeared on his face, “Don’t know details or how...Alraxian things. She is...is...” Akan paused to try and find the words, then waved a hand vaguely in a motion that was oddly Shadow-like, “...asleep. Best word I can think of.”

Another pause, this time his eyes locked onto her’s and he seemed to look deep into her. Jen suddenly felt naked with no way to hide herself from him. Even her natural reactions couldn’t break off that feeling that Akan was sifting through her thoughts...and then, it faded away, with Akan’s tone changing completely, sounding worried and horribly afraid, “Sadrak is...”

“Dead,” Jen finished in a strangely sharp and harsh way. It was very unlike her to speak like that, and even Jen caught herself. Softening her voice and returning to her normal tone, Jen explained a little more, “I had a little...a little help. But he’s gone now. Finally. And we can go home now.”

Home. That word truly meant nothing to Akan, but he forced a smile to at least help Jen feel better. He slowly sat up all the way, stubbornly batting her arm away from helping him before looking beyond her to that broken throne. Something in her terrified him, now. Something he’d dreamed of before, and convinced himself that it was just that...a dream. But now, feeling the air within the room and the strong echoes of the Force throughout it, Akan felt that fear growing real. And because of it, he couldn’t seem to look at her anymore. His voice was even distant and Jen could tell something was wrong, “I should be dead. Again.”

A smile grew on Jen’s face and she didn’t even think about any of those problems anymore, “You’ve got good friends to keep you alive.”

“I can’t keep cheating fate,” Akan said, looking down to the floor and seeing his reflection. Looking into his own eyes and seeing that Alraxian face, realizing for the first time he still thought of himself as a human. His mental image of himself was not this. A sigh was let out and he whispered, “I can’t keep risking everyone else...”

This time, Jen reached down and lifted his head up to look Akan in the eyes, “Maybe you aren’t cheating fate. Maybe you’re supposed to be here right now,” her hand slowly moved up to his cheek, “Maybe, you’re not allowed to die yet. Maybe...just maybe, some of us still need you here.”

Akan looked into the woman’s eyes, finding none of the comfort she was trying to provide. He saw only death. Only that dream again. He closed his eyes, then, and tried to blank it all out. Tried to ignore it. And in that, he found Shadow. She had retreated in a way not unlike the state he’d been in. Distant, but conscious and still there. She was hiding from what had happened. Still, mentally, that emotionless droid. The one that couldn’t cry. The one that couldn’t feel. The one that couldn’t hurt after killing a friend. Akan found her easily, knowing ‘their’ mind in a way that anyone strong in the Force should. And now, there was no link. Instead, two equally strong minds, thinking on their own with nothing able to hide from the other, no matter how hard one tried.

And quietly, he pushed her. Thought at her was the only way to describe it. Speaking without speaking. Talking to oneself when the voice in your head really was someone else, ‘Droids don’t cry,’ he said to her, knowing she couldn’t hide from him this time, ‘Droids don’t feel. But droids don’t live either. Droids don’t do anything...they just are. And you’re not like that anymore, remember? You’re alive now. No one’s droid. No one’s weapon. You are free. Don’t lock yourself up again...don’t be like me.’

There was that odd feeling of being looked at from within, and Akan knew he’d at least gotten through to her. She didn’t ‘speak’ back, but instead a series of thoughts came together. Loki. Coruscant. Home. The others...others? Yes. Sadrak was gone, but that just opened up even more things that had to be done. Shadow needed to know more about her past. She needed to know who Marix really was. And now there was time to find out.

“Something Sadrak said, though,” Jen spoke quietly, noticing something was odd about Akan’s expression. Both Shadow and Akan ‘heard’ Jen, and the way she spoke got their undivided attention all of a sudden, “He said he got that...that horrible body from someone named Halpak.”

Halpak. A pang of everything hit Shadow all over again, a thousand things she’d never had to think of before. In that moment, with that one small word, seemingly insignificant, there was a whole new reason to find Marix. The real Marix. Halpak. Just when it all should have been over, a new variable was added. One that only Shadow understood. Even with their shared consciousness, even Akan couldn’t grasp it all. Too much of the thoughts were in Alraxian, anyway. The emotions, though, he did grasp. And it simply made everything worse. Slowly, he turned his head to look to Jen. His voice was shaky, but he managed to speak, “Shadow will...have to explain that later...lets just...just get out of here.”

As they both got to their feet, all three of them were overcome with a horrible feeling that yet again, this wasn’t over. Jen was the only one not actually sure of this. But Akan and Shadow knew that there was still more to be done. Shadow was the one who knew that everything was about to get a lot worse. At least...for her it was. Hopefully she could find the real Marix. She would know what to do. That is, if she didn’t just kill Shadow for being the abomination that she was...but that was a risk they had to take. Especially now that Halpak was involved.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Chapter 109: Aftermath

By the time the Alraxian(currently, it was still Akan) and Jen had gotten through the majority of the corridors leading towards the exit, they ran into Voort. It was nearly a literal running into, but Jen managed to stop before being barreled over. There was a pause, an awkward silence, then a laugh from both humans before they embraced tightly. Akan stood back, feeling out of place and not just slightly lonely. Sure, Shadow was in there, but she was currently caught up in some odd thoughts that he didn’t understand. He knew this wasn’t over. Even though Shadow’s was doing her best to think in Alraxian, the general feel did get through. While vague, it was still clear to Akan there was much more to be done. No rest. No time to think. He’d even lost track of how long they’d been on Arranis. At least a day, yes...but beyond that, it just all blurred together.

He was jolted back into the moment when Voort asked the inevitable question, “Where’s Shadow?”

Akan had at first expected Voort to be asking Jen, but he quickly noticed that both of the humans were watching him. Jen giving Akan that ‘This is your job’ look, and Voort actually looking almost...almost...worried? Interesting. Unexpected. It shouldn’t have been, but it was. And that look wasn’t going away. Akan quickly realized he’d been standing there looking blank for at least half a minute, and spoke in a voice that was almost too rushed for the actual control there was in the situation(even if Akan didn’t know it), “She’s...um...here.”

Again, he pointed to himself. Before any more questions along those lines, Akan waved them off and said, “Not important just yet. We’re both alive and...I think we’re okay. I think there’s also a consensus that this place needs to be destroyed.”

Voort and Jen exchanged a careful glance before Voort shook his head, “Hansen and what’s left of her people will need to go through here and find out everything they can. This place is obviously much bigger than we’ve explored.”

