The Acrimonious Adventurer Association

[Hairy Minotaur]

Menthos the great!

The party follows a set of giant tracks as they round a corner, peeking around the corner Xanthos finds a short hallways ending in ice covered steps descending into the earth.

“Looks like we found the way down.” Xanthos alerts the group

“Be less specific.” Menthos responds

Xanthos grabs the warlock’s shoulders and shove him into the hallway, Menthos slides to a stop near the top of the stairs.

“See any giants?” Xanthos inquires

“Just Doopa.” Menthos answers

The party carefully treks down the slippery stairs and into a hallway below, Xanthos and Eeyore both confirm the giant tracks go in both directions, left and right. Choosing right, the party traipses down to a corner to the left. Peering around this corner, Xanthos finds a hallway with four doors and another corner to the right at the end of the hallway about eighty feet down the hall.

“First door on the right?” Xanthos asks to confirm his decision with the party, agreeing, the party moves to that door.

Xanthos listens intently for sounds coming from within, however he detects nothing. Looking back at the group, Xanthos motions for them to get ready and be prepared to strike at anything that comes charging out the door. Xanthos shoves the door open and finds a desecrated temple. An unnatural red glow emanates from a small closet to the left of the altar, dead orcs litter the floor and blood is spilled everywhere as if their bodies just exploded. Xanthos spotted that the blood hadn’t frozen yet and therefore these deaths were recent. Filled with excitement, he entered the room to get a better look.

He found the room resisting his entrance, as if a magical force was trying to prevent him from gaining access. Xanthos pushed ahead anyway and felt his brain wracked with pain as meta-physical spike was shoved through his skull. Staggering back, Xanthos fell into Haimish’s arms.

“What is it?” Haimish asked

“Don’t know, it lifted as soon as I fell outside the room.” Xanthos answered

“Ghost?” Haimish offered

“Spell?” Eeyore offered

“Magic?” Doopa offered

“Hormones?” Menthos offered

“Magic likely.” Xanthos replied while scowling at Menthos

“Yay! Doopa win again!” The ogre shouted and danced

“Let’s move on then.” Eeyore commented

“No, I want to learn what happened in this room, what killed these orcs and if it still lingers in this area.” Xanthos stated, regaining his feet and inspecting the door frame.

“Find anything?” Haimish asks

“I’m fairly certain that I was not attacked, I’m more convinced it is some kind of divine energy at work here, most probably a forbiddance spell. We’ll need someone of the orcs beliefs to enter the room without getting feedback.” Xanthos reports

“Why can’t you go? You can turn into an orc, close enough right?” Menthos suggests

“The change is cosmetic, not spiritual. We’ll need someone rotten to the core, black-hearted, and seething with immoral pustules, someone who’s very existence it is to keep wounds from closing, to propagate festering within that wound and spread its disease over all that is natural.” Xanthos replied

“Sounds like Haimish is your man to me.” Menthos answered

“I beg your pardon.” Haimish retorts

“Fine, you are free to go, your debt to society has been paid.” Menthos responded

While Menthos and Haimish argued behind him, Xanthos sent a mage hand with a small mirror around the room to investigate the bodies from afar. He eventually reached into the small closet and located a set of bloodstained daggers rested in an open vellum lined chest. Casting another mage hand, Xanthos positioned the mirror to watch the daggers while he directed the new mage hand to pick up each one and lay them on the floor about five feet into the room.

“Why not bring them out into the hallway?” Eeyore asks

“They appear to be the murder weapons of choice, likely important sacrificially, nonetheless I want to see them up close without angering some debased deity.” Xanthos answers

“How you kill with shiny needle?” Doopa asked, to him the daggers were more like fingernail clearers than a useful weapon.

“Do not underestimate the power of bleeding out, one nick to an artery and even you would be useless except to the fungus.” Xanthos answered, “You, demonic half-breed, what do you make of these?” Xanthos asks Menthos

“What? You already looted? Sacrilegious.” Menthos answers

The warlock walks into the room, forgetting the adverse reaction Xanthos had moments ago, and kneels over the dagger to the far right. Many thoughts pass through the heads of the party, some wondering if Xanthos had faked the pain, others wondering if Menthos was superhuman, and Xanthos finally confirming what he suspected all along.

Menthos grabbed the hilt of the small pointed dagger and admired its delicate beauty.

“Well? We’re waiting demon, what say you?” Xanthos demands

“I say I know the time of your death, the hour strikes very near for one of the sun. Surely you of all people can appreciate the delicate nature of what must be done for chrysalis to be shattered.” Menthos answers

“That was poetic, Strom? Or Gunornt?” Haimish asks

“Your epitaph will speak of deeds undone and cowardice unsheltered.” Menthos replies

“Hardly.” Haimish scoffs

“Your lips will move to the machinations of the lich lord as one of his many prophets.” Menthos answers

“Okay, now you’re just being creepy. Come out of there before your brain rots any further.” Haimish states

“You should not enter, your blood is not pure enough to receive my blessing. Send in the bug, he shall make a fine trophy.” Menthos asks

“Leave him, he is no longer an asset.” Xanthos says turning his back on the warlock and moving to the rear of the group gawking at the doorway

“Doopa get.” The ogre waded into the room and bent down to heft Menthos off the floor, only to have the teifling blink to the left. Unbalanced Doopa tried to correct his maneuver, only to have Menthos shove a foot into the ogre’s left knee and the barbarian slipped face first into the blood soaked floor.

