Tell me what's so good about life
- Thread starter Uzumaki
- Start date
tleilaxu said:
When a person has a severed artery, he or she needs the help of a qualified vascular surgeon. But he or she won't survive long enough to get to the surgeon unless whoever is nearest applied direct pressure to the bleeder.
Similarly, suicidal thoughts in deep depression are a psychiatric emergency, and they call for immediate 'first aid'. At this point, Uzumaki needs help to hold it together long enough to get to professional help.
So please try to adopt a more supportive tone.
Regards,
Agback
Cthulhu's Librarian
First Post
What's good about life?
Well, the fact that you've made an impact on the people posting here is something to start with. Most,if not all of us, don't know you, yet we are here expressing our concern for you. That says a lot, in my opinion.
Don't give up. Talk to someone, whomever that may be for you-your mother, a religious/spiritual leader, a teacher, a doctor. They will listen, and they will help you.
There are plenty of things to look forward to-a book, a movie, a game, hiking, going to the zoo, snow, rain, sunny days, and much more.
Take care of yourself, and please let us know how you are doing. We care.
Best,
Rich
Well, the fact that you've made an impact on the people posting here is something to start with. Most,if not all of us, don't know you, yet we are here expressing our concern for you. That says a lot, in my opinion.
Don't give up. Talk to someone, whomever that may be for you-your mother, a religious/spiritual leader, a teacher, a doctor. They will listen, and they will help you.
There are plenty of things to look forward to-a book, a movie, a game, hiking, going to the zoo, snow, rain, sunny days, and much more.
Take care of yourself, and please let us know how you are doing. We care.
Best,
Rich
Other people have mentioned some very good reasons for staying alive. Caring about your family and friends, knowing that you're not thinking rationally, realizing that things will improve, being responsible enough to avoid making others lives worse, or just not having giving up as part of your self-image.
Another one that nobody mentions is fear, and it was (ironically) one of the biggest factors in keeping me alive when I was depressed enough to attempt suicide. Not just fear of killing myself (which did stop me once or twice when I got to the point of having a knife against my throat), but also the fear of failing. I didn't want to have to look at people and have them know that I had tried to kill myself. Plus, I'm enough of a control freak that I certainly didn't want to wind up in involuntary psych care. 96% of suicides attempts fail (701K of 730K attempts per year in the US).
Yeah, I'm another one of those people who was suicidal, eventually got treatment, and is now a fairly happy person. I even like myself, most days. I'm sure you're thrilled for me.
One thing I learned to do, when I was depressed, was worry about someone else. Even when I felt terrible about myself, I always still had empathy. I still cared about my friends, and if I could involve myself in trying to solve their problems, I frequently forgot about my own... at least long enough that when I did think about them, I was in better shape to deal with them, and feeling like I had done something good and been a good person. Hopefully, you still care about other people, too.
I'm likely not doing much good here. Having a hard time finding the words, today. Good luck, my thoughts are with you.
. . . . . . . -- Eric
Another one that nobody mentions is fear, and it was (ironically) one of the biggest factors in keeping me alive when I was depressed enough to attempt suicide. Not just fear of killing myself (which did stop me once or twice when I got to the point of having a knife against my throat), but also the fear of failing. I didn't want to have to look at people and have them know that I had tried to kill myself. Plus, I'm enough of a control freak that I certainly didn't want to wind up in involuntary psych care. 96% of suicides attempts fail (701K of 730K attempts per year in the US).
Yeah, I'm another one of those people who was suicidal, eventually got treatment, and is now a fairly happy person. I even like myself, most days. I'm sure you're thrilled for me.
One thing I learned to do, when I was depressed, was worry about someone else. Even when I felt terrible about myself, I always still had empathy. I still cared about my friends, and if I could involve myself in trying to solve their problems, I frequently forgot about my own... at least long enough that when I did think about them, I was in better shape to deal with them, and feeling like I had done something good and been a good person. Hopefully, you still care about other people, too.
I'm likely not doing much good here. Having a hard time finding the words, today. Good luck, my thoughts are with you.
. . . . . . . -- Eric
BSF
Explorer
Uzumaki said:
Because you aren't alone.
Because more people care about you then you think.
Because tomorrow will always bring new experiences and new possibilities.
Because there are sunsets and sunrises, rain showers, dew on the early morning grass, the moon, the stars, clouds, waterfalls, wild flowers in the meadow, flowers in the garden, you can laugh, you can cry, you can love and be loved, because there are so many, so very many, wonderful experiences to be had in life. Even if you don't feel like that at this moment, they are still there, waiting for you.
If you can't see the light at the end of whatever tunnel you are standing in, find somebody that can help. Anybody that can help! Pick up the phone and call a hotline.
1-800-784-2433 National Hopeline Network
1-800-479-3339 San Diego United Behavioral Health Access & Crisis Line
Don't worry about the long names. The point is that there are people on the other side of the phone that want to talk to you and want to help you. Call them now, if you can't dial the number, ask somebody to help you dial the number. Email me or AIM me and I will help get somebody to call you if that would be easier.