The way that Voort said that got him a near glare from both Akan and Jen. He’d sounded about like he was suggesting they should do the exploring. Now. Right away. Just them. HA! Jen, her arm around him, started to push Voort around and back towards the way out, “Let Hansen do that. A lot has happened, Titus...and I think we all need some sleep.”

As they got back to the walk out, Akan noticed something tugging at him. Something...something. It was Shadow. She was tired, still, and very weak, but something was bugging her. And she needed that addressed. So, Akan asked her question, “What happened out there, Voort?”

And then, again, they stopped. Voort paused and turned around, looking back to the Alraxian with a solemn look. He seemed to be thinking over what to say, and allowed himself a sigh before speaking, “Everything went as expected. We were losing. Horribly. In fact, it was going to be getting very bad very soon...then. Well, I just don’t know. They just all fell apart.”

It took both Akan and Jen a moment to realize that he was speaking literally. When he’d finished, the two gave each other long looks. At the same time, Akan was getting a mental ‘hmmm’ from Shadow. Her...his...their mind was racing with a thousand thoughts and Shadow actually seemed to be making sense out of them. In fact, that worried Akan. It worried him enough that he did his absolute best to avoid any kind of questions or speaking for that matter. He had taken an odd move in just walking right past the two humans without another word, and left Voort to give Jen a raised eyebrow.

She tilted her head towards the departing Alraxian and spoke quietly to Voort, “He’s...well, not just him. They both have been through a lot,” Jen went silent a moment then looked up into his eyes, “All of us have.”

They finally retreated out, finding the Topsiders and remainder of the Imperials had begun to set up a small camp. As the sun was starting its drop in the sky, this had been a good idea. A long march back so soon would have just been far too much for everyone. It took a few hours to set up the large collection of tents and equipment that had been carried across the sands from Haladin. Another hour an Shadow had assisted Akan in splitting them again. Two bodies. Two minds. One life. It was odd to be apart again, but at the same time, comforting to have some kind of solitude and privacy. Both of them were still weak, though, mentally and physically.

And after a short rest, Shadow spoke up. Her voice was still tired, but there was a strength that Akan hadn’t heard in a while, “I have to go to Coruscant as soon as possible.”

“You know I’ll come with you,” Akan responded quickly, turning to look over to her. He studied her tired face a moment and smiled slightly, “Its as important to me as it is to you, now.”

Shadow nodded slowly, idly fixing her tail fur and picking out some of the sand. When she didn’t say anything else, Akan figured he was going to have to speak up on his own. After thinking of how to word it, he said carefully, “What...what happened in there?”

That got her attention. It wasn’t the best way to put it, but it was enough. Shadow’s eyes seemed to freeze in an unblinking daze while she tried to find some way to not have to think about what had happened. When it became obvious that there wasn’t any way for her to avoid answering, she sighed and slumped down slightly, speaking to the tent’s floor, “I don’t really know. I...you were there. You felt it. You were it. I...we...metal. It shouldn’t be possible. It isn’t. It...”

She trailed off, a hand shaking slightly as her voice was. Akan gave her a careful look and wished he could do something. Not really able to think of anything else useful, he instead just nodded and said quietly, “You did it once. It did happen. Can you do it again?”

For a moment, Akan saw a quick glint of excitement in Shadow’s eyes. It was gone as quickly as it had appeared, and Shadow then shook her head, “Not now. It isn’t right. Its...its unnatural.”

Somehow, it was odd to hear an Alraxian say that word, especially when it came to speaking of morphing. So that in itself was worrying. Shadow could feel through the link that Akan was going to press the issue further. In fact, he’d likely succeed. But it wasn’t something she could deal with now. There was too much else. Which meant she was going to have to deflect his mind somehow.

Looking up to him, Shadow spoke carefully, “Ket Halpak. He is...was...no, is a madman. He was exiled from the Hidden Worlds years before I...before Marix left. Exiled for heresy. We do have strong knowledge about living things, but we never create life. Never copy it...that is...is an evil mockery of the true Force. Its why clones are so horrible...” Shadow went silent for a moment, trying to direct her thoughts to the places they needed to be instead of along those other paths, “He was Tam-Day-U like Marix. Even worked with her more than once...but he...he did horrible things. I can feel his touch here. Those things....they were...were Narani once. And Sadrak. Even he was just another pawn for Ket...I always thought he was dead,” she mumbled, burying her face in her hands. After that, Shadow’s voice was left in a whisper, and Akan could tell she was fighting back tears, “He should have been dead. Marix was supposed to find him and finally kill him...but...but the Empire...Akan, Halpak is the greatest threat to our people since the Sith. We have to find him. We have to finish what Marix should have done...”

Her eyes were begging him as much as her voice was. That scared Akan, and also showed that this was only the bare bones version of who this Halpak was. There was obviously too much going on right now to paint a clear picture, and Akan could wait. Shadow had made sure of one thing before they’d separated into their individual bodies again. She’d made him swear an oath. It was not, she said, a true oath to anyone but her, but it would do for now. Akan had sworn(very reluctantly) to protect his people. Alraxians. No matter what. It was under that condition that he was given this body, and that wasn’t something Akan was going to forget. If only he knew the position that really put him in. But even if Shadow had told him, he’d probably not understand. Not yet, at least.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Chapter 110: A New Teacher

Not long after, Shadow had left to be alone. The stars were out, as was one of the planet’s moons. The soft greenish glow of the moon reminded her of home. She’d never been homesick before, but now...for some reason, she just wanted to go home. But that wasn’t possible. Even if they didn’t already know she was a clone, it would be easy to discover that and then she would be killed. Akan wouldn’t die, as there were ways to transfer his connection to her to another. He would never actually live a life alone anymore, but he could still live. Shadow stopped her thoughts there. Why even consider that? It wasn’t something that was going to happen.

Shouldn’t she feel better now that Sadrak was gone? But no...with Halpak somewhere out there, there wasn’t any reason to feel better. And Landau was dead. By her hand. No. Not by her hand. Shadow looked down at her hand a moment, studying it. The claws extended, and she looked closer. No. Something else killed Landau. For a moment, just after the claws retracted again, she could see that metallic sheen from the skin. A trick of the eye. It had to be, as before she had felt the metal. Yes, she could bring that back. Could feel it there within her. An alien presence. No. Not it wasn’t alien. It was her.