This caught Xanthos’ attention as he turned back to see Eeyore enter the room behind Doopa.

“He’s stuck to the blood on the floor, he can’t breathe a little help here Menthos, and your dirty trick is going to get someone killed.” Eeyore pleads

Menthos smirked and walked up alongside Eeyore and reached his hand forward to grab Doopa’s kicking left leg. Instead the warlock shifted the dagger in his other hand and jabbed it point first into the throat of Eeyore. The ranger’s eyes when wide with shock as the pain of the attack was quickly fading as Eeyore’s blood sprayed forth from a wound that continued to widen across the ranger’s neck.

Haimish shrieked as Xanthos leapt into action, transforming into a bi-pedal bear. The massive half-ursine engulfed the warlock in its massive paws and tried to squeeze the teifling into submission, “Help Eeyore!” Xanthos growled

Menthos was having none of that, shoving his right elbow under Xanthos’ ribs and then with an incredible feat of strength, the warlock shoved the half-ton bear back onto his haunches. Haimish pulled up short of the dying Eeyore, not wanting to get stabbed in the throat as well. Xanthos regained his feet and eyed down the warlock.

“Impossible! You are weak!” Xanthos roared as his charged the warlock again.

This time Menthos paid him no heed, even keeping his back to the charging bear, Xanthos reared up and Menthos kicked Xanthos in the crotch. The shifter doubled over and Menthos used the lower position of the bear’s jaw to grab its throat and toss it backwards into the hallway.

“Inconceivable!” Xanthos gaped in awe

Eeyore’s white tiger dives into the warlock and knocks Menthos prone. Haimish uses the opportunity to apply pressure to Eeyore’s neck while noticing that Doopa is kicking very lethargic now.

The tiger grips Menthos around his head as the warlock twists his blade into the tiger’s gut, the animal retreats in pain and limps around trying to get the gushing fluid from leaving its body as well.

Enraged, Xanthos shifts into a otyugh and finally gets a grip on Menthos. The struggling warlock drops the dagger as the tiger bleeds out onto the floor dying next to his master. Xanthos dregs Menthos out into the hallway and shoves him up against the wall several times until the teifling goes unconscious. He then turns back into a bi-pedal bear and pulls Doopa free from the floor and begins to give him CPR in an attempt to get the ogre breathing again. Haimish manages to get Eeyore’s blood loss to cease as a figure darkens the room’s entryway.

 

[Jon Potter]

Wow!

I've been forced to cut back on my board time, but I finally managed to read your last two updates. Brutal. But in a good way.

What's the story with the "dragon enigma"? Pretty cool description at any rate.

"We’ll need someone rotten to the core, black-hearted, and seething with immoral pustules, someone who’s very existence it is to keep wounds from closing, to propagate festering within that wound and spread its disease over all that is natural.”

Well I immediately thought of Menthos...

And ya gotta love Domination.

 

[Hairy Minotaur]

Wow!

I've been forced to cut back on my board time, but I finally managed to read your last two updates. Brutal. But in a good way.

What's the story with the "dragon enigma"? Pretty cool description at any rate.



Well I immediately thought of Menthos...

And ya gotta love Domination.

The Dragon enigma is a dragon font from the Races of the Dragon WOTC book. Why it was there was never explored by the party, they just left it alone and never went back. *In game, it protected an artifact a future enemy of the party's needed*

if you thought Menthos was evil then wait until he starts his recruitment drive....

 

[Jon Potter]

if you thought Menthos was evil then wait until he starts his recruitment drive....

Oh dear... I can hardly wait... :\

 

[Hairy Minotaur]

What was lost is regained, sort of.

Eeyore tracks orc footsteps to a descending stone staircase, humid warm air rises from the bottom of the stairs, creating a drifting whisp-like fog at head level for most in the party. The cold air creates a thin layer of frost at the top of the stairs and along the walls just surrounding it.

“Looks like they fled down, most of these steps were taken while they were running.” Eeyore comments

“As long as there is nowhere to run down there, a heightened hormone response tastes better than a sleeping one.” Xanthos responds

Nervous looks pass between Menthos and Haimish as Doopa nods in agreement.

The descent down the stairs ends at a heavy wooden door, pressing his ear to the wood, Xanthos can make out the sound of battle beyond the door. The shifter waves Doopa over excitedly, once up to the door, Xanthos shoves it open and gleefully announces, “All orcs shall perish before the might of the Xanthos the heartless!”

His battle cry echoes through an empty hallway, to the party’s left the familiar sounds of flesh ripping and bones cracking twist their way around a corner to assail the party’s senses.

