Tell me what's so good about life

[shilsen]

What is good in life? To slay your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

Oh, come on - somebody had to say it

That being said, here's my serious answer. Along with my statutory warning: Everything that I say here is personal opinion. It works brilliantly for me. I think it should work for everyone. And it doesn't. If you're anywhere close to a "normal" human being (and the fact that you're depressed indicates that you very probably are), stop reading here and go to the next post on this thread.

There. That being said...

There is nothing inherently good about life. Nothing, zilch, zappo. Emphasis on inherently. But what is completely incredible about life is that you can make just about everything about it worthwhile, if you choose to approach it and invest yourself in it with the right attitude.

Everybody on these boards sits around and plays a game where you put yourself in the shoes of a fictional character, in a world that doesn't exist, and roll weird multi-sided pieces of plastic with numbers on them to decided if your fake character gets to succeed at doing fake things in that fake world. How stupid is that? Right? Wrong. Because when you bring a certain attitude to the table, indulging in this oh-so-weird activity creates pleasure and camaraderie, makes us laugh, lets us exercise our imagination, and create glorious stories that we will remember for years to come (drop by the Story hour forum if you don't believe me).

The same is true for life. I have to disagree with a lot of posters and say that life isn't good because somebody else loves you or because you matter to other people. If you don't matter to you, having the whole world think you're wonderful does absolutely nothing. I think happiness is the natural state of being for anyone, and not being happy is a waste of time. But what makes you happy differs from person to person, and it's up to you to work it out. And nobody else can ever tell you how to do it. I'm the happiest person I know by a very far stretch, and the reason for it is that I sat down and worked out what makes me happy, what kind of work will keep me interested, how I would like to interact with people, where I would like to be, and so on. And then I got up and did all of the above.

I know that it's a wonderful world out there. I live on a big rock that flies around in space and circles a big ball of fire, without ever falling down. How incredibly cool is that? I interact with people on a day-to-day basis and even though we can never ever really know what we are thinking, we're capable of communicating a good part of it to each other on the basis of some compeltely arbitrary sounds we exchange. Amazing! I can juggle two balls at a time (so I'm really bad - sue me!), taste a really juicy rare beef steak, read Shakespeare and Calvin and Hobbes, and TPK the PCs. Who'da thunk? And it's a beautiful world because I know what makes it tick, and I choose to be part of that on my own terms.

In short, nobody can tell you what makes life good. Your family, your friends, your colleagues, your religious figure, your drug of choice, are all going to solve it for some time, but not permanent. You have to find out for yourself. Pull up a chair, sit down for a couple of hours, and think about what it might be that gives you pleasure. Think about whether you are who you want to be, and if not, work out what you need to do to be it. And then just do it. Life is simple, but it isn't easy.

And if you're really, really sure that there's absolutely nothing worthwhile in life, walk off a cliff. It'll hurt less in the long run. For you and everyone around you. But before you decide to do that, really, really think about it. Life is too beautiful a thing to waste - or not appreciate.

P.S. If the mods feel this isn't exactly appropriate, please feel free to edit/delete. Just my $0.02, after all.

 

[Gallo22]

You wanted a reason...

all I have to say, aside from that has not been said above, is to look at all the people in this community that cares and loves you! With the caring and friendship you are seeing here, imagine the concern and caring if you talk to your mom, friends or teacher.

Many people in life care you (us) but may not always have the time to show you (us). They may not know something is wrong or out of place. Please talk to someone at home, anyone. Your mom, a friend, teacher or the priest down the road, anyone who you feel comfortable with.

I'm a parent of 3 children and I would always want them to come to me in their time of need. I truely know that your mom feels the same way! All of us parents do.

All my best and caring...a father.

edit: ps: don't listed to that idiot above about walking off a cliff if you can't find something to live for. There is always something to live for. You have value. Value as a friend to us on EN World, value as a son to your mother, value as a friend to your neighbors and someday value as a father to your children.

Go with God...my friend.

 

[JPL]

Man, it gets better. You just have some chemicals misfiring in your head right now. You can treat it medically to take the edge off, you can treat it spiritually, you can see a counselor...you have options.

Please keep in contact here.

 

[Storminator]

One of my best friends had his brother commit suicide almost 20 years ago. When I was feeling down I mentioned feeling suicidal to him, and he told me "you don't have the right."

It's not your life. It's all of ours, in proportion to how much we interact/know/love you. If you're gone, all who touch your life will suffer. All you might ever touch will suffer.

I married a woman I didn't even know at the time of my crisis. I adopted her son. I've raised him for the last 8 years. How was I to know then of my importance to him? How could I have measured my worth at that point, without knowing I would be so valuable later?

So I say to you: you don't have the right.

PS

 

[GravyFingerz]

Oh man, I know how you feel. For the longest time in my life, I felt alone, unwanted, and like a horrible person. Finally, recently, me and one of my closest friends as well as my spiritual guide, sat down and talked about my life. I told her things I would rather not talk about here; regrets and bad memories. She helped me realize that even though I carried these, I am a good person. And now, I have a zest for life I've never felt for so long. I am happy with myself, and happy with my life, and have never felt better. And from here, who knows what heights I can reach.