The ability to morph metal was not some fluke of randomness. It was another of Sadrak’s little toys. Playing on the ancient myths of the Alraxian people, he helped to create their greatest fears. First, the Darkwings. Second...metal. Though the Darkwing Wars were a true part of Alraxian history and never thought of as myth, the ability to morph metal was unclear. It could easily have been made up...but the distinction didn’t matter. The fear was there from childhood. Every Alraxian knew the danger of metal, and most Alraxians never actually harnessed their innate ability to morph. Morphing was seen as a talent that few had, and one that was no longer necessary in the times of peace. Combine the almost mystic idea of morphing among the general population of the Alraxian Empire with the fears of metal and there was a story nearly as terrifying as the Darkwings. An Alraxian that was essentially invulnerable. One individual with such power in a strongly pluralistic society truly was the worst thing that could ever happen. And the stories simply grew.

And here Shadow was, a true outsider among her species. She was the clone of the Empress’ daughter. The daughter a Tam-Day-U, the disgraceful group of assassins that were hidden away from their kind and usually died before reaching adulthood. The black mark on the Empire. And now...now she was even more than that. A Darkwing. Only for a moment, maybe, but that part of her would always be a separate entity, buried deep within and waiting for any possible chance to ‘live’ again. Only months after that incident, she now knew that the ability to morph metal was not a myth. And she had it. Another outcast. Another reason for her people to fear her. Another reason she could never go home.

Suddenly, Shadow found herself wondering why she even cared about Halpak or the real Marix. But the real Marix. That was something Shadow had to deal with. She was a clone. And perhaps it was just something that clones did, yearning to meet the original and discover how similar they were. Was Shadow really just that? A shadow of Marix? Almost the Empress’ daughter, but not. Would the real Marix have made the same choices in life? Would she have lived among smugglers for so many years? And after Max died...would Marix have found another life? Would she have given Akan his life back? Shadow also couldn’t help but wonder why that thought kept coming up. Okay, so it wasn’t that hard to figure out. Having one’s life suddenly depend on another in all the literal meanings of the word was a defining experience that one couldn’t just ignore. So yes...there were reasons to find Marix. Even if she had to kill Shadow, it was something that had to be done.

But there was still Halpak. He was only a threat to the Alraxian Empire, not this part of the galaxy. If she knew him well enough(and Shadow had a good idea that she did), he wouldn’t care about the workings of these worlds. Sure, he’d know what was going on, but it would only be to further whatever his own goals were. And those goals would definitely be one of two things. Revenge on the Empire who had banished him...or simply returning to it. The latter was wishful thinking. But wait...why? The Empire wouldn’t care about her. Yet in the end, no matter what Shadow tried. Even if she was a clone. Even if she was everything that her people feared...she was still an Alraxian, and she simply couldn’t ignore that and allow her people to be killed.

A smile found its way onto her face. Eventually, Akan was going to have to accept the same things. It would be harder for him, and he would have plenty of time. But eventually. Of course, there were probably a hundred or so other things that Akan would have to accept one way or another. The smile faded away when she had to think about what some of those consequences would be for herself. But then again, pretty much all of those wouldn’t be anything to worry about unless they went to the Hidden Worlds...or her ‘mother’ found her again. Shadow refused to think of the odds of either of those happening, as both were likely to be very high numbers considering their luck in the last months.

“Shadow...” Voort’s voice said from behind her. It didn’t make Shadow jump, but her ears did twist around slightly. Though she didn’t respond in any other way, Voort figure that the ear-shift was enough of an acknowledgment, so he spoke up again, “I’d like to...to ask you something.”

That did get Shadow’s interest. Perhaps part of it was the connection Voort had with Marix. Speaking with him was almost like getting a small view into who Marix was...turning around and raising an eyebrow slightly, Shadow spoke quietly, “Hmm?”

Alright, so it wasn’t a real word, but Voort couldn’t help a grin at that. So much like Marix. He’d never thought the clones could ever be so much like the original...or maybe it was just Shadow. Either way, it was comforting to hear her speak in such a similar tone to his old friend. He took a few steps over to her, idly looking up to the moon above. Instead of trying to avoid the point, Voort just spoke directly. He expected that Shadow would be like Marix in hating it when people avoiding the subject, “Would you be willing to teach Jen about the Force?”

Shadow was silent a moment. Thinking about it. Sure, she was clone, but now Shadow was truly an individual. This choice was proof of it. Marix wasn’t here to decide what to do. Shadow was. But she didn’t answer right away. Instead, she asked an obvious question, “Why not you?”

Voort turned down from the sky and looked to the young Alraxian, “You should know that without asking. And don’t even try the second question. Akan isn’t old enough, and he’s got far too much else on his mind to ever attempt something so important.”

Shadow half grinned at that, giving Voort a sideways glance. Of course, she didn’t mention the fact that she likely had even more on her mind that Akan did. Voort had a point, though. Obviously, he wanted Jen to learn the basics, and at least some rudimentary knowledge of the light side. The Force as the Jedi and Sith of the galaxy knew it...not as the Alraxians did. But thankfully, Shadow knew a little of both, and could do what was asked. The grin faded into a more neutral expression, and she nodded, “I guess I’ll have to do it, then,” so, the grin returned at that, her tail swishing slightly in an odd gesture, “I will do my best.”

Smiling warmly, Voort rested an arm on the Alraxian’s shoulder, “I know you will. That’s why I came to you.”

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Chapter 111: In Times of Rest...

A week passed. In that week, it seemed like a thousand things happened. Sadrak’s base was finally mapped and its contents were removed. The computer systems were being sliced into currently, with the small number of Hansen’s group that were left trying to find what they could that was useful. Artifacts from the base were also gathered for study. Most were alien to everyone. Well, except for Shadow. It scared her that nearly every ‘unique’ item that was brought out actually ended up being of Alraxian origin, simply further proving the connection of Halpak. Also, the Topsiders had left. Or at least, about half of them did. The other half had decided that Haladin was a nice place, and were busy molding a large section of the city to better suit them and their families. The process was aided only by two of Hansen’s troops, mostly providing maps of the underground areas and a little consulting so that the Topsiders didn’t blow the city to pieces. Shadow had also dragged Akan across the desert to find Loki. It wasn’t too much trouble, and they found him in a mostly conscious state, feeling weak and confused. Once the ship was calmed down, he was righted and checked for serious wounds. After it was finally decided that Loki was going to be alright, Shadow piloted him the short distance to Haladin, setting him down just outside. This actually put him within ‘range’ of the thought-speech, for lack of a better term.

