The game of Real Life

[Quasqueton]

What would elves, dwarves, halflings, gnomes, and orcs complain about if they were playing the game of Real Life? What is broken, badly modeled, or nerfed in the Real World compared to their perceptions/understanding of their world?

Quasqueton

 

[JimAde]

Half-orc Player: What do you mean I can't control the air conditioner with my computer? I'm a 10th level techno-geek with a +16 Computer Use modifer!

SM (Suburb Master): Sorry, the computer isn't hooked into the cooling system.

HOP: We'll see about that! I'll get my toolkit and sword and go down in the basement.

SM: You don't have a sword.

HOP: ...what?

SM: Nope. No weapons of any kind. Don't need 'em.

HOP: *Sighs* Fine. Weird. Ok, I go downstairs.

SM: All right, you turn the light on and...

HOP: Why would I do that?

SM: It's dark down there.

HOP: So?

SM: So you can't see in the dark. Says so right in the rule book.

HOP: That's stupid!

 

[jodyjohnson]

Time - you can't just say "I work 40 weeks on the full plate" and poof it's done. It actually takes 40 weeks of back breaking work.

Money - you never find large stores of it laying around waiting to be discovered. If you find a dead body (or very recently dead via your actions) it's illegal to take its stuff.

Adventure - when you're on one it's not much fun; cold, hot, tiring, uncertain, and there's no quarantee that the EL is appropriate for your abilities. You can't be certain if you'll be the stuff of legend or the guy that got killed and left his backpack for another to find.

 

[Mordane76]

Death and injury are so debilitating and permanent.


Transportation, even at high levels, takes hours of time out of the adventure.

 

[TheEvil]

Firearms are just crazy overpowered. Haven't these guys ever heard of game balance.

 

[nopantsyet]

Discrimination.

Religious zealotry.

Genocide.

War.

These are all great plot hooks in the game of D&D, but they are very different in the game of Real Life.

Imagine for a moment: A party of four armed half-orcs approaches a checkpoint at a bridge outside of Fallujah guarded by US Marines...

Now compare the many possible endings to that with: A party of four half-orcs approaches a bridge guarded by a band of orcs...

DISCLAIMER: I am not condoning or promoting any political position or making any political claims regarding the current conflict in Iraq. I use it only as an example of a volatile situation that could potentially have very different in-game and real-life ramifications.

 

[Turanil]

Real life?

This game is broken, not entertaining at all. For one thing character creation is tedious and takes almost 20 years to complete (thanks D&D with its one hour only to create a PC), and then you are probably but a 1st level commoner. Then, you cannot reroll if you are not happy with your stats, and improving some of them is horribly long and boring. Then, the adventuring session... what? adventures?? what adventures? Must go get a job first dude.

 

[Turanil]

Ah! I forgot: if you eventually get that "cool" assassin prestige class, with "cool" slaying abilities, chances are you won't use them for long but rapidly end your days in jail. Fortunately most PCs do understand these classes are not a good choice, and they better opt for another level of Pizza_eating_TV_watcher.

 

[Nisarg]

Real life?

This game is broken, not entertaining at all. For one thing character creation is tedious and takes almost 20 years to complete (thanks D&D with its one hour only to create a PC), and then you are probably but a 1st level commoner. Then, you cannot reroll if you are not happy with your stats, and improving some of them is horribly long and boring. Then, the adventuring session... what? adventures?? what adventures? Must go get a job first dude.

Well I would imagine that a real life game just like our D&D game would actually involve as PCs those of us lucky enough to get to have the real life adventures. Just like a D&D party doesn't roll up a bunch of commoners and experts and spend the session debating the price of barley.

So its really just a prejudice you're putting on real life based on your experience of it thus far.

My advice: time to rethink your life, dude. There is plenty of adventure to be had, and I speak from experience.

Nisarg

 

[Rabelais]

Very Funny

This game is broken, not entertaining at all. For one thing character creation is tedious and takes almost 20 years to complete

Ok, that's funny.