[The Le Games] Unorthodox Orthodox: Double Trouble

[TheLe]

For release 4/1/2007

[imager]http://www.thelegames.com/images_covers/tn/UnorthodoxOrthodox2_tn200.png[/imager] There are creatures out there so dangerous, so vile, that even the mighty Paladin panics when he hears their name. Two of these creatures are presented here in Unorthodox Orthodox: Double Trouble! And it cheaper than a PS3!

Available now at the Enworld Rpgnow site! Best of all, it's just $.50!

This product contains two new ten-level prestige classes to bring your GM to his knees. This massive book is 16 pages, which includes one page with the author babbling, three pages of OGL that you will never read, and lots of useless pictures to increase the final page count and price.

Inside you will find:
-Coupons: Anyone foolish enough to pay for this book deserves a little kick back. Check out page one for some fantastic coupons.

-The Lunch Lady: Armed with her Personal Ladle and a totally disgusting mole, the Lunch Lady will smite you with her bad cooking

-The White Trash Redneck: Words like "bath" and "library" may confuse the Redneck, but be careful when he enters a Redneck Rage!

-New Feats: Seven New feats, including Cleavage, Rapid Scotts, Stunning Mitts, and more!

-Advertisements: Want to see what else we are producing? We hope you enjoy our advertisements as much as we enjoyed making them. You can take that any way you want.

Available now at the Enworld Rpgnow site!

Don't forget to leave feedback as a warning to others!

The Le Games - We Enhance Worlds

 

[xmanii]

Beware of Grandma in the book!

 

[Bardsandsages]

Le, you have issues, my friend. Serious, deep-rooted issues. Fortunately, you have learned to use these issues for the amusement of others.

Does the Lunch Lady have the terrible "Hair Net of Horrors"? That would be just too much to throw at a party. Really...

 

[TheLe]

Le, you have issues, my friend. Serious, deep-rooted issues.

You're welcome.

Fortunately, you have learned to use these issues for the amusement of others.

What can I say? It's a gift... and a curse. I dedicate this book to all those haters out there who think I can't bring them down to my level.

Does the Lunch Lady have the terrible "Hair Net of Horrors"? That would be just too much to throw at a party. Really...

Not a "Hair Net of Horrors" I am afraid. But I did give her a mole smite:
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Mole Smite (Su): The Lunch Lady’s mole is connected to her in more ways than one. At 6th level, she may use her Personal Ladle to attempt a Mole Smite with one normal melee attack, adding a bonus to her attack roll equal to the size of her mole (in centimeters). On a successful strike, a portion of the recipient’s soul becomes trapped within the mole. For every 10 souls collected this way, the Lunch Lady gains one point to her maximum hit points (which may be lost later if she loses one or more of the mole souls). She may attempt Mole Smite five times per day.

Hair Net: At 7th level, the Lunch Lady must construct her own Hair Net. She must travel to the far reaches of the Spider Queen realm and collect Spider Silk to construct it. Henceforth she will always wear the Hair Net, as it is a defining attribute of all Lunch Ladies. Note that this Hair Net will never actually stop her hair from falling into the food she cooks.
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Personally I think the White Trash Redneck was a heck of a lot more fun to write. Being an Asian American, I've seen a good deal of racism over the years, including a run in with one drunken white racist just two weeks ago at a grocery store.

I am happy to finally give the Redneck his due:
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Redneck Feats: At 5th level, and each Redneck level thereafter, the Redneck gains a feat for free, even if he does not normally qualify for it. He must choose from the Redneck feats listed here: Drink Grain Alcohol, Fix Mullet, Greater Fix Mullet, Improved Fix Mullet, Super Improved Fix Mullet, Craft(circular family tree),Grill some Spam, Lend Money to Sister/Aunt, Perform(on Jerry Springer),Drop Kids Off at Daycare so You Can Go to the Prom, Craft (cloth gas cap), Pee in empty Beer Can, Pee in not-so-empty Beer Can, Make Love to Wife’s Beer Belly, Refer to people as “hey guy”, craft (tattoo), Purchase gift for Mom/sister/girlfriend (only one present required), Craft (confederate money), Make Change with Offering Plate at Church, Fondly Remember your Sixth Grade as your “senior year”, Set Parking Brakes in Your House Before Going to Bed at Night, Craft (Willie Nelson Painting), and Apply Ass-Crack-Spackle.
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Unorthodox Orthodox: Double Trouble is available now at Rpgnow.com

`Le

 

[TheLe]

Unorthodox Orthodox: Double Trouble is available now at DriveThruRpg!

~The Le Games, We Enhance Worlds

 

[Nuclear Platypus]

Mole Smite (Su): The Lunch Lady’s mole is connected to her in more ways than one. At 6th level, she may use her Personal Ladle to attempt a Mole Smite with one normal melee attack, adding a bonus to her attack roll equal to the size of her mole (in centimeters). On a successful strike, a portion of the recipient’s soul becomes trapped within the mole. For every 10 souls collected this way, the Lunch Lady gains one point to her maximum hit points (which may be lost later if she loses one or more of the mole souls). She may attempt Mole Smite five times per day.

Holey moley!

I sense a tremor within the Force. It was as if dozens of "You might be a redneck if..." jokes were told at once. But no "Crush beer can on forehead" Feat or some sort of Concentration skill test when a Redneck sees a can of frozen fruit juice?

 

[FATDRAGONGAMES]

Just got done reading my copy-excellent and twisted!

 

[TheLe]

Just got done reading my copy-excellent and twisted!

Thanks, I try. Next I am going to try and write a College Student class -- complete with drunken feats and frat boy class skills.

`Le

 

[TheLe]

#1 - #1 - #1 - #1 - #1 - #1 - #1 - #1 - #1 - #1 - #1

[imager]http://www.thelegames.com/images_covers/tn/UnorthodoxOrthodox2_tn200.png[/imager]Unorthodox Orthodox: Double Trouble is #1 at Rpgnow.com! It's true! This amazing book has held on to the #1 spot since April 1st, and we don't expect it to lose the spot anytime soon!

Still not convinced? Check out the free demo!

Also coming soon from The Le Games (with considerably less cleavage):
-17 Archer Feats
-Personal Artifacts
-Neo Druids: The Savage Heart
-Pirate Booty!
-Unorthodox Wizards
-Pimp My Paladin
-17 Ranger Feats
-Starship Evolution! (in conjunction with Fat Dragon Games)


The Le Games - We Enhance Worlds

 

[Angel Tarragon]

Now TheLes' causing all sorts of trouble!