D&D 5E Terrible Titles for a Xanathar Follow-up

[Undrave]

"Xanathar's Guide to Stuff I Only Noticed Was There After I Got Glasses"

 

[prabe]

"Xanathar's Guide to Stuff I Only Noticed Was There After I Got Glasses"

I'm trying to imagine a beholder's optician fees ...

 

[Zardnaar]

Random thought: if WotC decides to dip its corporate toe into the waters of releasing corporate themed alcoholic beverages, I might suggest they go with “Rye of the Beholder” with Xanathar’s image on the label.

Na they'll just slap it on an IPA.

Or Russia style 1-9. Xanathar 3 lager, Xanathar 6 Porter, 5 golden lager, 8 wheat beer etc.

May or may not have a can of Baltika 7.

 

[Undrave]

I'm trying to imagine a beholder's optician fees ...

The fee is "not being killed"

 

[prabe]

The fee is "not being killed"

That doesn't seem like a good way to keep the economy going, and thieves are arguably more dependent on the economy working than anyone else ... ;-)

 

[Undrave]

That doesn't seem like a good way to keep the economy going, and thieves are arguably more dependent on the economy working than anyone else ... ;-)

It is the sane and reasonable thing to do.

But Xanathar isn't sane...

 

[prabe]

It is the sane and reasonable thing to do.

But Xanathar isn't sane...

Xanathar kinda strikes me as an idiot, but writing a being as both brilliant and deranged is ... challenging.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I'm trying to imagine a beholder's optician fees ...

”Xanathar, it seems you’re nearsighted...and farsighted...crosseyed...have an astigmatism...2 cataracts...glaucoma...and a lazy eye. Normally, I’d recommend glasses or contact lenses for several of those conditions, but since you don’t have hands...or a nose...I’m going to have to fit you for a helmet.“

”But doc...”

“And while we’re at it, I’m referring you to my cousin- she‘s a dentist. I’m no expert, but a couple of your teeth look out of alignment. Chaotic, you might say. Welcome to the world of corrective headgear!”

 

[Eltab]

With a little work, we can get a three-point-attachment unigoggle for each of those eyestalks. With corrective lenses! Do not tell the beholder that they all have Dispel Magic perma-cast on them, directed inwards.

 

[Undrave]

With a little work, we can get a three-point-attachment unigoggle for each of those eyestalks. With corrective lenses! Do not tell the beholder that they all have Dispel Magic perma-cast on them, directed inwards.

Come to think of it... Shouldn't there be a 'Correct Vision' spell? Preferably with the Ritual Tag on it?