The Explicatae Incompositae - Being A Bestairy of the Sometime Lords of Chaos

Celebrim

Legend
Part the First: Introduction

I will now undertake to do something which I know to be foolish – provide for the reader a summary and overview of the race which is most commonly called ‘Slaad’ amongst the learned. There is much that is said regarding this race which is sheer poppycock and nonsense. This is hardly surprising, because in many ways the Slaad are the most nonsensical of all races of beings. The Slaad are truly random functions. Therefore any attempt to explain trends, to categorize, to generalize, or to make blanket statements is foredoomed to failure – including this one.

Nonetheless, since even saying that a function is random tells us something about its behavior which is predictable – namely that it is unpredictable – that we did not know before, I will risk joining my name to those illustrious scholars that have tread on these foolish paths before.

When reading any description of the Slaad one must first realize that any observation of Slaad behavior is immediately wrong. Slaad are not modrons. If you observe a Slaad doing something in a situation, there is simply no knowing whether a different Slaad in a different situation will do the same thing and in fact your best bet is to assume that in fact that every observation you have made is meaningless. If you don’t, you run the risk of making really foolish assumptions, for example, that the Slaad have a strict hierarchy. In fact, the Slaad have many strict hierarchies which they interchange and discard at random, which – as in so many other things regarding the Slaad – calls into question the definition of the word ‘strict’ or any other word that we might apply to them. For example, while I’ve said that the Slaad are random and this is strictly true, it is also true that they observe from time to time consistent patterns of behavior. It’s just that they engage in and discard these patterns of behavior randomly and unpredictably for no more reason than what might be called a whim. For example, there is no doubt in my mind that on occasion some scholar has observed the Slaad lining up one after the other to engage a foe in single combat. However, readers would be best advised not to expect this to occur. It might. Then in again, it might not.

To understand the slaad, it is best to understand what they are not and in understanding what they are not come to understand what little constancy we may observe in them. To begin with, slaad are not mindless engines of destruction. While it’s true that they arise out of mindlessness, the Slaad are not themselves mindless by necessity. They are agents of chaos, and as agents of chaos they are both creative and destructive just as chaos is both creative and destructive. The slaad are the embodiment of the destructive aspect of chaos but they are not mindless in their destructiveness. If they were, they would be agents of pure evil delighting in destruction for destructiveness’ sake. But the Slaad are not purveyors of nihilism however much meaninglessness they find in all things, but rather artists of destruction which use destruction as the means toward renewal and creativity. To the slaad way of thinking, if we may use such a phrase, destruction is beautiful not because it creates a void or pain or an absence, but because it is the harbinger of change and the enemy of stasis. A slaad delights in the rebirth as much as the destruction. In fact, in their own fashion, the slaad are beings of pure joy and if they could understand that they caused pain would be quite bewildered and perhaps unhappy to discover it. It is ultimately stasis, and perhaps only stasis, which is antithetical and hateful to the slaad, and it is the destruction of stasis that is their one true and universal motivation. It is impossible for a slaad to understand why anyone or thing should oppose such a great, and to a slaad, self-evidently good goal.

Then again, it’s impossible for a slaad to understand that anyone but that individual slaad actually exists and is not in fact a figment of their abundant imagination.

With this in mind it ought to be easy to understand that the Slaad are not the demonic fiends they are so often confused with. True, to someone who is in their way, the differences may seem to be putting too fine a point on it, as they are every bit as destructive as any force in the universe when they put their minds to it. But, the relative lack of influence the slaad have in mortal affairs compared to say demons or devils can be easily understood as the outcome of the slaad’s different motivations. Unlike either demons or devils, the Slaad have no desire to conquer or rule over anything, nor do they have any particular interest in being served or worshiped. As soon as something is thrown into disarray, they lose any interest in destroying it and disappear from its domain as quickly and mysteriously as they entered it. Unlike the demons, who never take real joy in anything but are rather beings of pain and rage whose only motivation is to extend that pain and rage to others, the Slaad have little real interest in other beings at all. In fact, the Slaad are generally amused by living things and find that above all other things in the universe, the ever changing and growing part of the universe we call alive deserves to continue existing. Many people are surprised to discover that the Slaad bear nearly as great an enmity to undead as the most devout Paladin – though perhaps for quite different reasons. It is only when living things try to hinder the universe from changing and grow so powerful as to be effectual in this desire that Slaad are truly put off.

For this reason, a slaad would never trample a flower, but rather would be inspired by its beauty. Not because of any loveliness of form, but rather because it is such a transitory and ephemeral thing. With so many rocks to crush in the world, a slaad would see someone that went out of his way to trample flowers as being as deranged as you or I would. But lest we grow too fond of these creatures remember that if the thought occurs to them, the average red slaad will set fire to an orphanage simply because they find the leaping ever changing flames more beautiful than anything that’s within the walls and it would be quite outside their ability to notice that they were destroying other beings, or if noticing to care. Fortunately, the brighter slaad tend to recognize that living creatures are more interesting alive than dead.

So on the whole, we may say that a traveler in the outer planes need not fear the Slaad any more than he fears a modron, and perhaps less, because there are no rules to break and thereby give offense. The slaad are not immoral beings and are no more likely to be an inconvenience to a traveler when approached on their terms than any other incarnate idea. Indeed, on rare occasions the slaad can even be said to be quite helpful, especially to a like minded being that amuses them. That being said, no traveler should devise a plan of action that depends on slaad behavior, for they seem to have a powerful sixth sense which enables them to know when someone expects them to act in a particular way and therefore they are sure to perversely act in the opposite fashion.

The origins of the slaad are lost in the depths of time, and unlike some of the other races they make no stories or histories so it is probably forever hidden from mortal understanding just how they came about. Those races inclined to make records prefer not to even think about the slaad. The following should therefore be considered shear wild speculation and guesses on the part of a learned fool. I think therefore it is probably more likely to be correct than any thing else except perhaps the babblings of a mad man. (Unfortunately, the best educated mad man I could find who might have known something on the subject must have known my intentions, because he shut up as soon as I began to scribble his rantings down.) It is my belief that in the early primal formlessness of Limbo, as the chaotic soup first began to eject from its substanceless expanse shadowy dreamlike things which were its first acts of creation, that there were (inevitably) impulses within these which by virtue of having form lost a certain degree of pure chaos, and which could be categorized therefore as being like or unlike to this other thing or the other. These first impulses, while still very chaotic indeed being just one step removed from pure chaos itself, nonetheless had in their substance certain trends and commonalities between them. They had as it were a purpose. Some of these purposes were largely creative in nature, for example, the impulse to create new and wonderful things. But since a purely creative impulse would not be chaotic, they were balanced by impulses which were largely destructive in nature which would ensure that the universe would have in it always room for new things, new experiences, and new acts of creation.

At least some of the more destructive of these early primal impulses became embodied as the first Slaad Lords. They are in fact something less than a being and something more than a force of nature. For reasons which I’m about to describe, it is not known and probably never will be known for certain how many of these Slaad lords exist. For one thing, the number is I have little doubt always in a state of flux as old Slaad Lords disappear and new ones appear, or as existing Slaad Lords merge or divide as suits them (or more precisely, as suits the chaotic impulse which drives and existantiates them). Although they seldom are recorded in mortal histories, the number of Slaad lords is – going by the names which are recorded – in fact very great: far greater than is commonly believed. Those Slaad Lords that are most commonly described in learned tomes on the matter – Ygorl, Ssendam, and a few others - are probably only those few Slaad Lords whose existence may be described as enduring on a mortal scale and which have dabbled in mortal affairs. But even in these cases we cannot be completely certain whether or not we are discussing the same entity, or whether we are describing a succession of entities each of which has born for reasons of its own the same name.

It is in fact the matter of names which makes the discussion of Slaad Lords so fraught with difficulty. As best as I or anyone else has been able to tell, slaad are unique among sentient free-willed beings in that they have no discoverable True Name – not even the seemingly unique and individual ones. It is therefore impossible to know with certainty whether any two beings are the same one in different forms, or whether any creature with the same form encountered twice is not in fact two different beings. The slaad give no permanent names to themselves; identifying themselves on one occasion by one name and then shedding the name like used clothing and using a wholly different one on a new occasion. Even names such as Ygorl or Ssendam are merely names given to the beings in question (if but one being they are) by history or scholars which have continued in use for a long period. This confusion exceeds the difficulty in enumerating the Gods, as not only any number of different names may be found which used to refer to the same being, or which at least appears to be the same being, but the Slaad have no real unease with being misidentified and come and go from history with far greater frequency. Despite the seemingly infinite variation, all names which Slaad give to themselves mean in fact the same thing - ‘me’. And likewise, all names which they give to other Slaad are singularly unhelpful variations on the theme of ‘it’.

It is my contention though that there are a finite number of these animating impulses from which the Slaad race is derived, and that these impulses are eternal even if the individual beings they give rise to are not. Therefore, despite the difficulties created by the Slaad Lords lack of actually useful names and consequent or attendant lack of true permanent forms, it is possible to roughly enumerate the major Slaad Lords by paying careful attention to the particular impulses which they incarnate.

The attentive reader may have surmised from my description thus far that the Slaad lords, while by no means immortal, are nonetheless in their own fashion indestructible or at least as indestructible as the chaotic impulses which animate them. There is some evidence in the texts that whenever the physical form of a Slaad lord is destroyed, one of the greater Slaad begins to transform into a new Slaad lord embodying the newly liberated impulse and often one which is similar to if not quite identical to the newly destroyed Slaad Lord. This is without question what happens in the case of a lesser Slaad slaying a Slaad Lord. There is even some indication in the texts that any being so rash and so potent as to destroy a Slaad Lord risks being caught up in this strange transformation process and, losing much of his former identity, ultimately turns into the destroyed Slaad Lord or at least a being quite like it.

This fact, if fact it is, gives us one further key to unlocking the mysteries of the Slaad Lords. For it is hardly surprising that the Slaad Lords should have such a great proliferation of names and forms if in fact they are, or at least many of them are, an endless procession beings arising to perform the same general function while still retaining some measure of individuality in the performance of the role. Similarly, this procession of identities is to the traveler which enjoys good relations with the Slaad yet another fact which should promote caution. For there is no knowing not just whether a given Slaad Lords mood and demeanor toward the traveler will change from moment to moment, but whether any given Slaad Lord which is encountered again at a latter point is even in fact the same individual at all and which might possess a character totally foreign to ones prior experience with the same apparent entity.

The Slaad Lords do not associate with each other, and never act in concert except in the face of a direct threat to the whole of Limbo or their race. They form no alliances or special friendships with each other or any other being, but there is a particular animosity between certain of the lords which may be put down to competing impulses. Naturally, the mere existence of the slaad is held to be an abomination by the lawfully aligned, and they likewise hold in contempt lawful beings of every sort.

A great number of scholars become fixated on what slaad appear to be. Correctly speaking, I can only describe what this slaad can be expected to appear like. If you have been following along, you should already realize this is likely to be the most unreliable of guides. The slaad as a race in the historical record have been described in many different ways. There current ‘toad’ phase is likely only to be a passing fad, and it is possible to find many lesser Slaad in rebellion to this current racial archetype wearing daring suggestions and alternatives like salamander, parakeet, hippo, chimpanzee, jackal or some hybrid thing which isn’t quite any of the above. This is true to an even greater extent of the Slaad Lords. Some scholars have wasted a great deal of words arguing over whether this Slaad Lord or the other is male or female. This greatly misses the point. The Slaad Lords are either male or female or neither or both. To them gender - and as often as not anything else about their bodies or minds - is something as impermanent and as artificially constructed as anything else in their existence.

That is about enough to go on for now. Should I continue with generalizing, I will be without a doubt misleading the reader further. The Slaad Lords are best described as individuals, not as collections. To this end, I will now endeavor to catalogue and describe the known Slaad Lords taking care to focus on the more obscure ones which are seldom mentioned elsewhere. Of the eighteen Slaad Lords, four – Ygorl, Ssendam, Chourst, and Renbou - are described adequately elsewhere in well known compendiums and any reader reading this dusty tome will likely have knowledge of them from those works. Of the other fourteen I plan to present, four of them I have directly observed and are to the best of my knowledge currently existing as of the writing of this tome. (If you reading this tome more than a few decades hence you can assume that all the knowledge herein is already out of date.) The remaining entries I have pieced together from bits of obscure lore and historical records. While I’m more or less convinced that each of these ten existed in the form described at one time or another, I cannot say with any degree of certainty whether they still exist or if they do exist whether the description I’ve provided is anything like the truth. This compendium, extensive as it may seem, is by necessity both incomplete and erroneous. In fact, it may be that some of the beings which I left out as too improbable and whose existence is too unsubstantiated, for example Nurster the Lord of Error or Jelicol the Lord of Flowers, are real and the whole catalog I’ve compiled are mere madman’s fantasies. Or perhaps they were real and are no more. Only the madman knows for sure, and he’s not telling.

I would advise the student of the planes to refrain from attempting to establish or contradict any of the facts herein because of the very real danger involved, but – should by chance the reader encounter any of the beings described herein – I would be obliged to hear of it.

With no further ado, let us begin with the menagerie.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Second: Baseraxs Lord of Deviance

Baseraxs, Lord of Deviance
Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 31d8 + 434 (682 hp)
Initiative: +9
Speed: 65 ft.
AC: 46 (-1 size, +5 Dex, +8 deflection, +24 natural) touch 17, flatfooted 41
Base Attack/Grapple: +25/+41
Attack: Claw +36 melee (2d8+12)
Full Attack: 2 claws +36 melee (2d8+12), bite +31 melee (2d10+6)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Aura of unease, chaos spittle, spell-like abilities, summon slaad
Special Qualities: Change shape, fast healing 15, damage reduction 35/lawful and epic, dark vision (infinite), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic damage, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 33
Saves: Fort +35, Ref +22, Will +23
Abilities: Str 34, Dex 21, Con 38, Int 22, Wis 22, Chr 26
Skills: Bluff +38, Climb +42, Concentration +46, Disguise +35, Escape Artist +35, Hide +35, Intimidate +38, Jump +42, Knowledge (Arcane) +33, Knowledge (Planes) +33, Listen +30, Move Silently +35, Search +36, Spot +36, Survival +35, Tumble +37
Feats: Acrobatic Strike, Cleave, Combat Tactician, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Epic Fortitude, Flay, Improved Initiative, Improved Feint, Mobility, Power Attack
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 24
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Baseraxs may be most easily identified by his upside down posture. When he appears as a Slaad, the lord of deviance walks on his hands and uses his raised legs as arms. His scales change color on a whim, but are always garish, outlandish and seemingly unnatural colors – purples, pinks, greens, and yellows which seem to glow from an internal light. It is said that he eats which his anus and defecates with his face and does almost every other thing the reverse of expectations.

