The Goodman Gang in The Mysterious Tower

[HalfOrc HalfBiscuit]

Still loving this, Goonalan. Keep it coming.

 

[Goonalan]

You're mad, however I thank you.

And so...

Dungeon Crawl Classic #3
The Mysterious Tower
Level 3-5​

Turn 87: Scrumping for beginners.

Ala meanwhile wanders away, unable to bear any more of Cas’ conversation, he’s just so… so… simple at times. Practical- maybe, even. Boring, actually often- more than he thinks, anyway.

There’s an apple on the ground, she reaches down and picks it up.

She looks up; she’s wandered into the overgrown orchard, it’s tangled and dark in here, a little spooky. She can see some semblance of order in the way the trees are planted, but they have since grown far beyond their allotted rows. Brambles twist underfoot, vines hang from the tree branches, she can see the husk of a dead beetle beneath one of the trees – there’s a glimmer of metal amidst the underbrush, she moves further in to investigate.

“ALA.” It’s Jim calling.
She turns to face the Ranger who has a clear line of sight to her, just through the tangle and the fading light.
“Yes.” She calls back
“Don’t go too…”

Ala is suddenly dragged out of sight.

“ALA?” Jim calls.
“Hel…” Is all the Priestess manages.

A huge vine suddenly springs to life, it attempts to snake around her hips, to grab her, thankfully Ala’s too quick, she escapes the plant, draws her longsword, in one swift motion, and then slices down severing the tip of the attacking liana.

“JIM- HELP.”

The Ranger is already on his way.

The grass beneath her feet, the briars and bushes reach out for her, grasp her, clutch her- wrap themselves around the lower legs of the Priestess.

“JIM. JIM- I’M STUCK.”

The Ranger is on the spot in seconds, the undergrowth is straining to snag Jim, but he’s wise to it, he’s in perpetual motion.

He grabs Ala and begins to drag her back, in the same instant a larger liana snakes out and reaches for its prey, the Priestess is unable to get away, the vine curves around her waist and tightens- crushing the life out of her.

“AaaaaaaRggJIM.”

Behind the pair the other members of the Goodman Gang come running- hacking their way through the overgrown undergrowth.

Anya’s Mage Armour shimmers as the others break through; Jim’s still wrestling the vine, trying to loosen its grip, all to no avail.

FWUNG

Newt buries a crossbow bolt in the base of the vine, as far away from Ala as he can, he doesn’t want to miss.

“JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM.”

Ala screams again, accompanied by the cracking sound of breaking ribs, she hovers on the edge of consciousness; it’s going very badly, very quickly.

“Got it.”

Newt cartwheels into the action, comes up beneath the vine grasping Ala, he’s spotted something- it takes a second for him to get his aim.

FWUNG

The crossbow bolt thumps into a central stalk, the heart of the Assassin Vine, a mixture of blood and sap spews from the rupture, the effect is instant, the liana wrapped around Ala coils back, Jim grabs the Priestess as she falls, drags her back out.

“BACK. BACK.”

The Ranger screams, Cas dodges in cuts another probing liana clean in two, then falls back like the Ranger ordered.

They’re back in the clearing, in the centre of the ruins. Ala mutters prayers, heals her wounds, a little embarrassed, a lot shaken.

“You can’t be going off on your own.” Cas warns her.
“I was with her.” Jim volunteers, and shares a look with Ala.
“It’s dangerous.” Cas finishes.
“I know that now”, Ala mutters, then quieter, “sorry.”
“Good. Just be careful, I can’t be there to rescue you all the time.” The Paladin can’t resist having the last word.

By the look on Ala’s face he’s going to regret his compulsion.

“Right then, let’s clear the surface structures, see what we find- remember we’re looking for a way into the Tower.” Cas leads them off, towards the shattered stables.

“Jerk”, Ala offers when Cas is far enough away to not hear, which makes Jim grin.

The stable is, or rather was, a long, low building, the stone columns on the corners still stand, as do some of the rafters, some of the roof is still intact. There are no signs of life however.

Cas motions to Newt, who shrugs bobs down and scuttles in, then back out again at double-speed. A squeaking cloud of bats twirls and swirls from the exit- take wing and flap off to find somewhere quieter to rest.

Newt smiles up at his audience, shrugs his shoulders and heads back in.

Thirty seconds later.

“It’s safe, come and have a look.”

The others head on in.

The darkness rushes away as sunrods are sparked into life, there’s a hole, a very large hole in the corner of the building, leading down, a gentle slope.

“Wait there.”

Jim rushes over, crouches low to the ground, and investigates.

“Paw prints, big, wide- heavy, a bear? Perhaps more than one- whatever it is it weighs a ton. We should try the other buildings before we head down there.”

The Ranger points down the dark hole, Cas sees the sense of it, leads the Gang back out, and on- to the shell of one of the keeps towers, previously hidden from sight, behind the Mysterious Tower.

Jim holds up his hand, crouches, the others follow suit- the Ranger points, there’s something in there.

It’s another Beetle, this one much bigger, its ten-foot-long carapace pokes through the rubble. A gigantic pair of mandibles protrude from the end opposite, they clack and taste the air. The Giant Stag Beetle is half-hidden, dug into the rubble.

A whispered conversation takes place.

“It’s very big.” Newt gulps.
“It’s in the way- I want to check that tower out, we have to shift it.” Cas states.
“Its shell- it must be six inches thick.”
“Thanks Ala.” Cas sees fit to put her down again.
“Then let’s do it properly, three with missiles; then me, you and Bec pile in- smash what’s left of it.” Jim offers.
“Good plan.” The Paladin concurs.
“It’s very big though.” Newt gulps again, “I hate Beetles”, the Gnome whispers.

And so it is, Newt, Anya and Ala ready missile weapons, the warriors stand ready, and when Jim signals crossbows and bows sing.

The result is devastating.

FWUNG

Newt’s crossbow bolt pierces the shell seemingly without resistance, the entire missile passes into the creature, a gout of filthy ichor signals the impact.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The Giant Stag Beetle doesn’t seem to be very happy, it lumbers round, shedding stone and mortar as it attempts to turn and face its foes.

It gets half-way.

FWUNGCRUNCH

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Anya crossbow bolt does the job, smashes into the creature’s right eye, completely obliterates the oracle, that’s enough for the Beetle, it kicks up a cloud of dust as it flees the scene.

SPUNG

Not fast enough, Ala’s arrow smashes into the side of the creature, a huge rent in its black armour opens up.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

It’s off and running, never coming back.

Leaving the three warriors with nothing to do, except check the area the Beetle so recently vacated- there’s nothing to be found, just the remains of the fallen tower.

“Move on.” Cas signals them forward again, to easily the most complete and stable looking of the ruined buildings.

The stone-framed Officer’s Quarters is relatively intact, though severely damaged, through the doorway Cas notes the piles of shattered furniture that choke the room, there are two open doorways leading off from the first chamber.

“Newt.”
The Gnome shakes his head, then grins, and quietly, no silently, heads on in, through the wreckage, it’s a good job he’s small.

The first chamber was once some sort of office, the remains of a desk, several chairs, a bench- nothing else really of interest, except perhaps the odd gold coin that the Rogue manages to somehow, almost magically, locate.

The Gnome signals thumbs up, all is well, then points to a doorway, and heads on in.

The second chamber is a bedroom, the remains of a bed and a wardrobe make this obvious, it takes a further two minutes to search the chamber.

Outside the other members of the Gang wait with baited breath, finally the Gnome emerges back into the twilight, shakes his head, points at the remaining doorway, and then creeps on through it.

The final chamber is some form of storeroom, or walk in closet, either way it’s a mess, but…

Newt moves over, further in, peers down at the floor- there’s another hole, man-size, a ladder attached to the wall leads down into the gloom, it looks safe, sniff, but it smells.

Newt heads back to report his find, the way down, certainly not the gold he’s found.

“I still thing we ought to check out all of the surface buildings first, I don’t want us bottled up down there with nasties roaming over out heads- that would be like walking into a trap.” Cas argues. With no one as it turns out, the others concur.

