D&D 5E Terrible Titles for a Xanathar Follow-up

[Tony Vargas]

The Xanathar's Guide to the Skullport Thieves' Guild for New Hires

1.Welcome.​

2.New Hire Paperwork.​

3.Compensation and Benefits.​

4.Attendance and Leave.​

5.Employee Conduct.​

7.Required Training.​

8.Harrassment Policy.​

9.Your Privacy Rights.​

10.You didn't really believe any of that did you?​

 

[Demetrios1453]

Xanathar (with Olivia Newton-John and ELO)

Oh great, now I'm imagining Xanathar forcing his minions into huge roller-skating dance numbers.

"Minion #258, you were a half-second off the beat there for a few moments, you know what that means!"

ZAP

(pile of dust)

"And let that be a lesson to the rest of you - the choreography is the most important part! Now, enslaved bards, let's start from the top..."

A place where nobody dared to go
The hate that we came to know
They call it Xanathar.
And now, open your eyes and see what we have feared is real
It is the Xanathar
Eleven eyes are dancing and each stream, a shooting beam
A petrifying ray and you're here with me, eternally
Xanathar, Xanathar
(Now we are here) with Xanathar
Xanathar, Xanathar
(Now we are here) with Xanathar
Xanathar, your neon beams will shine for you, Xanathar

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Oh great, now I'm imagining Xanathar forcing his minions into huge roller-skating dance numbers.

"Minion #258, you were a half-second off the beat there for a few moments, you know what that means!"

ZAP

(pile of dust)

"And let that be a lesson to the rest of you - the choreography is the most important part! Now, enslaved bards, let's start from the top..."

A place where nobody dared to go
The hate that we came to know
They call it Xanathar.
And now, open your eyes and see what we have feared is real
It is the Xanathar
Eleven eyes are dancing and each stream, a shooting beam
A petrifying ray and you're here with me, eternally
Xanathar, Xanathar
(Now we are here) with Xanathar
Xanathar, Xanathar
(Now we are here) with Xanathar
Xanathar, your neon beams will shine for you, Xanathar

The Farce is strong in this one.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

What the Beholder Saw

 

[Sadras]

So many good books in this thread...

 

[Smarmot]

Embric's Guide to Power Bottoms

 

[Coroc]

Does anybody have the list of book titles at hand which you could find in the monastery in Icewind Dale 2? I just recently started t oplay it again since on my old computer the CD Drive was defective, so I am not yet there.

It was the most hilarious thing for D&D related books ever like:

Dungeons you should stay away from:

Lusthouse of the 99 Succubus
Uncle Freds Tool shed

or another one I still remember:

Face it: you are in fact neutral evil

I do not get it right from my memory atm, but it made me ROFL

 

[RobJN]

Just name it like half of the English names for animes turn out:

Xanathar Girl Super Mech Supreme: Requiem for The Second Order.

No, no. Sequels have annoying punctuation tacked on to the end of the title: a * or ! or !! (probably all three in at least one case...)

 

[Undrave]

No, no. Sequels have annoying punctuation tacked on to the end of the title: a * or ! or !! (probably all three in at least one case...)

Oooh! We could always go with the Kingdom Hearts School of game titles!

"Xanathar's Guide - 320/5 pages"
"Xanathar's Guide - Birth by Madness"
"Xanathar's Guide 4D - D100 Desintegrate Drop Denizens"
"Xanathar's Guide µ"
"Xanathar's Guide √22.65 First Chapter Epilogue"

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Does anybody have the list of book titles at hand which you could find in the monastery in Icewind Dale 2? I just recently started t oplay it again since on my old computer the CD Drive was defective, so I am not yet there.

It was the most hilarious thing for D&D related books ever like:

Dungeons you should stay away from:

Lusthouse of the 99 Succubus
Uncle Freds Tool shed

or another one I still remember:

Face it: you are in fact neutral evil

I do not get it right from my memory atm, but it made me ROFL

I don’t, but I knew of these:
Good books to find a the library of a wizard/lord?

Evil Fantasy Book Titles

I need to crowd source some evil book names. I gave a PC a "side quest" of getting a list of prescribed books for his order. The Paladin in the party has enough church clout to get them, and now they are demanding the titles so they can choose on a book by book basis. I told them there were like...

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