All Slaad lords break the rules as a natural course, but primarily because they are not really aware that they exist. Baseraxs is acutely aware of the power of written law, traditions, and social mores and detests the ability of these things to bring stability to societies and the lives of individuals. Baseraxs is among the most subtle of the Slaad lords, and one of only a handful that regularly interacts directly with mortals. Baseraxs makes the breaking of laws and the overturning of natural order something of an artform. Working in disguise, Baseraxs plays the part of a flamboyant and bizarre mortal who brazenly breaks society’s expectations. Baseraxs loves fads and fashions, and anything which overturns long established traditions. He loves perverting morals and destroying ethics. He causes words to lose their established meaning and works to make communication difficult and imprecise. He detests written law and works to obscure the meaning of documents in the minds of society so that no one remembers or can agree on what they mean.

Combat
Baseraxs prefers to flee combat rather than fight, and to confuse and humiliate opponents rather than flee. When forced to defend himself or when attacked on Limbo, Baseraxs is a cunning opponent whose wild cartwheels and tumbling disguise the calculated advantage he is trying to obtain. When not humiliating and distracting opponents with his powerful spell-like abilities, Baseraxs is well defended by his vicious clawed feat and obdurate hide.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will – alter self, animate objects, chaos hammer (DC 22), cloak of chaos, control weather, deeper darkness, detect magic, dispel law (DC 23), emotion (DC 22), erase, fear (DC 22), fly, grease (extended duration, widened area, DC 19), greater dispelling, greater magic fang, identify, invisibility, magic circle against law, mass suggestion (DC 22), persistent image, reverse gravity, see invisibility, shatter (DC 20), stone shape, word of chaos (DC 24); 3/day limited wish, polymorph any object (DC 24), power word (any). Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
Aura of Unease: When not disguised, Baseraxs is truly disgusting and unsettling to behold. Anyone within 60’ must make a will save (DC 22) or be nauseated. Lawful creatures have a -4 penalty on this save, and even if the save is successful they suffer a -1 morale penalty on all actions due to the distraction.
Change Shape (Su): Baseraxs can assume any humanoid form as a standard action. In humanoid form, Baseraxs cannot use his natural weapons. Baseraxs may remain in this form until he chooses to assume a new one. The change in form may not be dispelled, but the Slaad Lord will revert to the normal form if killed. Even a true seeing spell does not reveal Baserax’s true form, only that Baseraxs is a disguised shapechanger.
Chaos Spittle (Ex): As a ranged touch attack, Baseraxs may spit or defecate primal chaos sludge on any target within 60’ which acts very much like acid. Those struck take 10d4 damage immediately, plus 10d4 damage for three additional rounds. Half of the damage from this attack is acidic and the other half is anarchic, so energy resistance or immunity will not completely protect a target.
Summon Slaad (Sp): Three times per day Baseraxs can attempt to summon 1-2 grey slaad with an 80% chance of success, or 1-6 green slaad with a 100% chance of success. This ability is equivalent to an 8th level spell.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Third: Breasdfea, Lord of Anarchy

Breasdfea, Lord of Anarchy
Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 30d8 + 330 (570 hp)
Initiative: +10
Speed: 80 ft.
AC: 41 (-1 size, +6 Dex, +6 deflection, +20 natural) touch 21, flatfooted 35
Base Attack/Grapple: +25/+40
Attack: Claw +35 melee (2d6+11)
Full Attack: 5 claws +35 melee (2d6+11), bite +33 melee (2d6+5)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Aura of anarchy, spell-like abilities, summon slaad
Special Qualities: At war with himself, blind sight (90’ radius), fast healing 20, damage reduction 30/lawful and epic, dark vision (120’), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic damage, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 31
Saves: Fort +28, Ref +23, Will +23
Abilities: Str 33, Dex 22, Con 33, Int 24, Wis 23, Chr 23
Skills: Bluff +36, Climb +38, Concentration +38, Disguise +35, Diplomacy +34, Escape Artist +33, Hide +33, Intimidate +36, Jump +36, Knowledge (History) +31, Knowledge (Planes) +34, Knowledge (Arcane) +34, Listen +34, Move Silently +37, Search +34, Spot +37, Survival +30, Tumble +31
Feats: Cleave, combat reflexes, crowd tactics, dodge, fleet-footed, frightful presence, improved initiative, mobility, multi-attack, opportunistic tactician, run
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 23
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Breasdfea normally chooses to appear as a tall slender Slaad with five arms and legs equally spaced around his body in a radial fashion. His body and head are grey, but the scales of his arms and legs are each of a different color – usually red, blue, green, grey, and black. Breasdfea is heavily scarred across his whole body and is covered with severe tumerous growths. Breasdfea normally constantly mutters and barks out angry obscenities in many tongues, his voice changing inflection every few moments as if arguing with himself. His arms are likewise occupied with wrestling with their neighbors and acting as if each has a will of its own, and a violent one at that, and if he does not have something to occupy each of them with one of them is sure to strike his own body for lack of a better target.

Although Breasdfea’s head may swivel in any direction, when he travels he never looks in the direction that he is going.

Philosophically, Breasdfea has much in common with Baseraxs, but where Baseraxs takes especial offense at laws and traditions themselves, Breadfea is offended by the continuing existence of the institutions that they create – governments, families, and religious institutions all arouse in him a fury. Breasdfea has no special interest in violence particularly, he is just as happy with subverting governments, peaceful revolutions and demonstrations, and internal collapses as he is with violent rebellion. The trouble is that he’s just as happy with a bloody civil war followed by purges, terrors and democide as he is with a peaceful transition.

Breasdfea has been known to aid those who have been in captivity for a long period. This seeming sense of compassion is unusual but is not unknown among the slaad, and likely stems from some other font than tender feelings. Any being which has been in captivity for longer than five years, which calls on Breasdfea repeatedly has a small chance of being heard and aided in an escape. Any creature that accepts this aid is however subject to a geas which compels him to rebel against and overthrow the institution which imprisoned him. Ironicly, it is often this very geas which leads to repeat imprisonment. Breasdfea seems to make no distinction over why a being has been imprisoned. An unrepentant murder in chains garners as much or as little sympathy as one unjustly sentenced. However, there does seem to be some direct relationship between the prowess of the supplicant and the chance of deliverance, perhaps because powerful individuals make better servants.

Combat
Breasdfea has little interest in combat but does not shirk it either. If challenged, Breasdfea wades into the midst of his enemies and begins hewing all around. Those he has a special distaste for, he causes to erupt with cancerous tumors (as the spell implosion).

Spell-Like Abilities: At will – alter self, animate objects, chaos hammer (DC 20), cloak of chaos, deeper darkness, detect magic, dispel law (DC 21), emotion (DC 20), fear (DC 20), fly, geas, greater magic fang, identify, insanity (DC 23), invisibility, knock, magic circle against law, mass suggestion (DC 20), mirror image, misdirection, see invisibility, shatter (DC 18), word of chaos (DC 23); 3/day limited wish, implosion (DC 25) Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
At War with Himself (Ex): As an incarnation of the spirit of rebellion, Breasdfeas own body is likewise in rebellion against itself. Not only does he sprout bizarre cancerous growths as bits of his body rebel and try to separate from or take over the parent body, but his mind and body are not entirely his own. On any round that Breasdfeas is unable to use his full five claws against opponents, one of his claws make an attack on his own person. This attack automatically hits and does the full normal damage.
Approximately once every hour, Breasdfeas sheds a large tumerous mass that has got out of control. This mass grows rapidly, and if not destroyed turns into either a red (50%) or blue slaad (50%) in 1d6 hours.
Finally, for reasons known only to himself, if indeed he has any, Breasdfeas never looks where he is going. He relies instead on his other senses to warn him of any immediate obstacles, but whenever he moves in a straight line beyond the range of his blindsight he is considered flat footed with respect to any attack which originates in the direction of his motion.
Aura of Anarchy (Su): Breasdfeas radiates an intense feeling of rebellion, resentment, and restlessness over a 300’ radius about him. When Breasdfeas is at rest and contented, this aura manifests itself as a wave of emotion, as the spell emotion when it generates hatred, with the exception that the effect only manifests itself when people interact with someone of a different social standing than themselves. When Breasdfea is angry or exalting, this aura manifests itself as wave of uncontrollable anger, as the spell emotion when set to rage, and anyone who has a hostile reaction to anyone in the immediate vicinity is forced to fight heedless of any danger for as long as they are within the aura’s effect. A successful Will saving throw versus DC 20 is required to avoid any of the effects of this aura.
Radial Form (Ex): Breasdfeas is laid out with a radial symmetry. Attackers receive only half the usual bonus for flanking him. Breasdfeas can make up to five claw attacks with a full attack action, but may only use three claws against targets facing any one hemisphere of his body.
Change Shape (Su): Breasdfeas can assume any humanoid form as a standard action. In humanoid form, Breasdfeas cannot use his natural weapons. Breasdfeas may remain in this form until he chooses to assume a new one. The change in form may not be dispelled, but the Slaad Lord will revert to his natural form if killed. Even a true seeing spell does not reveal Breasdfea’s natural form, only that Breasdfeas is a disguised shapechanger.
Summon Slaad (Sp): Three times per day Breasdfeas can attempt to summon 2-12 red slaad or 2-12 blue slaad with an 80% chance of success. This ability is equivalent to an 8th level spell.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Fourth, Dixtolredi Lord of Cacophony

Dixtolredi, Lord of Cacophony
Unique Huge Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 36d8 + 540 (828 hp)
Initiative: +8
Speed: 80 ft.
AC: 44 (-2 size, +4 Dex, +6 deflection, +26 natural) touch 18, flatfooted 40
Base Attack/Grapple: +28/+51
Attack: Claw +41 melee (2d10+15, 19-20/x2)
Full Attack: 2 claws +41 melee (2d10+15, 19-20/x2), 10 bite +39 melee (2d8+7)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Babble, cacophony, devour, many headed, spell-like abilities, summon slaad
Special Qualities: Fast healing 15, damage reduction 35/epic and lawful, dark vision (120’), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic damage, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 34
Saves: Fort +35, Ref +24, Will +23
Abilities: Str 40, Dex 19, Con 41, Int 21, Wis 17, Chr 23
Skills: Appraise +33, Bluff +34, Climb +43, Concentration +43, Diplomacy +34, Escape Artist +32, Intimidate +35, Jump +43, Knowledge (Arcana) +33, Knowledge (Geography) +33, Knowledge (History) +33, Knowledge (Planes) +33, Knowledge (Religion) +33, Listen +32, Search +37, Spot +36, Spellcraft +33, Survival +31
Feats: Awesome blow, cleave, combat reflexes, dodge, improved combat reflexes, improved critical (claw), improved initiative, large and in charge, leap attack, mobility, multi-attack, power attack, powerful charge
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 26
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

The dread lord Dixtolredi seldom leaves the safe and comforting environments of Limbo, for he finds any other environment too harmonious to endure. On the rare occasions he finds himself anywhere else, he sets about to render his new environment a more pleasing state of strife, contention, and noise. There is nothing Dixtolredi loves more than an argument, and the more pointless the point of contention, the better. Anyone that calls for quiet near him provokes in him immediate fury.

Befitting his purpose, Dixtolredi is well-equipped with the means to quarrel, for his squat, corpulent ape-like body is surmounted by a veritable riot of heads all of which will bicker, shout, argue, sing, babble, screech, nag, croak, bark, squeal, roar, howl, laugh and scream at each other if they can find no more diverting employment. Most of his heads are toad-like, but occasionally the heads of snakes, storks, dogs, giants, and others will emerge. His body is toadlike and covered with scales, and his scales are drab brown and grays. A shock of white hair like a horse’s mane graces his back.

Dixtolredi is actually a sage of extraordinary ability and breadth and freely trades knowledge with anyone who will endure him. Unfortunately, the utility of this is somewhat questionable, as no matter what question he’s asked, his various heads are sure to have at least four usually contradictory answers and will soon fall to arguing over which is correct.

Combat
Befitting one of the greatest of the Slaad lords, Dixtolredi is a truly devastating opponent in combat, leaping up and smashing opponents to jelly with his great claws, grabbing helpless victims up and devouring opponents with his many mouths, while keeping up a constant stream of spell-like effects to keep his opponents off balance.

Spell-Like Abilities: At will – alter self, animate objects, bestow curse (DC 19), chaos hammer (DC 20), cloak of chaos (DC 24), control weather, detect magic, dispel law (DC 21), emotion (DC 20), fly, greater command (DC 21), greater magic fang, identify, insanity (DC 23), invisibility, magic circle against law, mass suggestion (DC 22), see invisibility, shatter (DC 18), shout (DC 20), sound burst (DC 18), ventriloquism, whispering wind, word of chaos (DC 27); 3/day earthquake, demand (DC 24), implosion (DC 25), limited wish, power word (any). Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
Babble (Su): By touch, Dixtolredi can remove the power of intelligible speech from any sentient being (DC 34 will save to resist). Any attempt at speech comes out as gibberish , and any heard speech sounds to the victim like nonsense. Those so suffering cannot communicate by either voice or thought and are reduced to gesturing or writing to make themselves understood. Spells with verbal components automatically fail. Only a wish, miracle or similarly powerful magic can break this curse.
Cacophony (Ex): Dixtolredi simply cannot shut up – even if one mind thought of it, the others would shout it down - and is at full blast one of the loudest things in the multiverse.

