Story Hour contribution

[Wicht]

I took the plunge and posted a story to story hour. It is not a record of a game, but just a story i had sitting around that i wanted feedback on. If you get the time to read it, let me know what you think.

Confession of Sarai Mocksley

 

[Bob Aberton]

Duuude....

Awesome story....

Man, that made my flesh creep...

Nice ending, too...

 

[Wicht]

Thanks Bob, glad you enjoyed it.

 

[kibbitz]

Give Me Timeeeeeeeeee.......

Well, I made a copy of it, but i prolly won''t be able to give you feedback till i return to my 2nd home this weekend. Still, kudos to you for posting. Gutless, lazy people (me ;D ) won't be posting such for fear of criticism, or worse, lack of it

Oh, I'm swimming in insecurities...

 

[Wicht]

Well, I was sorting of wanting criticism

As I look back on my writings over the past 20 years, I am just now at that stage were I think I am writing print worthy material. But I am curious as to what others think of my writing. Public opinion and opinion of self are often widely different.

Oh, and did I mention it was a CoC story in the finest tradition of Lovecraft (at least that was my aim)

 

[Skarp Hedin]

Well, if you want some criticism:

The ending is pretty well telegraphed from about halfway through.. really, from about when they start reading the book. Of course, the details of the ending aren't clear until Wainswright's fate is described, but one gets the gist.

Note: Lovecraft does this too, so it's to be expected in pastiche.

Also, the repetition of the "Yes, I thought so." phrase (or some variation thereof) is kind of tedious, but so are many old men, heh.

I thought it was a very good story, and better than some published Lovecraft tribute stories I've read, though. Those two points are just something I figured I'd mention in the name of providing criticism. They're really sort of minor.

 

[Wicht]

Thanks Skarp, thats what i am looking for.

 

[kibbitz]

I guess my personal opinion can be summarized by this question: ''May I keep a copy for personal rereading?'' BTW, what is that ''Conqueror Worm'' you mentioned?

With regards to criticism, well, I feel your material is printworthy, though hardly anything groundbreaking... but barring that, well, unless you have a specific aspect you wish to discuss, well, I can't think of much more to say. Oh, perhaps there is... can we expect more of such in future?

 

[Skarp Hedin]

what is that ''Conqueror Worm'' you mentioned?

I wondered the same thing, and asked in Wicht's thread in the Story Hour forum. I figured it was a movie, but couldn't find it on the IMDB: Well, I just searched through Vincent Price's movies, and turns out that The Conquerer Worm is an alternate title for Matthew Hopkins: Witchfinder General

The movie looks pretty interesting.

 

[kibbitz]

I wondered the same thing, and asked in Wicht's thread in the Story Hour forum. I figured it was a movie, but couldn't find it on the IMDB: Well, I just searched through Vincent Price's movies, and turns out that The Conquerer Worm is an alternate title for Matthew Hopkins: Witchfinder General

The movie looks pretty interesting.

Sounds good to me... don't think I'll be able to find it in Singapore, tho'. Too bad But thanks for the info though Search engines been acting up on me and my 56k...