You should keep on going because of your own spiritual growth. It's one of the most important things in your life. You foster this growth through love. Because of my friend, I've cultivated a love of all people and a compassion I've been ignoring. The ability to love people, simple selfless love. Love is like the force ( ), it binds us all together. Without love, we would be a pretty pathetic race. You may think you're not worth it, or you may be alone forever, or what not, but the truth is you're loved. People here have shown their love through their advice and support. Your mother loves you, like you can't understand until you have your own children.

Trust me, keep living. It may seem down, but it will get better. And then you will look back at this as a learning experience. Learn something from every experience. Life is wonderful in all it's forms, enjoy every moment. When your life goes back on track and you are happy, you will be glad you decided to wake up in the morning

 

[Remathilis]

Uzumaki,

[Yoda] Listen to these people, you will! [/yoda]

I hope you come back and respond, just to let us know your listening. I think the outpouring of support on a public message board should show this is one stage long and wonderful life. Your preception colors your reality.

Talk with your mom first, if you're close enough, she'll understand.

Lastly, some words of inspiraton...

Sam: "I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are."

"It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were.
And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to
the way it was when so much bad had happened."
"But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come.
And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer."

"Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why.
But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t.
Because they were holding on to something."

Frodo: "What are we holding on to, Sam?"

Sam: "That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for."

 

[Ashrem Bayle]

For one thing, tomorrow. You never know what tomorrow will bring, man. Great blessing, possibly more trials. If its blessing, great, if its a trial, then when its over you'll be able to help others like yourself that follow.

God has a plan for your life, and if you accept Jesus as your savior not only will you have the comfort of the Holy Spirit in this life, but a happy ending no matter what in the next. Hang in there bro, my heart and prayers go out to you.

I just want to second this. Good advice here.

My father commited suicide on Valentines day four years ago. I loved him to death, and I still do, but a part of me will always hate him for leaving us like that. Just think about that before you consider ending your own life. If you really love your mother, suicide isn't even something you should consider. Don't be that selfish.

 

[Arnwyn]

As others have mentioned, and I agree with them: see a doctor.

You do sound like you have a case of clinical depression.

The cool thing is, is that it can be fixed (in some cases very easily) and you'll feel much better.

Help is out there and available for you - you just have to seek it.

 

[LadyIslay]

The Meaning of Life

I don't post on the forums much. Well, not at all really. I chat in the chat room. Someone else that chats there was recently asking the same question. "Why bother getting up in the morning? What is there to live for?"

I ask myself these things frequently. I deal with depression too. Here is one thing I read when I was about 16 that has never left me. It might be kind of long, but it is worth the read.

At the last session on the last morning of a two-week seminar on Greek culture, led by intellectuals and experts in their fields who were recruited by Papaderos from across Greece, Papaderos rose from his chair at the back of the room and walked to the front, where he stood in the bright Greek sunlight of an open window and looked out. We followed his gaze across the bay to the iron cross marking the German cemetery.

He turned. And made the ritual gesture: "Are there any questions?"

Quiet quilted the room. These two weeks had generated enough questions for a lifetime, but for now there was only silence.

"No questions?" Papaderos swept the room with his eyes.

So. I asked.

"Dr. Papaderos, what is the meaning of life?"

The usual laughter followed, and people stirred to go.

Papaderos held up his hand and stilled the room and looked at me for a long time, asking with his eyes if I was serious and seeing from my eyes that I was.

"I will answer your question."

Taking his wallet out of his hip pocket, he fished into a leather billfold and brought out a very small round mirror, about the size of a quarter.

And what he said went like this:

"When I was a small child, during the war, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. One day, on the road, I found the broken pieces of a mirror. A German motorcycle had been wrecked in that place.

"I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible, so I kept only the largest piece. This one. And by scratching it on a stone I made it round. I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by the fact that I could reflect light into dark places where the sun would never shine -- in deep holes and crevices and dark closets. It became a game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places I could find.

"I kept the little mirror, and as I went about my growing up, I would take it out in idle moments and continue the challenge of the game. As I became a man, I grew to understand that this was not just a child's game but a metaphor for what I might do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of light. But light -- truth, understanding, knowledge -- is there, and it will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it.

"I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have I can reflect light into the dark places of this world -- into the black places in the hearts of men -- and change some things in some people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of my life."

And then he took his small mirror and, holding it carefully, caught the bright rays of daylight streaming through the window and reflected them onto my face and onto my hands folded on the desk.

-- Robert Fulghum from "It was on fire when I lay down on it"

If that doesn't work, give me a shout in the IRC room, and I'll sing you a rendition of "You'll Never Walk Alone" that will make your spine tingle. I hope I was able to shine a little light from my own mirror on you.

 

[Rel]

I hope I was able to shine a little light from my own mirror on you.

I just had to post and say that was amazing. What a great anecdote. Thanks for sharing that.

I now know what I'm getting my daughter for her next birthday.