• Dixtolredi has a -40 penalty on hide and -80 penalty on move silently checks. Despite the bedlam, Dixtolredi has no problem hearing in his own noise.
• Any creature within 60’ of Dixtolredi is treated as if they were deafened with no save and furthermore must make a DC 25 fortitude saving throw or be permanently deafened. Even those that succeed in this saving throw remain deafened for as long as they are within range and for 2d12 minutes thereafter. To many this may be considered a mercy.
• When Dixtolredi is angered the cacophony reaches a scale that is truly blistering. Each round, all targets within 120’ must make DC 16 fortitude save or be stunned for 1d3 rounds. Being deaf only adds a +4 circumstance bonus to the save. It’s just that loud.
• Any magical silence effect within 120’ is struck as by a greater dispelling effect each round. A magical silence spell actually centered on Dixtolredi or an item in his possession automatically fails, but Dixtoleri suffers 1d6 damage for every two levels of the spell caster.

Devour (Ex): If Dixtolredi successfully grapples an opponent; he may pull them up against his many mouths to devour them. This inflicts a number of attacks equal to that he may direct against a target one size class larger than the victim and does not count against the ten bite attacks that Dixtolredi may normally make in a round.
Many Headed (Ex): Dixtolredi has multiple minds and is able to focus his attention on more than one activity at once. Fortunately for his enemies, most of his minds are too busy with their agenda to make the most efficient use of his brain power. As a consequence of his multi-headed nature:

• Dixtolredi may make an additional standard action in each round.
• Dixtolredi is immune to death by beheading. No matter how many heads are hewed off, more will always appear.
• Dixtolredi may make up to 10 bite attacks in a single round, but the number of bite attacks made against a single target cannot exceed 1 for medium-sized or smaller target, 4 for a large target, or 10 for a huge or larger target.
• In his natural form, Dixtolredi cannot be flanked.
• In his natural form, Dixtolredi has a +4 racial bonus to spot and search checks, and he may take 20 on a spot or search check as a free action.
• Dixtolredi’s multiple and rebellious minds make him particularly resistant to attacks on his will. Whenever he is the target of an effect which allows a Will saving throw, he may make two saving throws and take the superior result. Furthermore, if the there is a continuing effect he is allowed an additional saving throw for each round that passes.
• Because he is in constant debate with himself, Dixtolredi may retry and take 20 on all knowledge checks.

Summon Slaad (Sp): Three times per day, Dixtolredi may summon 1d4 grey slaad with 100% chance of success. This ability is equivalent to a 9th level spell.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Fifth, Haskismet, Lord of Mischief

Haskismet, Lord of Mischief
Unique Small Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 30d8 + 270 (510 hp)
Initiative: +12
Speed: 40 ft./120 ft. flying (good)
AC: 45 (+1 size, +8 Dex, +10 deflection, +16 natural) touch 29, flat-footed 37
Base Attack/Grapple: +25/+26
Attack: Claw +31 melee (1d4+5)
Full Attack: 2 claws +31 melee (1d4+5), 1 bite +26 melee (1d6+2)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Lord of chaos, sneak attack, spell-like abilities, summon aid, wild shape
Special Qualities: Evasion, fast healing 5, damage reduction 20/epic and lawful, dark vision (infinite), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic damage, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 35, uncanny dodge
Saves: Fort +26, Ref +25, Will +24
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 27, Con 28, Int 28, Wis 25, Chr 31
Skills: Appraise +37, Bluff +44, Concentration +37, Diplomacy +38, Escape Artist +36, Hide +42, Knowledge (Arcana) +37, Knowledge (Geography) +33, Knowledge (History) +37, Knowledge (Planes) +37, Knowledge (Religion) +29, Listen +35, Move Silently +42, Search +37, Sense Motive +35, Sleight of Hand +42, Spot +35, Spellcraft +37, Survival +24, Tumble +40
Feats: Aerial reflexes, aerial superiority, close-quarters fighting, combat reflexes, dodge, elusive target, fast wild shape, giant slayer, improved initiative, mobility, power attack
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 24
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Haskismet has the head of a toad, the body, arms, and tail of a monkey, the wings of a parrot, the hind legs of a dog, a back covered with spines like a hedgehog, and voice most commonly described as that of a beautiful woman. Of all the Slaad Lords, Haskismet is probably the most atypical of the atypical lot. Haskismet is in its usual natural form is the smallest of the Slaad Lords – barely 4’ tall. Haskismet is also perhaps the most intelligent and charismatic of the Slaad Lords, and the one which seems to most possess a genuine personality. In behavior and philosophy, Haskismet often seems more like some of the more mischievous fey than the monstrous slaad, and it is possible that Haskismet represents the far end of the spectrum of slaad destructive tendencies – the nearest of the slaad to being a constructive and even good being. On the other hand, Haskismet seems to be the only Slaad Lord that genuinely delights in tormenting other beings, perhaps because Haskismet seems to be the only Slaad Lord that genuinely understands the difference between another living thinking being and any other sort of object and between reality and illusion. So perhaps Haskismet represents the far opposite end of the slaad spectrum, the closest a slaad lord comes to going beyond the monstrous to the truly demonic. Or perhaps, it is something of both.

Although Haskismet is most commonly called ‘the Lord of Mischief’, perhaps the more fitting titles are the ones found in the most obscure lore – ‘the Lord of Comedy and Tragedy’ and also the ‘the Lord of Unexpected Consequences’. She, if we can dare the pronoun, seems to see the world as her stage and all the other beings mere actors to amuse her, and what seems to amuse her most is that moment in which the outcome of a story hangs in the balance and on the merest chance the story will turn from comedy to tragedy or from tragedy to farce. She delights in the upsetting of carefully laid plans, but rather than derailing them in the easiest and most direct fashion instead causes them to fall apart only at the last possible minute, only in the most labyrinthine fashion, and only in such an unexpected way that the outcome of the plan is something completed unanticipated by the original planner. She is even known to help a plan she is derailing along if it runs into difficulty to early in the story for her taste just so she can pull the carpet out from under it to grander effect later.

Haskismet does not serve the other Slaad Lords, nor they her, but she does perform something of a function amongst them. Haskismet is the only Slaad Lord which may freely converse with all the other Slaad Lords, perhaps because she is not feared by any of the others, and so seems to serve as something of a path of communication between them. Likewise, she is one of the few Slaad Lords which is not bound to the plane it finds itself on, and is capable of transporting herself and companions to and from the plane of Limbo. Thus she is also something of a conveyance for the Slaad Lords as well, and perhaps as she sees it this is only part of her role of conductor and director – arranging the other Slaad Lords like props on a stage.

Combat
Haskismet rarely stays in combat for long, especially if truly threatened. The most common tactic is to summon some sort of unpleasantness and then to simply flee. If pressed she is a mighty and subtle spell-caster, and employs her abilities with the utmost cunning. If Haskismet flees, it is far from the end of the matter - a being which earns her ire will almost certainly find all of its careful plans coming apart just when they least expect it.

Spell-Like Abilities: At will – alter self, animate objects, bestow curse (DC 24), break enchantment, chaos hammer (DC 28), cloak of chaos (DC 30), confusion (DC 24), control weather, deeper darkness, detect magic, dispel law (DC 27), emotion (DC 24), enlarge, erase, ethereal jaunt, fireball (DC 23), freedom of movement, grease (DC 21), greater dispelling, greater magic fang, hideous laughter (DC 22), identify, invisibility, magic circle against law, mass suggestion (DC 26), mirror image, misdirection, mislead, persistent image, prying eyes, reduce, screen, see invisibility, shatter (DC 22), telekinesis, unseen servant, word of chaos (DC 29); 3/day limited wish, plane shift, polymorph any object (DC 28), power word (any), maze, time stop, wind walk. Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
Lord of Chaos (Su): Any spell-like ability Haskismet employs gains the chaos descriptor. If the spell-like ability already has the chaos descriptor, the DC of saves vs. this spell is increased by +2, and it is automatically widened (when appropriate) as the metamagic feat widen spell. Three times per day as a free action, Haskismet may maximize any spell-like ability she casts as if the metamagic feat maximize spell had been applied.
Sneak Attack (Ex): Haskismet may employ sneak attack as a 10th level rogue (5d6 damage).
Summon Aid (Sp): Three times per day Haskismet may attempt to summon a 1d4 grey slaad with a 100% chance of success, or 1 death slaad with an 80% chance of success, or any other Slaad Lord with a 10% chance of success. Haskismet enjoys good relations with all the fey. If on the plane of Limbo, once per day Haskismet may summon 3-18 Quarks. If on prime material plane, Haskismet may summon 3-18 pixies or 3-18 quicklings (50% chance of either), once per day. Treat this ability as a sixth level spell.
Wild Shape (Su): Haskismet may employ the wild shape ability as a 20th level druid.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Sixth, Loarsraol, Lord of Paradox

Loarsraol, Lord of Paradox
Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 37d8 + 518 (814 hp)
Initiative: +9
Speed: 60 ft.
AC: 46 (-1 size, +5 Dex, +6 deflection, +26 natural)
Base Attack/Grapple: +27/+43
Attack: Claw + 39 melee (2d6+12, 19-20/x2)
Full Attack: 8 Claws +39 melee (2d6+12, 19-20/x2) 2 bite +34 melee (2d8+6)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Aura of chaos, open the mind, spell-like abilities, summon slaad
Special Qualities: Back to back, change shape, fast healing 15, damage reduction 35/epic and lawful, dark vision (infinite), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic damage, of two minds, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 34
Saves: Fort +34, Ref +25, Will +28
Abilities: Str 35, Dex 21, Con 38, Int 28, Wis 26, Chr 22
Skills: Appraise +45, Climb +47, Bluff +42, Concentration +50, Diplomacy +42, Escape Artist +41, Hide +37, Intimidate +41, Knowledge (Arcana) +50, Knowledge (Planes) +45, Knowledge (Religion) +45, Jump +47, Listen +44, Move Silently +41, Search +45, Sense Motive +44, Spot +44, Spellcraft +45, Survival +38
Feats: Arcane mastery, cleave, combat reflexes, combat expertise, dodge, improved combat reflexes, epic spellcasting, improved critical (claw), improved initiative, improved sunder, mobility, power attack, tenacious magic (polymorph any object)
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 27
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Of all the Slaad Lords, Loarsraol Lord of Paradox is perhaps the most passive and the least interested in the affairs of mortals and he seldom considers them in his schemes. Mere mortal institutions and laws do not concern him, but rather he spends his efforts seeking to undermine the natural laws of reality itself in an effort to ensure that the universe forever remains beyond the ability of rational thought to understand. His impulse drives him to ensuring that systems of logic and mathematics are forever incomplete, that reasoned argument always leads to internal contradictions and that two mutually exclusive conjectures are nonetheless both observably true. Loarsraol therefore spends most of his days in solitary thought, pacing idly about Limbo, debating with himself, and conjuring up ever more bizarre fantasies with which to imprint upon reality.

In appearance, Loarsraol appears to be two large slaad joined at the waist and sharing but a single barrel shaped torso. One slaad is black on one side and red on the other, while the reverse slaad is white on one side and blue on the other. When one walks forward, the other is compelled to walk backward. When Loarsraol speaks, the other head always speaks at the exact same time and always says something with the exact opposite meaning of the first head. When one head speaks the truth, the other lies, and when one head lies, the other speaks the truth. Unfortunately, it’s quite impossible to tell at any given moment which head is lying and which is not, since there is no pattern to it. Complicating matters further, Loarsraol is such a cunning speaker that often though both heads say apparently conflicting things, both heads are speaking the truth or both are lying, and the intention of Loarsraol’s thought can only be surmised by wedding the two disparate ideas.

Loarsraol is usually a fairly affable companion as slaadi go. Provided he does not feel he has been distracted at a key moment, he is easily diverted by puzzles, riddles, and questions of a metaphysical nature. He relishes puzzles and enigmas of all sorts – especially original ones that he has not heard before. It is rumored in many tomes that Loarsraol may be challenged to a riddling game, and if the challenger wins that Loarsraol will grant them one wish and if the challenger loses, that Loarsraol will devour their soul. Personally, I do not trust this rumor, for it seems entirely out of character for a slaad to devise a game with actual rules. Besides which, it is far more in character for Loarsraol to eat the losers mind than to eat his soul.

Because they derive from competing impulses, there is great enmity between Loarsroal and Ssendam, and Loarsraol takes pains in his wanderings to avoid meeting the mad king. When such encounters do occur, all of Limbo is said to reverberate with the clash.

Combat
Loarsraol has relatively little interest in physical combat. He sees it as an annoyance and a distraction from his more diverting employments. He is fond of disintegrating offending distractions, rendering them mindless, or turning them into mice, but if forced to behave in a more brutish fashion, he is quite capable of defending himself. His arms are bladed like a blue slaad, allowing him to make two attacks with each of his four arms.

