The Hive is (realy) Dead! Long Live the Hive Mind!

[Aurora]

My parents would have been happy I brought a girl home they didn't care if she was good for me or not

All of my boyfriends' parents have loved me except for Jeremy's. He says (we're still friends) it's because he was ready to propose and marry me at 18 and his parents got married at 18, and didn't want him to do the same thing. Of course, I would have said no and he knows it. At 18, I had decided I was never getting married. He was quite surprised after us being out of touch for awhile to find that I was married. Then later even more surprised when he found out I had a kid. (another thing I had said I never wanted) But things change, it's the one thing you can count on.

 

[Aeson]

That's funny. Sad but funny. Some women marry men like their fathers. It sounds like your one of the lucky ones with Dshai.

 

[Angel Tarragon]

That's funny. Sad but funny. Some women marry men like their fathers.

QFT. My sister married a very negative person, who is almost exactly like my dad in just about every way. They only married because he got my sister pregnant. I guess she didn't want her son to grow up w/o a father.

 

[Aurora]

Hmm ... you DID have a pretty protective upbringing, didn't you? In some ways that could be a pain, in others (usually upon reflection with many I know) a real blessing.

My upbringing was VERY ... erm ... permissive, but curiously with it I did not really go "wild" until my last two years in high school, and even then I was not terribly so by contemporary "standards".

I think there has to be a happy medium in there somewhere. Teaching your kids right and wrong but when they get to a certain age trusting them to make the right decision. If you make all their decisions for them, when they are thrust into the real world, they may not have the ability to decide for themselves. Dhai's upbringing was very "permissive" as well, but because he was allowed to do things his was more of a "Why drink a beer, when a coke tastes better" Ya know. Where he lived in Europe, kids were allowed to drink so when he moved back to the states (military family) his sophmore year of HS and people said "woohoo, let's get drunk", his reaction was "why?" Sometimes making something out to be this "unholy evil thing" just makes someone want to do it more. Depends on the personality I guess. It only took about 10 months of rebelling (and my boyfriend going psycho) to realize that this wasn't me. I wasn't that person. So, I moved away from it all (and away from him).

 

[Aeson]

QFT. My sister married a very negative person, who is almost exactly like my dad in just about every way. They only married because he got my sister pregnant. I guess she didn't want her son to grow up w/o a father.

Many get married because of a pregnancy. It's not the best idea. You need more of a reason than that. Maybe things will work out for them. I assume this is the nephew you keep going on and on about.

 

[Aeson]

I think there has to be a happy medium in there somewhere. Teaching your kids right and wrong but when they get to a certain age trusting them to make the right decision. If you make all their decisions for them, when they are thrust into the real world, they may not have the ability to decide for themselves. Dhai's upbringing was very "permissive" as well, but because he was allowed to do things his was more of a "Why drink a beer, when a coke tastes better" Ya know. Where he lived in Europe, kids were allowed to drink so when he moved back to the states (military family) his sophmore year of HS and people said "woohoo, let's get drunk", his reaction was "why?" Sometimes making something out to be this "unholy evil thing" just makes someone want to do it more. Depends on the personality I guess. It only took about 10 months of rebelling (and my boyfriend going psycho) to realize that this wasn't me. I wasn't that person. So, I moved away from it all (and away from him).

Sometimes you have to experience it for yourself before you learn the lesson.

 

[Aurora]

I do have to say though that I don't blame my dad for being protective. I think thay any guy whose girlfriend was murdered when he was 16 and then later loses his wife at 30, might be protective of the things in his life that he loves.

 

[Aeson]

When it's slow I tend to talk to myself. I was thinking a lot of guys when the see a hot girl say "I'd do her." I came up with a reply. "Dude, you'd do anything that would do you."

 

[Aeson]

I do have to say though that I don't blame my dad for being protective. I think thay any guy whose girlfriend was murdered when he was 16 and then later loses his wife at 30, might be protective of the things in his life that he loves.

Good point. I think that would have a big effect on his life. Was he protective of only the women in his life or everyone?

 

[Mycanid]

I think there has to be a happy medium in there somewhere. Teaching your kids right and wrong but when they get to a certain age trusting them to make the right decision. If you make all their decisions for them, when they are thrust into the real world, they may not have the ability to decide for themselves. Dhai's upbringing was very "permissive" as well, but because he was allowed to do things his was more of a "Why drink a beer, when a coke tastes better" Ya know. Where he lived in Europe, kids were allowed to drink so when he moved back to the states (military family) his sophmore year of HS and people said "woohoo, let's get drunk", his reaction was "why?" Sometimes making something out to be this "unholy evil thing" just makes someone want to do it more. Depends on the personality I guess. It only took about 10 months of rebelling (and my boyfriend going psycho) to realize that this wasn't me. I wasn't that person. So, I moved away from it all (and away from him).

True ... I can see where you are coming from. I was not raised in Europe, of course ... upstate New York instead ... I got drunk once in my life, just to try it out. Ever since, to this day, I cannot understand the "appeal" of it. Or rather, I sorta can ... but it seems to me a far less "interesting" means of "escapism". Hmm.

My parents' permissiveness with me was based partly on fear, believe it or not. They were into astrology at the time and had a star chart drawn up of me. The fella who drew it up gave a "reading" of it that scared them quite a bit at the time, but the advice he gave them (curiously) WORKED in the long run ... at least both in my and their opinions. They were afraid to "crack down" on me, like they did on my other two brothers. Go figure, eh?