“Let’s get it done then, the light’s getting worse every minute.”
Cas nods back, the Gang move off quickly, Newt’s spotted something, “there.”

The Gnome scurries off, the others come tumbling after.

Alas a little too quick, it’s another hole, this one much bigger, much deeper, and straight down.

Cas loses his footing on the slick earth, kicks air, he stumbles forward, still not in control, and falls over the lip of the pit…

Next Turn: Don’t press it.

 

[Goonalan]

Dungeon Crawl Classic #3
The Mysterious Tower
Level 3-5​

Turn 88: Don’t press it.

THUNG

The Paladin hits something, something small and hard to see, particularly in the twilight.

“OOOOF.”

Whatever it is it thumps the wind out of him.

Cas slips and fumbles, and falls again…

And is left dangling in mid-air clutching onto, well… who knows.

The Paladin kicks his legs, manages to hang on to whatever it he’s clutching with his hands.

“What’s keeping him up?” Jim enquires, to open-mouthed stares.
“Magic?” Newt wonders.

“I’m holding onto a rod.” Cas shouts over, one hand slips, flails and then grabs back up and onto the rod.

“What’s the rod holding onto?” Jim shouts back.
“Well I never…” Newt grins and quickly swallows down a Potion of Spider Climbing, “I’ll be a Monkey’s Uncle”, an expression of amazement back in Lowth.
“What is it?” Anya asks.
“Hang on.” Ala screams at Cas, and is instantly shushed by the crowd.

“Err… People. People. I’m about to fall.” Cas states.

The Gang stop to watch.

Cas falls.

“OOOOOOOOOF.”

Onto another rod.

He has a better grip this time.

“I’m coming over.” Newt plays out a line of rope, gives the end to Bec, presses a lit sunrod into his belt and leaps into the unknown.

Actually he grasps the rod perfectly, performs a brief loop, and settles squatting on the the thin metal rod.

“There’s a button, on the rod, should I press…”
“Don’t press the button.” Newt shouts at the paladin, he’s very definite.

“Oh, ok.” Cas nods, and then nearly loses his grips, he scrabbles and flails for a while before grabbing back on.

“Don’t press the button, really Cas, just don’t.”
Below him the Paladin nods.

“Bec, lower me down.”

Slowly Newt is let down, the rope over the first rod, which acts like a brace, he’s to the Paladin, and in seconds has looped the rope twice around Cas’ waist.

“He’s good to go.” Newt shouts up.

Bec hauls and a waving Paladin departs the hole.

A minute later Cas is topside and back in control of the situation.

“I said I’ll be a minute.” Newt’s voice echoes from the depths, it’s clear he’s going down and not up.

“Newt, come back here… Newt.” Cas calls back and stamps his foot, the soft soil shifts and slides, the Paladin scrabbles back, reddens.

“NEWT.” He calls again.

But the Gnome is gone, well actually…

Newt grips to what appears to be the last, the fourth, Immovable Rod, what a find. The Gnome looks down, as best he can, gently swaying- the cavern below is circular, there seem to be exits, it’s difficult to get his bearings. He can see the floor is thick with a living carpet, a myriad type of fungi, one for every occasion.

Funny there’s a spot to his right that seems to have been trampled flat.

Newt swings up, at lightning speed, presses the button of the last rod, which causes it to come lose in his hand, and catches onto the rod above, he repeats the operation- three more times, the last leap depositing him back on the surface and bowing low before the crowd.

Bec, Ala, Anya and Jim go to applaud.

The only thing stopping them is Cas’ face. The Paladin taps his foot on the ground, arms folded, “Well?”
“Well what?” Newt replies.
“You heard what I said to Ala earlier”, which, again, is the wrong thing to say, “you can’t just go wandering off on your own young man.”
“Who do you think you are, my Mum?”
“For the purpose of this adventure, yes.” Cas chides.
“What? Hang on- did you just call me ‘young man’?”
“Yes, well… what I meant…”
“Well for a start I’m not a man, a HU-man, I’m a Gnome, it’s not me that goes falling down holes needing to be rescued, you great clod-hopper.”
“Well that’s as may…”
“And furthermore, how old are you?”
“What does that matter?” Cas looks sheepish.
“How old?”
“I’ll be twenty-two in three months.”
“Right then, I’ll be fifty next week, so screw you sonny.”

Newt wanders off, muttering.

Then suddenly turns on his heals.

“Do you know what these are?” Newt holds up the four rods.
“No. Not really.”
“Not really?” Its Newt’s turn to chide.
“Well, no. Not at all, really- I mean I saw what they were doing in the hole, but…”
“But what?”
“But no, not really, I don’t know what they do, oh fiddlesticks, what do they do Newt?”

Newt holds one of the rods in the air.

“These are called Immovable Rods, there’s a second-story guy in The Nunny, he uses one of these, and he’s the best in the business.”
“So?”
“So what these do is somehow, when you press the button in, they connect with the air- the stay in place, they’re called Immovable Rods, you can hang off them, use them as steps- whatever.”
“What’s your point?” Cas is just being surly now, everyone else can see Newt’s point.
“My point is, Lord, they may come in useful, like they did earlier- for saving your fat ass.” Newt spits back.

The two move closer, square up, the Gang close in should the need arise to separate the pair.

“Oh, and the other thing is, the second-story guy, he paid three thousand gold for his, for just one of these. One-Two-Three-Four, Hey Presto- we’re rich.”

Newt shakes the rods in the air to make his point.

“Now watch.”

He grabs the first rod again. Strategically places it in the air, presses the button and hauls himself…

Falls on his backside.

Newt scrambles up quickly, attempts to repeat the trick, he does- with same results. He tries one rod after another.

“There magic’s spent, not a trace.” Anya remarks, her Detect magic spell tells her this is so.

It goes quiet.

Newt keeps trying- the rods are not working however.

Eventually Cas breaks the silence, he giggles, attempts to turn the laugh into a yawn, it only makes it worse.

“Right, that’s it, I’m off home.”

Newt turns and stomps off.

“Anya, go after him.” The Wizard stares at Cas, “Please Anya.”
She nods and heads over to the Gnome who is at present kicking stones in random directions, cursing all the while under his breath.

“Come on; let’s check the rest of this place out- quickly.” Cas leads Ala, Jim and Bec off towards what was obviously the main barracks.

The wood framed building is now completely destroyed. The Gang can barely make out the outline of where the walls once stood. There’s a jumble of smashed and rotten furniture inside, a swift inspection reveals nothing of interest.

The four adventurers move on, past Anya and Newt sitting together, whispering to each other, looking up to stare at Cas every now and then.

The last area to be inspected is another ruined corner of the keep where a sturdy tower once stood, the bodies of several dead rats litter the place, otherwise it’s empty.

They wander back, congregate again- the light’s almost gone.

“We’d better get below.” Jim states.
Newt looks up at the Ranger.
“Newt.” But before the Ranger can finish the Gnome is on his way, back over to the Officer’s Quarters and to the trapdoor and ladder in the storeroom.

Thirty seconds later Newt’s sunrod chases away the dark, he descends.

“It smells- bad.” Newt whispers back up, and then heads off cautiously.

Newt leaves the sunrod a little way from the ladder; the shadows are more conducive to his type of work, then heads on, down a 50-foot long hallway which ends in a dank, dark 30-by-50-foot room, which clearly used to be a jail. The stone walls are well built and reinforced, obviously designed by a master builder. On each side of the room are two barred jail cells. The two closest are only small, 10-by-10 cubicles, while the farther cells are much bigger, they must measure 20-by-20. The bars to each cell are bent and rusted; either something broke out, or else broke in.

Then…

“Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go and eat worms,
Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.

Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.”

Newt stops short, a shadowy lump lurches into his vision, whatever it is its big, and has One-Two-Three legs, and One-Two-Three arms.

Newt’s out of there.

And in less than ten seconds back at the ladder, a couple of seconds later, back on the surface.

“There’s something down there, something…”
“Something what?” Jim asks, Anya snakes her arm round the Gnome’s shoulders.
“Something big.”

Anya crouches, so she’s at eye level with Newt.

“What was it doing Newt? What did you see?”
“It was… singing.”
“Singing?” Anya looks up at Cas, confused.
“Singing about worms.” Newt finishes and has a little cry.