Spell-Like Abilities: At will – alter self, analyze dweomer, animate objects, astral projection, break enchantment, chaos hammer (DC 20), cloak of chaos (DC 24), control weather, demand (DC 24), detect magic, dimension door, disintegrate (DC 22), dispel law (DC 21), emotion (DC 20), feeblemind (DC 21), greater dispelling, greater magic fang, invisibility, insanity (DC 21), magic circle against law, mass suggestion (DC 22), mirage arcane, mirror image, misdirection, mislead, persistent image, reverse gravity, scrying, shatter (DC 18), shrink item, speak with the dead, true seeing, word of chaos (DC 27); 3/day disjunction, polymorph any object (DC 24), power word (any), wish Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
Aura of Chaos (Su): Loarsroal is permanently surrounded by an aura of powerful chaos which acts as a magic circle against law with an 80’ radius, and any chaotically aligned ally (including Loarsroal) within this area is treated as if protected by protection from law and a globe of invulnerability. Meanwhile, any lawful being in this area is subject to a -1 penalty on attack rolls, damage rolls, and saves. Any spell with a lawful descriptor in that area is subject to a greater dispel each round as a spell caster of Loarsraol’s caster level. Any attempt to cast a spell with a lawful descriptor in that area is subject to a counterspell as by a dispel magic of Loarsraol’s caster level.
Back to Back (Ex): Loarsroal faces in both directions. He therefore cannot be flanked. On the other hand, when making a full attack action, he may only direct 4 claw attacks and one bite into any single hemisphere, as the other half will always be facing the other way.
Change Shape (Su): Loarsroal can assume any humanoid form as a standard action. In humanoid form, Loarsroal cannot use his natural weapons. Loarsroal may remain in this form until he chooses to assume a new one. The change in form may not be dispelled, but the Slaad Lord will revert to his natural form if killed. Even a true seeing spell does not reveal Breasdfea’s natural form, only that Loarsroal is a disguised shapechanger.
Of Two Minds (Ex): Loarsroal contains two independent beings within the same body. This grants him the following advantages:
  • Loarsroal may make an extra standard action every round.
  • Whenever required to make a Will saving throw, Loarsroal may make two Will saves and keep the better one.
  • On any intelligence or wisdom check, or any skill check dependent on intelligence or wisdom, Loarsroal may make two checks and keep the best result.
Open the Mind (Su): By touch, Loarsroal may force upon any sentient being a revelation which forces them to attempt to correlate all the contents of its mind and resolve the contradictions it finds there. In many this is a terrible and mind shattering experience and they retreat from it into mindless insanity. The effect is as the spell feeblemind (DC 35) with the exception that no intelligent creature (not even deities) is immune even if otherwise immune to mind effecting spells. Lawful outsiders are especially afflicted by this terrible power and suffer a penalty on the saving throw equal to their intelligence bonus.
Quintessance (Su): Loarsroal is an elemental and primal force of nature, deeply entwined with the very fabric of the multverse. As such, he as effectively a pool of 20,000 XP per day which he can spend on spells and epic spellcasting at no cost to himself. Being possibly as old as the universe and principally spending his time developing epic spells, Loarsroal may be presumed to know all epic spells with a spellcraft DC of 65 or less and which have a cost to develop of 20,000 XP or less and to have devised a great many unique effects which delight him. His vast knowledge grants him 7 epic spell slots with which to prepare such spells.
Summon Slaad (Sp): Three times per day Loarsroal can attempt to summon 2-5 grey slaad or 2-8 green slaad with 100% chance of success. This ability is equivalent to an 9th level spell.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Seventh, Kliugbul, Lord of Absurdity

Kliugbul, Lord of Absurdity
Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 33d8 + 429 (693 hp)
Initiative: +10
Speed: 80 ft./80 ft. flying (perfect)
AC: 47 (-1 size, +7 Dex, +7 deflection, +24 natural)
Base Attack/Grapple: +26/+39
Attack: Claw +34 melee (2d6+9)
Full Attack: 2 claws +34 (2d6+9), 2 kick +32 melee (1d6+4), bite +32 melee (2d8+4),
Space/Reach: 5 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Perfect nonsense, spell-like abilities, summon slaad
Special Qualities: change shape, fast healing 15, extended reach, damage reduction 30/epic and lawful, dark vision (infinite), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic damage, perfect balance, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 33, trap finding
Saves: Fort +31, Ref +25, Will +24
Abilities: Str 28, Dex 25, Con 36, Int 22, Wis 22, Chr 25
Skills: Balance +44, Bluff +58, Climb +32, Concentration +36, Craft (Trapmaking) +38, Disable Device +30, Diplomacy +22, Escape Artist +31, Hide +31, Intimidate +22, Jump +32, Listen +37, Move Silently +30, Perform +40, Search +29, Sense Motive +21, Spot +29, Survival +21, Tumble +38
Feats: Combat reflexes, combat expertise, dodge, elusive target, improved combat expertise, improved disarm, improved initiative, improved trip, mobility, multiattack, power attack, roof walker, spring attack
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 25
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

It is not possible to describe what the being known as Kluigbul looks like, since he changes form on a regular basis. It is only possible to set the general scene. Kluigbul prefers impossibly tall and slender legs, such as the legs of a flamingo, stork or harvestman – and not necessarily in the expected numbers. Atop this Kluigbul prefers the body of some fat-bodied and contrasting torso, like a swan or hippo, and then atop that some equally long or impossible neck – cranes, swans, or giraffes are good here. His arms are generally ape-like or draconian, and he completes the ensemble with some outrageous tail such as that of a lion or a crane fly and a mane of infant’s arms or dandelions or some other impossible thing. His head is that of a toad with a single cyclopean eye, and he’s particularly found of garish face paint, particularly to accentuate the lips. All of this will be balanced atop a large brightly colored spinning ball, and atop his head some colorful top hat with feathers atop of which will be balanced an arrow on its point, and atop that will be balanced an egg or a turnip, and atop that he’ll have balanced a terrified squealing pig.

Kluigbul is driven by the impulse of surrealism, and seeks to promote the experience that reality is but an absurd dream, a silly illusion, which must be accepted and if you have the strength mocked. He does not seek to make war on law. He seeks to destroy the belief in law, and thereby shift the balance of the universe in favor of chaos. He frequently travels among mortals spending long sessions on the prime material plane, perhaps more so than any other Slaad Lord. When among mortals he wears the disguise of a fool, a comic tramp, an outlandish bard, or a jester and in this guise he tells darkly humorous stories of the injustice of life, its basic unfairness, and its utter incomprehensibility and ridiculousness. If Kluigbul is aware of the irony of this, he makes no sign of it.

Although few apart from the learned know Kluigbul by that name, he is well known in many cultures by many names as a great trickster spirit or cultural hero who humiliates the great and proud and who makes fools of tyrants. Among the more common stories told include the tale of the duel between Kluigbul in the form of a simpleton and a great paladin champion, at the end of which the hapless and now naked Paladin is found by the villagers having spent a cold night helplessly balanced atop his upright great lance like some bizarre penent. Many other stories of this mode exist, with Kluigbul besting in a similar fashion both devils and angels, wise and beloved kings and tyrants alike. At least half of them are probably true.

In some fashion that is not understood, Kluigbul seems to play a large role in determining the current body fads and fashions among the slaad and it seems likely the he more so than any other single figure is responsible for the current fondness for toad-like forms. Likewise, Kluigbul seems to have a rather large following amongst the lesser Slaad, and is the target of something akin to hero worship by the lesser slaad, and will generally be sited as a lesser slaad as the thing that they would most like to be in the universe if they were not their own magnificent (in their own estimation) self. So, in truth it might well be Kluigbul which has the greatest sway over the slaad race as a whole and not one of the greater lords.

Not that that is necessarily saying much.

Combat
Kluigbul seems genuinely unaware that anyone would consider trying to destroy him, even when any observer would mark that as their obvious intent. Kluigbul therefore treats all combats as a sort of game, where the object is to demonstrate your greater sense of humor than your opponent. That is to say, Kluigbul never passes up a chance to humiliate opponents if it presents itself, and seldom is interested in making the contest mortal if some funnier option is available.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will – alter self, animate objects, bestow curse (DC 20), chaos hammer (DC 21), charm monster (DC 21), cloak of chaos (DC 24), detect law, detect magic, dimension door, dispel law (DC 22), dispel magic, featherfall, feeblemind (DC 22), grease (DC 18), greater magic fang, hideous laughter (DC 19), invisibility, insanity (DC 22), magic circle against law, major creation, mass suggestion (DC 23), mirror image, misdirection, mislead, persistent image, phantasmal killer (DC 21), shrink item, stinking cloud (DC 20), transmute rock to mud, true seeing, wind walk, word of chaos (DC 28); 3/day ethereal jaunt, limited wish, polymorph any object (DC 25), power word (stun); 1/day wierd (DC 26) Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
Change Shape (Su): Kluigbul can assume any humanoid form as a standard action. In humanoid form, Kluigbul cannot use his natural weapons. Kluigbul may remain in this form until he chooses to assume a new one. The change in form may not be dispelled, but the Slaad Lord will revert to his natural form if killed. Even a true seeing spell does not reveal Kluigbul’s natural form, only that Kluigbul is a disguised shapechanger.
Extended Reach (Ex): In any form medium-sized or larger, Kluigbul’s reach is 5’ longer than normal for his size class.
Perfect Balance (Su): Kluigbul has the ability to balance any object up to his maximum lift perfectly atop any other object regardless of the sizes of the objects or their ability to support weight in defiance of the normal laws of the universe. While this power continues, the effect of this is as follows:
  • Kluigbul never fails a balance check, regardless of difficulty, unless he desires to (usually for comic effect). He may literally balance himself atop a mile high stack of marbles only a single marble wide if he so chooses. He may balance on air, and walk on a single floating bit of dust as stably as on solid ground. His ability to fly perfectly in any direction is a result of this, and his flying ability is surpressed whenever his perfect balance is suppressed or in a vacuum.
  • Kluigbul automatically avoids any trip attack and automatically succeeds in any check to avoid falling prone.
  • By touch, Kluigbul may extend this power to any object weighing up to his maximum lift whether animate or inanimate. In the case of inanimate objects, the object remains balanced wherever he put it indefinitely, and may only be moved by a force sufficient to lift and move the object itself. He may therefore balance a boulder atop an upright sword point, and no amount of pushing and shoving may move it unless the being is capable of lifting the boulder off its perch, unless the power of perfect balance is suppressed or the object receives the merest touch by an object or being which would radiate at least a strong aura of law (as the spell detect law). Then the power is dispelled and the normal laws of the universe reexert themselves.
  • In the case of an animate object, if the being is chaotic in nature the power of perfect balance extends until the being touches firm footing and is not required to make a balance check – at which point it is dispelled. If the being is not-chaotic, the power continues only so long as the being does not move from the position that they are perched in. If a non-chaotic being attempts to move from that position, the power is immediately dispelled. Kluigbul is fond of leaving enemies balanced helplessly in precarious places, such as on a cloud, atop a slender pole, in the tops of trees, or simply in midair. Unwilling beings recieve no saving throw, nor is spell resistance of any help (of course, self-rescue may still be possible, if only by the expedient of falling).
Kluigbul’s power of perfect balance may not be dispelled by ordinary magic. It is however immediately suppressed when within a magic circle against chaos or an anti-magic field. In such cases, Kluigbul must rely on his ordinary but still quite gifted skills at balance.
Perfect Nonsense (Ex): Kluigbul has the ability to make anything, no matter how absurd, unreasonable, and even self-destructive seem to be perfectly reasonable. As a result, he receives a +20 insight bonus on bluff checks, and he may issue even suicidal instructions to those under his magical sway and they will seem perfectly reasonable suggestions. However, when Kluigbul exercises this power, lawful victims recieve a +4 bonus to resist.
Summon Slaad (Sp): Three times per day Kluigbul can attempt to summon 2-20 red slaad or 2-16 blue slaad with 100% chance of success. This ability is equivalent to an 9th level spell.
Trapfinding (Ex): Kluigbul possesses the ability to find traps with DC’s greater than 20, as the rogue ability of the same name
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Eighth, Ofingreshiritfik, Lord of Turmoil

Ofingreshiritfik, Lord of Turmoil
Unique Huge Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar, Swarm of Tiny Creatures)
Hit Dice: 39d8 + 293 (605 hp)
Initiative: +14
Speed: 40 ft./20 ft. burrowing/20 ft. climb
AC: 38 (-2 size, +10 Dex, +6 deflection, +16 natural)
Base Attack/Grapple: +29/+45
Attack: Swarm (8d6), throw debris +37 ranged (2d6+5)
Full Attack: Swarm (8d6), 9 throw debris +37 ranged (2d6+5),
Space/Reach: 15’ ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction, independent agents, spell-like abilities, summon slaad, swarm, throw debris
Special Qualities: fast healing 20, damage reduction 10/epic and lawful, dark vision (60’), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic damage, mean little buggers, put it all back, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 35, survivors, swarm traits, trap finding
Saves: Fort +28, Ref +31, Will +25
Abilities: Str 26, Dex 31, Con 24, Int 16, Wis 19, Chr 22
Skills: Climb +51, Concentration +42, Craft (Any) +7, Disable Device +52, Hide +45, Intimidate +41, Jump +43, Knowledge (Architecture & Engineering) +19, Listen +39, Move Silently +45, Open Locks +45, Search +38, Spot +39, Survival +24, Tumble +45
Feats: Blinding speed (x2), dodge, epic toughness, ineluctable echo, improved initiative, improved spell resistance, extraordinary concentration, frightful presence, live my nightmare, mobility, mobile spellcasting, run, spell focus (chaos)
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 25
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

When people who have learned enough to know a little bit, and therefore think that they know everything, think of the slaad, they generally think of mindless engines of destruction leaving chaos and disaster in their wake. It’s probably something like Ofingreshiritfik that they are thinking of, except that the actual Ofingreshiritfik is generally quite beyond their ability to imagine.

Ofingreshiritfik is frequently mistaken for a swarm. This is a misnomer. A swarm is a closely packed group of individuals. Ofingreshiritfik is a single being with many bodies – actually, about 1000 1’ high bodies weighing about 10 lbs. each. Each body typically looks like a minature slaad. The best way to describe Ofingreshiritfik is that he is a force of nature with the personality of a precocious and very spoiled child. As far as Ofingreshiritfik is concerned, the best things in life are taking things apart and strewing the pieces about. He particularly likes to take apart complex things. Living things are neat, but the pieces tend to be too small to really study. What Ofingreshiritfik really likes to take apart are machines. Once Ofingreshiritfik has taken something apart, he then likes to throw the pieces. Watching things move, bounce, smash, and fly apart is the second best thing in the universe. After that, if it was particularly interesting and satisfying to pull it apart, Ofingreshiritfik considers putting the thing back together again so that he can pull it apart again later, but often that would be simply too much trouble and he lacks the attention span for it. So he usually moves on.

Ofingreshiritfik is not the most reflective Slaad Lord, and tends to be one of the most dangerous. Plants, animals, and most sentient beings that get in his path are likely to be taken apart. The only thing that Ofingreshiritfik considers reasonably entertaining about living creatures is their capacity to build amusing objects, and the way that they scurry about in an interesting and unpredictable fashion. Individuals that have a demonstrated ability to craft things – and Ofingreshiritfik by this point can recognize craftsman by garb, tools, and their shops – may be spared, if not necessarily their creations.

Ofingreshiritfik spends a surprisingly large amount of time on the prime, where he’s depredations are frequently mistaken for natural phenomenon such as a earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, or tsunami. But, he’s also capable of much more subtle destructiveness when it amuses him. For example, he’s been known to observe a settled community from some place of concealment and through his agents wreck and destroy various interesting items just for the opportunity to observe the turmoil that this creates in the inhabitants. And in this fashion, Ofingreshiritfik may get the satisfication to wreck the same machine or object on many occasions, while its frantic guardians laboriously repair the damage for him.

In fact, Ofingreshiritfik has upon occasion been so impressed – or at least entertained - by an engineer, artisan, or inventor as to become positively protective of them.