“Premature exultation happens to the best of them.” Menthos states

Xanthos sprints to the edge of the corner and peers around to watch four large hunched over black skinned creatures mauling a group of blue slaad. The black creatures had wicked serrated hooks for their right hands and large fiddler-like crab claws for their left hands. Their face was a mixture of horns and teeth, Xanthos could make out no visible eyes nor ears.

The shifter watched the beasts dance their dance of death as one after another the blue slaad were eviscerated and left to rot upon the floor of the room. The rest of the party caught up to the shifter, just as the smell of chaotic death washed over their heads. Scents of roses and baked pie were intermixed with those of burnt dried feces and troll phlegm.

“Nasty, I’m both hungry and nauseated at the same time. Ugh.” Haimish reeked

The four creatures turned to face the party, insect-like maws twitching in anticipation of soft flesh for a feast.

“Greetings, I seek the orcs of this abode. Do you know their whereabouts?” Xanthos steps forward and asks

The four creatures rush the shifter who quickly changes to the form of a girralon, his four arms slamming against the first creature to close to him. Doopa howled and the chance to kill something and leapt impatiently into battle careening his huge cudgel off the backs of the creatures. Eeyore skidded across the room’s entrance to the opposite corner where a closed door was located; he then turned and braced his foot against the door. Haimish broke into song;

We used to love
You used to care
Now it's hard to find
The feeling we shared
You found a way
To even the score
And we don't have mercy anymore


“That doesn’t motivate me.” Menthos comments

Between Xanthos the girralon and Doopa’s mighty stick, the creatures are defeated with little blood loss from the party.

“Neither of these is natural, the orcs here are delving into things best left alone.” Xanthos comments

“You’re either awkwardly feminine or a paladin, there is no grey.” Menthos responds

“That makes no sense.” Haimish replies

“About as much as your ditty did.” Menthos answers

“We have no time to fight; I feel a wrinkle in this plane awaits us down here.” Eeyore states

“Okay, that made no sense.” Menthos comments

Xanthos and Doopa wander off past the door that led them to this battle and down the hallway where a huge ornate marble double door waits on the south wall. Their whistle of impressiveness beckons to the rest of the party and they soon join in the gawking over the door.

“I wonder what’s inside.” Haimish ponders

“Only one way to find out.” Xanthos answers as he grasps the two knockers and pulls the doors open.

The chamber beyond contained a single block of obsidian laced with veins of a blood red mineral. The pillar-like block took up a third of the room and was positioned in the center of the chamber, three quarters of the way up the block a naked human male was chained spread eagle to the block and slowly dripped blood down the party facing side. The blood pooled around the base of the block and seemed to bubble or boil.

Upon seeing the party enter, the man looks down at them and strained out a warning, “Run……they’re coming……..run”

“Orcs? Where are they?” Xanthos shouts

The block groans and a great ripping sound is heard through the chamber as a rainbow of slaad materialize out from the pillar, blue, red, and green upright frogs advance into the room. Then the pillar cracks and shatters as a doorway to their home void pushes it’s way into the room and a black scythe wielding slaad floats through into the room.

“Sorry to have disturbed you.” Xanthos states as he pushes the party through the double doors and into the hallway and casts meld stone upon the door to meld them into one big piece of rock, “we should be safe, let’s see them get through that.”

“They don’t need to.” Menthos said

Xanthos turned to ask what the warlock meant when he saw the slaads walk through the stone walls surrounding the party as if it was air.

“Oh.” Xanthos replied

Transforming back into a girralon, Xanthos held off the slaads to the west while Doopa took up the defense on the east side. Eeyore crawled up the wall and worked his way behind the slaad line on Doopa’s side and began attacking them from the rear. Haimish assisted Xanthos and tried to keep the slaad from getting behind them and flanking them. Menthos looked for a way to get out of the hallway and back into the room where it must be safer considering all the slaad were now out in the hallway.

“Hey Xanthos, fix the doors so they work again!” Menthos shouted

“What? Why don’t you do something productive and help us kill these things before we’re overrun and die here in disgrace?” Xanthos shouted back

“I don’t go good with a slaad and I’m not getting impregnated ever, so I’m not really feeling your sense of urgency here.” Menthos responds

“Get over here and fight! I’m not going to fail to exact revenge on the stealers of my heart because of your lack of testosterone.” Xanthos shouts back

“The rainbow coalition frightens me, maybe you could back them up a little more and I can snipe them from afar?” Menthos requests

The sealed marble doors melt away as the death slaad ambles into the fray slices his scythe down at the oblivious tiefling. The immaterial blade scores deep into Menthos’ soul and then exits his body at the knees and cuts into the floor, rotting away the stone as if it were stale bread.

Menthos doubles over screaming in agony as the death slaad takes aim on the hapless warlock for a killing blow. Xanthos grabs two green slaads and tosses them over his shoulder into the focused death slaad. A handful of magic missiles pepper the back of the death slaad as the chained human spits out the vocal component of the spell through his bloodied mouth.