But there was one thing that occurred in the last day of this week that topped all of that. The water supply was fixed. Running water now existed in Haladin again. This meant that, of course, every available room with a bath was taken immediately. Jen, Voort, Shadow, Hansen, and Akan had been the first ones to get a hold of the baths. Not because they were ranked higher or anything like that. Simply, the five of them were intelligent enough to run like hell the second the baths were available.

Akan spent an hour just comfortably lounging in the wonderful water. He was in his old human body again, the exact reason for which he wasn’t even sure of. It had just felt right...and he was getting tired of all those stares from everyone. Besides, he still was human at heart. Finally climbing out of the bath, Akan wandered into the connecting room that had been assigned to him. He rummaged through the small pack he’d brought from Loki that contained his things and got out the only clothes he owned beyond that morphsuit. The beat up old pair of grey trousers with more than one hole in them, the once-grey shirt he’d had since his days in the New Republic that had somehow turned to a strange off white color, and his old jacket. It was brown, with a high collar and five faded sections. Two were on each shoulder, where the old Zephyr insignia had once been. Another was on the right side of the collar, a faded circle with a few rips along it. That had been the New Republic patch. On the left breast was a torn rectangular patch that had been where his rank markings had gone. Just below that was his the small, triangular fade mark that had held the medal he’d been given for saving the Duros Rulae Nok in their first mission. And then...just above those two, was the only remaining patch. It was a black color, and the writing on it was impossible to read without close inspection: ‘Cpt. Raan Maxwell’

Sighing, Akan just tossed the jacket back to the pack. He missed. Badly. Bah. Voort was the marksman. Turning, Akan wandered out to have a walk through Haladin again. He wasn’t completely sure why, but then again, somehow it felt better that just sitting around...even if the water amazingly good.

* * * *​

Not long after Jen had climbed out of the wonderful bath, there was a knock at the door. Not moving from her comfortable place laying on the bed in the towel, she just said, “Yes?”

“Its me,” Voort’s voice sounded muffled through the door.

Smiling, Jen rolled over and tried to throw one of her shoes at the door panel. It missed, nearly locking the door in the process. With a grin at her horrible aim, Jen id it the easy way, “Its not locked.”

The door slid open and Voort stepped in. He was wearing that old slate grey Imperial uniform, though it looked like he’d done his best to get rid of all the things that gave any hint at its origin. The door closed behind him after a couple of steps, and somehow that normal sound seemed to surprise him as he turned to look at it. That’s when he noticed the shoe. Turning back to Jen, he just raised an eyebrow, “Problems?”

She laughed and sat up, “If you count laziness after a battle as a problem...then, no.”

Chuckling a little, Voort nodded and had a seat next to her on the bed. She quickly leaned into him, resting a head on his shoulder and closing his eyes. Voort moved a little so that her wet hair wasn’t in his eyes, and then said quietly, “We made it...”

Nodding, Jen closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax. So that was what was on his mind. Sure, it had been on her’s too, but that wasn’t the point. Jen was silent for a while, not sure what to say but at the same time not wanting to put Voort off. So, finally gathering her thoughts, she whispered, “Jen Voort does have a certain ring to it.”

“You’re sure?” Voort asked, turning to look at her as best he could. There was obvious worry in his voice, and Jen sat up and smiled warmly.

She rested a hand on his cheek and nodded, “It was a promise.”

They sat in silence for a long moment, smiles tugging at both of their faces. Eventually, Voort said something that even Jen didn’t hear. Before she could ask him what he’d said, the former Imperial leaned down and kissed her. It was the second time that one of them quietly called out the word “Lights” to the room.

* * * *​

Akan wasn’t out wandering long, finding that there was too much going on outside for it to be peaceful. Sure there was Loki to talk with, but the ship was resting again, and they’d had a few long talks in the last couple of days anyway. Not much else was left to be said for the time being. He passed by a few doors that he knew of as the quarters for his friends before stopping at one. He looked at the door a moment, then knocked. Nothing.

[You alive...?] Akan tried ‘cheating’.

Again. Nothing. He took a deep breath before hitting the switch to open the door. There wasn’t anything to show any form of habitation within the first room except for a couple of ruffles across the bed sheets. Carefully stepping in, Akan looked to the second door in the room. It was only half open, looking like it had broken in the process of closing. Akan slowly crept over to it, using those old skills he’d picked up in Spec Force as a commando to keep quiet. He then tilted his head to look inside. He saw the side of Shadow’s head, half submerged in the water of a large bathtub. Akan grinned, suddenly realizing that she was sleeping. Alright...so this was a bad time.

Retreating just as quietly as he’d entered, Akan didn’t actually notice the tiny twitching of one of Shadow’s ears. It was more a reflex than anything, but it still would have worried him for some reason. After closing the door again, he found his way back to his own room. Akan yawned on entering and wandered over to the pack on his bed, not paying any attention to the jacket draped across the other side.

Out of the pack, he pulled two familiar items. Two datapads. Sitting down on the floor, back rested against the bed, Akan activated the first one. For a long time, he just looked down at the small holo of Raan and Mare. He could almost hear her laugh again, and reached down to touch the picture gently. But no...he couldn’t feel anything except the screen of the datapad, whatever that was made of. Not her soft skin or hair. Not even that rough flight orange flight suit.

“One more battle down,” Akan found himself saying, “And still I’m stuck here. I was so close to you again, Liz. So close to seeing you again. But every single time I get close, I get pulled away from you again. Its not fair. I’ve done enough. Fought enough. I should be allowed to rest...” for a moment, Akan went silent, almost as if he was waiting for the picture to say something back. Then, “I miss you more than ever. I’m so sorry for what I did...trying to just forget you and ignoring everything. It was childish and stupid. But...but now I want to forget you again. It hurts too much, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I can fight every bastard in the galaxy without any trouble and survive, but I can’t even think about you without wishing for some way to be with you. I don’t care how anymore. I just can’t stand this all...fighting on again and again, coming so close...almost able to see you there again, and then to be yanked back into reality.”

As Akan’s fell into another fit of tears, he didn’t hear the knocking at his door.