Next Turn: Top Scat.

 

[Goonalan]

Dungeon Crawl Classic #3
The Mysterious Tower
Level 3-5​

Turn 89: Top Scat.

Anya touches Bec, who is instantly flooded with warmth, her Endurance spell adds density and body-mass to the already thick-set Barbarian, Bec grins and lumbers away, first down the ladder.

They Gang reassemble at the bottom of the shaft.

“Which way?” Jim whispers.

There’s a secondary passage heading south, the main passage heads west. Newt points west, the Gang creep forward, Newt filters to the rear.

“Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go and eat worms,
Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.”

“That’s it.” Newt whispers, while hiding behind Anya’s robes.

“Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.”

The Gang are close…

SPLAT

That surprised them.

“Hur-hur.”

Followed by chomping sounds.

“Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and... Whassat?”

Thump-thump-thump.

Huge feet plod towards the corridor, where the Goodman Gang are hiding, which is nicely illuminated by a pair of glowing sunrods.

“Ha ha.” Jim leaps into the room, the others shuffle in quickly behind him, seamless.

Their lights illuminate the foul creature fully.

The thing has a bloated body, perhaps some eight feet wide, and is covered with a rock-like skin, brownish gray in color, which is in turn covered with dung. It’s huge, it must weigh half a ton at least.

It stands on three thick squat legs, with a massive gaping maw filled with jagged broken, and therefore razor-sharp, teeth- which even as the adventurers stare is being filled by the remains of a Giant Dire Rat, which is in turn being gripped by one of its three barbed tentacles, the other two wave in the air.

It eats with its mouth open.

“Bleuurgh…”

Newt says goodbye to his lunch.

But comes up with his crossbow in hand.

The Otyugh makes up its mind.

“BUFFET.”

And launches itself at the Goodman Gang.

FWUNG

Newt’s crossbow bolt scratches a fairly pathetic gouge in the creatures armour like hide.

The other members of the Gang come alive, Ala is the first off the mark, a tentacle swoops around towards her, she ducks low and comes up on the other side longsword in hand- slashes wildly, but only just manages to pierce the thing.

Jim is next in line, he leaps the tentacle aimed at him, lands safely and brings his axe down hard- BOING, it rebounds, he juggles his weapon but manages to keep hold of it.

Cas and Bec take the direct route- head on they charge, the third tentacle comes round in a swatting arc, Cas gets it all wrong, he leaps up, hoping the thing will pass beneath him, it wont- the tentacle slams him in the side, knocking the wind out of him instantly (again), and in the same moment picking him up and batting him into the wall of the chamber, some fifteen feet away, the Paladin is unconscious before he hits the deck.

“SANDWICH.” Bec counters, and buries a good half of his greatsword in the Otyugh’s right hand side, almost severing a tentacle.

Bec pays the price, the tentacle that swatted Cas away continues its arc, the Barbarian rides the blow, he’s two close to the creatures body for there to be any real force behind it.

“OOF.”

This time it’s the Otyugh.

Bec’s not done, he thumps his boot into the crap-ball's gut, or where he thinks its gut might be, the creature staggers backwards, the Barbarian it seems has plenty of momentum and brings down his greatsword again, on the top of the Otyugh, between its eyes.

His sword bites deep into the thing.

“Surrender, surrender, surrender.”

The giant ball of filth staggers backwards further, as far away as it can get from the Gang, its tentacles flailing madly in the air.

“Me no hurty. Me no hurty. Me freeeewnd.”

Ala is quickly over to Cas, who opens his eyes the instant she gets there.

“I’m ok.” He winks and grins.
“Please yourself.” Ala wanders off leaving the Paladin still lying on the floor.

“Me no hurty. Me Scat. Me freewnd. No hurty.”

Jim sheathes his axe, puts his hands in the air.

“I’m Jim- what are you?”
“Me Scat. No hurty, freeewnd.”
“But what are you?” Jim wrinkles up his nose, he’s now close enough to really get a whiff of the foul creature.
“You’re covered in…” Anya begins, “how can you… Do you not… Ohhh.”
“No hurty. Scat good boy.”
“But what are…” Jim tries again.
“He’s Scat.” Anya concludes, “move on Jim.”
“Oh. Yes, ok. Hello Scat, I’m…”
“Jeeewm.” Scat finishes.
“Right. Yes. What are you doing here?”
“Pooooor Scat trap-edd. This Scat home now. Nice, plenty ratty. Buffet. But baddy.”
Jim starts to laugh, spots Bec, the Barbarian doesn’t look amused.
“Right. Good. Tell us about this place, what’s through there?”

Jim points at a shut door on the far side of the chamber.

“Mekal stuff, no eaty, and big Aruggah’s.”
“Big… What?”
“Arrugah’s. Not freewnd like Scat.”
“What’s an Arrugah?” Ala asks.

“ARRRRRRRUUUU-GAH.”

Scat lurches forward snapping his mouth open and closed, flailing his tentacles wildly, it seems they’re playing charades.

“I have no idea.” Jim mutters.
“Neither do I, put it seems they’re not as friendly as Scat here.” Cas whispers back.

“And down there Scat, the other passage?”

Jim points back the way they came.

“More mekal- no tasty.”

Scat’s tentacles flop on the floor, forlornly, a rat suddenly darts from one of the cells, and he’s off.

The lumbering Otyugh gives chase, which causes all of the Goodman Gang to take sudden and evasive action.

FLOP

The rat gets away, leaving a despondent Scat.

“Whatch yew ere fur?”
“We’ve come to free the Wizard’s Ghost from the Tower.” Jim states.
“White light fing?”
“Yes the ‘white light fing’.”

Scat nods, flops his tentacles around a bit, itches one of his legs, loosing great slabs of caked on dung.

“Scat freewnd.”

Half-a-ton of faecal matter shuffles towards Jim, a tentacle twirls out, gingerly reaches out for the Ranger, coils around Jim’s waist- friendly like.

“Scat hungry-mungry.”

The Otyugh’s belly rumbles.

It farts to punctuate its point.

“Right. Good. Bec come with me, Cas keep Scat company.” The Paladin nods, eventually, not so keen on taking orders perhaps, “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Jim trots off with Bec lumbering behind. The Ranger’s as good as his word, less than five minutes later the pair are back, and dragging most of the remains of one of the Bombadier Beetles they encountered earlier.

Scat flaps his tentacles together excitedly.

“Somebody likes me, nobody hates me,
I'm gonna chomp on a Beekul,
lumpy bits, slimy bits; juicy bits and loosey bits,
Crunchy, munchy bumpy lunchy Beekul.”

The pair sling the carcass of the Beetle on the floor, Scat blinks once or twice, a tentacle skitters out and splats into a newly formed pool of Beetle ichor, nonchantly retracts and heads to Scats maw. A flopping red tongue licks at the end of the tentacle, Scat grins.

“MMMM. Buffet.”

Scat blinks some more, looks at Jim, love in his eyes.

“Go on then, if you’re hungry.” Jim kicks the Beetle corpse.

Scat doesn’t need a second invitation- he’s on it.

CRUNCH-CHOMP-CHEW-TEAR-SLUUUUUUURP.

All accompanied by a fairly constant stream of farts and hisses from Scats backside, and then a stream of excreta, or as its known in the Otyugh world- cladding.

It gets too much to watch very quickly.

“I think I’m going to be…” Newt is, again, all down his leg.

Scat suddenly looks up, sniffs the air, spots the pile of puke, and licks his lips.

“Oh Pelor.” Newt moans.
“Right then, let’s get on.” Cas declares.
The others nod, quickly.

“Scat, we’re going through there- to see the Arrugah’s.” Cas states.
Scat nods back, very briefly, and continues to stuff his mouth full of filth and gore.
“Scat. SCAT. SCAT.” Jim shouts.

The third one gets the Otyugh’s attention, he stops eating, looks at Jim, smiles.

“We’re going on, you’re in charge of our defence, of this place- I want you to defend this place- come and tell us if anything nasty comes along. When we get back me and Bec might go and get you another Beetle, I mean Beekul, you know- BUFFET.” Jim croaks, and gets a stare that could melt lead from Bec.