Doopa and Eeyore turn the tide on their side as Eeyore would dart in and bite the slaad, transforming his mouth long enough to deliver a venom laced spider bite and then back to an elf before Doopa caught a glimpse of the transformation. The weakened slaad were easy pickings for the enraged barbarian, as Doopa dispatched those on his side of the marble door.

The death slaad turns back to it’s captive and laughs hideously as it raises a finger towards the chained man, Doopa rears back and nails the outsider in the back of it’s head causing the slaad to point it’s finger at the suddenly not so healthy looking ogre.

“Out of my way!” Xanthos yells as he kicks Menthos back into the room he was searching for a way into. Xanthos pummels the death slaad with his four fists as Haimish attempts to fight off a prism of tongues and claws his shield ripped off his arm and tossed aside as his weapon sways to and fro glistens in the flickering torch light in the hallway.

Eeyore darts around Doopa to fit in-between the ogre and the shifter. The death slaad promptly kicks the ranger into the opposite wall across the hallway. Menthos claws his way up to his hands and knees to get a bearing on where he is he spots a sunken basin in both forward corners of the room, each one glinting with the promise of treasure. Menthos slinks off to the one on his left as the chained human captive sends another magic missile volley into the death slaad.

Bleeding from reopened old wounds and finding it hard to avoid breathlessness, Doopa continues to clock the death slaad as if it was a dirty rug. Xanthos tries to grasp the death slaad’s scythe, only to find himself standing five feet tall as an elf looking up and the large outsider and unable to change back into any meaningful form.

“No!” Xanthos screams as he fruitlessly rails against the death slaad’s body with his elven hands.

Haimish retreats back to stand alongside Xanthos as Doopa calls for Eeyore to get off his lazy butt and help him fight. Menthos rummages through a stack of potions lying in the sunken treasure pit and finding the one he needs uncorks it and downs the whole bottle.

Slaad press against the west side of the hallway as Haimish shieldless and quickly tiring tries to keep Xanthos from falling under the outsider onslaught. Doopa’s labored breathing began to drown out the sound of his solid hits on the slaad as Eeyore shook the stars from his concussion and attempted to get back into combat.

“Hey monkey hurlage!” Menthos called as his hasted body fired two eldritch blasts every few seconds into the death slaad

The death slaad squealed in surprise and flew back through the open wound on the pillar of obsidian, Eeyore regained his feet and together with a quickened Menthos they dispatched the last remaining slaad in the hallway.

“Huzzah! I kick ass!” Menthos shouts

The rest of the party limps back into the chamber, where Doopa and Xanthos collapse in a tired heap.

“Please, someone get me down.” The chained man cries

“You are in no position to bargain, I’ll cut you down after I’ve freed this room of it’s heavy treasure burden.” Menthos answers

“Menthos that man probably saved your life, the least you can do it get him down from up there.” Haimish admonishes

“Probably saved my life, not definitely, besides I’m not into the kinky stuff. If he likes stretched out over cold stone while slaads rip through the fabric of this plane, who am I to truly halt his pleasure boat?” Menthos responds

“My name is Adukol, I hail from Lenap. I will be so ever grateful if you could end my torment upon this prison.” The man speaks

“If slaads imprisoned him, he’s either too lawful or he’s a real sick in the head kind of guy.” Eeyore offers

“Well, I for one am willing to grant this man his freedom. No one should have to be subjected to this level of indecency.” Haimish relates

“Try mating with a lemure.” Menthos retorts

Haimish and Eeyore assault the pillar and climb up to the chained Adukol and begin to release him. Menthos decides to wander around to the other side of the pillar where he finds another man chained to the pillar; this one however has passed out from blood loss. Although he still retains a pulse, his pale complexion signals his death looms on the horizon.

Xanthos and Doopa return to their feet and begin sifting through the two pits of treasure, looking for anything useful. Haimish and Eeyore help Adukol to the floor, as Xanthos offers the human a foul smelling jelly substance.

“What’s this for?” Adukol inquires

“I don’t want your stench fouling up my plans to find the orcs of Hledra, you smell like blood. If you’re going to follow us around you better get rid of that stink.” Xanthos said

“Um, thanks I guess.” Adukol accepts the gift

Doopa pulls up a small wooden box, and Xanthos’ ears perk up. A familiar *thump* *thump* sounds from within the small box, “Give me that!” Xanthos demands

The shifter retreats to the other side of the room as Eeyore comes over to help Doopa loot the treasure pits. The ogre picks up a small bag containing some things that sound like fake coins, the two look at each other and shrug, Doopa tosses Eeyore the bag and upon opening it, Eeyore finds it full of small black circular objects.

Menthos rounds the pillar with another naked man and announces, “I found a cleric!”

Xanthos opens the box and to his elation finds a beating heart within; reduced to tears Xanthos reaches into the box and holds the organ in his hands. Eeyore reaches into the bag and shuffles his hand through the contents to verify that the bag only contains the small black coins-like objects.