 

[Mirage_Patrick]

just wanted to post in and say I have been lurking and reading this story and absolutely love it. I look forward to more.

Out of curiosity, how "far behind" the actual game are you?

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

just wanted to post in and say I have been lurking and reading this story and absolutely love it. I look forward to more.

Out of curiosity, how "far behind" the actual game are you?

Glad you're enjoying it. This has definitely got some lurkers, as the view count keeps jumping up a good amount after every update. I know you people are out there.

As for time. This is about two years ago real time. Closer to three, actually(almost forgot its nearly 2005). The game slowed down a bit in the past year, but its still going slowly...heck, my favorite moment in the entire campaign occurred back in January. At the rate that I'm writing these, should actually catch up to that in a few months. Maybe sooner depending. The next few updates are fairly combat light for a while. Lots of reflections, planning, gearing up for more insanity to come. Reaching adventure number 3, which is still my favorite among them all.

For a last little judge as to where the campaign actually is now: There's a new generation running around...in the literal sense

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Chapter 112: Family

If anyone had needed Shadow, she was, as Akan had later found, submerged in water. At first, she had cleaned the sand out of her tail fur and hair, but eventually decided that was far too much work. The water felt too good to have to work. So, Shadow sank down, leaving her nose just above the water for breathing. Sure, morphing gills was a possibility. But yet again, that took work. It was just easier to not drown the old fashioned way. It wasn’t long at all before she’d fallen asleep, and that was the state Akan had found her in. She had been so exhausted, both mentally and physically, that she didn’t even feel his mental prodding of a hint of his sneaking in.

But the sleep was not as refreshing as it could have been. As her sleep had been for the last weeks on this planet, it was disturbed by dreams. Dreams that were too real to be dreams, and yet at the same time, too fantastic to be anything but dreams. She saw things that Trade(the Alraxian term for Basic, though the two languages were not completely similar, which was the reason for Shadow’s trouble with sarcasm) had no words to describe. Even Alraxian had no words for them. Emotions didn’t exist in a very definable state, and most of her dreams were feelings and emotions personified. But there were some things she could pin down. Death. Fear. Much fear...who’s fear? Perhaps no one’s and everyone’s. The one true thing she ‘saw’ was Alraxia. The beautiful jungle-green planet orbited by its three moons. Two of which were the same green, the other an odd silver color. One by one, though, the planet and her moons were consumed by a deep red-orange flame. Starting on the opposite sides, and spreading across to meet in the center of her view. Only black remained.

And a voice. Distant...ethereal, and one of those voices that made a person wonder if they ever actually heard the voice in the first place, ‘You are the Fire.

The view of the planets expanded, until she could see all the worlds within the Alraxian Empire. One by one, they burned. Each brighter than the first. Each giving off a horrible feeling of pain as they burned. A thousand worlds dying before her eyes. And that voice...

‘You are the Fire.’

One thing did not escape her view. The neighboring worlds. The large collection of planets bordering the ‘east’ of the Empire. Those worlds seemed to grow...change...they looked dead. Dead with small glowing candles riddling the surfaces. The lights simply grew more numerous, the planets slowly taking on a look that were only comparable to one other planet in the galaxy. Coruscant. But these were not Coruscant. These were the systems of the Mrrakesh. Upon mentally naming the planets, Shadow watched as the small lights an that unnatural color spread through the Alraxian worlds. Infecting them like a plague. Killing them after they’d already been burned...

‘You are the Fire.’

Shadow had not awoken from that by rocketing up out of the water. Simply, her eyes opened as they did every time she woke up. Slowly. Tiredly. Lazily. For the first few minutes after she awoke, anyone seeing her would have had no idea of the dreams. She yawned and stretched with a distinctly feline back arch that made her back pop. After cringing at the noise and rubbing her back weakly. It hadn’t hurt, but that noise always got a whimper or similar reaction out of her. One day, Shadow swore she would break.

Without a thought on the dreams, Shadow climbed out of the bath, lazily said, “Drain bath”, and wandered over to her morphsuit which was dangling on a small bar next to the bath. After much complaining about the cold, Shadow quickly put the morphsuit on and just curled up on the bed for a while, enjoying the relative warmth. Yet she was still cold...not the kind of cold that was fatal to an Alraxian, but definitely uncomfortable. If only she’d had one of those damned little chips. A wonderful bio-technology created by her people. A small, almost mechanical looking chip that was placed carefully on the back of one’s neck. It would regulate body temperature and keep an Alraxian alive in much colder enviroments beyond the limited ability that morphsuits had to do this. They even worked for non-Alraxians on Alraxia, which usually found the planet far too humid and hot.

Finally almost comfortable again, Shadow got back up and wandered around the room. Finding a mirror, she busied herself with fixing her tail fur. One thing about water is that it always caused the fur to go frazzled. Not that Shadow cared how it looked, but it just plain felt itchy...and wrong...and...well, that was about it, really. And then she noticed something was wrong with that image. Shadow carefully examined herself in the mirror, noting the long scar across her face. Left alone too long...now permanent. But no, that had been there for so long, now. But there...there it was. She found what was wrong near that scar. In her eyes. The usual silvery-purple color was fading into...orange. Orange and red. Fire.

‘You are the Fire.’

Shadow idly held her tail in one hand and looked at her image in the mirror. The Force was silent. Everything was silent...and yet...yet something felt wrong. That voice should have been gone. Dream or vision, they were supposed to stop and not bother her when she was awake. For a moment, Shadow nearly growled at the mirror. No, she wasn’t as bad as Akan. He would yell at a holodrama if he didn’t agree with it. So she just stared at the thing that was wrong with her eyes. Using a glare that could melt ice and turn the water into durasteel in a matter of seconds. But no. It stayed...in fact, it got worse. It almost looked as if there was an odd glow coming out from her. Shadow looked down at her hand not from the mirror. Nothing. But in the mirror...she was like a walking flame...

‘You are the Fire.’

“Alright! Alright!!” Shadow suddenly yelled, kicking the wall and shaking the mirror, “I get the damned point!! Leave me alone!”

Silence.

Shadow waited for another few minutes just in case.

Still nothing. The image of her in the mirror was back to normal. Then she grinned proudly, a predatory look with those feline fangs, and said to her reflection, “That’s what I thought.”

Finally letting go of her tail and turning to wander out and find something to do, Shadow felt proud of herself. Then she reached the door and stopped dead in her tracks. Standing there in silence for a long moment, her ears swiveling around as if to make sure no one was around, she cursed in Alraxian suddenly. Stupid Akan had her talking to walls and air now!

