Tell me what's so good about life

[Aristotle]

Wow... I feel a need to respond here, although I don't know what I can offer that has not already been mentioned.

From the tone of your message I would have to assume you suffer from depression, and it sounds like your in a rough spot currently. I'm not going to patronize you and say I've felt just like you. Depression, as any of us who suffer from it can attest, is a very personal thing.

Others have suggested seeking professional help. That is excellent advice. I know how weird it is to talk about these things with a stranger, but it can lead you out of that dark place you are in. Even if it doesn't feel like it is helping the first few times. Stick with it.

Depression can be an illness like any other. It could be a problem that requires medication. That doesn't make you weak, it just means you need a little help getting better. For my own, admittedly mild, depression I take St. John's Wort. You can get it at most any herbal remedy type store. Of course I'm not a doctor and am not qualified to tell you what medication you should or should not take.

I was in a rough spot a few years back, and I followed some advice that really helped me. Get out of your routine. I don't know your situation, but try to do some stuff you don't normally do. If you spend most of your time indoors, take a walk or go to a local park. If you only read dark fantasy or murder mysteries, try reading something a little more humorous. Get involved with a new hobby that isn't related to any of your current ones. Break out of the day to day grind and try to experience something different.

Dark times pass. I promise. And, while nobody can know exactly how you feel, you are not alone in this world. There are lots of us out here who struggle with ourselves and the lives we live. You are not alone.

 

[Greatwyrm]

There has been more than one time in my life where I've said practically the exact same thing to myself, Uzumaki. All I can say is, no matter how bad life seems, if you give it time to turn around, it can be just as good.

This next part is going to seem like some lame attempt at humor. Please don't think that it is. I mean this in all seriousness.

My cousin, who's a farmer, and I were once discussing various animals he'd raised. As the discussion moved along, we got on to the topic of how patently stupid sheep are. There are a number of reasons for this, but there's one that really stuck with me. He said he'd actually seen sheep who were trying to give birth simply get too tired and give up pushing. When that happens, the sheep almost always dies.

It didn't really dawn on me until later how truly unnatural this is. One instinct nearly all animals share is a desire to continue the species and protect their young, at any cost. To disobey the body's automatic desire to carry out its functions is just not right.

Where I'm trying to go with this is, you can't be like the sheep. You can't just get tired of pushing and lay down to die. Looking at how my life has turned around, I'm glad I'm mentally tougher than your average sheep. I'm willing to bet you're tough enough to push just a little more, too.

Check back in with us soon and let us know how you're doing. And please, talk to your family, minister, counsellor, or whoever. Don't trap yourself in your own mind.

 

[d20Dwarf]

Lost a long post, but this is important enough to type it again.


When I found myself in a similar state of mind some years back, I went online to research suicide prevention hotlines. I read all I could about them, and once I had learned enough I called one. I kept telling the girl on the other end what she was supposed to tell me next, correcting her when she broke one of the counselling rules, and generally having fun with her. It didn't make me feel any better, but it made me smile a bit, and in the end it got me through what was the worst night of my life. After that, I started to cope a little.

Billy's wisdom is quite perceptive, happiness cannot be a constant state. Sometimes you can go through a happiness drought of sorts, but as everyone else has said things will get better. In the meantime, try to focus yourself onto something else, perhaps something that doesn't provide happiness or sadness, but is fulfilling nonetheless. Life doesn't exist on the happiness axis alone. If it did, I'd be screwed, because I hate working.

In the end it would be a shame to waste your life by ending it. No matter what your beliefs are, you only get one pass through in this world. Me, I'm trying to experience as much of it as possible, both the good and the bad. When you have a bad feeling, or something goes wrong, just mark it off as a part of life and move on to something better. is going to happen...let it, it's no big deal in the long run. That's not to trivialize what can happen, because there are some truly awful things in the world, but in the end it's just what life has thrown your way, and there are plenty of experiences to be had. The past is just that, you should concern yourself with the present and the future.

*steeles his fingers* Stop seeking happiness, Uzumaki, and happiness shall seek you *falls off the mountain*

Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

 

[Camarath]

If you are feeling desperate I think you definitely should talk to someone. I went through a lot of pain and put the people who loved me through a lot of pain before I learned to reach out and ask for help. I have found that the more I keep my pain inside the more it grows and the less I am able to confront or deal with it. I can not give you a reason to live and I am not sure than anyone else can either. I think you will have to find your own reason but other people can help you deal with pain of being alive.

 

[Mercule]

Uzumaki, definitely talk to someone. Your mom, a teacher, a friend, anyone. People do care and you are not alone.

I'd specifically add to the list pastor, priest, rabbi, or whatever may be appropriate to you. I can only speak for the pastor end of things, but these guys are great at answering just this sort of question. Strongly religious people have a love of life that is amazing.

I know that religion is one of the things that saw me through my "dark" period. Which is funny, because I wasn't exactly acting in a manner particularly appropriate to my faith (I'm Christian, FWIW). The other thing was pure bull-headedness. I sure wasn't getting much help from those around me -- of course, I wasn't asking, either.

 

[sluggo the sleazebag]

Uzumaki...

Your concern for your mother is well-placed. My brother commited suicide 15 years ago and it utterly destroyed my parents, especially my mother. She was a gentle, loving person who only thought of others, but she has blamed herself for my brother's death ever since he chose to leave us. What's more, her catholic beliefs place him squarely in the fires of hell and nothing she can do will alleviate the pain of knowing her youngest son burns for an eternity in which she will never see him again. I have watched her slowly disintegrate for fifteen years and, even now, it's still very difficult to forgive my brother for the choice he made...

