Great concept, and it sounds like a fun game. Please allow me respectfully add my two bits...
I must admit I didn't get the answer, but that might have been because of the misdirection you threw in afterwards "No, it's not a beast I made up..." which more than the riddle itself led me to look for an actual beast. Be careful of that GMing the game. Once you have laid down the riddle, you might want to refer to the answer in neutral terms only - "It's not something I made up, no." (Alternatively, if you wanted to throw in a red herring, you could mention to the players that "...there have been rumours that of a Silver Dragon had been seen in the land...")
Illirion said:
I think the maw thing was a good point and I'll fix it to make it a little easier. I'm not going to replace beast with place however cause I think that would make it a little too easy.
I agree that 'place' is not a good replacement (for the reasons you cite) but I am not to fond of beast as a substitute either. In fact I think I like maw better! Destructive as a waterfall is, to me it doesn't evoke a feeling of
bestiality beasts (ahem). And while you might be happy for the players to go on a wild goose chase looking for roaring monsters, you also want to preserve the purity of the riddle. In any case,
roars endlessly already implies the presence of a beast, does it not? Perhaps you could replace it with or
'she who'? Waterfalls could be thought of as a beautiful yet terrible woman, and while it could still be an actual female, or a shebeast, it better allows for more poetic possibilities...
Spider was also right in that with the best riddles you should automatically know when they are right, and the clues are in the language used. In its current form your riddle doesn't quite do that. You might feel that simple is best (and that is fine) but for the moment allow me to have a look at the riddle again, and see if we can add a little colour.
"In order to find me again, you must face the beast that roars endlessly and devours the reckless mercilessly".
'...roars endlessly...' is good. That is what waterfalls do. You could perhaps add a little detail here- Is it a massive waterfall? Or a small one? It might not seem like much but players can use such clues - "No, that can't be it - he said it was a
mighty beast..." (that said, roars probably implies that, too) Hmmm, often past great waterfalls there lies is a large calm pool. Maybe the beast "roars endlessly into the stillness before her..."
'...face the beast...' is a bit wishy washy for my liking. I'm guessing you already have an idea what you want the players to do when they reach the waterfall? Is the dragon's lair in the caverns behind the waterfall? If so, let the riddle reflect that. Maybe if they want to find the old man they need to step into the "Maw that Crushes all" This is good, because apart from being just another clue it also implies action and and risk and should they figure it out it lets them prepare for the dangers they might have to face.
'...and devours the reckless mercilessly.' I'm being picky now, but I would hesitate to say devour because (IMHO) a waterfall doesn't really devour things. Rather, it crushes things, smashes them against the rocks, and spits them out! Also, (and this is debatable point, I admit) a waterfall is not merciless, it is without mercy. I know that merciless literally means without mercy, but (to me, at least) it also seems to imply a sense of cruelty and ruthlessness, whereas 'without mercy' only suggests it's absence. It's a quibble, I know, but riddles live and die on such quibbles...
Anyway, here is a quick version of your riddle I just wrote up. I'm not saying it's better than yours. It just feels more like a riddle to me and there is perhaps more for the characters to play with. I felt your version seemed a litte "You'll get it or you won't." This version presupposes that the caves are hidden behind the waterfall.
"In order to find me again, you must find she who roars endlessly into the quiet night. Her beauty knows no mercy, her teeth crush all, but if you respect her might you may sit safely in her mouth"
That gives them plenty of clues and also some idea of what to do when they get there.
I hope that helps.
.