Look_a_Unicorn
First Post
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Uzumaki
Because I've honestly forgotten.
I just want to die. The only time when I don't feel that way is when I'm asleep. I'm so tired; tired of feeling this way, tired of crying, tired of everything. I'm so sorry for my mom, because she's so wonderful and she's got a kid like me, who's always feeling so terrible and guilty over nothing. She doesn't deserve it, but she'd be sad if I died. This is the only thing stopping me right now.
So, for her sake, please tell me why I need to keep waking up every day, because I just don't want to anymore.
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I posted my thoughts early in this thread's existance, and came back to the thread in the hopes of... I'm not sure? That you had had a chance to respond?
Reading what everyone has posted in this thread, I have to say thankyou- to you Uzumaki. You have managed to help everyone else just by reaching out & asking for some help. I think it will hold true for everyone that posted & most who read this thread that they will be reminded that people do care, that there is more than the day-to-day blur of habitual activities. That they aren't the only ones who would bend over backwards to help someone they've never met before, just because they need it.
Your question forced (helped?) me to take a step back & take stock- as it undoubtedly will for many others. So thankyou for helping me- reminding me that apathy & assumptions are my worst enemies..
I just hope that we have helped you in turn.
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Originally Posted by Uzumaki
Because I've honestly forgotten.
I just want to die. The only time when I don't feel that way is when I'm asleep. I'm so tired; tired of feeling this way, tired of crying, tired of everything. I'm so sorry for my mom, because she's so wonderful and she's got a kid like me, who's always feeling so terrible and guilty over nothing. She doesn't deserve it, but she'd be sad if I died. This is the only thing stopping me right now.
So, for her sake, please tell me why I need to keep waking up every day, because I just don't want to anymore.
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I posted my thoughts early in this thread's existance, and came back to the thread in the hopes of... I'm not sure? That you had had a chance to respond?
Reading what everyone has posted in this thread, I have to say thankyou- to you Uzumaki. You have managed to help everyone else just by reaching out & asking for some help. I think it will hold true for everyone that posted & most who read this thread that they will be reminded that people do care, that there is more than the day-to-day blur of habitual activities. That they aren't the only ones who would bend over backwards to help someone they've never met before, just because they need it.
Your question forced (helped?) me to take a step back & take stock- as it undoubtedly will for many others. So thankyou for helping me- reminding me that apathy & assumptions are my worst enemies..
I just hope that we have helped you in turn.
You know what, people?... I don't think this is working... No responces, no replies...
I clicked on the View Profile & Send Uzumaki an E-mail links... We'll see if that gets any response.
If I were a Mod (which I'm not), I would already have looked up the IP address this came in over (but that's just me). We're all going to feel pretty bad, if we find out something happened.
Maybe we could flood his (her?) Inbox, or something. Nothin' says we care like an overflowin' Inbox!
I clicked on the View Profile & Send Uzumaki an E-mail links... We'll see if that gets any response.
If I were a Mod (which I'm not), I would already have looked up the IP address this came in over (but that's just me). We're all going to feel pretty bad, if we find out something happened.
Maybe we could flood his (her?) Inbox, or something. Nothin' says we care like an overflowin' Inbox!
re
I have a friend who is "clinically" depressed. Medication has done very little for him because life circumstances haven't changed. Life circumstances often cause depression and cannot be changed by medication. About the only thing medication will do for you is dull your mental and emotional state to the point where you may not be as sad or happy as you were before. Medication is more like painkillers for a broken arm rather than a cure.
If perhaps you could give information on the circumstances of your life that you feel might be causing your depressed state, more insight could be offered. It's probably best that you find a local counselor.
Ultimately, it is through human interaction and kindness that you might be able to feel better. We uplift we each other to a great degree and some people need more uplifting than others.
I'm not sure where you are from, but America is hard a place to find help in because society is fast paced and lacks compassion quite often. We've decided its better to pawn folks off to the doctors or the church for help rather than spend the time to help a person feel better in a local community.
I've a friend currently suffering from depression who is probably in exactly the same circumstances you are: he is staying alive for his mother and sister. The man's father ran out on the family years ago and isn't helpful. He feels alot of stress to take his father's place but hasn't been able to successfully. He has take social drugs and pretty much engaged in self-destructive behavior his entire life. He has been babied by his mother to the point of being unable to care for himself. None of this has helped, and has only led to the constantly depressed state he finds himself in now.
It's real important that you do an inventory of your personal life. Start taking control of it.
Life can be very rough and depressing, especially when it seems to bring no joy, just day after day of struggling to survive with no hope or happiness.
We find happiness in other people, our parents, friends, children, or even strangers at times. I would really recommend entering group therapy sessions, joining a church that does volunteer work or offers plenty of extracirricular activities, or perhaps a secular volunteer service. Keeping busy helps escape the pit of depression, but the only way to fully heal depression is to change your life circumstances.
