I've looked all over the internet for information on what I've observed, but since I saw nothing, I'm going to go ahead and talk about it.
So I've been doing research on That Guy (You know, That Guy who sucks the fun out of games), and the common archetypes that go with it, such as the Rules Lawyer (That Guy who argues with the GM about their rulings by pointing to information in Official Rulebooks consistently), or perhaps simply the Jerk (No need to explain this one).
The reason I'm posting here is to discuss another possible That Guy archetype. The hope in discussing it is to, of course, refine it, but also perhaps to promote some awareness of a way in which one sucks the fun out of a game without them realizing it. Without further ado, I'll begin describing the Backseat GM.
The Backseat GM
You might be asking, "What in the Nine Hells is a Backseat GM?" To which I'll respond, "In short, the Backseat GM is a Player who attempts to assert some level of control over how the GM should run their game." But if I were asked to elaborate and provide a longer explanation, I would say, "Have you ever driven a car, and the person in the passenger seat starts saying stuff like, 'Go left here!' Or 'Don't press the brake petal so hard!' Or 'Its a green light, go go go!'? We call that person a Backseat Driver, because they're trying to employ the responsibilities of driving when they're not driving. Is the Backseat Driver being helpful to the driver? Usually not. Usually, the driver either ignores them, or gets really fed up with the Backseat Driver. Even if the Backseat Driver were giving the best driving advice in the world, but the Driver doesn't want to hear it, then the Backseat Driver is either a nuisance, or downright irritating. What typically irritates the driver when the Backseat Driver is present, is that often times, the driver is getting the impression that the Backseat Driver doesn't trust the driver with the responsibilities of driving."
Then I would pause the explanation, take a deep breath or two, and then continue, "Now take the driver, and the Backseat Driver, but replace the driver with the GM, and the Backseat Driver with the Backseat GM. To the GM, its like the Backseat GM doesn't trust the GM with running the game, despite the Backseat GM not actually running the game hes playing a character in."
Now, theres nothing wrong with a Player giving the GM advice, but when the GM doesn't ask for advice, then the Player starts being that irritating Backseat GM to the GM.
Of course, there are times when an extra set of eyes, and standing up to say something is good in both the Backseat Driver, and the Backseat GM's cases. For instance, if the driver is driving along, and a pedestrian starts walking across the street, and the driver doesn't notice, then I think its good for the passenger to say something to the driver about that. Likewise, if the GM is playing out something that none of the other players enjoy, then the players ought to tell the GM to cut it out.
But when you try and tell the GM how to GM, or the driver how to drive when they don't ask for your input, then you're walking into Backseat GM/Driver territory.
Instead of telling the GM how to GM, let the GM make a ruling you wouldn't do in the GM's seat, let the GM make mistakes, and then most importantly, give the GM room for them to learn from their mistakes. Who knows, the might have learned something from that mistake that you didn't see before, and then the GM might have made that mistake fun when you couldn't find anything fun in it. The best way for a GM to get better is to sit back and give them plenty of space to GM while you be the best player you can by taking whatever the GM throws at you and making something of it, but of course, if the GM asks for advice, then give however much advice the GM is willing to hear. Remember, they're the GM, and they're in charge, not you.
Also, the real danger of the Backseat GM is that the Backseat GM appears helpful, and often times, the Backseat GM thinks they're being helpful, but often times, the only thing the GM is hearing from the Backseat GM is that the GM is terrible, even if thats the last thing the Backseat GM wants to say. A Backseat GM is often as helpful as any other Backseat Driver you might encounter in a car (not helpful, and often quite the opposite).
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With that said, I want to say that the reason I bring up the Backseat GM archetype for discussion is because for the longest time, and still quite likely, is that I too am a Backseat GM. I try to help newer GMs, but I've found myself pissing off a lot of newer GMs by giving them advice when they didn't ask for it. Of course, I didn't mean to anger them, but looking back, my behavior made them less wanting to GM games because they didn't believe they were ever good enough.
So, do any of you have experiences with the Backseat GM? Do any of you think my observations need to be refined a little more? Do you think this topic is stupid?
