Talking a parent into letting their child play D&D

[Bedrockgames]

I guess the mother's worry about obsession just sparked a flashback of the Mazes and Monsters hysteria in my mind. It may well be that *I'm* making more out of it than is really there.

Bullgrit

I suppose it all depends on what she meant by obsession. Because she said he gets obsessive about video games, I was picturing it being more an issue of the kid devoting too much energy to games and taking time away from his homework. Mazes and Monsters was more like a complete mental breakdown (something I hope people don't still worry about now that they've actually done psych. studies on RPGs).

On that note, anyone who hasn't seen Mazes and Monsters with Tom Hanks, should track it down and watch it before their next game. Definitely worth a laugh.

 

[Rel]

I think that the mother's concerns are valid in the sense that I know I sometimes neglected homework at that age in favor of playing D&D with my friends. However I also think that, in this day and age filled with TV and video games as time fillers for many kids, anything that has their nose in a book full of new vocabulary is a GOOD thing.

Incidentally, if this ends up working out well and you are hoping to run more kids oriented D&D games, and if you don't mind having a girl in there, let me know. Samantha the Red has turned into a pretty avid gamer.

 

[Bullgrit]

Incidentally, if this ends up working out well and you are hoping to run more kids oriented D&D games, and if you don't mind having a girl in there, let me know. Samantha the Red has turned into a pretty avid gamer.

Though I'm not doing this with the intention of making it an ongoing campaign, I'd be lying to say the thought doesn't haunt the back of my mind. If things do go the way of something ongoing, I'll keep Samantha the Red in mind.

Bullgrit

 

[pawsplay]

But what's your thoughts on this? Would you try to talk a parent into allowing their child to play in your (kid-friendly) D&D game? Or would you just say okay and not confront their concerns?

Bullgrit

Two things spring to mind. First, while it may not be possible to persuade the parent, it may be possible to annoy or alienate them. I would be cautious about pushing it too much. Second, I wouldn't want someone trying to pressure me into letting my kid do something I had misgivings about. So I view myself as obligated to respect the other parent's wishes.

However, I think this is a good opportunity to look at the art of negotiation. If my child or the other child wanted some guidance on how to approach the subject with their parents, I would be happy to help them with that, making clear that I would respect the parent's decision, ultimately.

 

[Umbran]

I think you handled it well. Trying to argue a parent into allowing a child to do something is normally a bad way to go. But, letting it be known that other parents support the idea, and making sure it is clear you'll answer any and all questions they might have so they can make an informed decision is respectful and often convincing.

You can't go wrong if you offer to allow them to be personally present - let the adults have coffee and chat while the kids play.

From what you wrote, I don't see any issue of "Mazes and Monsters" in there, in that I have seen kids get really, really absorbed in activities, to the point where it gets in the way of other things. I've seen it happen with RPGS, CCGs, videogames, comic books, even baseball.

 

[pawsplay]

From what you wrote, I don't see any issue of "Mazes and Monsters" in there, in that I have seen kids get really, really absorbed in activities, to the point where it gets in the way of other things. I've seen it happen with RPGS, CCGs, videogames, comic books, even baseball.

I've known at least two people to tank their high school GPA over debate club.

 

[nedjer]

Much respect for how you've gone about this v Personally, I'd only go with parents and kids who are wholeheartedly behind it. The second parent seems vital too - and I'd also go for a clear rule that the game's off if one of the parents, or a substitute parent everyone's happy with, can't make it.

I probably have something else to help with this, but it needs tidied-up. I'm kind of in the middle of testing a forum as a 'live' RPG design wall this evening but I'll post some material for persuading parents asap.

 

[delericho]

But what's your thoughts on this? Would you try to talk a parent into allowing their child to play in your (kid-friendly) D&D game? Or would you just say okay and not confront their concerns?

Other than maybe inviting the parent to also come along and take part (or just observe), I'd be inclined to let it go. Any response is likely to come off as defensive at best.

That said, for the next game, I'd make a point of sending out the invites to all the people who attended this time, and then mentioning to the other parent, "of course, <your son> is welcome to come too..." So as to let her know that the option is there if she's changed her mind, without being pushy about it.

 

[Elf Witch]

The best thing is to just let it go. As a parent myself I would get pissy after I made a decision and then felt I had to defend it.

There maybe things going on in the family that you are not aware of and that the parents don't want to tell you.

When my son was young he had to have surgery on his urinary tract which had a side effect of bed wetting. This is hard on a child even when his parents are supportive and doctors are telling him you will outgrow this give it time.

He was invited to a sleepover and didn't want to go because of it. So to protect him I played the bad guy and told him to tell his friends that mom said no.

The mom called me and tried to talk me into it. I politely tried to explain that I was not comfortable letting my son sleep away from home yet. She really pushed and I got short. I didn't want to tell her about the bed wetting because I had promised my son I wouldn't and I didn't trust this mom to be discrete enough.

The only time I would try is if the parent had reservations and let you know what they are. You could then address those reservations.

 

[Bullgrit]

Just got a reply from another mom saying that her son and her boyfriend will join us. Cool. That makes 3 boys, 2 dads so far.

Bullgrit