Xanthos releases a head shattering scream as the room turns to watch in horror as the heart in his hands paralyzes the shifter then grows two tendrils which latch onto the chest of Xanthos and cleave his chest upon. Separating skin, muscle and bone, the tendrils latch onto Xanthos’ current heart and yank the organ from it’s resting place. Xanthos’ old heart is discarded, sent sliding across the stone floor, the heart from the box then enters Xanthos chest cavity and makes itself at home, reattaching arteries and veins to itself and retracting the tendrils it grew as it zips up Xanthos’ chest and leaving no outwardly physical trace of the replacement.

Eeyore was next to scream as his paralyzed body peels it’s flesh away from the underlying musculature starting on the fingertips and retreating down his body until his boots are forced off his feet as the skin rolls up and off his body completely, then the replacement takes over as the small black objects from the bag work to overlay themselves onto Eeyore’s exposed muscle and tissue. When it was complete the once fair looking high elf, had been transformed into a blacked scaled monstrosity unrecognizable in his new form.

“On second thought, I think a renegotiation of my rates is in order.” The cleric says

 

[Jon Potter]

You know what I've decided I like best about this story hour, HM? When I read a lot of other threads on this board, I can usually tell what's going on. I can recognize spell effects, monsters, templated critters, etc. But not with you! In just about every single post I have a moment of: WTF? This time I had two in rapid succesion.

Xanthos releases a head shattering scream as the room turns to watch in horror as the heart in his hands paralyzes the shifter then grows two tendrils which latch onto the chest of Xanthos and cleave his chest upon. Separating skin, muscle and bone, the tendrils latch onto Xanthos’ current heart and yank the organ from it’s resting place. Xanthos’ old heart is discarded, sent sliding across the stone floor, the heart from the box then enters Xanthos chest cavity and makes itself at home, reattaching arteries and veins to itself and retracting the tendrils it grew as it zips up Xanthos’ chest and leaving no outwardly physical trace of the replacement.

Eeyore was next to scream as his paralyzed body peels it’s flesh away from the underlying musculature starting on the fingertips and retreating down his body until his boots are forced off his feet as the skin rolls up and off his body completely, then the replacement takes over as the small black objects from the bag work to overlay themselves onto Eeyore’s exposed muscle and tissue. When it was complete the once fair looking high elf, had been transformed into a blacked scaled monstrosity unrecognizable in his new form.

You must really keep your players on the edge of their seats wondering what's going to be next.

So now I gotta ask: what are we talking here? Symbiots? Grafts of some kind?

 

[Hairy Minotaur]

So now I gotta ask: what are we talking here? Symbiots? Grafts of some kind?

Grafts, specifically Slithilar grafts from Lords of Madness, only they don't quite work right as the party soon finds out.

 

[Jon Potter]

Grafts, specifically Slithilar grafts from Lords of Madness, only they don't quite work right as the party soon finds out.

So I guess I was able to sort of guess after all.

I love the descriptions you gave for their attachment to the unwitting hosts. Absolutely, delightfully gruesome!

 

[Hairy Minotaur]

Oggy Woggy want kissy kissy

Xanthos’ bodily control returns to him in a jerk as the shifter falls to the floor and pounds away at the stones beneath him with his bare fists.

“No, they’ve taken my heart a second time.” Xanthos sobs

Eeyore tires out his new organ, it clicks as it moves sounding like hundreds of insects crawling over stone. Testing its hardness, Eeyore is impressed with the increased protection this new skin seems to promise him.

“You people are either desperate or crazy to want a Slithilar implant, I think death by slaad would’ve been better they’re only crazy.” The human cleric Menthos located states

“So you know of such things? What else does this do?” Eeyore asks

“It took away your manhood and left you a eunuch.” Menthos observes

Eeyore tried to bend over to see but found the skin had locked in place, “mmph, elph eh kahnt moof.”

For several seconds the ranger was unable to move, even his lips refused to part and he was forced to muffle his replies through his closed mouth. Xanthos felt hot and cold at the same time as hormones shot through his bloodstream causing his to have blackout spells and fits of twitchiness. Transforming into a tiger, Xanthos found the going a little easier.

“What’s wrong with me?” Xanthos pleads to the cleric

“How should I know? I don’t make implants, you’ll have to find a Slithilar and talk to them.” The man replied

“Where can I find one?” Xanthos inquired

“Croy.” Adokul spoke up, “But you can only get there with a guide, and I don’t know any of sufficient power who are capable of this.”

“Well, first we have to get out of here.” Haimish states, “and what’s your name stranger?”

“Kourk, follower of Zenkeef the Mischief.” Comes the reply

“Doopa know of Zenkeef, many good parties had by her name.” The ogre comments

“Yes, it’s what kept me from instant death by the slaads; they loved my dancing so much they prolonged my life until you could rescue me.” Kourk replies

“Who said you were rescued?” Menthos interjects

A confused Kourk turns around, “I er, assumed that I ah.”