* * * *​

For the third time, Jen knocked at Akan’s door. She’d left Voort asleep after something odd had been nagging at her. It was what she’d once called instinct, and now knew as the Force. Or at least, intellectually knew as the Force. She still considered it odd and wasn’t always sure what to do. But this time...this time she just felt like she needed to go and speak with Akan. Whether for herself, or for him, she didn’t know. But that wasn’t going to do a damned thing if he never opened the door. It was locked, so he had to be in there. They didn’t have any access keys and they could only be locked from the inside.

Jen tried one more time, knocking fairly loudly this time. She waited only half a minute before sighing and looking at the small panel next to the door. Leaning against the door, Jen said, “Akan? You alive?”

Nothing. But she’d not expected anything. So even after finishing those words, Jen was already finding an alternative way in and not listening for an answer. Something...just told her to get in that room. It was an urgent push, and she didn’t have any reason to disbelieve that it was important. Which meant that she felt no guilt in pulling the cover off of the panel. Jen also felt no guilt in hot-wiring the door. Sure she was going to have to learn some new skills soon...and had been learning a lot on this planet. But the old technical knowledge always came in handy, and Jen was proud that she never forgot.

But when the door slid open, Jen’s mood changed from pride. It was obviously apparent why that need to get in there had been pushed on her by...by...whatever the hell made the galaxy what it was. The first things she noticed was the air of the room itself. She hadn’t even stepped inside, and felt like a heavy wall of...what was that? Thick something...she wasn’t experienced enough in empathetic uses of the Force to identify it as anything more than ‘bad’ or ‘negative’, but that was enough. Especially when she saw Akan. The first surprise was that Akan was human again. She’d expected to see a tail, darker skin, more muscles in places that humans simply didn’t have them, and at least a little more height to him...but no. Sitting down there on the floor, back to the bed was the boy who’d gotten her off of Endor months ago. No...not boy. He wasn’t a kid, no matter the age difference. Young man, at least, man at best. That didn’t matter right now. What did was the remainder of the situation her eyes took in.

Akan’s head was tilted down, looking at something that was resting in his lap. Jen knew the galaxy’s technology well enough to easily identify it as a datapad. In his right hand, was that old blaster pistol she remembered from all those months ago. Probably closer to half a standard year now, and it looked even more beat up than before. Jen knew Akan well enough to notice the slight shaking in his hand. It worried her even more than the fact that his lightsaber was not on that usual position in his belt, and she couldn’t see his left hand. Taking in the situation, Jen allowed herself a last deep breath before knowing that she had to do something and stealing herself to it.

After a few careful steps into the room, the door slid closed behind her. Akan didn’t seem to take any notice of her, and she wished for a moment that he was in his Alraxian body. At least then, she could tell if he was paying attention through the unconscious ear-twitches she’d gotten used to seeing. Kneeling down not far from him, she looked at his face. So he was awake. His eyes were open, staring down blankly at that datapad. Tears covered his face though he didn’t move. It was obvious to Jen what that datapad showed.

When she saw his right hand move slightly, Jen gave up on trying to figure things out. Waiting was probably going to make things worse. So, in a somewhat shaky voice from worry, she said, “Hey, Akan...its okay...”

She had actually meant to say more, expecting him to ignore her. But instead, at hearing his name, Akan had moved. Very slowly, looking up through that messy brown hair that got in the way of the right side of his face, Akan’s eyes searched for something. Jen knew what it was and wished she could provide it. She could at least get close. Allowing herself a soft smile, she reached down to put a hand on his(pulling the blaster to the ground carefully in the process), “You know...the rest of us were sane enough to immerse ourselves in water.”

Sadly, that didn’t get the effect Jen had wanted. Akan only stared at her, an almost glare appearing on his face. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and tired, “What do you want?”

“To help a friend,” Jen said, moving closer to him and squeezing his hand gently.

Again, the wrong effect. Akan’s glare just intensified and he yanked his hand away from her and said coldly, “Voort’s not here.”

So he knew. No surprise, really, and it wasn’t a bad thing. But she hadn’t come here for that, and didn’t let his mood or words effect her. Still persisting, this time her hand rested on his knee, “I do know that...but you’re here.”

“And...?” his head had turned back to looking at that datapad, voice sounding distant like he wasn’t even paying all that much attention.

Jen was silent a moment, this time. She leaned a little closer to have a look at that image on the datapad. Quietly, she studied the two young pilots, noting the differences in Akan now. She couldn’t help a small smile, but spoke very softly as to not upset up, “I guess we’ve all lost good friends.”

Akan turned his head slightly to look at her, tried to speak but couldn’t find the words. He sighed heavily and looked back down at the datapad, speaking in a voice that revealed a lot about him. It was full of fear, very shaken, and sounded almost like a child telling their nightmare to a parent. Maybe that wasn’t so inaccurate, “That doesn’t bring them back.”

“No...” Jen shook her head slowly, feeling horrible that she had to be the one to do this. Yet...yet she knew someone had to, and somewhere in there, Akan trusted her, “No, it doesn’t bring them back.”

Again, silence. Jen simply watched Akan for this time, trying to think what to say next. She’d not thought this through, and it was obvious...though not a bad thing. It was impossible to plan for such things, especially when he was holding two weapons a little too close to himself and probably wasn’t all that mentally stable. But letting the silence last too long would only give him more time to dwell on those thoughts...so she tried just speaking some thoughts, “You know...I never thought about it until now, but have you looked at all of us? Two feline shapechangers, a former Imperial sniper with the ear of the Emperor himself, and a New Republic scientist who always avoided picking up a weapon,” Jen allowed herself a short laugh at that, noting the small hint of a smile creeping onto Akan’s face, “Its been so long since my family was killed on Alderaan. It feels like lifetime ago...perhaps it was. But you know...I think that for the first time since then, I feel like I have a family again. A strange one, yes...but...family none the less.”

That got the effect she’d wanted. Akan had turned away from the datapad and looked over to her. There was a surprised look on his face, which was odd considering the tears and general mess of his appearance at the moment. After a couple of minutes, Jen brought a hand up to rest on Akan’s cheek and said quietly, “Family looks out for each other. Family cares for each other. Shadow cares about you, Hansen cares...hell, even Voort cares in his own special way,” that got a smile on Akan’s face finally, which caused Jen to grin, “And I care. I always will. Don’t ever forget us. Any of us...” she sighed a moment, not sure if her next words should really be spoken at a time like this. But...if not now, when?