Scat nods furiously, and then launches back into scoffing the Beetle.

The Goodman Gang head off, through the western door.

Next Turn: The Arrugah.

 

[Goonalan]

Dungeon Crawl Classic #3
The Mysterious Tower
Level 3-5​

Turn 90: The Arrugah.

The Goodman Gang quietly creep into the chamber ahead, Jim leads the way into a 30-by-30 room filled with rubble, shards of wood, and loose dirt. Something has dug a passage straight through the stone walls in the north-western corner, with one tunnel leading to the north and another to the west.

“Shhh.” The Ranger scouts ahead, the others watch on- as silent as possible.

Although Scat’s making a fair amount of noise in the chamber behind them, wolfing down his meal of squished Bombadier Beetle.

Jim’s back in a minute or two.

“The passage north is silent, well almost, it stinks of animal- bear possibly, do you think Arrugah’s are bears? No matter. The passage west is much noisier, there are several… things, down there, they sound- big and angry, no not angry, ferocious, big definitely- I’m betting they’re bears.” Jim whispers.
The Goodman Gang nod back in unison.
Cas goes to speak, but Jim cuts the Paladin off, unintentionally, he hasn’t finished.
“I suggest Newt takes a look north, I’ll go with him, I’m fairly stealthy- for support, we’ll see what we can see. You lot keep an eye out for us, and watch the passage east- make sure nothing comes. If it does make some noise, I don’t want to get cut off.”
The Goodman Gang nod, and smile, the Paladin just settles on nodding.
“Come on then.” Newt winks and leads Jim off.
“Back in a bit.” The Ranger whispers, the rest of the gang creep over to the intersection of tunnels, monitoring both passages.

Newt, with Jim trailing a good ten feet behind him, heads north and into a roughly dug earthen cave, with no wall or ceiling reinforcements whatsoever, showers of dirt rain down- it doesn’t look that safe.

“Newt.” Jim whispers, he can see the danger.

The Gnome flaps his hand- signalling silence, creeps further in to the chamber.

In the middle of the floor rests a huge feathered creature of some kind, the size and shape of a bear, an Owlbear in fact. A rhythmic, wheezing pattern of breathing, it’s quite definitely asleep.

Newt turns and spies Jim, puts his hand up, the Ranger halts, squats.

Sniiiiiiick.

Newt draws his Adamantine Dagger, the dull blade barely registers in the shadowy light.

“No, New…” Jim whispers hurriedly.

But is too late.

SLIIIIIIICE

And the Owlbear is awake; its massive saucer eyes blink open, Newt tumbles backwards out of the fray. Throat cut, great gouts of blood streaming down, the creature staggers to get up, mouth and jaws flapping furiously, but no sound emerges.

It doesn’t even make it to all fours; its death is remarkably quick for something so large.

Thirty seconds later it’s just a huge lump on the dirty ground, Newt and Jim crouch beside it- breathing hard; fear and not exertion.

“That was dangerous.” Jim cautions, still talking in whispers.
“I know.” Newt’s teeth reflect in the light.

Jim thinks about it, then lays a reassuring hand on the Gnome’s shoulder.

“Come on, let’s go tell the others big guy.”

Grinning the pair head quietly back, gather the others up and creep back into the first chamber, where Scat has finished his lunch.

Newt notices that his pile of puke has also been cleaned up.

The mighty Otyugh is on guard duty, actually Scat is flopped on the floor in the corner of the room, snoring.

PARRP-PAPAPPAARP.

And farting, contentedly.

Jim tells the story, the slaying of the Owlbear- Newt looks on, a thin smile and a heart full of pride.

“How big?” Bec asks.
“Twice the size of you.” Jim states.
Bec looks again at the Gnome, reaches down and ruffles his hair.
“Pack it in, or your next.” Newt growls, and grins.

“Right then, I thing there are at least two others, Owlbears, down the other passage, what we need is a plan.”
Cas goes to open his mouth, Jim waits, the others turn to watch- see how this is going to turn out, Cas smiles then motions for Jim to continue.
“Thanks. Right then we creep in, as close as we can get- sunrods in, open fire, then Cas leads the charge, what d’you say?”
“I’ve got an idea. I’m going to give them a little something to think about- don’t charge in until I say it’s safe.” Anya grins and fingers her necklace.
“Ok.” Jim looks confident, “Cas wait for Anya’s signal.”
The Paladin nods.
“Hang on.” Ala mutters a short prayer, the Gang are engulfed in a glittering blue light, the Blessings of Correllon.

Less than thirty seconds later the Gang have reached the end of the eastern passage, which actually turns to head south, at the entrance to a roughly circular cavern filled with signs of regular use. A nearly vertical air shaft allows for twilight-level illumination. But the sight that really catches the Gang’s attention are not the huge claw marks on every surface, but the source of the claw marks, standing about thirty feet away from them. Two enormous bear-like creatures covered in shaggy coats of feathers. Their beaked, bird-like heads hiss a warning; they turn swiftly, despite their size and surroundings to glare at Anya and Newt.

Jim throws a pair of sunrods in, which confuses both the creatures momentarily, they shy away, ward their eyes.

“Feck.” Newt manages a ragged breath, “they’re enormous.”

THUNG

His crossbow bolt smashes into side of the first Owlbear’s skull, lodges there.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-GAHHHH.

The Owlbear staggers left, nearly collapses, shakes its head, pawing at the bolt lodged there.

Newt’s hands jiggle with his crossbow, it’s reloaded in seconds, the other Owlbear still hasn’t moved, taking in the scene.

FWUNG

His second bolt thumps into the already hurt creatures back, causing another spasm of pain; the creature is clearly no measure for the Gnome.

“Go on then.” Newt waves at the open mouthed Anya.

Who shuts her mouth and then launches a pea sized object into the chamber, it’s one of the beads from her necklace.

“BACK.” Anya screams and shuffles back out of the chamber.
“What?” Cas asks and looks to see where Anya’s going, he turns back just in time.

FWUMP.

Anya’s Fireball rocks the chamber; a spiralling wash of flame shoots out in every direction.

And in seconds is gone, leaving too floundering Owlbears, both on fire, both caught in the epicentre of the blast.

ARRRRU-gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“So that’s what she does.” Ala states and smiles thinly at Anya.

“CHARGE- FOR PELOR.”

Cas races in, followed by Ala and Jim. The three slice madly at the first flaming Owlbear, Ala’s longsword cuts deep into the creatures right arm, Jim almost severs the creatures left leg, and Cas stabs the length of his blade in the flailing, now falling, monsters chest- the Owlbear sinks to its knees. The three back off.

Bec runs around the first combat and straight for the second creature, Newt’s crossbow bolt still protruding from the side of its skull.

SLICE.

And that’s all it takes, the huge thing tumbles and crunches into the dirt.

AAAARRRRRRU-GAH-GAH-GAH.

The Gang as one turn, there’s a dirt passage on the opposite side of the chamber to where they entered, clearly there’s another Owlbear down there, and it doesn’t sound too happy.

Jim turns back as the first Owlbear slumps forward, flames lick and curl, the fire rages and burns continues to consume the thing.

“Keep moving.” Jim orders and points the way over to the exit, the rest of the Gang rush over and gather, only for Jim and Newt to lead them on, south and then east into another rough cavern.

Two small bundles of fur cower in the corner of next chamber. Their massive parent towers in front of them, stretched to her full height of eight feet. Her feathers bristle as she hisses ferociously, warning the Gang away.

Newt fumbles with his crossbow, expertly, fits a bolt and is and about to fire.

Slap.

When Jim knocks the device out of his hands.

“WAIT. Shhhhh. Sorry Newt.” Jim finally whispers, “It’s defending its young, it’s a female, look.” Jim points; sure enough the two bundles are juvenile Owlbears, they squirm and hide behind their mother.

“Hang on.”

Jim slings his battleaxe, “cover me”, and takes a couple of steps forward, then just stands there.

“Nobody move.” He whispers back.

Nobody moves for a while.

“For how long?” Newt whispers back.
“As long as it takes- now shush Newt.”