“Don’t you ever feel guilty playing with people’s emotions like that?” Haimish asks

“I only do to people who would do the same to me if they were any smarter.” Menthos answers

“So you use arrogance to cancel guilt?” Haimish inquires

“It’s a good system.” Menthos responds

“Oh I see, I’m the butt of the joke. I need to score me some alcohol and goodberries, I’m too sober to understand your sarcasm.” Kourk states

Xanthos retrieves his former heart off the floor and returns to the party while wrapping it in cloth, “First we wipe out all the orcs in this hell and make sure their souls are tortured even in the afterlife.”

“You seem to have anger management issues, perhaps a roll in the hay with Zenkeef will lighten your troubled spirits?” Kourk offers

“Back away preacher man, if you’re not coming with me then stay here and watch time dissolve into a wasted life.” Xanthos answers

“Touchy.” Kourk says

“It’s that time of the month.” Menthos answers

Xanthos walks out into the hallway and turns to the right heading away from the stairs leading up, the rest of the group soon acquiesces as one by one they join Xanthos making the next person’s decision that much easier.

The party comes to a closed wooden door, not bothering to listen for sound from the other side, Xanthos kicks the door in to find a room with a thick layer of frost on every surface. A large stack of bodies occupies the right half of the room. Xanthos strides right in just ahead of the rest of the party, upon reaching the midway point, the pile of bodies shifts as a dozen zombies rise to battle the group.

Xanthos transforms into treant and clears a wide swath of undead from the party’s path. Doopa dives into combat swinging his club at anything that gets near him. Haimish breaks into song which brings Kourk into a dancing mood and he quickly begins dancing to the bard’s tune. Eeyore moves up to cover the rear flank of the group, he manages a swing on a zombie before his skin locks up again and he remains motionless for the zombies to pound away at.

Menthos launches a salvo of eldritch blasts into the zombies around Eeyore, spellless and weaponless, Adokul could only cheer on the teifling.

Xanthos and Doopa however are able to finish off the zombies without any further assistance and the party moves on to the next door for Xanthos to kick in. This room however is devoid of anything but frost.

“Why is it so cold down here?” Adokul observes

“Something opened a gate to the elemental plane of ice, we’ve been hunting down that mystery but the peevish one keeps getting distracted by orcs, lucky it now appears the two are related since no one would intentionally create an orccicle that would taste like excrement.” Menthos relates

“I don’t think it would be so bad if I was wearing something befitting a man of my stature.” Adokul states

“Are you a king?” Haimish asks

“No, I’m a student of the Mystic Arts.” The wizard answers

Menthos eldritch blasts the pile of dead bodies, “can you do that?”

Adokul shakes his head, Menthos fires a dozen more blasts into the pile of dead bodies in the room behind them, “how about that?”

Again Adokul shakes his head. “Then shut up.” Menthos demands

Xanthos breaks down the next door and the party can here a great din coming down the hallway beyond the room.

“At last! I have found the cowardly little bugs.” Xanthos squeals and rushes down the hallway followed by Eeyore and Doopa.

All three skid to a stop as the hallway turns and enters a huge amphitheater where dozens of undead mill about watching a lone figure work over a stone circle mounted on the wall on the theater’s stage.

A disappointing breath escapes the shifter as he realizes there are no orcs in this room. Doopa however is more than thrilled to knock prone permanently a few undead, he steps into the room along with Eeyore. From across the room another entrance lurks this one populated with demons, as Doopa swings his tree through the bodies of nearby undead the rest of the room is alerted to their presence.

A blade barrier goes up in-between Xanthos and Eeyore and then a telekinetic shove is used against both Eeyore and Doopa and they are flung back through the blade barrier. The wet slick sound of ripping flesh echoes back up the hallway as the two bodies flop to the ground next to Xanthos.

“Argh! Why can’t I find any orcs?” Xanthos shouts and transforms into a will-o-wisp and moves through the blade barrier and into the room

At this intrusion, three invisible stalkers are called forth to deal with the incorporeal Xanthos. The rest of the party skids to a stop before the blade barrier. Eeyore and Doopa moan their way to a sitting position.

“Can you help them?” Haimish asks Kourk

Kourk walks over to Doopa and spying a still bleeding wound, applies pressure to it and give it a kiss.

“There, does the big oggy woggy fell better wetter after the kissy kissy?” Kourk asks

“I believe Haimish said help them, not nauseate them.” Menthos remarks

“When did I get the chance to pray for spells? What would you have me do?” Kourk asks

“Pray Doopa didn’t here you talk baby to him.” Haimish says

The three invisible stalkers push Xanthos back towards the blade barrier where the lone figure on the theater stage begins laying walls of force around Xanthos blocking him in.

“Uh oh, Xanthos is trapped.” Adokul mentions

“Here help me drag Eeyore and Doopa back up to the empty room.” Menthos directs Kourk

“Shouldn’t we help Xanthos?” Haimish asks

“I can’t put him out of his misery through a wall of force, I’m sure he’ll figure something out.” Menthos states

The lone figure motions across the circular stone and in its place a corridor of darkness grows, devouring all matter in its wake until the gate is stabilized. The figure motions for the zombies to march into the gate as the demons quickly cross the amphitheater to deal with the interlopers.