Instead of just speaking, though, Jen moved slightly. Leaning in, she surprised Akan by kissing him full on the lips. After holding it for a few moments, she pulled back and said quietly, “You’re going to have to learn to live with the fact that we count you as a friend and we care. And that...that at least some of us couldn’t bear to lose you...perhaps, if we’d never gone into that New Republic ship and broken out Voort...perhaps, I’d have fallen in love with you.”

And then Jen got to her feet. She walked over to the door, reached for the panel and stopped herself. Before leaving the room, Jen said quietly, “Would you put us through what you go through right now? Would you want me to be that way? Would you want Shadow to die...?” she paused, took a deep breath, and played the trump card, “What would Mare do?”

But Jen didn’t wait for an answer, she simply exited the room, leaving a very confused Akan to nearly confuse Shadow with the half-feeling seeping through the link from his uncontrolled mind. One day...one day he’d figure out what it was that made females of any species insane. Obviously, today was not going to be that day. Later, it was going to confuse him even more, and somehow, even without needing the Force, Akan knew this.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Chapter 113: Nagging Troubles

Akan sat alone in the room for a long time. Thinking. Or rather, trying to think through the chaos his mind was currently engulfed in. What would Mare do? It was a good question, and one that he couldn’t seem to answer. Or at least, not answer just once. She’d probably do a lot of things...but...no, no this wasn’t helping anyone. Getting to his feet and putt the datapad back into his pack, Akan decided to take another walk.

He went outside, finding that night had fallen and the stars were out. Bright, shining wonderfully, and somehow drowning out the shine of the moon. Finding a nice spot on top of one of the garrison buildings, Akan watched the sky. He was suddenly surprised by a familiar voice off to his left.

“Its beautiful, really,” Jen said. Akan turned and saw she was facing the other direction, but still looking up. What was she doing out here? An odd sense of deja vu washed over Akan and he couldn’t help but wonder if he had felt this was a good place to go from a little ‘trick’ in the Force. It wouldn’t have been the first time. Probably wouldn’t be the last, either.

“Yeah...it is,” he agreed, picking out a couple of planets and wondering what they were. It was far too much of a distance to see Corellia or even Endor from here...but maybe that was a planet he knew. Had walked on before...or even just flown over.

“You have wonderful memories of her,” Jen said, breaking Akan’s thoughts and surprising him. She’d picked up on those buried thoughts he was trying to hide, and somehow that annoyed him. It was hard enough getting used to Shadow knowing his thoughts, but now Jen did too. Very strong, even without training, it seemed. But apparently, she wasn’t done, “Don’t forget her, Akan.”

He sighed, but kept his attention on the stars above, “Why? It only drives me insane...or worse.”

“It strengthens you,” she responded quickly, no longer looking to the stars but now at the sands below, “Whether you see it that way or not...we have. Remember the good times. There were some...weren’t there?”

Somehow, Akan couldn’t fight back that smile, looking over to Jen and nodding slowly, “Of course...but there would have been more...should have been.”

“Perhaps,” Jen’s voice sounded a bit distant, as if she was off thinking about something else entirely, “But you can’t bring her back. I had to learn that, too. It isn’t easy...and it isn’t fun, but it’s the truth. And you shouldn’t worry so much about it. You’ll fall in love again.”

Something about those words hit Akan deeply. It was like she was still reading his thoughts, no matter how deep or buried they were...even from himself. In fact, he’d nearly spoke the first thoughts that came to mind, and stopped himself halfway through. Somehow, that didn’t seem like the right thing to say right now. She’d probably assume the wrong thing. But she was right...he would fall in love again. It might already have happened, even. But those thoughts faded into the dream again.

Or at least, a similar dream. Instead of watching as Jen fell away and he fought with Voort, Akan saw Jen. She stood facing himself, Voort, and Shadow. In her hand was Voort’s lightsaber, shining brightly and causing a horrible glow across the dangerous look on her face. Akan watched helplessly as Jen charged forward, first cleaving through Voort with her lightsaber, the man’s yell cut off in a short second of violent pain. But Akan couldn’t move. Frozen in shock and...no, it was more than shock. Stronger, at least. It didn’t stop him from seeing Jen move on both him and Shadow. Frantically, his mind tried to force his hand to get the lightsaber out...or just to move. Or anything! But nothing happened...well, no, something did. The lightsaber cut through his chest, across and then through what he assumed would have been Shadow. He didn’t see that, though, as his vision blacked out from the intense pain.

And then he was back. Back to sitting on the roof of the garrison watching the stars. He looked to Jen and couldn’t stop seeing both of those dreams together again. This was wrong. Akan knew that Shadow had agreed to train Jen. No matter the state of his mind, he could still feel Shadow’s thoughts. Now more than ever, it worried him. Terrified him. And he couldn’t look at Jen anymore. Quickly, he got to his feet and jumped down to the ground below, moving back into the garrison to find Shadow.

Jen watched him go. Strange. She had thought that everything was working, and then he just tore off with a panicked look on his face. Maybe she’d crossed the line with what she’d said. Maybe he wasn’t ready to move on just yet. It had taken her nearly five years before accepting that her younger sister Mera wasn’t coming back. She tried to imagine how she would feel about Voort if she had been in Akan’s situation. How long would it take her to come to terms with reality? Probably never. Jen stretched and rested back to watch the stars above. Definitely never. But as things looked now, it wouldn’t ever have to be something she had to think about again.

* * * *​

Shadow found nothing interesting to do. Jen was no where to be found, Voort was asleep with some stupid grin on his face, Akan was...was...where was he, anyway? Thinking about it, she decided to try an old trick that she...no, Marix had known. Looking into the mirror again, she half expected to see those damned flames again. But thankfully, none. No voice either. Good. The thing had learned its lesson at least.

Focusing, Shadow reached out to the mirror and touched it gently, speaking Alraxian, “Addran fi sew Akan-jai.”

The mirror rippled slightly like water, and a faint image appeared over her own reflection. She could see Akan, walking down a corridor that didn’t look to be too far away. The thing that caught her eye was that he was human. Odd. Shadow had thought he’d gotten over...that, but now. She couldn’t help a grin at seeing that odd overlay image in the mirror. There was something to do! Something to alleviate the boredom!