I have a friend who is "clinically" depressed. Medication has done very little for him because life circumstances haven't changed. Life circumstances often cause depression and cannot be changed by medication. About the only thing medication will do for you is dull your mental and emotional state to the point where you may not be as sad or happy as you were before. Medication is more like painkillers for a broken arm rather than a cure.
If perhaps you could give information on the circumstances of your life that you feel might be causing your depressed state, more insight could be offered. It's probably best that you find a local counselor.
Ultimately, it is through human interaction and kindness that you might be able to feel better. We uplift we each other to a great degree and some people need more uplifting than others.
I'm not sure where you are from, but America is hard a place to find help in because society is fast paced and lacks compassion quite often. We've decided its better to pawn folks off to the doctors or the church for help rather than spend the time to help a person feel better in a local community.
I've a friend currently suffering from depression who is probably in exactly the same circumstances you are: he is staying alive for his mother and sister. The man's father ran out on the family years ago and isn't helpful. He feels alot of stress to take his father's place but hasn't been able to successfully. He has take social drugs and pretty much engaged in self-destructive behavior his entire life. He has been babied by his mother to the point of being unable to care for himself. None of this has helped, and has only led to the constantly depressed state he finds himself in now.
It's real important that you do an inventory of your personal life. Start taking control of it.
Life can be very rough and depressing, especially when it seems to bring no joy, just day after day of struggling to survive with no hope or happiness.
We find happiness in other people, our parents, friends, children, or even strangers at times. I would really recommend entering group therapy sessions, joining a church that does volunteer work or offers plenty of extracirricular activities, or perhaps a secular volunteer service. Keeping busy helps escape the pit of depression, but the only way to fully heal depression is to change your life circumstances.
Ogre Mage
Hero
Uzumaki:
I am sending a wave of positive prayers in your direction that you will find the strength to soldier on through the difficult time you are having.
I'm sure you don't want to die; you are just tired of being in so much pain. Do your friends and family around you know that you feel this way? There are lots of things you could do to help you cope with your feelings. This could include talking with a counselor, priest or someone you really trust, taking anti-depressant medication, joining a support group and many other things. Whatever you feel will help you cope. Don't give up and keep trying until you find something that works for you. Once you start finding a way to manage your pain, I'm sure you will feel much better. Please don't harm yourself.
And to answer your question -- hope is what's good about life.
I am sending a wave of positive prayers in your direction that you will find the strength to soldier on through the difficult time you are having.
I'm sure you don't want to die; you are just tired of being in so much pain. Do your friends and family around you know that you feel this way? There are lots of things you could do to help you cope with your feelings. This could include talking with a counselor, priest or someone you really trust, taking anti-depressant medication, joining a support group and many other things. Whatever you feel will help you cope. Don't give up and keep trying until you find something that works for you. Once you start finding a way to manage your pain, I'm sure you will feel much better. Please don't harm yourself.
And to answer your question -- hope is what's good about life.
LazerPointer
First Post
The thing that keeps me going is music. I've gotten into some pretty dark holes, but I always had a lyric spinning round in my head that got me through it.
I'll paraphrase one idea I read that made me think:
Most of our thoughts have "me" or "I" behind them; "I shouldn't have said that," "How do I look to them," etc
So the exercise is to observe every thought that goes through your head; "I shouldn't have said that" rushes by, no need to judge it, no need for anything. Just watch. "Those conservatives in the Canucks forum think I'm crazy" (personal examples ) you don't need to do anything to fix anything; just watch.
And as you observe your thoughts, the question comes, who is doing the observing?
Are there two "I"s, one thinking and one watching the thinking?
Sometimes I decide to get more active, recognizing a thought as guilt, for exampe, and entering combat. I denounce it; it's a lie, a cheap trick, and I won't let it slip by this time. Of course I may the next time; the key in the entire process is to be easy on yourself. All that you have done in the past is enough. You are complete in the present.
Sending you love across the cyberwave,
LazerPointer
I'll paraphrase one idea I read that made me think:
Most of our thoughts have "me" or "I" behind them; "I shouldn't have said that," "How do I look to them," etc
So the exercise is to observe every thought that goes through your head; "I shouldn't have said that" rushes by, no need to judge it, no need for anything. Just watch. "Those conservatives in the Canucks forum think I'm crazy" (personal examples
) you don't need to do anything to fix anything; just watch.And as you observe your thoughts, the question comes, who is doing the observing?
Are there two "I"s, one thinking and one watching the thinking?
Sometimes I decide to get more active, recognizing a thought as guilt, for exampe, and entering combat. I denounce it; it's a lie, a cheap trick, and I won't let it slip by this time. Of course I may the next time; the key in the entire process is to be easy on yourself. All that you have done in the past is enough. You are complete in the present.
Sending you love across the cyberwave,
LazerPointer
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