Combat

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At will – animate objects, blur, chaos hammer (DC 21), cloak of chaos (DC 25), control weather, detect law, detect magic, dimension door, dispel law (DC 22), fabricate, fireball (DC 19), fly, ice storm (DC 20), invisibility, greater invisibility, knock, magic circle against law, misdirection, mislead, shatter (heightened, DC 25), telekinesis (DC 21), word of chaos (DC 28); 3/day destruction (DC 23), earthquake, insect plague, limited wish, whirlwind (DC 24); 1/day meteor swarm (DC 25), teleport. Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
Distraction (Ex): Any living creature that begins its turn in the same space as Ofingreshiritfik must succeed at a DC 36 Fort save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Con based.
Independent Agents (Ex): Ofingreshiritfik may temporarily imbue one of his many bodies with a larger fragment of his personality, empowering it to leave the safety of the swarm and travel and act somewhat independently of the rest of his bodies. After a fashion, this agent may be considered an avatar or aspect of Ofrigreshiritfik – albeit one greatly reduced in might compared to avatars produced by divine beings. Empowering a body in this way costs Ofingreshiritfik 4 hit points. If Ofrigreshiritfik is damaged, he may temporarily recover his agents to restore 4 hit points each. Ofingreshiritfik may maintain a number of such agents equal to his Intelligence.
So long as an agent remains with 300’ of Ofingreshiritfik, Ofingreshiritfik is capable of perceiving everything that the agent perceives and exerting control over its actions.
For more details, see the entry on ‘Agent of Ofingreshiritfik’.
Mean Little Buggers (Su): The claws and teeth of Ofingreshiritfik’s many little bodies are supernaturally sharp and capable of tearing through almost anything. Versus any form of DR which can be overcome by some material or type of attack, reduce the effective DR by 30. Likewise, Ofingreshiritfik may ignore the first 30 hardness when dealing damage to an inanimate object.
Put it All Back (Ex): On rare occasions, Ofingreshiritfik decides to build something, generally because he’s become insufferably bored and building something is the best way to ensure continued satisfactory tormoil. While not a particularly skilled craftsman, he has had long experience with how things are put together and he has a very large number of fast moving bodies at his disposal. In such cases, Ofingreshiritfik is treated as having 4 ranks in any craft skill of his choosing, and may take twenty on all craft checks. Ofingreshiritfik may make up to 20 craft checks per round, and if he concentrates on a single task may complete it at 20 times the normal rate. This ability is not limited by his access to tools, and he needs only the most meager raw materials to work with.
Summon Slaad (Sp): Three times per day Ofingreshiritfik can attempt to summon 2-8 red slaad or a with 100% chance of success, or 1 grey slaad with an 80% chance of success. This ability is equivalent to an 7th level spell.
Survivors (Ex): If Ofingreshiritfik is reduced to 0 points or less, it immediately as its final actions imbues its essence into the remaining bodies, of which 5-50 will always remain in fit condition. These bodies immediately disperse and if they survive become (abandoned) independent agents, as per the entry on Agents of Ofingreshiritfik. Unless the surivors are hunted down and destroyed there is a chance equal to 33%+2% per surviving independent agent that Ofingreshiritfik will successfully reform in some hidden place in 1d4 days. When that happens, he rapidly regrows to his full size and power over a period of 1d4 minutes.
Swarm (Ex): At the end of Ofingreshiritfik’s turn, as a free action, any being within his space takes 8d6 damage. During his movement, Ofingreshiritfik may as a free action overrun and engulf any being of between diminutive and large size. Any being so engulfed must beat a DC 22 grapple check in order to avoid being swept along with Ofingreshiritfik’s motion. Since more bodies are actually grabbing on to larger creatures than smaller ones, creatures receive no penalty or bonus on this check due to size. Those not swept along by the overrun take half damage (4d6) for being overrun.
Anyone wishing to move within the Ofingreshiritfik swarm must beat a DC 22 grapple check in order to attempt to exit it (or enter it against Ofingreshiritfik’s will), and each square is considered difficult terrain.
Since the damage from the swarm attack actually comes from many dozens of small attacks, any DR that Ofingreshiritfik cannot overcome is tripled for the purposes of resisting swarm damage.
Swarm Traits (Ex): Because Ofingreshiritfik’s life essence is distributed over many bodies, many sorts of ordinary physical attacks do him little harm. Any physical attack which targets a single being does only 1/2 damage to him. (Calculate this damage after DR or energy resistance is applied.) Ofingreshiritfik, receives a +10 bonus on his saving throws to resist any spell which targets only a single being, and against spells of his sort he does not fail to save even if he rolls a ‘1’.
On the other hand, Ofingreshiritfik is particularly vunerable to attacks which have an area of effect. Against any spell or attack with an area of effect, Ofingreshiritfik has a -2 penalty on his saving throws, and any damage which overcomes his DR or energy resistance is increased by 50%.
Ofingreshiritfik’s multiple bodies give him a somewhat plastic form. Unlike other huge creatures, he may occupy any 9 continuous squares, and may alter his configuration once per round as a free action. As a move equivalent action, Ofingreshiritfik can spread his body over a larger area – up to any 25 continuous squares. When spread over this larger area, his swarm attack does only half damage, the grapple check necessary to avoid being engulfed or to move within the swarm is reduced to DC 16, and the saving throw to avoid distraction is reduced to DC 30. Collecting himself and returning to his less diffuse form requires a move equivalent action.
Throw Debris (Ex): In addition to tearing up the environment, Ofingreshiritfik’s many bodies are particularly adept at hurling the pieces around. Whenever he is in contact with solid ground, or at least at minimum in contact with a huge inanimate object with a hardness 8 or higher, Ofingreshiritfik may tear off pieces and hurl them at whatever pleases him to great effect. Treat this as a hurled ranged attack with a 10’ range increment that does 2d6+str bonus damage. As a full attack action, Ofingreshiritfik may make up to 9 separate attacks.
Trap Finding (Ex): Ofingreshiritfik possesses the ability to find traps with DC’s greater than 20, as the rogue ability of the same name.

Special Section: Agents of Ofingreshiritfik said:
Agent of Ofingreshiritfik
Tiny Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 1d8-2 (2 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed:
40 ft./burrow 20 ft./climb 20 ft.
AC: 26 (+2 size, +4 Dex, +10 natural)
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-9
Attack: Claw +1 melee (1d4-2) or throw debris +5 missile (1d2-2)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +1 melee (1d4-2) 1 bite -1 melee (1d4-2) or throw debris +5 missile (1d2-2)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Hive mind, improved evasion, leaper, lithe, mean little bugger, swarming, throw debris
Special Qualities: fast healing 1, damage reduction 5/lawful and epic, dark vision (60’), immunity to sonic, resistance to acid 10, cold 10, electricity 10, and fire 10, spell-like abilities, spell resistance 11
Saves: Fort -1, Ref +5, Will -1
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 18, Con 6, Int 6, Wis 7, Chr 12
Skills: Climb +10, Disable Device +8, Hide +12, Jump +10, Open Lock +8, Escape Artist +10, Tumble +10
Feats: Dodge, Multiattack
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary, band (1-4), or troop (2-12)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Agents of Ofingreshiritfik are the semi-independent avatars of the Slaad Lord Ofingreshiritfik. Although they appear to be fully independent beings possessing their own violition and independent being, this is not truly the case. Rather they are but small and flawed fragments of Ofigreshiritfik’s mind, created for a rather limited role – that of acting as the mobile eyes and ears, and occasionally hands, of the greater being.

In the normal course of affairs, Agents of Ofingreshiritfik do not stray far from their parent mind and are quickly subsumed back within the mind of the Slaad Lord when their purpose has come to an end. Upon occasion though, during his forays on the prime, Ofingreshiritfik must abandon one or more of his agents and then flee unexpectedly beyond their ability to reach. In such cases, Agents of Ofingreshiritfik may be found for a short time in the wake of the Slaad Lord’s passing, mixed among his other acts of destruction. They are rarely recognized for what they are, and are often referred to as ‘gremlins’ or mistaken for some form of destructive fey creature.

In exceedingly rare cases, it is recorded that Agents of Ofingreshiritfik have survived being abandoned by the parent mind and managed by some means to live on as something like a free willed being.

Combat
Agents are normally cautious and stealthy. They rarely engage in combat directly, unless they clearly are facing an inferior foe. More often they simply flee back in the direction of thier parent mind. If cornered they can be quite unexpectedly dangerous, especially when several can work together as a mini-swarm.
Hive Mind (Su): Agents of Ofingreshiritfik are actually independently acting agents of a larger mind. When near to others of their kind, they can create a mind fragment which allows them to work together with a great deal of efficiency. Each independent Agent of Ofringreshiritfik receives a +2 bonus on all skill checks and attack rolls for every other Agent of Ofringreshirit within 5’ up to a maximum bonus of +20. (Any agent within 5’ of Ofingreshiritfik is treated as part of the swarm.) Each Agent of Ofringreshiritfik can communicate telepathically with any other agent within 300’, and knows the direction to the nearest Agent or to Ofringreshiritfik himself so long as they remain on the same plane.
Any agent which is more than 300’ from Ofingreshiritfik or is otherwise out of contact with the parent mind is considered abandoned. Abandoned agents of Ofingreshiritfik feel intense emotional distress, and do their best to return to the swarm. If they are unable to return to the swarm, Agents of Ofingreshiritfik lose one point from each of their ability scores per day until they return to the swarm or die.
Leaper (Ex): The maximum jump of an Agent of Ofingreshiritfik is not limited by its height.
Lithe (Ex): Agents of Ofingreshirit are strong for their size. They may use their dexterity bonus in place of their strength bonus in jump and climb checks. They also get a +2 bonus to climb, jump, tumble, and escape artist checks.
Mean Little Bugger (Su): Agents of Ofingreshirit have supernaturally strong claws, capable of cutting through almost anything. Treat their natural weapons as chaotic and magical for the purposes of overcoming damage resistance. Reduce the effective damage resistance of all other types by 30.
Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At will: alter self, detect law, detect magic, protection from law; 1/day; blur, invisibility, knock, shatter (DC 13). Caster level 3rd. The DC for these abilities is charisma based.
Swarming (Ex): Effectively any number of Agents of Ofringreshirit can operate within any 5’ square.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Ninth, Paisdi, Lord of Uncertainty

Paisdi, Lord of Uncertainty
Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 34d8 + 408 (680 hp)
Initiative: +12
Speed: 80 ft.
AC: 45 (-1 size, +8 Dex, +7 deflection, +21 natural)
Base Attack/Grapple: +27/+42
Attack: tentacle slam +37 melee (1d8+11, chaos ichors)
Full Attack: 1d4 tentacle slam +37 melee (1d8+11, chaos ichors, paralyzing touch), 2 claws +35 melee (2d8+5, chaos ichors, paralyzing touch), 1 bite +35 melee (2d8+5, chaos ichors, paralyzing touch)
Space/Reach: 5’/20’ ft.
Special Attacks: Chaos ichors, chaos spittle, engulf, paralyzing touch, spell-like abilities, summon slaad
Special Qualities: Aura of uncertainty, damage reduction 30/epic and lawful, dark vision (120’), displacement, extended reach, fast healing 20, immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to acid, immune to sonic, ooze traits, quick change, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 34
Saves: Fort +31, Ref +27, Will +25
Abilities: Str 33, Dex 26, Con 35, Int 20, Wis 22, Chr 24
Skills: Bluff +43, Climb +41, Concentration +42, Escape Artist +94, Hide +41, Intimidate +37, Jump +41, Knowledge (Arcana) +20, Knowledge (Planes) +25, Listen +38, Move Silently +46, Search +37, Spellcraft +35, Spot +38, Survival +26, Tumble +40
Feats: Combat reflexes, dodge, elusive target, hold the line, improved combat reflexes, improved initiative, improved sunder, mobility, multiattack, occult opportunist, opportunistic tactician, power attack
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 26
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

In as much as Paisdi can be said to have a form, it is of a large glistening silver slaad which is continually growing and absorbing long liquid psuedopods. But this is really only the form Paisdi returns to most often in this era. In truth, Paisdi is an incarnation of formlessness itself, or more precisely the infinite possibilities of form which are inherent in formlessness. He never appears quite the same way twice, here as an enormous sparrow with four wings, there as a dolphin headed moose with dragon's feat, or the next moment as a boar walking upright on bears paws. Always though, whatever the shape, he glistens like quicksilver for he is made not of ordinary matter but the raw stuff of chaos itself.

The strangest thing about Paisdi is that his position is indefinite. He is not truly exactly anywhere, and at the same time he is also in several places at once. To an observer he seems to shimmer and flit about in a most unsettling way, as if traveling along impossible angles in the universe which only he can see.

Paisdi rarely leaves the plane of Limbo, for he finds other environments too strange and alien to his nature.

In the eldest tomes, one can find mention of of Saipid the Ever Vacillating, said to be ruler of Limbo. While there is much in these tomes which can’t be entirely trusted, there is little doubt that in elder days Paisdi was the greatest of the Slaad before being overthrown in this role by Ssendam. He therefore bears great enmity with the Mad King, and also against Chourst who seems to have played some large role in Paisdi’s reduction in status. Paisdi is an ever angry being, but fortunately his anger is rarely directed at individual mortals. Paisdi is ever scheming of some way to overthrow Chourst, and with the power thereby gained overthrowing Ssendam as the greatest of the Slaad.