Newt leans back on the cavern wall, settles there, yawns and shuts his eyes.

“Wake me when he’s done.” The Rogue whispers.

Anya nods and continues to watch, and be impressed by, Jim.

For the first minute the huge female continues to hiss her warnings, the Gang do not move. A while later she begins to settle, its at that point that Jim starts to hum, a familiar tune- the tune of the song that Scat was singing, but not the words- its kind of soothing.

Five minutes later the Owlbear family are either sleeping or simply watching and waiting, the mother now sat on her haunches, still protecting her cubs.

“Ok.” Jim whispers, he slowly points, there’s another exit on the opposite side of the cavern, heading east again.

“Go and take a look, quietly. I’ll stay here.” Jim whispers again.

Slowly, after Newt is woken, the others creep behind Jim, one at a time, and head off down the far passage, there’s a light ahead.

Jim watches the Owlbear, as the Owlbear watches his compatriots, she remains calm, still seated in front of her young, she yawns and clacks her beak a bit.

Cas leads the Gang on, the tunnel turns sharply to the right where it encounters an underground section of the Tower. The shimmering blue force field seems out of place underground, where it borders wet dirt and mud, but it makes it clear that the Tower extends deep underground. Instead of seeing its white marble walls behind the force field, they instead see mud and dirt with the occasional patch of dirty marble visible beneath.

The tunnel turns away from the Tower and into a small dead-end cavern filled with bones and rubbish.

Newt sidles over to the Tower.

“Careful.” Cas warns.
“I always am.” Newt mutters, gingerly the Gnome places his hand against the force field- solid.
“No way in here.” Newt declares.
“We’ll check the chamber then head back to Jim.” Cas states.

And so they do, to no avail, there are no secrets to be found, and five minutes later, after a safe crossing of Moma Owlbear’s chamber, they’re back in the first chamber, Scat’s home.

The Otyugh is just waking.

Next Turn: Scat Bad.

 

[Goonalan]

Dungeon Crawl Classic #3
The Mysterious Tower
Level 3-5​

Turn 91: Scat Bad.

“Scat freewnd. Beekul all BURp gown.” Scat shuffles over to the Jim, strokes the Ranger with a stray tentacle.
“That’s very nice Scat. Arrugah all gone too, well apart from Moma and the kids, you’re free to go.” Jim states.

Scat looks astonished, although how anyone can tell- he hasn’t got the most expressive of faces, and besides he’s covered in bum dung.

“Blbbllebbblleelbbe.” Or something like that, the Otyugh is clearly beyond words, certainly excited.

Scat thrashes his tentacles wildly and rushes off through the eastern door.

The Goodman Gang break for supper, prior to checking out the southern passage, it’s been a long day so far but after a string of victories, and against what should have proved to be incredibly tough foes, the group settle down for a well earned rest.

“What have you got?” Newt mithers Jim.
“I think its fish paste.” Jim looks unhappy and unsure; the sandwiches from the Inn are not up to much.
“MMmmm.” Newt examines the contents of his sandwich, it looks like…
“What I wouldn’t give for some Magic Smash right now.” The Rogue states.
“Mmmm Magic Smash”, Anya confirms.

WHAM

The door explodes, Scat is back in the room, he smells of Bar-b-q, to be precise Bar-b-qed Owlbear.

“Jeerm tha door is openink. I’m three, three at lask, three at lask, thank Jeeerm I’m three at lask.”

Scat waddles over, towards the Ranger, he seems to be puckering up, set to kiss Jim.

“Ahem, Scat.” Jim leaps to his feet and backs away, “Scat, we have further need of your services, as payment for your freedom perhaps.”

Scat opens his eyes, shuffles to a halt.

“Ask I am yure fatfull freewnd.”
“We need you to guard our backs again, stay here- we’re heading south, down the other passage, we don’t want anything creeping up on us in the mean time. Can you do that?” Jim asks.
“It wood be may onor fweend Jerm.” Scatt flutters his eyelids, he has no eyelashes.

The Goodman Gang get ready for further exploration, check straps, belts, buckles- ready for the fight.

“Jerm.” Scat croons.
“What Scat?”
“Jerm, can I be Bad?”
The Ranger looks confused. “Bad?”
“Yes. Bad.”
He looks more confused. “Bad?”
“Yeeeees. Bad.”
“Bad?” Jim enquires.
Anya’s had enough.

“Scat what do you mean by Bad? We don’t understand.”
“Bad- like singy of songy’s.”
Jim looks, more confused- his usual self, there one and the same.
“Singy of songy’s?” Jim repeats.
“You mean a Bard?” Anya asks.
“Yeth. Yeth. Bad.”
“I suppose.” Jim shrugs.
“Is dat it- am I Bad now?” Scat wonders.
“You need to learn some songs, sorry songy’s, I guess, then you’re Bard, sorry a Bard, sorry a Bad… Bad, whatever.” Jim moves out of the chamber, the others follow after.
“Then I Bad?” Scat calls after him.
“Yep. Why not.” Jim calls back.

The southern passage splits again, continues south or diverts east, Jim leads them south and into a 30-by-30 room littered with broken weapons and overturned weapon racks. It clearly used to be an armoury. It’s been disturbed fairly recently, as evidenced by the clawed tracks on the dusty floor.

“Don’t worry, their Scat’s tracks, and an Owlbear, but that was some time ago.” Jim mooches about the chamber, the others likewise, with Cas at the door to keep an eye out for anything untoward.

The armoury is a dump, there’s not a serviceable item left in it, what isn’t bent or broken is rusted almost to dust.

“I need some treasure.” Newt states, a whisper loud enough for all the Gang to hear, which is exactly as he intended.
“We’re here to rescue the Wizard’s Ghost, in the hope that he will help us to fathom what’s going on.” Cas is vehement, “we’re not here for treasure.”
“What keeps you awake at night is none of my business tin man, that’s between you and your conscience, you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders because you put it there… You fool. I’m happy as I am, just show me the money.” Newt shrugs and wanders away from the Paladin.
“Why you…” Cas starts.
“Come on, let’s try the passage east.” Jim states.

The Gang move on, head east and then south, Jim and Newt in the front rank, Cas and Ala at the back, not that she’s particularly talking to him.

The 10-foot wide passageway is different to the last, the nature of the stonework changes. Whereas before it was well designed by someone who clearly knew their craft, it’s now rougher and much less precise. The stones are held together with a crumbling mortar that seems to barely stay together. In fact, it seems ancient.

Ahead is an archway, also designed in the ancient, more homely style of stonework. A crude symbol of a kneeling figure is carved into the stone above the arch, further down the hallway is another, similar, arch.

“Odd- it’s Meelkor, I think.” Cas explains.
“What is?” Ala asks.
“The old man, ancient saint, I think. There used to be a statue of him near the common refectory, the lacquer had completely gone from his backside.” Cas finshes.
“What?” Anya and Ala state in unison, and then share a look.
“Don’t know really, he was something to do with the common man, although they used to call him, ‘kiss my arse Meelkor.’”
“Why?” Jim gets in on the action.
“Why what?”
“Why did they call him ‘kiss my arse…’, whatever?” Jim enquires.
“Because that’s what they used to do- kiss his arse, the statue’s arse that is.” Cas simply states, but that proves to be still too little.
“Why? Why’d they kiss his arse?”
“Don’t know, I think it was supposed to be lucky. Not sure really. He was an ugly old bugger, face like a, well… a cow’s backside, stooped with a walking stick.”

Cas leads off, the others, a little perplexed, follow on.

More or less everybody spots that Cas has now retaken his old position, as leader of the Goodman Gang, everyone in fact except Jim, who mutters to himself- “kiss my arse Meelkor”, shrugs and trots to catch up.

Further down the hall Cas leads the Gang through the second archway, similar to the first. Thirty feet past it the crumbling old walls have collapsed in a cave-in that blocks the hallway. A huge pile of stone and dirt reaches almost to the ceiling, there’s a tiny space at the top just big enough for someone small to take a look.

