Oh look, a parade to rain on!
Well, we can't have all these happy ending love stories now can we? I guess I'll contribute the first non-happy ending(?).
It was the end of my junior year in high school when I first saw her. June 20, 2002, approximately 1:30 P.M. I was going to the guidance office the select my courses for the next year, and of course, there was someone in the counselor's office, so I had to wait for them to finish. After five or so minutes of waiting, the door opens and there she is. I'd seen more beautiful girls, but she had this kind of quite beauty that one doesn't notice upon first glance. I think to myself "Wow. How could I have not noticed her before?"
So the year ends, and I don't see her until September. It was in my Sociology class, I go and sit down near the front of the class, really pissed off for one reason or another. I think I was usually really pissed off, angry, etc. those days. The teacher hadn't showed up, so I turn to look at the clock, and then I see 'her' sitting right next to me. It was like time decided to slow down just to say "Yup, that's her, right there, sitting right next to you, sure thing."
So, as the days go by I get to know her through small talk, class discussions, that sort of thing. She has this soft, sweet voice, with a clear, bell-like laughter, she loves to laugh. An innocent sense of humor, very cheerful, always smiling. The first and only time I'd met someone who was truly beautiful to me in both personality and form. I didn't really know it at the time, but I was indeed smitten. The fact that I had fallen in love didn't really set in until love songs and stories started to have some meaning, I started becoming more even-tempered, more personable, and started to really relate to tragedies with sympathy instead of a 'who cares' attitude.
This becomes very apparent to most everyone around me. I only find myself smiling when she's around, so eventually all of my friends catch on, except for her. I would have tried to establish something more than the typical high-school quasi-relationship, but I had learned that she was in a long-term long-distance relationship, and was herself very much in love. Well damn, that won't be going anywhere, will it? So I if I can't be in a relationship with her because of that, there really isn't much possibility for anything, is there? That didn't stop me from thinking about her, much as I would have liked to.
So that spring I decide to join the Debate Club, since the membership is composed almost exclusively off my friends, and I am an awesome public speaker, and like to argue. I get there, just as they're preparing to do a practice debate on the topic of women in the army. My friends on the affirmative side grab me and want me to do the arguing with only five minutes of prep time. So I get to the podium and take a wild guess who I'm debating against, and hadn't even seen nor has a single clue was even in the debate club?
So I end up arguing that women should be in the army because that would facilitate deep loving relationships on the field of battle that would cause our troops to fight all the harded, just like the Spartans. Surprising? Nah.
Anyway, after that I learn that she's broken up with her longtime boyfriend because of distance problems. Over the next few days she gets more and more depressed, less and less the cheerful, carefree girl I had initially fallen in love with. So I find out that the reason for her optimism was her love, which was now gone. Now, the door is open for me to make my move so to speak, but hell, she'd been with that guy for almost a decade, she needs some time to rebound.
Time passes, and the Prom is drawing near. I keep meaning to ask her to go with me, but heck, I always find myself at a loss for words whenever I get the chance to talk to her one one one. I can hardly even function in our debate preparation unless I enter cold-calculating-emotionless mode and do my best to ignore her. Eventually, at the beginning of a debate club meeting I work up to courage to ask her, and just as I'm approaching her, I overhear her talking to someone. She says she's sad that no-one had asked her to the prom, but that she was going to go with her cousin, had gotten a dress, limo, tickets, etc. so she wouldn't miss out.
I am more or less mentally eviscerating myself at that point. I buy my own tickets, and rent a suit and the whole deal, hoping that I could at least get a dance with her and say what I feel. I see her at the reception for less than a minute and barely get to say hello, and that's it for the whole night. A waste of three hundred dollars, a night, and a whole lot of self esteem.
A few weeks later we have the end of classes and the overnight party thing at a rec center, where I more or less don't see her at all until we're back at the school and everyone's going home. We say goodbye, and that's that. For all intents and purposes, I'm an emotional wreck for the next year.
This summer, halfway through my summer classes, I'm sitting in a class and get this odd feeling. I look to the door and see someone very familiar walk by. 'Couldn't be' I'm thinking, 'She's taking classes in Pennsylvania.' I go to the vending machines to get something to eat during a break, and do a double-take. And there she is, getting a cup of coffee right next to me. We're both like "Whoa. That you?" Exchange phone numbers etc.
Unfortunately, we're both extremely busy. I get through to her on the phone once at her parent's house where she's staying, and get to talk to her for about a minute before I get disconnected. And that's the last I heard from her.
Well there it is. Maybe it's a bit long-winded, but there it is. I haven't really smiled since.
And while we're on the topic, here's
another love story.