Combat
Although diminished from whatever terror he may have once been, Paisdi remains a foe of awesome aspect and power in combat. His preferred tactics are something of hit and run, covering his foes in the dissolving slime of his chaotic ichors and then allowing them to do their work while he focuses his attentions elsewhere.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will – alter self, animate objects, blink (quickened), break enchantment, chaos hammer (DC 21), cloak of chaos (DC 25), control weather, detect magic, dimension door, dispel law (DC 22), ethereal jaunt, fly, greater dispelling, greater magic fang, hold monster (DC 22), invisibility, insanity (DC 22), lightning bolt (empowered, DC 20), magic circle against law, mirage arcane, mirror image, misdirection, mislead, persistent image, polymorph (quickened), project image, reverse gravity, teleport, word of chaos (DC 28); 3/day chain lightning (DC 23), limited wish, maze, polymorph any object (DC 25), power word (any). Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
Aura of Uncertainty (Su): Paisdi has supernatural control over spatial reality. This effect extends over a 300’ radius about him. Within this area, Paisdi may alter any square to make it difficult terrain, including those which are in open space. Any unattended object in this area requires a DC 23 slight of hand check to pick up, and any ally in this area gains the benefit of a blur spell.
Chaos Ichors (Su): Paisdi is dripping with the raw material of chaos. Any being struck by one of Paisdi’s attacks must make a DC 37 reflex save or be covered in chaotic fluids and take 5d4 damage immediately, plus 5d4 damage for three additional rounds. Half of the damage from this attack is acidic, and the other half is anarchic so energy resistance and immunity may not fully protect. The DC of this attack is constitution based.
Damage from multiple attacks is cumulative (and with Chaos spittle below), to a maximum of 20d4 damage per round.
Chaos Spittle (Su): As a standard action, Paisdi may spit a glob of primal chaos material as ranged touch attack on any target within 100’. This chaos material acts very much like acid. Those struck take 10d4 damage immediately, plus 10d4 damage for three additional rounds. Half of the damage from this attack is acidic, and the other half is anarchic so energy resistance and immunity may not fully protect.
Damage from multiple attacks is cumulative (and with chaos ichors above), to a maximum of 20d4 damage per round.
Displacement (Ex): Paisdi’s exact location in the universe is uncertain. Paisdi is permanently displaced as the spell displacement, except that true seeing reveals the fact that Paisdi’s location is indeed actually uncertain and not merely apparently so.
Engulf (Ex): Any creature of huge size or smaller which Paisdi is grappled with or grappled by is automatically engulfed within Paisdi’s fluid body. Beings so engulfed are automatically covered in raw chaotic material and take 20d4 damage per round, and for three rounds after leaving the grapple. Half of the damage from this attack is acidic, and the other half is anarchic so energy resistance and immunity may not fully protect.
Extended Reach (Ex): Paisdi’s effective reach is always twice normal for a being of his size class.
Ooze Traits (Ex): Paisdi’s body is mutable and gelatinous. As a consequence, in many ways Paisdi is treated as an ooze. Paisdi is immune to poison, sleep effects, paralysis, polymorph, and stunning. Paisdi cannot be flanked, and is not subject to critical hits. Regardless of apparent form, Paisdi has a +50 racial bonus on escape artist skill checks.
Paralyzing Touch (Su): By touch, Paisdi may implant in a living target such a degree of uncertainty that they are unable to take any action, effectively paralyzing them for 1d4 rounds unless they make a Will save versus DC 34. This is a mind-effecting ability. The DC of this ability is charisma based.
Quick Change (Ex): As a free action, each round Paisdi may and must change his outward form in some fashion as the spell polymorph. At a minimum, Paisdi grows and absorbs psuedopods and tentacles, but more commonly also glistens with many colors, grows or absorbs additional limbs, antenna, gills, wings, antlers, feathers, horns, or temporarily erupts with any number of other body parts. It is impossible therefore for Paisdi to disguise the fact that he is anything other than a shapechanger, and Paisdi automatically fails any disguise skill check.
Summon Aid (Sp): Three times per day Paisdi may attempt to summon a 1d6 grey slaad with a 100% chance of success, or 1d2 death slaad with an 80% chance of success. Threat this ability as a 9th level spell. Once per day, Paisdi may summon 2d8 chaos beasts as a spell like ability. Treat this ability as an 8th level spell.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Tenth, Paxcreeg, Lord of Dreams

Paxcreeg, Lord of Dreams
Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar, Incorporeal)
Hit Dice: 30d8 + 300 (540 hp)
Initiative: +13
Speed: Fly 150’ (perfect)
AC: 34 (-1 size, +9 Dex, +9 deflection, +7 insight) touch 34, flatfooted 25
Base Attack/Grapple: +25/+38
Attack: Claw +31 melee touch (2d6+7)
Full Attack: 2 Claw +31 melee touch (2d6+7), 1 bite +26 melee touch (2d6+3)
Space/Reach: 5’/10’ ft.
Special Attacks: Master of sleep, materialize, spell-like abilities, summon aid
Special Qualities: Being of though, change shape, fast healing 20, damage reduction 20/epic and lawful, dark vision (infinite), dream sight, dream walk, immune to ability drain, diseases, energy drain, mind effecting spells, poison, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic, incorporeal, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 36
Saves: Fort +27, Ref +26, Will +24
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 29, Con 31, Int 26, Wis 25, Chr 29
Skills: Appraise +42, Bluff +43, Concentration +44, Diplomacy +40, Hide +40, Intimidate +40, Knowledge (Arcana) +42, Knowledge (History) +42, Knowledge (Planes) +42, Listen +41, Perform +35, Search +41, Sense Motive +41, Sleight of Hand +43, Spellcraft +42, Spot +41
Feats: Aerial superiority, dodge, elusive target, expeditious dodge, extraordinary concentration, improved initiative, improved spell resistance, mobility, mobile spellcasting, power attack, spell focus (illusion)
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 25
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Of all the Slaad Lords, Paxcreeg is probably the most maligned and the least understood. Many strange rumors surround him. Some say that he is himself only a sentient illusion, others that he is the dream of some unnamed deity, or that he was spawned by a nightmare of Ssendam. Considered by many others to be a demon, in fact Paxcreeg may be the least offensive of the Slaad Lords. The fear he provokes is far outsized of the damage he actually causes.

Paxcreeg is a being of pure thought. When manifest, he appears as a translucent amber colored Slaad filled with mirages and strange vistas of far off places, and whose skins glistening like the light of a distant sun on some fabled golden dome. Orange, green, and blue lights flitter and revolve about his being. Many tales are told of Paxcreeg using many different names in many different tongues. He is said to be the fearsome ‘boogeyman’ that carries off children and make prudent women wanton and steals men’s minds and drives kings mad. While these stories are probably based on real events, they are also likely to be exaggeration and misunderstanding. Paxcreeg has little interest in destroying minds or ruling over them – no matter how well equipped he is in either regard. Rather Paxcreeg’s destructive energies are devoted to something so fundamental to our understanding that we would be shocked if the universe worked in any other way.

Paxcreeg devotes the majority of his time and energy to ensuring that dreams are random and disorderly. His impulse drives him to ensure that while men sleep, their minds cannot be depended on to act in an orderly fashion no matter how they order their waking lives. PAxcreeg knows that orderly and proper dreams and ambitions would be a powerful tool to the forces of law. So in eternal vigilance, he fills mortal minds with fanciful nonsense.

Stories about Paxcreeg focus on the unfairness and destructiveness of this activity. That men’s minds should not be entirely their own while they sleep is a great source of terror to them. Waking dreams of ambition are equally fearful. The dreams of a king that thinks he is a donkey or a god or the dreams of a tyrant that imagines himself a conqueror are dreams that are a source of even greater terror and suffering. The bravest warrior may be unmanned by the terrors that come in his sleep. But this is only one side of the coin. It may be a great source of terror to the mighty that they do not get the dreams that they deserve, but to those on the other side of life’s unjust coin, that they get dreams that they do not deserve is a great mercy. The miller’s son has dreams of being a knight, and so performs deeds of daring whether they be only on the field of vanity or mighty works that become the stuff of legend and song. The pauper leaves the field and dreams a dream of comfort that he finds not in the day. The aged dream dreams of youth. The loveless old maid dreams a dream of romance never found, and the abused child dreams dreams of safety and lives in castles unseen. Paxcreeg’s works may be all madness and vanity or they may be not, but they are not simple diablerie.

In fact, Paxcreeg bears a deep enmity to anything that uses their powers over the dream world for anything other than what he considers to be his own noble purpose. Night Hags bear his especial ire and greatly fear Paxcreeg, for he destroys or drives them off whenever he finds them. There is a small chance that anyone suffering from a Night Hag or similar creature can attract Paxcreeg’s attention by burning an incense of camphor and sandalwood, and calling out aloud one of his many names.

Paxcreeg never addresses another being by name, but instead always addresses them as ‘dream’. He believes that the entire universe is his dream, and all other creatures in it merely fancies that have entered bidden or unbidden into his mind.

Combat
Paxcreeg is not interested in physical combat. If confronted, he typically flees into the astral plane or some other direction his opponent cannot follow. If forced to fight, he is one of the mightiest illusionists in the multiverse, and relies on his powerful abilities to confuse, separate and even destroy his attackers.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will – astral projection, alter self, chaos hammer (DC 23), cloak of chaos (DC 27), etherealness, deeper darkness, detect law, detect magic, detect thoughts, dispel law (DC 24), dispel magic, dream, emotion (DC 23), fabricate, greater magic fang, greater shadow evocation (DC 29), improved invisibility, magic circle against law, major creation, mass suggestion (DC 25), mirror image, misdirection, mislead, nightmare (DC 26), persistent image, phantasmal killer (DC 25), mirage arcane, modify memory (DC 23), screen, deep slumber (DC 22), shades (DC 30), true seeing, veil, word of chaos (DC 30); 3/day eyebite (DC 27), limited wish, weird (DC 30), power word (any), temporal stasis (DC 28); Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
Being of Thought (Su): Paxcreeg does not have nor need a body, and even the seeming of a body he may have is only an illusion. Therefore, whenever he transports himself mentally somewhere, he transports the entirety of himself. For example, when Paxcreeg travels via astral projection, he does not leave a body behind because he has no body to leave behind. Paxcreeg’s body cannot be taken over by a magic jar attack, because he has no body to occupy.
Dream Sight (Su): Paxcreeg is capable of viewing the dream of any sleeping creature that he can observe. While observing the sleeper, Paxcreeg may learn the answer to any one question that the sleeper knows. This power is hindered only by the application of a mind blank spell. Only one such question may be answered per night, regardless of the length of observation.
Dream Walk (Su): By touch, Paxcreeg can transport himself into the dreams of any intelligent unprotected sleeper. A sleeper is considered protected only if they are protected by a mind blank spell or any protection spell (protection from evil, etc.) Once occupying the dreams of a being, Paxcreeg may continue to reside in that beings mind until expelled, either by a successful exorcism, dispel law, or the pronouncement of a dictum. In each case, the spell must overcome Paxcreeg’s spell resistance. Once so expelled, Paxcreeg cannot attempt to reenter the same mind for a period of 111 days.
While occupying the mind a being, Paxcreeg may use any mind-effecting spell against the mind he is occupying, or may cause the mind (but only that mind) to experience and perceive any illusion that Paxcreeg is capable of creating as if it were a figment. Ceatures immune to mind-effecting powers remain immune to these trespasses, though they can detect and observe them. Beings so occupied must succeed in a DC 22 wisdom check to notice the presence of the alien mind. Only one such check is allowed per day. If the check fails, the occupied mind assumes that any strange thoughts it may have are a product of a deteriorating mental state or some external source. A true seeing spell may reveal the presence of Paxcreeg riding within the mind, but only if a mind blank spell has not since been placed around the mind shielding it from observation.
From within the mind of a being, Paxcreeg has only a limited ability to effect the world outside. Only the following spell-like abilities may be employed on targets outside of that mind: detect law, detect magic, detect thoughts, dream, misdirection, nightmare, eyebite, and limited wish.
If Paxcreeg leaves the mind, either voluntarily or expelled, he has the option of exiting through the dreams of any unprotected sleeper within seven miles, entering the Astral Plane, entering the Ethereal Plane, or simply directly entering the mind’s physical vicinity. He may otherwise traverse through the dreamscape at a rate of seven miles per minute of travel.
Incorporeal (Su): Can be harmed only by other incorporeal creatures, +1 or better magic weapons, or magic, with a 50% chance to ignore any damage from a corporeal source. Can pass through solid objects at will, and own attacks pass through armor. Always moves silently.
Master Of Sleep (Sp): Paxcreeg may by word or touch put to sleep any number of living creatures which have a combined total of 200 hit points or less anywhere within 90’ of him. No saving throw is allowed. Only living creatures with an intelligence score and who need to sleep can be effected. This is a mind-effecting ability. This is normal sleep, and the targets may be awakened normally as per the sleep spell. If not otherwise wakened, creatures effected by this ability will sleep for a normal interval, and will awaken feeling refreshed and having healed double the usual hit points. Paxcreeg may use this spell-like effect once per round at will.
Materialize (Su): Paxcreeg can choose to forgo the protection afforded by his incorporal form in order to more powerfully effect the physical world – such as when he needs to break or move something. As a move-equivalent action, Paxcreeg may shift to a solid form. In this form he loses the incorporeal subtype, but gains +10 STR and a +16 natural armor bonus to AC. Paxcreeg can return to an incorporeal form as a move-equivalent action.
Summon Aid (Sp): Three times per day, Paxcreegs can attempt to summon 1d6 green slaad with an 80% chance of success. Treat this ability as a 7th level spell. Once per day, Paxcreegs can summon 2d4 Great Fihyr or 1d4 Nightmare Beasts for 25 rounds of service. Treat this ability as a ninth level spell.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Eleventh, Quipttiquib, Lord of Serendipity

Quipttiquib, Lord of Serendipity
Unique Huge Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 34d8 + 442 (714 hp)
Initiative: +9
Speed: 80’
AC: 48 (-2 size, +5 Dex, +6 deflection, +5 luck, +24 natural armor) touch 24, flatfooted 43
Base Attack/Grapple: +27/+53
Attack: Claw +45 melee (2d8+6)
Full Attack: bite +47 melee (4d6+13), 2 claw +45 melee (2d8+6)
Space/Reach: 10’/10’ ft.
Special Attacks: Aura of serendipity, breath weapon, control fate, flickering tongue, spell-like abilities, summon slaad, swallow whole
Special Qualities: Change shape, damage reduction 30/epic and lawful, dark vision (120’), fast healing 15, favorable fate, immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 33
Saves: Fort +37, Ref +29, Will +31
Abilities: Str 37, Dex 20, Con 37, Int 20, Wis 24, Chr 23
Skills: Bluff +34, Concentration +49, Diplomacy +42, Hide +29, Intimidate +38, Jump +30, Knowledge (Arcana) +37, Knowledge (History) +33, Knowledge (Nobility & Heraldry) +21, Listen +44, Move Silently +41, Search +39, Sense Motive +43, Spellcraft +41, Spot +39, Survival +23
Feats: Blind-fight, canny opportunist, combat reflexes, dodge, epic prowess, expert tactician, exploit adjustment, improved combat reflexes, improved initiative, large and in charge, mobility, multi-attack, power attack, powerful charge
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 26
Treasure: Triple normal
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Quipttiquib normally appears as giant slaad with an orange hide, an enormously outsized head, and a pair of bandy legs. He considers it his role in the universe to see to it that the way things ought to happen is not in fact the way that they occur. He is the author of many a strange misfortune. If the ruler is destined to conquer the world, then he dies of food poisoning on the eve of his inevitable triumph. If the battle is certain, then it rains, the captain’s horse throws a shoe, the champions visor falls down and will not be lifted, or the master swordsmen steps unexpectedly on an uncommonly round pebble and what was sure to happen instead does not.