“Newt, if you would be so kind?” Cas asks.
“Yours to command, master.” Newt quickly loops a length or rope around his waist, throws the tail-end to Bec, who grabs hold, and scuttles up the rocky incline, and in seconds is gone from sight.

Thirty seconds tick by.

“Are you…” Cas starts.
“Fine. No Ghouls to report, the passage carries on a while, I think there’s a larger chamber ahead, I didn’t bother scoping it out, I figured I shouldn’t get too far ahead of you.” Newt states and clambers back through the hole.

“I think we’re going to have to clear it, at least half of it, we don’t want to get stuck the other side.” Cas states.
Nobody looks pleased at the prospect, its going to be back-breaking work.
“Alright.” Bec adds, and begins to haul a rock away.
“Unless… hang on a moment.” Jim rushes back the way they came.

He’s gone for about two minutes, and when he returns he’s not alone.

Here comes Scat, eager to help out, he skips, sort of, down the passageway.

The Otyugh sets too, hauling rock, rubble and dirt out the way with its huge paddle-ended tentacles. Jim grins, it spreads- infectious, Cas settles for a half-hearted smile. The Goodman Gang join in; many hands (and tentacles) make light work.

“Jewm?” Scat whines a little.
“Yes Scat.”
“I’ve fort of a songy- can I singy it fur yew?”
“’Kay.” Jim nods.

Nothing happens for a while.

“Scat, are you going to singy for us?” Jim asks.
“Yes. Onlee I onlee got tha korus. It not goody. Not Bad enuff.”
“No matter, let’s hear it.” Jim encourages.

Nothing happens for a while longer.

“Scat. The song?”
“I’m embarrassed.”
“There’s no need…”
“It’s quite… loud.”
“That’s ok, we’re making a fair amount of noise as it is, whatever’s the other side has heard us already.” Jim shrugs.
“Oh. Ok. Jewm?”
“Yes Scat.” Jim straightens, stops work to stare at the Otyugh.
“It’s a bitty fast.”
Jim nods, “let’s hear it then.”
“’Kay.”

Nothing happens for a second, well except that Scat takes in huge lungfuls of air, like he’s filling up, and sure enough he seems to be getting bigger, inflating.

“Scat?” Jim worries.
“S’okay.” Scat quickly squeaks, trying not to let the air out.

Then, “S’reddy.” The Otyugh squeaks again, Jim nods, the other members of the Gang stop what they are doing, aware they are about to witness some sort of momentous occasion, fingers crossed- here’s hoping Scat doesn’t explode, he’s looking particularly taut.

Fart-FART-FART-Trump-Parp-FART.

The noise builds, and gets faster, and there is a tune in there, although it’s very deep, rumbling drums accompanied by a whole orchestra of throbbing, throbbing sounds.

It gets faster still, and louder.

Scat is able to keep up the noise, some sort of circular breathing method, it quickly becomes a wall of sound which echoes off the passage walls, small piles of loose debris topple, the sonic vibrations cause cascades of dirt to spill from the ceiling.

“I thought you were going to sin…” Jim starts.

“Cum krawlin fasta
obey yure Masta
yure lyfe berns fasta
obey yure Masta
MASTA.”

A farting drum roll and parp solo rocks the chamber.

“I…” Jim starts.

”Masta of Poppets I'm pullin yure stings
twistin yure mynd an smushin yure dreeems
Bungee buy me, yew carnt seek a ding
Jus kall me naym, `cos isle hare yew scram
MASTA
MASTA

Jus kall me naym, `cos isle hare yew scram
MASTA
MASTA.”

The last ‘MASTA’, brings a lump of stone crashing down from the ceiling, it lands six inches to the side of Jim, who doesn’t move a muscle, it would have crushed him.

Silence.

Apart from the hiss as showers of dirt shower down, cover the shocked statues of the Goodman Gang.

“Jerm?” Scat asks.
“Very…” Jim starts.
“VERY…” Cas adds.
“Good.” Jim finishes.
“Or rather, Bad.” Anya corrects.

“What’s it called?” Bec asks.
The others turn to stare at the Barbarian, he’s grinning, his hairs gone all lank, he’s sweating profusely; he also looks a little googly-eyed.

“It’s called ‘Masta of Poppets.’, did you like it?” Scat replies, and smiles back, hopeful.
“Yeah- it was…” Bec goes on a long mental journey in search of the right word, spots the huge stone on the ground, “Rocking.” Ah, that’s it.

“What’s a Poppet?” Newt enquires.
“Yew ar my luvvely.” Scat snakes a friendly tentacle around the Gnome and gives him a squeeze, Newt doesn’t look so sure.

“Right then. Good. Let’s get on.” Cas gets them back on task.
“Shall I…” Scat starts.
“Save your energy. I mean- later.” Jim winks at Scat.

In less than ten minutes the blockage is clear enough for the gang to head on through without too much fuss.

“You’ve been a big help Scat.” Jim pats the Otyugh.
Scat blushes, “Owwww.” He’s embarrassed.
“Right then, you should head back; remember you’re on guard duty, no slacking.” Jim pats the creature some more.

The Gang begin to filter through, into the passage beyond, Scat waving them off with all three of his tentacles flapping.

Next Turn: Coffin fit.

 

[HalfOrc HalfBiscuit]

That was brilliant ... and barking.

 

[Goonalan]

That was brilliant ... and barking.

Why thank you, and now some more...

Dungeon Crawl Classic #3
The Mysterious Tower
Level 3-5​

Turn 92: Coffin fit.

The passage winds on and into a much much larger area, a pair of sunrods arc into the room; it’s a 50-by-50 stone chamber with a number of interesting features. First, there are open passages exiting through the middle of the south and the west walls. Second, there is a statue in the centre of the room. It’s a granite-carved image of an old, blind crone hunched with age. Third, the walls are carved with scenes of mighty wizards and warriors kneeling before the poor and humble. Fourth, there are four plain wooden coffins, one in each corner of the room. Their tops are ajar. Finally, there are five skeletons lying on the floor, one in rotting red robes beside each of the coffins, while the fifth, complete with rusting adventuring equipment, rests in front of the statue.

“Meelkor again.” Cas warns and points to the statue.
“Odd looking place”, Anya adds, “don’t like the bit where the Wizards have to bow to him.”

Cas wanders in, Jim by his side, the Ranger crouches, examines the floor.

“There’s been a fight here, some time ago but…”

At that instant the four wooden coffins leap to their… bases, the two closest hop towards the Gang, their intentions are clear, the coffins warp and bend as they charge, and yet the Gang seem a little fazed by the situation.

“We’re about to be attacked by… coffins.” Jim finishes.
“Yesssss.” Newt agrees and scratches his chin.

The other two coffins hop towards the western exit passage, although there are no members of the Goodman Gang anywhere near there.

“This is all very odd.” Ala adds.
“Ah well- BUFFET, and all that.” Bec wades in.

Bec intercepts the first coffin, his greatsword smashes into the side of the thing, it does less damage than he thought it would, the coffin leaps at the Barbarian, tries to butt Bec in the face, it’s too slow. Jim arrives twirling his axe, but too slow, the coffin leaps back and out of the way.

Newt and Anya share a glance, they want nothing to do with this, Newt tumbles into the centre of the chamber, Anya dashes the same distance, the coffins hop past them and straight for the other, heavily armed members of the Gang.

“Odd.” Anya repeats.”
Newt shrugs.

Ala and Cas dodge forward to meet the second coffin, Ala’s longsword smashes into the side of the construct and bounces off, it takes all her skill just to keep the blade clutched in her hands. Cas menaces the coffin, which proves too quick for the Paladin, it dodges inside his sword swipe, and aims a hop-kick at Ala, the Priestess shuffles back in time.

The other two coffins leave Newt and Anya well alone, hop over to the western exit and then just stand there, if that’s the right word, guarding it.

“What the hell…” Newt starts.
“We’ll see.” Anya strides towards them, stops a little short, and reveals a wand.

“FLAME ON.”

And both coffins are alight.

But not moving.

Ala turns around to stare at Newt, the Gnome shrugs, “I dunno. This is easy. Do it again. Do it again.” He grins.

“It’s mine.” Jim yells and dances towards the coffin he and Bec are menacing, the coffin dances back, Jim nearly falls and has to duck back to avoid the things counter-attack.

