Tell me what's so good about life

When I was a teenager, life seemed pretty terrible at the time. Ah, if only I knew the bitter truth that the future would bring as the golden chains of a job that pays decent but not great, would bring! Foolish idle youth!

If you are having serious problems and are serious about your issues, you need trained psychiatric help as your issues may come from a number of areas that may have nothing to do with what's going on in your life such as a chemical imbalance, a side effect from other medication or just good old winter blues.

In any case, do not hestitate to seek professional help. My fellow gamers are great for offering their bits and pieces of wisdom but for a serious issue, they are no replacement for a trained pro.
 

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G'day there.

I have been through this sort of thing from time to time over the last twenty-five years, and I have five really important things to tell you.

1. This will pass, and you will feel better, by and bye.

2. There is something you can do when you start feeling better that will very likely stop this from happening again, and at worst will make future attacks uncommon and not this bad. (It is called 'cognitive-behaviourl therapy'. Ask about it when you are well enough.)

3. Although you do in fact feel dreadful right now, the other, external things are not anything like so bad as they seem. There are other people who love you, not just your mother. Lots of people would miss you if you died, and some would be quite shattered. There are quite a few things that you are really quite good at, many worthwhile things that you could do. You aren't stupid, unlikeable, or unworthy. There is every prospect that you will be able to overcome challenges and live a full and rewarding life. What's more, if you think carefully about the things you have accomplished, and about the people you know, even now, even while you are feeling rotten, you will be able to see that this is true.

4. Your mother would be a lot worse than just sad if you died. She would be absolutely devastated. She would mourn for years, perhaps the rest of her life. So suicide is not a way out.

5. It would be worth your going to see a doctor. I don't find that anti-depressants are good (for me, at least) in the long term, they can be a great help in bad episodes like this.

And finally: people (such as myself) get through depression. So can you.

Regards,


Agback
 

JoeGKushner said:
...
In any case, do not hestitate to seek professional help. My fellow gamers are great for offering their bits and pieces of wisdom but for a serious issue, they are no replacement for a trained pro.

Joe is right on here.

If you get to feeling desperate, don't hesitate to look for professional advice. The people at this organization in your area can help you find what you feel you might need:

http://www.thecentersd.org/heidorn.htm
 

I have had bouts of depression, heck we probably all have but you ask what is so good about life....
kids
family
friends
pets
accomplishments

The future, it may have more bumps, but I would not have had it any other way!

Go talk to someone and know that it does get better.
 

JoeGKushner said:
In any case, do not hestitate to seek professional help. My fellow gamers are great for offering their bits and pieces of wisdom but for a serious issue, they are no replacement for a trained pro.

You are right. But my experience of severe depression is that when I was ill I could not bring myself to all the trouble of making an appointmment, dragging myself in to the surgery, sitting for ages in the waiting room, and confronting a doctor who I feared would be skeptical, brusque, and possibly dismissive. All these things are in fact trivial, and doctors are not dismissive about major depressive episodes, but they seem overwhelming when one is lying in bed in a black funk.

Going to see a doctor would be a really good move for Uzumaki. Getting an informed differential diagnosis is a high priority. So let's not heap derision on the people who are trying to help him or her pull himself or herself together enough to get there.

Uzumaki ought to go and see a doctor. The first step is to stay alive until the appointment. The first step to that is to recognise that life is not so bad, the future is not so bleak, and suicide is not such a clean escape, as they seem to be when one is depressed.

Okay?


Agback
 

Gaming. Somedays it is the only thing that keeps me going at work. Hmmm, well that and my love for my cats (and their love for me). And My Mom. And my Friends. And Stargate SG-1. And Angel. And the dim hope for a return of Farscap and Firefly.

And no I am not making light of your despair. I hate walking up. I hate my days on this wrecked earth. However I refuse to let it get me in the end. So I make up little reasons, things to help cope and push on.

Oh yeah, I forgot one thing that helps, EnWorld and message boards like it.
 

If your in a Western nation, marketing will be telling you that you can't be happy unless you have this and that. That you'll be inferior.
They're lying, manipulative f*(&ks who deliberately set out to create a contrast your life can never match up to so you might be convinced to buy their product.

Turn off the tv, or at least mute the ads. It will remove one source of stress from your life.
Stop watching news. The only reason to watch is to find out what's going on in the world around you, so that you can do something to help what's going wrong. You can't help others until you've helped yourself.

And I hate to say it, but it seems the News is trying to fill the public with Fear.

Find things you enjoy doing, or things you remember enjoying doing. Try them again and make sure that while you're doing them, your living in that moment, not worrying about the concerns of tomorrow or the past.

I don't know what you think meditation is, but in it's purest form it is time set aside to take stock of yourself, your body, your mind. To find what's important & let the lesser things slide off to one side for a while- not oblivion but a relaxed state of mental alertness.
If nothing else, it's something you can try with less finality than suicide- ie you can hit the Back button. I'm learning from & recommend a book called "Teach Yourself to Meditate" by Eric Harrison.

There is a whole lot of stuff in the world that is s*&t. That when you find out about you wish with all your heart you could change, but know you can't.
At those times, remember that you are only responsible for your actions- what you do with your life. What others choose to do, you can't change. You can try to persuade them, but you can't make anyone else listen.

And if you think that there is one special person out there who you could be happy with- your wrong. Although most people are very hard to get to know because they are afraid & defensive, inside everyone is something beautiful- just understand that sometimes that something beautiful thinks it needs thorns to protect itself- and that if you don't try to understand that for them, noone will.

Sorry for preaching, but these are all things that helped me come back from a very bad place.
I guess the biggest thing is to remember that noone can know everything. You can never understand anyone else's motivations fully unless you are them. heck, people are rarely self-aware enough to understand their own motivations. The world is not malicious, it's random. It's confused. But you don't have to be, as long as you understand yourself.
And whatever your religion, a pretty wise guy said what every other faith tries to say, but religion often loses along the way- "Love one another." And the first step to that is understanding one another.

Hang in there. Tomorrow's another day where anything could happen. And something WILL happen if you go looking for it rather than waiting for it to come to you.
 

Uzumaki said:
So, for her sake, please tell me why I need to keep waking up every day, because I just don't want to anymore.
Because you get to live in San Diego, where it's 70 degrees and beautiful everyday, and not the moon, where it's never been 70 degrees and the weather can best be described as "non-existent"?

:D

You don't get to laugh at anything when you're dead. You also don't get to laugh at anything when you're a member of al Qaeda. You don't want people to think you're in al Qaeda, do you?
 


I think in my experience, I don't really expect unbridled joy at all times.

Happiness is reserved for special occasions. Most of my life is spent in kind of an emotional "neutral" gear. I'm functional, but I don't recall any specifically great feelings.

Those come from action. Doing things that I enjoy (Gaming, socializing, screwing, travelling) causes me to feel good.

I keep hearing this kind of thing from my parent's generation (baby boomers); whinging complaints that they just don't feel "happy" at all times, and I'm like "well no :):):):)!" why would you?

I don't think that's our default setting.

Is it?

I think Look A Unicorn's advice is very practical, but I think everyone who said go see a psychiatrist was giving you the gospel.
 
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