But then, part of acknowledging individuality is respecting a person's autonomy; their freedom to choose whatever course in life that they wish. The downside of that is witnessing the consequences people leave in the wake of those choices. Personally, I believe you should live because that is what you want to do, but if you can't do it for yourself, consider the soul-wrenching guilt your mother will carry to her grave after you depart this world.

 

[Nightfall]

Because if nothing else, you get to rattle me down for acting like an SL fool. But on a more serious note, about 5-6 years ago I made my attempt. And while I was doing it I came to realize the important of me. I say this not out pride or ego. But in the realization that in the scale of all things, me is important. Because when I'm not me, I'm not here. And there are plenty of things in life that are worth doing. Listening to a piece by Mozart. Going to see paintings by Cezanne and other impressionists. Reading Shakespeare. Being able to taste of an apple from the real apple tree. I know when its despair that gripes you, you forget these things. But they are important. The bigger the demon, the stronger it feels. But it's all an illusion. It all passes. The only true reality is you.

 

[Steverooo]

Tell me what's so good about life

Because I've honestly forgotten.

What's good about life?

Love. Joy, peace, longsuffering (although it doesn't feel like it, when YOU'RE the one going through it), gentleness, meekness, self-control, faith...
Friendship.

"What's good" is an awfully subjective thing, though... Some of the ones I like include:

Summer rains,
sunlight,
clear, starry nights,
breezes,
warm, happy smiles,
honest laughter,
KITTENS!,
Cats,
Pizza,
Hugs,
Smooches,
Grace (unmeritted favor),
Seeing long-lost friends, again,
Making new friends,
Pretty girls (although I guess "cute guys" works for some people),
Good books,
Quiet places,
Streams,
Warm fires, when it's damp,
Hot tea (on a cold day),
Iced tea (on a hot day),
Diet Coke with my (hot) pizza...

...and combinations of the above work well, too... Like getting together somewhere with old friends, meeting some new ones (one of whom is a pretty girl), having some diet coke and pizza, then sitting in a breezy, sunlit place to watch a cat and her kittens, and later building a fire by the stream and sitting back to watch the stars...

Of course, your tastes may vary from mine...

I just want to die. The only time when I don't feel that way is when I'm asleep. I'm so tired; tired of feeling this way, tired of crying, tired of everything. I'm so sorry for my mom, because she's so wonderful and she's got a kid like me, who's always feeling so terrible and guilty over nothing. She doesn't deserve it, but she'd be sad if I died. This is the only thing stopping me right now.

So, for her sake, please tell me why I need to keep waking up every day, because I just don't want to anymore.

I don't know what you're feeling guilty about, you didn't say. It can't be for feeling terrible... Y'wanna talk about it?

You need to keep waking up, every day, for a lot of reasons. Because your Mom loves you. Because God loves you. Because your friends love you, and would miss you, and wonder why you decided to leave them. Because they'd feel bad, too, and wonder why Uz didn't tell us what was wrong, before... And then maybe some of them would feel the same way you do, now...

Because, while there's life, there's always hope. It's hard to see it, in the dark, in the middle of the night, but then... it's hard to see ANYTHING, in the dark! Sooner or later, though, the Elven battlecry rings true: "Aure enteluva!"; "Day shall come, again!"

...And suddenly, the world seems much brighter...

IMHO, Kai Lord had some good advice. If things seem so broken that they can't be fixed, try taking them to the Master of Broken Things, before throwing them away as useless and broken.

Haveya heard the story of the auctioneer, holding up the old fiddle? Thought he'd be lucky to get five bucks for the beat up old thang... He started the auction, and was getting low bids, like he thought. Then a Master Violinist stands up, comes forward, rosins up the bow, and plays on the beat up old violin... And the price jumps.

What made the difference, some in the audience ask? The touch of the Master's hand, the talespinner replies...

More down to earth, there was once a broken-down old folding table, sitting in the trash-heap, waiting for the garbage truck to come along and take it to the dump... Along comes Ranger Rick, and sees it sitting there. He sees the extendable legs on the table, and thinks "Hey, I could make a hiking stick out of that!", so he carefully removes it, fixes it up, and carries it with him, to this day.

It's no longer a folding table, but it has a new use. One a table leg would never dream of... Is it happier? (Heh!) It's a table-leg-cum-hiking-stick! What does it know? In any case, it didn't go to the dump, and it's serving a perfectly good use, even if it isn't holding up a pile of stuff on a table!

Given my 'druthers, I'druther be the hiking stick!

Anyway, I notice you haven't posted in a while... I wish you would, so we know you're still okay... If you want to tell us what's up with you, and why you're feeling guilty, that'd be great. If not, well, that's okay... Post anyway!

So, what's goin' on withya? Are you okay?

 

[WitheringSolid]

Dear Uzumaki,

Having worked briefly in the mental health field, as a phone aid for a crisis/suicide hotline, I can tell you that what you are feeling is by no means unusual. Although I am not a psychiatrist, it DOES sound like you have a full blown case of clinical depression. It has been mentioned in here and it bears repeating...Seek help...There is no need to suffer like you are. Some people get very upset at the idea of medication for depression, but nobody gets upset at putting a cast on a broken arm. This what meds are for....to help your brain heal correctly. Dont worry about the cost...If you go to an emergency room and tell them you are wanting to take your life, the HAVE to admit you and treat you. Don't wait, you can start feeling better VERY SOON. You are in my prayers too

 

[RangerWickett]

I won't lie. I want to pry into your personal life and learn everything that's going wrong so I can hopefully tell you something from my own experience that will help. Who are you? How old are you? What is so bad that you're depressed?

I love you. You've been a good enough person to ask for help, and helping each other is what brings people and communities together. You've made us feel good about ourselves that we have the chance to help you, so you've done good.

Why don't you tell us? What's good about life?