SMASH

Bec’s greatsword passes just inches over Jim’s right shoulder, he’ll have nightmares about how close it came later on, the blade connects with the coffin and turns it into splinters. The Barbarian cannot alas get to the other coffin, Ala and Cas are blocking his path.

Jim dodges left past the Barbarian on his way to help the pair.

Anya giggles, looks down at her wand, then back up at the smouldering coffins.

“FLAME ON.”

She giggles some more as both of the constructs are engulfed in fire.

Neither of them move, content to stand and burn where they are.

“Easy.” Anya looks back again at Newt, eager to share her triumph, but the Gnome’s no longer watching her, she follows his gaze, at the same time Newt screams.

“SKELLIES. LOTS OF SKELLIES.”

And tumbles backwards into an empty corner of the chamber, comes up with his heavy mace in hand, as from the southern exit emerges a column of armed and armoured Skeletons.

There must be a dozen or so of the things.

Meanwhile the coffin confronting Cas and Ala lunges forward causing the Priestess to take evasive action, and just in time, she swings wildly and misses by a mile, but opens up the space for Cas to strike. The Paladin smashes his longsword into the coffin, crunches into the side of the thing, the result a few wooden shards fall away, all in all a lot less damage than he expected.

“BUFFET.”

Bec likes the odds, head down he charges past a gawping Anya into the Skeletons, in the blink of an eye two of them are smashed to smithereens, then it all goes wrong.

The Barbarian goes to strike again, steps on a wayward femur, which breaks, and loses his footing, Bec thumps to the ground. A pair of Skeletons take advantage of the situation, He blocks the first sword thrust, they’re wielding longswords, but is much too slow to prevent the second Skeleton’s attack which opens up a long gash on his upper right arm, blood pours from the wound.

Ala spots the Barbarian’s predicament disengages after a glance to Jim, who leaps in to prevent the coffin from getting to her.

The Priestess of Correllon marches to the centre of the chamber, unleashing her Holy Symbol as she goes.

“To Dust.” Ala shouts over the noise, then mutters a short prayer.

The effect is instantaneous.

WHOOOOOF

And all that’s left are the odd splinters of bone and a thick white powdery dust which twinkles in the pale light of the sunrods- all of the Skeletons are destroyed.

“All gone.” Newt giggles and puts his mace away and fetches out, then loads, his crossbow.

“Save the wand.” Jim shouts at Ala, and then strikes the coffin ahead of him as hard as he can, which has no affect. Cas however, once again, takes advantage- smashes the coffin facing Jim in its rear- more splinters of wood fly off. He’s whittling it down. The coffin menaces Jim, but the Ranger is too quick and leaps aside.

“Bec. Bec.”
Bec finally takes notice of Newt, the Gnome points at the two smouldering coffins still guarding the western exit.

Bec nods and lumbers over, smashes the first of the pair to firewood, then crunches his sword into the second, smashing a gaping hole in the construct, the coffin however fights on, not very well it has to be said, more splinters of wood fly off as its forced back by the lumbering Barbarian and collides with a wall.

Ala rushes over to help Cas and Jim, arrives sword drawn. Just in time to watch the coffin fail to land another blow on Jim, the Ranger rushes his attack and slices well wide. Which is just the opening Cas needs, he smashes the thing again, more splinters, however the coffin fights on.

Bec lines up his next shot, takes his time, the coffin has nowhere to run, it’s being backed into a corner.

CRASH

Bec gets his man, coffin rather, he stands there and grins, “Masta… Masta.” He mutters.

Ala joins the crowd menacing the last coffin, swings and connects, what should have been a devastating blow, it has little if any, effect. The coffin sees fit to attack Jim again, it’s much too slow, however the Rangers attack is right on target, and another chunk flies off. Once again Cas is in position- he scores another hit, yet more splinters escape the now ravaged box.

Bec lumbers over about to put an end to the final coffin monster.

“No, leave it.” Newt shouts across, which brings the Barbarian to a sudden stop, Bec looks over to the Rogue and Anya, the Wizard shakes her head, which is good enough for him.
“I’m taking bets- who’s going to land the killing blow, evens its Cas, three to one Ala, and ten to one Jim?”
Bec does the sums on his fingers; it takes a moment, “Ten gold on Jim.” He wanders over with his money in hand.
“Ten on Cas.” Anya states and reaches for her money.

The gaggle gathers to watch the titanic battle, Jim, Cas and Ala vs. the beat up coffin monster.

“Come on Cas.” Anya shouts, which causes the Paladin to momentarily pause and forget to attack.
“JIM. JIM. JIM.” Bec continues.
“Come on it’ll be the death of you.” Newt adds, “did you hear what I said… the death of you, it’s a coffin- get it.”
Bec shakes his head. “JIM. JIM. JIM.” He continues, which is very off putting.

Ala sees her opening, lances in with her longsword and connects, the blade thumps into the coffin- to no effect.

“Ooooooh.” Newt offers.
“Not her.” Anya yelps and then realises she’s said it out loud.

Jim shoves Cas aside, it seems his competitive spirit is getting the better of him, and swings his axe with all his might. The blade thunks into the coffin but leaves not a mark.

“JIM. JIM. Ohhh crap. Come on JIM.” Bec hollers.
“He doesn’t stand a chance, not man enough.” She’s said it out loud again, Anya hangs her head in shame.

“What’d’ya mean…” Jim starts up, “Ohhh” and then staggers backwards holding his broken nose, the first injury of the fracas to any member of the Goodman Gang.

“Do you need a wooden sword?” Newt shouts over, “perhaps that would do it.” The Gnome giggles.
“CAS. CAS. CAS.” Anya chants.

The Paladin dodges inside his wily opponent’s, ahem a large wooden coffin- mostly hacked to pieces, guard and delivers a terrible blow, and the coffin sheds a few more splinters of wood.

The three onlookers look disappointed, and a little bored with the proceedings.

“Come on.” Newt calls.
“Just finish it.” Anya shouts.
“JIM. JIM. JIM.” Bec chants.

Jim falls over.

Ala steps from the pack fumbles her sword, then grabs it again, and pokes it in the general direction of the construct.

POP

The back of the coffin flies out, it collapses.

Newt collects his money.

“Thank you, come again.”

“I don’t think that helped proceedings.” Cas looks stern at Newt.
“No, probably not.” Newt wanders off ignoring the Paladin.

“Right then, search this place”, Jim states and gets up of the floor.

And what a haul.

Five minutes later the group gather, Anya’s Detect Magic spell reveals that the Warriors Skeleton near the statue was carrying a magic shortsword and shield.

“I don’t want it.” Bec states again.
Anya is attempting to get the Barbarian to take the shortsword.
“I’ve got my dagger.” Bec shows her his magic dagger, it catches the light, shines.
“But this will do more damage.” Anya states.
Bec shakes his head and wanders off.
“Odd.” The Wizard whispers.
Cas wanders over and takes the magic shield, it looks good on him.

Also in the Skeleton’s backpack is a rolled up parchment, Anya takes a look, it seems to be a picture of a sword, a wooden sword, there’s also some snippets of writing, she reads aloud-

“’Humility is power’, unlikely.”

“’Those who would kneel before the meek would see the meek kneel before them.’ I don’t get it.”
“I think they’re sayings, words of wisdom, it sounds like Meelkor again.” Cas adds.

“’With this blade should you lead the meek.’And…”
“’Sword? Axe?’, can’t read the rest of that, and…”
“’The legacy of Knight…’, something.”
“’-Was he truly corrupt’, something, ‘The scrolls say he was,’ something, oh I get it- ‘the legends don’t.’ This is just confusing.”
“’Was his the sword of the meek?’ There’s the meek again, they get everywhere, one more…”
“’Finally found the tomb. Tomorrow I enter-‘, the tomb, that sounds like fun. Aren’t we supposed to be here to rescue the Wizard Balthazhar? This sounds like something completely different, what’s going on here?” Anya concludes.

“Bingo. Damn.” The second word delivered in a whisper.