Grinning, Shadow left the mirror as it was and ran off to hunt down her prey. Following the feeling through the link, she dimmed the predatory instincts so he wouldn’t notice, and stalked. Corner after corner, she expected to have jumped out at him, but each time he wasn’t there. Hmmm...needed to focus better. So she did. And she found him! Quickly quieting that excitement so Akan wouldn’t catch it, she ran off in the other direction(silently).

And then, she waited at the edge of a corner. He was close. Very close. Shadow was grinning a lot, trying her best not to dance around while waiting on him to get close enough...it wasn’t long before she heard his footsteps approaching. Or at least, some footsteps, but Shadow knew they were his. The link gave that away. It was like angst just walking her way. Perfect prey! Patience...patience...the smell of Akan started to get to her. But no, WAIT! Perfect timing...don’t jump the gun yet. It’d been so long since she’d hunted like this that all the excitement was starting to get the best of her. And then...then she pounced around the corner suddenly at him!

“Oof!” was Shadow’s cry as she hit head first into a running Akan. She’d not thought he’d have been moving faster than a walk.

“AH!” was Akan’s cry as he jumped back and stumbled away from the heavy impact of Shadow against his chest. She had a thick skull...but now Shadow lay on her back, down on the floor with her head spinning. A moment later, Akan’s apologetic face appeared over her, “Sorry...”

“You should be...” Shadow grumbled, taking his outstretched hand and allowing him to help her to her feet. Once up, she poked him hard in the chest, “That was mean.”

“Oh it was?” Akan couldn’t help a slight grin, “And you trying to murder me is any better?”

“Of course! Humans are viable prey at all times,” she grinned and then noticed that it probably hadn’t been the best thing to say. Akan’s expression had changed, and she knew the emotions that went with that look. Sighing, she managed a short apology, “Sorry...um...you were looking for me?”

So she’d picked up on his thoughts. Good, made things easier. Composing himself, Akan nodded and said simply, “Don’t train her.”

“Huh?” Shadow raised her eyebrow, then started connecting thoughts with words. One day he’d have to learn that the link was nice for sharing info, but sometimes words were actually helpful. Figuring it out, Shadow gave him a strange look, “Why not? No, wait...don’t tell me. Its that stupid dream of yours again.”

“It wasn’t just a dream,” Akan growled, not so threatening from a human as it was from an Alraxian, “Just don’t do it.”

Shadow stood back and gave him that ‘you’re an idiot’ look before saying, “There is too much potential to just waste in her!”

“Sometimes it has to be waste!” Akan snapped back suddenly, catching Shadow off guard.

She shook her head, “I’m going to do it,” and then the images of his dream started to seep through the link. So that was the problem, now. Sighing, she spoke more calmly this time, “Listen to me, Akan-jai, it will be okay. Those are just dreams...they aren’t the here and now. We have to live in the present, not the future...or the past.”

“You’ll just ignore everything I say, won’t you?” asked Akan, sounding as defeated as he felt.

But again, she shook her head, “No, Akan-jai. I will train her to the best of my ability. If I am not supposed to do that, then the Force would stop me. Things will happen as they happen, and we must use our visions as a guide...not a straight jacket. But I have to try...if I don’t, and she falls anyway, then it will be even worse. To see the light before the darkness opens up the possibility of returning, but if she only ever knows the dark...”

As Shadow trailed off, she noticed that Akan was nodding. So he at least understood, even though it was obvious he didn’t agree. But he didn’t seem to be protesting anymore. Then what was that lingering thought through the link? Something still there...with a careful glance over his features to try to read him better, Shadow said, “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

“No,” Akan said far too quickly.

Anyone, even if they hadn’t known him, would know that was a lie from both the voice and the speed of the response. So instead of backing off, Shadow took a step closer and looked him straight in the eyes. It wasn’t until he dodged the look that she picked up on it. That girl, again...Mare. So that was the real problem here. This wasn’t her area of expertise, but then again, no one could really understand Akan any better. Quietly, she said, “When I lost my brother Tobias, I felt the same way. He was...was the only one who ever really understood me in the family. The only one who didn’t condemn me for who I was...and...and the Mrrakesh murdered him. I still miss him so much, but there’s no way to bring him back. I’ve tried...but nothing ever worked.”

It was the first time Akan had ever seen Shadow like that. She actually looked scared...even vulnerable. Everything Shadow wasn’t. He opened his mouth to speak, but took longer than he’d expected to find any words, “There has to be some way...I...I can’t just forget about her.”

“Then don’t,” Shadow said with a smile, “But you have to move on. You have to or you’re going to get yourself killed...get us killed.”

He nodded slowly, a depressed look on his face with tears doing their best to come back again, “I just want it all to end...”

“Don’t cry Akan-jai,” she carefully and awkwardly reached up to wipe away the first tears, then surprised them both and hugged him. His head went to her shoulder, and in a few moments she felt her shoulder getting slightly damp, “Please don’t cry...come on...you’re making me feel useless...”

He did stop, or at least did his best, and stood back slightly. There was a short silence before Shadow turned his face to her and wiped the rest of the tears away, brushed his hair as tiddly as was possible to one side, and in a very feline gesture, rubbed her cheek against his gently. Quietly, she said again, “We will meet everyone we’ve lost one day. You still have them...in your memories. Its not nearly as good as them being right there, but its better than nothing. But they’re...I’m babbling, sorry...”

She went quiet.

The quiet felt too awkward, so she attempted speaking again, “I’m so very bad at this comforting thing...maybe you should go talk to Hansen or even Voort, because I’m really bad at this...and I’m babbling again.”

Akan didn’t say anything, but didn’t move either. Finally, he said, “Thank you...”

Shadow had started to say something else, but her ear twitched to the side. Footsteps. Someone was coming. She didn’t have to say anything, as Akan noticed the movement both through the link and the moving of her ear. Quickly, he pulled back from her and did his best to look ‘normal’. A moment later, Hansen rounded the corner and nearly toppled over the two of them. After a moment, she said, “Voort wanted me to ask you when the ship would be ready.”

Ah. Business. Good, that made things easier. Shadow’s mind was back on track, and she said, “About a day or so...Loki still needs some rest. But tell me, why didn’t Voort just ask himself?”

Hansen managed a weak grin, “He’s ah...um...busy with Jen.”