Although it cannot be called a true alliance, Quipttiquib has uncommonly good relations with Haskismet and the two are perhaps the only Slaad Lords that regularly and willing spend any time in another’s company. Each seems to believe that they own the other. Since Quipttiquib refers to Haskismet as ‘my cat’, some mortals may be able to relate to the nature of the relationship. Like many of the Slaad Lords, Quipttiquib has as very poor opinion of Ssendam, and the feeling is unequivocally mutual as probably no other Slaad Lord – not even Loarsraol – so enrages the Mad King.

Quipttiquib seems to possess a certain sympathy for beings that feel they have been trapped by an inalterable destiny, or at least a certain distaste for the continuing existence of such things, and there is a small chance that any such being which cries out aloud to him for aid will be heard and will receive aid if it is with Quipttiquib’s power. Those that accept this aid however must agree to accept whatever new “destiny” Quipttiquib chooses for them.

Combat
Quipttiquib is among the most formidable and terrible of the Slaad Lords in combat, and he does not shy away from a good fight. He will flee only if the most dire necessity demands it, for he enjoys savoring new flavors.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will – alter self, animate objects, blink, bestow curse (heightened, DC 25), bestow moment of prescience (as moment of prescience, but range touch and target creature touched), break enchantment, chaos hammer (DC 20), cloak of chaos (DC 24), control weather, detect magic, dispel law (DC 23), entropic shield, find the path, fly, fog cloud, geas, greater dispelling, greater magic fang, invisibility, magic circle against law, mass suggestion (DC 22), misdirection, nondetection, see invisibility, telekinesis (DC 21), word of chaos (DC 27); 3/day foresight, limited wish, polymorph any object (DC 24), sympathy (DC 24). Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
Aura of Serendipity (Su): Quipttiquib has near complete control over the power of luck in his immediate vicinity. At his whim any luck bonus effecting any creature or object within 300’ of Quipttiquib is subject to reversal, so that modifiers become penalties and penalties become modifiers. For example, an item within 300’ which provides a +3 luck bonus to its bearer may if Quipttiquib so desires provide a -3 luck penalty instead. This power is continuous and requires no action or concentration on Quipttiquib’s part. Fate warps in Quipttiquib’s favor even if he is unconscious or inattentive. Only creatures with the salient divine ability Power of Luck are immune to this effect.
Breath Weapon (Su): Quipttiquib may spew forth anything he has previously swallowed – a very broad range to be sure - in a blast of whimsy. Treat this effect as that of a greater rod of wonder, except that the area of effect of any effect so generated is always a 160’ cone, and any saving throw allowed by the effect is versus DC 33. Once Quipttiquib uses his breath weapon, he may not employ it again for 1d4 rounds.
Change Shape (Su): Quipttiquib can assume any humanoid form as a standard action. In humanoid form, Quipttiquib cannot use his natural weapons. Quipttiquib may remain in this form until he chooses to assume a new one. The change in form may not be dispelled, but the Slaad Lord will revert to his natural form if killed. Even true seeing does not reveal Quipttiquib’s natural form, only that Quipttiquib is a disguised shapechanger.
Control Fate (Su): By touch, Quipttiquib may bestow a good or bad fortune on any creature, so that it suffers either a -5 luck penalty to all attacks, saves, and checks or a +5 luck bonus on all attacks, saves, and checks for a 24 hour period. A DC 33 Will save is required to avoid this effect. Beings with the salient divine ability Power of Luck are immune. Once the luck is bestowed, only a wish, miracle, or similarly effective magic can counteract the effects.
Favorable Fate (Su): Quipttiquib receives a +5 luck bonus to AC, attacks, and saving throws.
Flickering Tongue (Ex): As a standard action, Quipttiquib may flick out his long sticky tongue and attempt to grapple any beings within 30’. This is a +45 melee touch attack. The tongue does no damage, but any being of Large size or smaller so struck must win an opposed grapple check (Quippttiquib’s grapple bonus -8) or be drawn into Quippttiquib’s mouth to take automatic maximum bite damage.
Summon Slaad (Sp): Three times per day, Quipttiquib may attempt to summon 1d6 grey slaad with 100% chance of success, or the Slaad Lord Haskismet with 20% chance of success. This ability is equivalent to a 10th level spell.
Swallow Whole (Ex/Su): Quipttiquib is capable of swallowing almost anything that will fit into his enormous maw, including many things one would not think of as swallowable. As a standard action, Quipttiquib may swallow any creature of large size or smaller he has grappled in his mouth by winning an opposed grapple check. Quipttiquib may swallow creatures he has previously grappled as a free action if he takes -20 on the grapple check. Swallowed creatures suffer one of two fates. If Quipttiquib desires, he may attempt to store them away in some alien extradimensional space known only to him. Treat this as the spell imprisonment (Will save DC 33). Those that pass their saving throw or which Quipttiquib does not consider deserving of this fate pass into his gullet, where they take 4d6 crushing damage + 10d4 acid damage + 10d4 anarchic damage each round until utterly consumed. Even those that escape from this fate by some means continue to suffer 10d4 acid damage and 10d4 anarchic damage for consecutive 3 rounds afterward.
As a full round action, Quipttiquib may by spewing them up free any 1d4 beings he has previously imprisoned.
Finally, whenever a spell fails to penetrate Quipttiquib’s spell resistance, he may swallow it. If he does this, he may choose to cast the spell on the following round as a standard action. If he does not choose to cast it the following round, it becomes mixed with the enumerable things he as swallowed over the centuries and is no longer readily accessible. See Quipttiquib’s breath weapon for the results of a more general spewing.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Twelfth, Quag, Lord of Ignorance

Quag, Lord of Ignorance
Unique Huge Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 38d8 + 628 (932 hp)
Initiative: +8
Speed: 80’
AC: 41 (-2 size, +4 Dex, +2 deflection, +27 natural armor) touch 14, flatfooted 37
Base Attack/Grapple: +29/+53
Attack: Slam +43 melee (2d10+16) or Rock + 31 missile (2d6+24)
Full Attack: 2 slam +43 melee (2d10+16), bite +41 2d10+8 or Rock +31 missile (2d6+24)
Space/Reach: 10’/10’ ft.
Special Attacks: spell-like abilities, summon aid, throw boulder, touch of ignorance
Special Qualities: Book worm, change shape, fast healing 30, damage reduction 40/epic and lawful, dark vision (60’),immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 31
Saves: Fort +41, Ref +25, Will +28
Abilities: Str 42, Dex 19, Con 43, Int 3, Wis 16, Chr 14
Skills: Climb +47, Concentration +27, Jump +47, Intimidate +25, Listen +25, Spot +25, Survival +15
Feats: Awesome blow, cleave, combat reflexes, dodge, epic fortitude, epic toughness, epic will, improved initiative, improved sunder, mobility, multi-attack, power attack, powerful charge
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 24
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Many of my readers no doubt think that I’m writing some sort of apology for the slaad, and are appalled at my attempt to treat with fairness a race of beings which are preeminent in unfairness. But I am only writing what my trade and training as a sage demands of me – an impartial and truthful account of the slaad. But there are limits to the impartiality that training can inculcate into someone, and here I reach mine. As a sage, I can say with perfect truth that I find no redeeming value to the being here described under the heading Quag, Lord of Ignorance. He is a bestial, stupid, destructive, intemperate, arrogant, self-absorbed, and callous lout absolutely lacking in any finer virtues.

It’s not just that Quag is a filthy brute that tramples over and destroys things he cannot fathom. It’s that he’s at the point, proud of it and smugly confident that there is no finer thing than in the multiverse than Quag. He doesn’t resent anyone for their superior knowledge. He’s not even aware that such a thing exists. He resents that people don’t recognize and acclaim him to be the finest and most knowledgable being in the multiverse. And, no matter how he provokes or even injures someone or even pounds them flat while laughing at them, he’s always hurt - really deeply sincerely hurt – that they fought back and hurt him. He’s a howling, babbling, blubbering, shrieking bit of infamy, and I for one think I could sooner put up with Dixtolredi.

In appearance, Quag is one of the most consistent of the slaad, seldom bothering to change his natural form. He almost always appears to be a great naked filthy, hairy, fat giant. He is always covered in his own matted filth and feces. Atop his massive frame is a tiny red toad’s head, which would seem disproportionately small even on a normal sized slaad and which manages to have an even blanker expression to it than even what one would expect of a toad. In a middle of the beast’s pasty belly is a giant drooling fanged mouth which splits Quag seemingly almost in two. Into this he is always stuffing whatever things are in his vicinity. The reason that he seldom changes his form is that he is quite sure that he is the most handsome being in the multiverse.

Quag is oblivious to most anything around him. When he is destructive it is generally purely out of ignorance, not that this is any solace to anyone. A few fools who believe that they are cursed with a surfeit of knowledge seek Quag out as the answer to their troubles, but in this they are sorely disappointed for Quag doesn’t bring forgetfulness, only ignorance, which is not the same thing they find out to their loss.

Combat
Quag typically gets in combat by accident. When his victim fights back, he howls with rage and surprise and then proceeds to pound them flat with simple direct attacks.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will – chaos hammer (DC 16), cloak of chaos (DC 20), deeper darkness, detect law, dispel law (DC 17), dispel magic, erase, expeditious retreat, fireball (DC 15), greater magic fang, invisibility, feeblemind (DC 17), magic circle against law, misdirection, modify memory (DC 16), nondetection, stinking cloud (DC 14), word of chaos (DC 23); 3/day disjunction, limited wish, maze, veil; Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based
Book Worm (Su): Quag presence is highly disruptive to any form of written knowledge. Any writing within 60’ is subject to erase at Quag’s caster level, just as if he had touched it. Anything engraved with writing of any sort is subject to shatter (DC 14) at Quag’s caster level. Wizards that think that they have driven away Quag at no great loss are often dumbfounded when they next open their spell books.
Change Shape (Su): Quag can assume any humanoid or giant form as a standard action. In humanoid form, Quag cannot use his natural weapons. Quag may remain in this form until he chooses to assume a new one. The change in form may not be dispelled, but the Slaad Lord will revert to his natural form if killed. Even a true seeing spell does not reveal Quag’s natural form, only that Quag is a disguised shapechanger.
Throw Boulder (Ex): Although Quag is too stupid to think of carrying any rocks with him, if he is close enough to anything heavy that he can rip apart, he’s an accomplished rubble thrower capable of throwing rocks of up to 80 lbs with a 140’ range increment as a standard action.
Touch of Ignorance (Su): Quag’s most dread power is his ability to strip a being of its knowledge and experience by touch. In many ways this power resembles energy drain, but it differs in several important ways. Quag is not actually stripping the life force of a creature and so ordinary protection or even immunity to energy drain is of no protection whatsoever against this dread power. Any intelligent being touched by Quag in anger takes 1d4 negative energy levels, even if they are normally immune to such an attack (such as intelligent undead). On a successful will save (DC 31), the number of negative levels is halved (round fractions down). These negative knowledge levels are in most fashions treated as negative energy levels, except that no being may even be slain by having accumulated any number these negative levels alone and no being is ever reduced below 0 xp as a result of this attack. Quag gains no temporary hit points through this attack. As with other negative levels, they remain until 24 hours have passed or until removed by an effect, such as restoration. If not removed after 24 hours, the effected creature must succeed in a separate fort save (DC 31) for each negative level or lose one hit die.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Thirteenth, Tretfivor, Lord of Disharmony

Tretfivor, Lord of Disharmony
Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 32d8 + 320 (576 hp)
Initiative: +10
Speed: 80’
AC: 50 (-1 size, +6 Dex, +5 deflection, +22 natural armor, +8 armor) touch 20, flatfooted 44
Base Attack/Grapple: +26/+43
Attack: +3 Anarchic Large Mace of Wounding +41 melee (2d6+15,x3)
Full Attack: +3 Anarchic Large Morningstar of Wounding +37/+32/+27/+22 melee (2d6+15,x3), +3 Anarchic Shocking Keen Large Scimitar +37/+32/+27/+22 melee (2d6+10 + 1d6 electricity, 15-20/x2), bite +37 melee (2d8+6 + poison) or 3 claws +41 melee (2d8+12), bite +39 melee (2d8+6 + poison)
Space/Reach: 5’/10’ ft
Special Attacks: Poison, snake-tongued, spell-like abilities, summon aid
Special Qualities: Aura of antagonism, fast healing 15, damage reduction 30/epic and lawful, dark vision (120’), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 31
Saves: Fort +28, Ref +24, Will +23
Abilities: Str 35, Dex 23, Con 30, Int 23, Wis 21, Chr 21
Skills: Bluff +40, Climb +42, Concentration +40, Disguise +40, Escape Artist +36, Jump +40, Hide +37, Innuendo +40, Intimidate +30, Listen +35, Move Silently +36, Search +35, Sense Motive +30, Spot +36, Survival +36, Tumble +36
Feats: Cleave, combat reflexes, epic prowess, dodge, improved initiative, improved multi-weapon fighting, greater multi-weapon fighting, mobility, multi-weapon fighting, perfect multi-weapon fighting, power attack
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 24
Treasure: Double Normal
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Tretfivor is best explained as the embodiment of the phrase, “Let’s you and him fight.” For all of his bluster, bragging, and martial trappings, Tretfivor is a consummate coward who is far more interested in creating conflict that participating in it. Tretfivor delights in arguments and rivalries, and excels at provoking, heightening and prolonging them and then leaving the participants to deal with the results. He is a masterful and cunning liar, but he is best known for his creative curses which seem almost innocuous at first but slowly unfold to reveal their truly damning nature.