 

[Hairy Minotaur]

Tithe

Xanthos transforms into a thoqqua and burrows under the cage of force, appearing on the other side of the blade barrier. Two vrocks and a marilith rip the force walls to shreds as they advance on the party. Xanthos transforms again into a girallon and scoops up Doopa, Eeyore and cork. Adukol, Menthos and Haimish quickly follow the retreating Xanthos back to the frozen room.

“We’re horribly out numbered and out powered, a frontal assault would not allow for any of you to survive.” Xanthos states

“In that case I thank you for your concern, why stop here then? Why not simply continue until daylight is reached again, or has the sun failed on this world for I’ve noticed it is very cold in here.” Kourk states

“I am going back in; they shall not escape my wrath!” Xanthos announces

“I didn’t see any orcs in there Xanthos; I think it’s safe to assume they’re all dead.” Haimish answers

“Nonsense! They yet live and they will taste the level of degradation I’ve felt for the past weeks a hundred fold, I will rain down a shower of vengeance the likes of which Maal has never seen!” Xanthos thunders away

“More like you’ll die whimpering cowering in a ball under a table as the marilith licks your freshly plucked limbs free of flesh.” Adukol responds

“You know noting of what you speak, I have spent hours searching for vengeance and I shall not be denied by one who wasn’t smart enough to out think a slaad.” Xanthos answers

“Hey as long as you’re marching off to your death, could you at least take care of the ogre so he can protect the rest of us from that chip on your shoulder?” Menthos chimes in

Xanthos clenches his fists and raises them above the warlock’s head and takes a deep breath in.

*yawn* “Look, if you’re going to use hate to drive your personal engine of destruction, the least you could do is switch to food that is actually cooked and not fresh roots and twigs. You smell like fromunda cheese wrapped in burnt bacon.” Menthos states

Xanthos calms down a little and grab the head of Doopa and sends a healing wave into the ogre’s body. Doopa’s eyes flash open as his consciousness returns. Xanthos turns and leaves the party where they lie and heads back to the gate room.

“He’s going to die down there.” Kourk says

“We all die; at least he’ll be dying doing something he wants to do.” Haimish states

“Maybe. I want a foursome with a female elf, teifling, and gnome but I don’t want to have to die to get it. In that case I’ll just settle for a threesome plus a nightcap.” Menthos answers

Doopa hefts Eeyore up and they begin the trek back to the surface when Xanthos returns.

“The enemy has slapped their arrogance in my face once again! I return to accept my fate and they’ve left me with nothing to fight, not even a gate to track them through! They think me unworthy of killing!” Xanthos seethes with rage and pounds his fists against the frozen walls of the room.

“So you’re saying they just left?” Adukol questions

“Yes!” Xanthos bellows

“That makes no sense, demons wouldn’t do that and they certainly aren’t afraid of you.” Adukol answers

“You intimate me a liar?” Xanthos foams

“No, I think he’s calling you subverted.” Menthos responds

“You! I have no problem ripping your head off your body, dragging your skull to the gate room and letting the rest of them remote view the room through your twisted eye sockets.” Xanthos screeches

“Hmm, I see. Well lead on then.” Menthos answers, following the shifter back down the hallway.

“Aren’t you wary of falling into a trap?” Haimish says

“No, because we’ve already been down this hallway twice and not fallen into any pits.” Menthos answers

The rest of the party follows the two men out of morbid curiosity and once they reach the gate room, Xanthos is vindicated as it is indeed empty. Adukol and Kourk move up to examine the spot where the gate had formed earlier, while Xanthos transforms into a viper and slithers around the room tasting the air.

After an hour of prodding they determine everyone left through the gate including the demons, although the sorcerer has no idea how the gate was formed. Kourk and Doopa move ahead to scout out the opposite corridor from the entrance to the room and they soon discover a door that appears to be barred form the inside. Calling back for assistance, the rest of the party meets them at the door. Xanthos transforms into a thoqqua again and melts the stone and metal off the door, revealing a large treasure room.

“Jackpot!” Haimish shouts

Menthos, Haimish and Xanthos all cast detect magic to reveal the locations of magic items in the room as Kourk pushes his way in to find something he can use for armor other than the wipe rag Xanthos gave him. Menthos ends his detection after getting the number and location of each item, Haimish and Xanthos continue to study to find the item with the highest concentration of magic.

Instantly a ring and a small black rock outshine all others in the detection. Haimish reaches for the rock but Xanthos shoves him aside.

“My Heart?” Xanthos cries out as he picks up the cold rock, which upon further handling appears to instead be some kind of ice as the warmth of Xanthos’ hand causes the rock to get slick. Xanthos sets the rock back down and observes his hands covered in blood.

Haimish regroups and procures the ring safely into his hands, turning the ring over he finds ancient dwarven script written around the outside of the gold band. The ring itself contains but a single piece of mithril sculpted like a mountain rising some two inches above the band of the ring.

“Bard!” Xanthos shouts, grabbing Haimish around the collar and yanking him ten feet over to be in front of Xanthos, causing Haimish to drop the ring, “I need you to identify this rock. I believe it to be my frozen heart, devoid of the passion it once had.”