The Goodman Gang look round to stare at Newt, he’s delving about in a space in the stone floor recently occupied by one of the coffins, he has a bag in his hand, spilling from it are a cascade of gold coins.

There are three other recesses, all of them with bags of coin, one of which is full of platinum coins.

“Must be over a thousand gold here.” Newt grins, “see Lord- TRESH-URR.”
Cas sulks a little, “that’s not the point Newt...”
“The south passage let’s see where the Skeletons came from.”

Jim leads them off before the argument can begin.

Next Turn: CLUUUUUUUUNK-CLICK.

 

[Goonalan]

Dungeon Crawl Classic #3
The Mysterious Tower
Level 3-5​

Turn 93: CLUUUUUUUUNK-CLICK.

The Gang trudge on and into a long 30-by-50 room lined with simple wooden coffins; all of them have been opened from the inside. There are ten in all, five along each wall. Aside from dust and mildew, there is nothing else here.

“I hope they don’t get up, we could be here for hours.” Newt remarks and stares in turn at Ala, Jim and finally Cas- he winks, then scurries off to search the chamber.

The others except for Jim and Cas fan out and help the Rogue.

Several minutes later they conclude that there’s nothing to be found.

“Right…” Cas starts.
“Let’s see what them coffin’s were guarding.” Jim finishes and heads off, back to the larger chamber with the statue of Meelkor and unanimated Skeletons in, then west down another passage.

The long hallway is lined with stone pillars, all of them carved into the shape of old, blind crones kneeling and supporting other crones on their backs.

“Weird.” Anya comments.

After a brief search they press on, the passage continues west, the Gang, lead by Jim, leaves the pillared hallway and passes through another arch, which again is carved with images of kneeling creatures. Into a small room with an alcove set into the middle of the western wall. In the alcove is a statue of an elderly blind man, stooped and crippled.

“Meelkor.” Cas states the voice of authority.

There are no obvious exits.

“There’s a door.” Newt states, the others look around, it’s not obvious where the door is.
“Where?” Ala asks.
“Behind the statue.” Newt remarks and then tuts loudly for good measure.
“Would you mind taking a look then Newt.” Jim asks, while Ala growls.
“You’re the boss.” Newt smirks at Cas then heads over, behind the statue of Meelkor.

“It’s not trap- CLICK. What was that?” Newt looks around.

WHOOOSH

The blade passes a good eight inches over his head.

Newt looks up, not sure what just happened, there’s a huge scythe embedded in the wall above him and to his right.

“Traps disarmed.” Newt calls back, and chuckles.

VWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Behind the Gnome the statue sinks into the ground.

The Gnome turns to watch.

Grins.

“That’s clever.”

THUNK

Newt leaps round; the noise came from behind him.

“Oh Pelor scared the crap out of me.”

Nothing’s changed, just an empty alcove ahead of him.

“He-he.” Newt giggles and places the palm of his hand over his thumping heart.

CLUUUUUUUUNK-CLICK.

The curved stone disappears into a recess beneath it, in an instant, darkness spills out from the now open secret door and Newt is suddenly face to face with a leathery-looking corpse-like creature. Its wild eyes burn with malevolence as it hisses, “Now I am the master!”

“Masta.” Bec whispers, he can’t resist it.

The Wight reaches out and rakes one clawed hand across Newt’s face.

The Gnome shrinks, stumbles backwards, the creature claws again but Newt is out of reach, and gibbering.

“The Master. The Master. The Master.” Over and over again, the Gnome thumps into a wall and squats down, looks away, presses his face as hard as he can into the cold stone wall- inside a darkness dwells, swells, and eats him alive.

Next Turn: Stop Wight Now.

 

[Goonalan]

Dungeon Crawl Classic #3
The Mysterious Tower
Level 3-5​

Turn 94: Stop Wight Now.

“For Pelor.” Cas is lightning fast, he leaps into the fray, slashes wildly opening up a six inch gash on the Wight’s side, shadow essence spews from the wound, wreathing the creature. Then just as swiftly he leaps out of the way again. The Wight swipes but is much too slow.

“MASTA MASTA.”

Bec steps in, the Wight claws at the Barbarian’s armour but cannot get through his defences, however.

SLICE

Bec cuts down almost slicing the Wight in two, top to bottom, bits of the creature’s skin slough off or peel away, much more of its shadow essence escapes.

Ala leans in, Holy Symbol of Correllon in hand, she mutters prayers, and presents the Symbol again.

The Wight doesn’t blink an eye, ignores her, more concerned with the lumbering Barbarian that’s intent on cutting it in half.

All to no avail.

Bec’s second stroke is a close replica of the first, this time the cut is clean, the Wight is split asunder, the two halves flop to the floor, squirm for a moment, and then are gone, just a cloud of jet black vapour that quickly disperses.

“You ok?” Jim drags Newts face away from the wall.
“Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeP.” Newt shivers.

Ala lights up another sunrod and strides into the recess, there’s lots of stuff in there- in fact a whole set of equipment for a Knight, a Warrior, all of it in a jumble at the base of a much scratched and scared coffin- open.

One Detect Magic spell later and…

“You’re not going to believe this…”

Ala strides from the recess, a wooden sword, like in the scroll they found earlier in her hands, “it’s magic.” She states, to looks of astonishment.
“The Sword of the Meek… Cas.” Anya offers.
Cas is over to the blade in an instant, blade may be stretching the truth somewhat, the sword is constructed from two pieces of wood, hardly shaped at all, although both are splintered in places, one piece of wood for the blade, the other for the cross guard, all that’s keeping them together is what looks, and feels, like a knotted dirty rag.

“It feels…” Cas takes the blade, makes a few exploratory swishes. “It feels, great.”
“Here.” The Paladin, without looking, he can’t take his eyes off the blade, passes his magical longsword to Bec.
“Don’t want it- have dagger.” Bec refuses the blade.
“This is better.” Cas nudges the Barbarian with the pommel of his now former longsword, “Take it.” He’s still admiring the blade.
SLAP.
Bec knocks the longsword out of the Paladin’s grip, it skitters onto the stone floor.
“Don’t Want IT. DAG-GUH.” Bec strides off.

Which gets everyones attention.

“There’s something about that dagger.” Ala states.
“Right.” Anya concurs, the two share a look.

“Let’s get back- we’ve done enough for today. We need to get Newt rested- hot soup, that’s what you need my friend.” Jim states, and leads them back the way they came, scooping up Newt on the way.

The Gnome is shivering, his teeth chattering in the Ranger’s arms. They hurry.

Ala grabs what looks to be a solid gold Breastplate from the recently uncovered stash, figuring she’ll give it to Newt to sell, when he comes to his senses. That’ll cheer him up.

Ten minutes later and they’re back with Scat in the first chamber they explored, the soup is on, Newt’s wrapped in three blankets, sleeping- actually shivering and passing in and out of consciousness would be a better description of his situation.

Scat is whistling a lullaby to the squirming Gnome.

“Masta. Masta.” Scat whistles and whispers at the same time, it’s a neat trick.

“The Wight stole part of his essence, he must weather the storm tonight- he may be better in the morning, there’s nothing I… we, can do, he needs food and sleep… He’s strong Cas, he’ll be ok, you’ll see- in the morning.” Ala smiles at Cas, the Paladin looks worried, his new sword forgotten for the moment- Newt looks really ill, at death’s door. Ala stands on tip-toes, reaches up and kisses Cas on the lips.
“Get some rest yourself. He’ll be back to normal, to Newt, in the morning.” Ala wanders off to tend to the Gnome.

Anya watches the Priestess depart. “Goody-two-shoes”, she whispers.

They eat.

They rest.

They sleep.

And sometime in the night Newt awakes, all alone in the dark.

He blinks, there’s a fire going, he looks left, on the other side of the fire sits Scat, the Otyugh continues to fart and parp oblivious, its back to the Gnome.

Newt grins.

A tentacle snakes out behind Scat, grabs a hunk of wood, from one of the smashed coffins, puts it on the fire.

The stray snakes tentacle snakes back, then suddenly stops, turns to point towards Newt, motions left, then right, stops again, and then waves at the Rogue.

Newt sleeps.

Next Turn: Stag Party.