The Dragon (with apologies to Edgar Allen Poe)

[Zinovia]

The Dragon

Once upon a noontide sunny, while I watched a show most funny,
And pondered whether the hero with the heroine would score,
While I chuckled at their singing, suddenly there came a ringing,
It set the windchimes gently swinging, swinging at my 'partment door.
`'Tis just some kid,' I muttered, `ringing at my 'partment door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Abruptly did my memory dawn of my pre-order on Amazon,
And to the front door was I drawn with eagerness I lacked before.
Patiently I had awaited; - open swung my door, elated,
Saw a package lying stamped and dated - waited at my 'partment door,
A tome of rare and radiant knowledge in a parcel at my 'partment door,
A cardboard package on the floor.

I scooped it up with trembling hands, mind o'ercome with tenuous plans,
Of thrilling combats with fantastic terrors never seen before;
Now I held the second annual fourth edition Monster Manual,
And I hoped 'twould help me channel spirits of DM's of yore -
The great dungeon masters who had gone before;
May they live on forevermore.

Open quick I flung the cover, intently reading to discover,
New creatures for inspiring battles and frightening venues to explore -
When abruptly from the book did flutter a tiny dragon gold as butter
Who did land amidst the clutter of what passed for my decor -
Perched upon a shelf of minis just above my painting drawer -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this diminutive golden dragon sipped from last year's GenCon flagon,
Neatly drank my beer and belched with a dainty high-pitched roar.
`Thou'rt consuming beer without request, yet thou art surely honored guest,
Be welcome to all I may posess, for thy kind are Lawful Good in all the lore,'
I told the tiny golden dragon perched above my painting drawer -
Quoth the dragon, `Nevermore.'

'What's that?' asked I in startled wonder, 'Surely there must be some blunder -
Gold dragons should ally with the heroes' party in a close rapport;
All that is evil to be fighting, be it devils or undead for smiting,
Or epic level foes exciting; that's what golds are intended for -
That's what Lawful Good gold dragons are intended for.'
Quoth the dragon, 'Nevermore.'

I knew I must consult the sages, carefully I turned the pages,
Arriving at page eighty and the listing I was looking for -
Behold! What was it I did find? The gold was shown as Unaligned!
No longer friend to all mankind, but neutral now in peace or war -
The golden dragon minds its own concerns whether it be peace or war.
Always trusted nevermore.

'Golden dragon I do plead, should the party stand in need,
Of thy aid in some endeavor 'gainst foes you equally abhor,
Would you always stand our friend, or would that on bribery depend?
Can we no longer trust the creature that we once did all adore?
The great and golden dragon whom we once did all adore?'
Quoth the dragon, 'Nevermore.'

'Mayhap by this change the plot is freed,' I did grudgingly concede,
Metallic dragons may be indifferent, or as good as they were before,
Now the heroes must beware, no matter the color in a dragon's lair -
For good dragons do not despair, but you can't take it for granted anymore,
The shimmering metal dragons can't be taken for granted anymore,
Quoth the dragon, 'Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, little dragon' I said, upstarting -
`Get thee back into thy entry in the Monster Manual 2, I implore.
Leave no black scorch as a token of thy flames I have spoken!
Leave my miniatures unbroken! - quit the shelf above my drawer!
Little dragon unaligned and unpredictable as ne'er before,
Of my beer please drink no more - thy puppy-dog eyes I will ignore!'
Quoth the dragon, `Nevermore.'

 

[Zinovia]

By the way...

If you want to talk about the merits (or lack thereof) of making metallic dragons unaligned, there's already a thread about it in the 4E rules forums. Thanks!

 

[Klaus]

Such fine writing should be in some ancient volume of once-forgotten lore!
Much did I read and much did I adore!
Applauds from me and from Lenore!

 

[Zinovia]

Thank you for your words most kind, but I would be too unrefined,
Did I not credit Master Poe, his cunning Raven and fair Lenore.
To fit such complex scheme of rhyme, I admit it took some time,
Poe's masterwork sublime is far beyond my talents poor,
'Tis far beyond my limited and meager talents poor -
Yet still I thank you evermore.

 

[Nellisir]

I'm so, so, so sorry...

It's true you built on work inspiring;
Poe deserves his praise.
But your skill is worth admiring;
Your wit and patience does amaze.

Suffice to say, I admire;
The wisdom you have wrought
To write such work I aspire;
But the time I haven't got.

So William's scheme instead I mangle;
To compose this mangy piece.
I'm getting lazy; it's a tangle;
What the heck is haese?

Rhyming websites make it easy I admit;
Thirty minutes and click SUBMIT!