Haimish begins to object, but then notices Kourk picking up the ring and slipping it on his finger, “Hey!”

Haimish turns to go have a chat with Kourk who looks around frantically trying to see who or what Haimish could have been yelling at. Xanthos instead grabs the bard once more by the collar and raises him into the air.

“First indentify.” Xanthos demands pointing at the rock below.

“Fine, fine.” Haimish answers

Haimish finishes his incantation with a quizzical look on his face.

“What? What’s wrong with my heart?” Xanthos requests

“I don’t think that’s your heart.” Haimish replies

“What? What is it then?” Xanthos asks wiping his blood soaked hands off on Haimish’s cloak.

“I don’t know it is beyond my capabilities to unravel it’s secrets.” Haimish answers

“Dejected, Xanthos slouches onto his knees, then transforms back to a wild elf and passes out, exhausted from the toll the implanted heart has already taken on his body

Haimish quietly picks up the rock and wraps it in cloth five layers deep, while the rest of the party goes through the piles of gold and other items. Kourk finds a helmet as well and places that upon his head.

“Hey look, a mace too!” Kourk states, “Now I’m a helmeted loin-cloth basher in search of zealots.”

Menthos walks out of the room with a new item he located in a stack of scrolls, “Hey Minty, find anything useful?” Haimish asks

“Yes, your skill at deduction. Here ID this.” Menthos answers, showing a metal rod into the bard’s face

*sigh* Haimish grabs the metal stick and concentrates on the item, after a few moments he tells Menthos, “It’s a warlock rod…” Menthos cuts him off.

“Really? I’m going to stick this onto the top of my ten foot pole and then I’ll be able to blast things ten feet further away than what I could do. What’s it do?” Menthos asks

“You use it to detect reality, hit your head against it anywhere from seven to four-hundred seventy-three times and you should start to see the meaning of all life.’ Haimish answers

Doopa grabs up Xanthos as well, and the party continues along the new path past the treasure room door. They come upon another door with low moaning and anguished cries from the other side.

Haimish and Kourk shove the door open to reveal a torture chamber used by the orcs to slowly kill their captives. A male dwarf lies stretched a top the rack as his ribs show sings of internally bleeding, blackened and blue skin run along his rib cage.

“Please save me.” The pitiful dwarf calls out

Haimish rushes to the man’s side as he pounds the chains of the rack with his sword until the dwarf is freed. Haimish offers the man food and water and helps him out into the hallway, “Who would do this? Xanthos is missing a great party”

Back out in the hallway, the party is transfixed upon Menthos as the teifling halts fifteen feet from the torture chamber, a long hallway stretched out before them, darkened except for the floor which glows with the light of a full moon.

“Trapped.” Is all Menthos says

“Crap, we’ll have to go back up the long way.” Haimish states

“No need, we can get through this, plus it’s quicker and with two unconscious people and two others that are practically useless.” Menthos answers

“What are you going to do then?” Haimish inquires

Menthos grabs the saved dwarf and shoves him into the hallway while shouting “Freedom!”
Haimish tries to stop the Menthos but is too late to halt the toss that lands him in the hallway, “What are you doing!” Haimish shouts

“Saving us.” Menthos replies, the dwarf pushes himself up to a crawling position and begins to crawl away from the party, after ten feet of crawling the sounds of dozens of dogs baying echo up the hallway.

The dwarf freezes and turns around to crawl back to the party; Menthos retrieves his ten foot pole and prods the dwarf to keep him from getting any closer. Haimish attempts to grapple the warlock down to the floor and succeeds in knocking the teifling prone. The baying intensifies as Haimish shoves himself off of Menthos and steps towards the hallway to help the dwarf.

Menthos kicks his feet out and drops Haimish to his knees and eye level with the dwarf who reaches out his arm for help. Haimish reaches up but is knocked back by a dozen large red dogs who phase through the black “wall” of the corridor and tear into the dwarf as if he was the last scrap of meat the hounds would ever see again.

The screams from the dwarf were intermixed with a fiery belch from the hound’s mouths as the heat in the hallway and surrounding the party increased. Blood splatter paints Haimish and Menthos the later rolls away and stands up next to Adukol, Haimish reels in the brutality of the scene as the hounds leave nothing, not even hair, completely ignoring the party the leave as quickly and as unquiet as they arrived.

“Nasty little trap, does it reset or have you tripped it?” Adukol asks

“I don’t know, go find me another prisoner and we’ll find out.” Menthos replies

“Kourk seems to be grating on people’s attitudes.” Adukol subtly suggests

“You’re pretty useless right now too.” Menthos answers

“True, but I know offense. What does his god know?” Adukol replies

“You should be wary of faith, I know many powerful men who could bend your opinion of faith.” Menthos states

“Not likely, I have no need for gods. Not when cloudkill works so much better.” Adukol replies

“Each of us has tithes that bind.” Menthos says and leaves Adukol, walks over to Haimish and hefts him up from the ground.