In appearance Tretfivor appears to be a most unhappy wedding of a red slaad with a blue slaad. He is a grotesque creature in which no body part seems quite suited to him. One side of his body is that of a red slaad, and the other a blue. However, his feet are on backwards, there is a great hump on one side of his back, his spine is crooked, and one eye is at least ten times larger than the other. From one side of his mouth protrudes upward a 12” tusk, while one of his arms is so long and out-sized that its knuckles drag the ground when he walks. His skin is folded and loose like a pachyderms as if it did not quite fit his frame. Alone of the Slaad Lords Tretfivor favors clothing, and often wears tattered robes that were once of a rich material before being ill-used.

Tretfivor is among the most monstrous of the slaad, but if he has one somewhat redeeming quality it is that he seems relatively little interested in breaking the peace. Peaceful, tranquil, and calm beings and situations seem not to interest or attract him, and rather than taking the effort to arouse conflict where none exists, he seems to prefer to heighten conflicts were it already exists and to pit the violent and bloodthirsty against the naturally violent and ill-tempered. Certainly he has derailed many opportunities for peace and brought about much suffering, but by acting in this fashion he serves wittingly or unwittingly to cull away many that would otherwise represent a great danger by pitting them against each other. In fact, many of his favorite targets for this trickery seem to be the very fiends that he sometimes associates with.

Combat
Tretfivor is not found in combat if he can help it, as he far prefers to rely on his powers of disguise and spell abilities to cajole, trick, and wheedle others into fighting for his amusement. But if pressed or if he clearly outmatches his foe, he will fight fiercely. He typically wears an ogre sized suit of chain mail +3, and wields a pair of mighty weapons in either hand – a +3 Anarchic Large Morningstar of Wounding in the larger sinister hand, and a +3 Anarchic Shocking Keen Large Scimitar in the dexterous hand.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will – bestow curse (heightened, DC 24), chaos hammer (DC 19), cloak of chaos (DC 23), detect law, dispel law (DC 20), dispel magic, emotion (DC 19), fireball (DC 18), fly, forceful hand, greater magic fang, invisibility, lightning bolt (DC 18), magic circle against law, mass suggestion (DC 21), misdirection, nondetection, persistant image, spell turning, word of chaos (DC 26), wall of fire; 3/day antipathy (DC 24), demand (DC 24), fire shield, limited wish, power word (any). Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based
Aura of Antagonism (Su): All diplomacy checks within 300’ of Tretfivor have a -11 penalty.
Poison (Ex): Tretfivor’s bite inflict a horrid poison on the victim, which causes the victims skin to bubble and flow as if it were hot wax. (Injury, Fortitude DC 36, initial and secondary damage 1d6 Chr + 1 permanent Chr loss.) The save DC is Constitution-based
Snake Tongued (Su): Tretfivor is venom tongued in more ways than the physical. Tretfivor is a most cunning liar, and gains a +5 insight bonus on all bluff checks involving the spoken word. Any curse he bestows via bestow curse is heightened as a 9th level spell, and when Tretfivor’s effective caster level is increased by 5 for the purpose of caster level checks involving bestow curse.
Summon Aid (Sp): Three times per day Tretfivor may attempt to summon 3d6 red slaad with a 90% chance of success or 2d8 blue slaad with an 80% chance of success, or 1-3 death slaad with a 70% chance of success. Treat this as ability as a 9th level spell. Tretfivor enjoys good relations with the Tanari. Once per day he may attempt to summon 2d6 Tanari (50% will be Dretch, 30% Babau, and 20% Hezrou) with an 80% chance of success. Summoned Tanari will not further a good cause, but will otherwise serve at any task for 25 rounds. Treat this ability as a 9th level spell.
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Fourteenth, Werajt, Lord of Confusion

Werajt, Lord of Confusion
Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)

Hit Dice: 35d8 + 490 (770 hp)
Initiative: +10
Speed: 80’
AC: 43 (-1 size, +6 Dex, +6 deflection, +22 natural armor) touch 21, flatfooted 37
Base Attack/Grapple: +27/+44
Attack: Claw +39 melee (2d8+13)
Full Attack: 3 claws +39 melee (2d8+13), 2 kicks +37 melee (2d6+6), 1 slam +37 melee (1d12+6), bite +37 melee (2d8+6)
Space/Reach: 5’/10’ ft
Special Attacks: Aura of confusion, spell-like abilities, summon aid, touch of madness
Special Qualities: Bewildered, bewildering form, fast healing 20, damage reduction 30/epic and lawful, dark vision (infinite), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic, resistance acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 33
Saves: Fort +37, Ref +25, Will +23
Abilities: Str 36, Dex 22, Con 38, Int 22, Wis 18, Chr 23
Skills: Bluff +44, Climb +51, Concentration +52, Disguise +44, Escape Artist +44, Jump +51, Hide +44, Intimidate +44, Innuendo +44, Listen +41, Move Silently +44, Search +44, Spot +41, Tumble +49
Feats: Combat reflexes, combat expertise, defensive opportunist, dodge, epic fortitude, frightful presence, improved initiative, improved overrun, karmic strike, mobility, multiattack, power attack
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 25
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Werajt is in many ways a piteous creature, utterly befuddled and bewildered by the universe and even often its own body. Of course, its one understandable goal seems to be to share and spread this confusion to others, so this may check the sympathy which we may have for the creature.

In appearance, Werajt is almost indescribable. Perhaps it would suffice to say that he seems a ball of disparate limbs with arms and legs sticking out in every direction higgly-piggly. But to this picture of confusion we must add a riot of color and that the entire surface of this ball of waving extremities is covered with eyes of various sizes, ears, mouths, and other sorts of things which one would not expect to find on a creatures extremities.

Werajt’s behavior is equally inexplicable. He staggers (and sometimes rolls) about as if not entirely certain what to do with his own haphazardly constructed body. He never says anything which is intelligible or appropriate, but instead makes utterly nonsensical replies to any query that are punctuated by hoots, beeps, and honks from his various mouths. He spends his days fighting with and destroying harmless inanimate objects, running in terror from tiny things like small beetles, trying to start up conversations with flowers and streams, and otherwise apparently trying and failing to make sense of the world around him. Rumor has it that Werajt possesses an uncanny knowledge of the future, but his utility as an oracle is called into question by the fact that his oracles, if that is what they are, are so cryptic and embedded in nonsense that no one is ever certain that they’ve been given one or what it might mean.

Combat
Werajt is more likely to initiate combat with a tree than with any actual foe, but despite the bedlam and the fact he’ll probably never understand why he was attacked, he is capable of protecting himself. Werajt likes to fight on the defensive, and to fill a battle field with fog, illusions and other obstacles until his confusion effect renders his foes a greater threat to each other than to Werajt. At this point, he’s likely to simply move on.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will – Alter self, chaos hammer (DC 20), cloak of chaos (DC 24), control weather, deeper darkness (widened), detect law, detect magic, dispel law (DC 21), divination, false vision, fly, greater magic fang, insanity (DC 21), invisibility, magic circle against law, mirror image, misdirection, mislead, modify memory (DC 20), obscuring mist (widened), persistent image, see invisibility, veil, word of chaos (DC 27); 3/day acid fog (widened), limited wish, maze, mind fog (DC 21), power word (any); Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based
Aura of Confusion (Su): Any intelligent being within 120’ of Werajt must make a will save (DC 33) or suffer from confusion (as the spell). All knowledge checks made within this area suffer from a -13 insight penalty. Finally, all arcane spells cast within this area or at a target within this area except by Werajt have an additional 10% chance of spell failure.
Bewildered (Ex): Werajt automatically fails sense motive checks.
Bewildering Form (Ex): Werajt cannot be flanked, and is 50% likely to avoid additional damage from a critical hit. Because he’s neither quite upside down or right side up (or anything else), Werajt cannot be knocked or fall prone and Werajt gets a +5 racial bonus on all tumble checks.
Change Shape (Su): Werajt can assume any humanoid form as a standard action. In humanoid form, Werajt cannot use his natural weapons. Werajt may remain in this form until he chooses to assume a new one. The change in form may not be dispelled, but the Slaad Lord will revert to his natural form if killed. Even a true seeing spell does not reveal Werajt’s natural form, only that Werajt is a disguised shapechanger.
Summon Aid (Sp): Three times per day Werajt may attempt to summon 3d6 red slaad with a 90% chance of success or 2d8 blue slaad with an 80% chance of success, or 1-6 green slaad with a 75% chance of success. Treat this as ability as a 9th level spell. Once per day, Werajt may summon 2d6 gibbering mouthers of the largest size (12HD). Treat this ability as a 9th level spell.
Touch of Insanity (Su): By touch, Werajt inflicts insanity on his victims as the spell (Will save DC 33 to avoid).
 
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Celebrim

Legend
Part the Fifthteenth, Zazashaf, Lord of Motion

Zazashaf, Lord of Motion
Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 37d8 + 370 (666 hp)
Initiative: +16
Speed: 100’
AC: 49 (-1 size, +9 Dex, +8 deflection, +23 natural armor) touch 26, flatfooted 40
Base Attack/Grapple: +28/+44
Attack: Claw +43 melee (2d6+12)
Full Attack: 7 claw +43 melee (2d6+12), bite +41 melee (2d8+6)
Space/Reach: 5’/10’ ft.
Special Attacks: Spell-like abilities, summon aid
Special Qualities: Blazing fast, change shape, fast healing 20, damage reduction 25/epic and lawful, dark vision (infinite), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic, improved evasion, perpetual motion, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 36
Saves: Fort +30, Ref +33, Will +28
Abilities: Str 35, Dex 28, Con 31, Int 25, Wis 21, Chr 27
Skills: Bluff +48, Climb +49, Concentration +50, Diplomacy +45, Jump +52, Knowledge (Arcana) +44, Knowledge (Planes) +47, Intimidate +45, Listen +45, Move Silently +48, Perform (Dance) +29, Search +44, Spellcraft +44, Spot +45, Survival +42, Tumble +49
Feats: Astral tracking, combat reflexes, epic reflexes, dodge, improved combat reflexes, improved initiative, mobile spellcaster, mobility, multi-attack, power attack, spring attack, run, track
Environment: Limbo
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 25
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Zazashaf the Traveler is one of the oldest attested Slaad Lords, and also one of the mightiest. He goes by many names, but his appearance has remained unchanged in the texts for many thousands of years. He appears as a great toad bodied creature with 3 arms on his right side, and 4 to his left, and 4 legs to his right side and 3 on his left. His head and tail are canine in form - usually that of a golden jackal - and one leg to either side is canine and one arm to either side is ape-like. The scales of his torso are mottled white, brown, and green, and his eyes have the appearance of onyx. Zazashaf loves things that change and move and is fascinated by living things more than any other Slaad, especially those that live quick, eventful and dramatic lives. Plants move with painful slowness to him, but insects are a special pleasure to him and he takes umbrage when they are destroyed unthinkingly in his presence. While Zazashaf can be pleasant if rapid conversationalist when entertained, but anything that moves or speaks slowly will annoy and a would be road companion must be able to keep up with the great pace that he sets.

Zazashaf is the great enemy of Ygorl. Each mutually believes the other to be an abomination and a traitor tainted by alien and unnatural philosophies, and each will attack the other without hesitation.

Combat
Zazashaf generally is annoyed by combat and uses his incredible speed to simply run away from it. However, if thwarted or checked by persistant attackers, he is a terrifying foe that uses his incredible mobility to his best advantage, running circles around his foes, striking at opponents with a cyclone of claws, and then darting away before they can make a reply.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will – astral projection, alter self, animate objects, blur, break enchantment, chaos hammer (DC 22), cloak of chaos (DC 26), confusion (DC 23), control weather, control winds, detect law, detect magic, dispel law (DC 24), fabricate, freedom of movement, grease (DC 21), greater dispelling, greater magic fang, gust of wind, haste, heat metal, identify, invisibility, magic circle against law, magic missile, mirror image, misdirection, mislead, passwall, see invisibility, shatter (DC 20), telekinesis, unseen servant, word of chaos (DC 29), whispering wind, wind walk, wind wall; 3/day cyclone, limited wish, power word (any), teleport, time stop, wall of force. Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.
Blazing Fast (Ex): Zazashaf is always protected as by the blur and freedom of motion spells. Additionally, for each 20’ that Zazashaf moves in a round, he receives a +1 dodge bonus against missile attacks until the beginning of his next turn. Zazashaf has a +4 enhancement bonus on all initiative checks. Three times per day, Zazashaf can quicken any spell-like ability of 6th level or less.
Change Shape (Su): Zazashaf can assume any humanoid form as a standard action. In humanoid form, Zazashaf cannot use his natural weapons. Zazashaf may remain in this form until he chooses to assume a new one. The change in form may not be dispelled, but the Slaad Lord will revert to his natural form if killed. Even true seeing does not reveal Zazashaf’s natural form, only that Zazashaf is a disguised shapechanger.
Improved Evasion (Ex): If Zazashaf makes a successful Reflex saving throw against an attack that normally deals half damage on a successful save, she instead takes no damage. Even on a failed save, Zazashaf only takes half damage.
Perpetual Motion (Ex): As befitting an embodiment of motion, Zazashaf is always moving. Zazashaf receives an extra move action in each round and must move at least 10’ in a round. If for some reason Zazashaf is unable to move in a round, Zazashaf takes 2d6 damage at the end of the round.
Summon Aid (Sp): Three times per day Zazashaf may attempt to summon 1d8 green slaad with a 90% chance of success or 1d4 grey slaad with an 80% chance of success. Treat this as ability as an 8th level spell. Zazashaf enjoys good relations with the Eladrin. Once per day he may attempt to summon 2d6 Eldarin (50% will be Courre, 30% Bralani, and 20% Shiradi) with an 80% chance of success. Summoned Eldarin will not further an evil cause, but will otherwise serve at any task for 25 rounds. Treat this ability as a 9th level spell.
 
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paradox42

Villager
Consider these names immediately adopted into my game, at least! :D The beings themselves too, once you find the time to post them. I always felt that there were too few Slaad Lords, and meant to make some of my own (even had a few ideas for some, but you've already supplanted those in your own list).

The Lord of Absurdity should be particularly entertaining to see! :lol:
 

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