Whatever it is, I'll hear what you have to say.
So I've been doing research on That Guy (You know, That Guy who sucks the fun out of games), and the common archetypes that go with it, such as the Rules Lawyer (That Guy who argues with the GM about their rulings by pointing to information in Official Rulebooks consistently), or perhaps simply the Jerk (No need to explain this one).
The reason I'm posting here is to discuss another possible That Guy archetype. The hope in discussing it is to, of course, refine it, but also perhaps to promote some awareness of a way in which one sucks the fun out of a game without them realizing it. Without further ado, I'll begin describing the Backseat GM.
The Backseat GM
You might be asking, "What in the Nine Hells is a Backseat GM?" To which I'll respond, "In short, the Backseat GM is a Player who attempts to assert some level of control over how the GM should run their game." But if I were asked to elaborate and provide a longer explanation, I would say, "Have you ever driven a car, and the person in the passenger seat starts saying stuff like, 'Go left here!' Or 'Don't press the brake petal so hard!' Or 'Its a green light, go go go!'? We call that person a Backseat Driver, because they're trying to employ the responsibilities of driving when they're not driving. Is the Backseat Driver being helpful to the driver? Usually not. Usually, the driver either ignores them, or gets really fed up with the Backseat Driver. Even if the Backseat Driver were giving the best driving advice in the world, but the Driver doesn't want to hear it, then the Backseat Driver is either a nuisance, or downright irritating. What typically irritates the driver when the Backseat Driver is present, is that often times, the driver is getting the impression that the Backseat Driver doesn't trust the driver with the responsibilities of driving."
Then I would pause the explanation, take a deep breath or two, and then continue, "Now take the driver, and the Backseat Driver, but replace the driver with the GM, and the Backseat Driver with the Backseat GM. To the GM, its like the Backseat GM doesn't trust the GM with running the game, despite the Backseat GM not actually running the game hes playing a character in."
Now, theres nothing wrong with a Player giving the GM advice, but when the GM doesn't ask for advice, then the Player starts being that irritating Backseat GM to the GM.
Of course, there are times when an extra set of eyes, and standing up to say something is good in both the Backseat Driver, and the Backseat GM's cases. For instance, if the driver is driving along, and a pedestrian starts walking across the street, and the driver doesn't notice, then I think its good for the passenger to say something to the driver about that. Likewise, if the GM is playing out something that none of the other players enjoy, then the players ought to tell the GM to cut it out.
But when you try and tell the GM how to GM, or the driver how to drive when they don't ask for your input, then you're walking into Backseat GM/Driver territory.
Instead of telling the GM how to GM, let the GM make a ruling you wouldn't do in the GM's seat, let the GM make mistakes, and then most importantly, give the GM room for them to learn from their mistakes. Who knows, the might have learned something from that mistake that you didn't see before, and then the GM might have made that mistake fun when you couldn't find anything fun in it. The best way for a GM to get better is to sit back and give them plenty of space to GM while you be the best player you can by taking whatever the GM throws at you and making something of it, but of course, if the GM asks for advice, then give however much advice the GM is willing to hear. Remember, they're the GM, and they're in charge, not you.
Also, the real danger of the Backseat GM is that the Backseat GM appears helpful, and often times, the Backseat GM thinks they're being helpful, but often times, the only thing the GM is hearing from the Backseat GM is that the GM is terrible, even if thats the last thing the Backseat GM wants to say. A Backseat GM is often as helpful as any other Backseat Driver you might encounter in a car (not helpful, and often quite the opposite).
---
With that said, I want to say that the reason I bring up the Backseat GM archetype for discussion is because for the longest time, and still quite likely, is that I too am a Backseat GM. I try to help newer GMs, but I've found myself pissing off a lot of newer GMs by giving them advice when they didn't ask for it. Of course, I didn't mean to anger them, but looking back, my behavior made them less wanting to GM games because they didn't believe they were ever good enough.
So, do any of you have experiences with the Backseat GM? Do any of you think my observations need to be refined a little more? Do you think this topic is stupid?
Whatever it is, I'll hear what you have to say.