The Lich: Pros And Cons

[Heathen72]

Pro: Your soul is hidden and as long as your soul is safe, you cannot die. It is hidden separate from your body inside a needle, which is in an egg, which is in a duck, which is in a hare, which is in an iron chest, which is buried under a green oak tree, which is on an island in the middle of the ocean. If the chest is dug up and opened, the hare will bolt away. If it is killed, the duck will emerge and try to fly off.

Con: Anyone possessing the egg has you in their power, and all the above information was revealed in a wikileak.

 

[Mercurius]

Pro: You can have sex if you cast Mordenkainen's Mighty Member
Con: The dating pool of potential sexual partners is severely limited, and limited to demonesses, mythological creatures, and corpses (animated or not)

Pro: You save money on skin care products
Con: Chronic dehydration

Pro: No more bad hair days
Con: Few takers via your Match.com profile

Pro: You make everyone around you look beautiful
Con: You get tired of people saying "What's that smell?" when you're in the room

Pro: People love to take you on camping trips as back-up jerky
Con: Your ontological status as back-up jerky

 

[Aloïsius]

Pro : you can have sex, eat food, drink wine, simply by casting "magic jar".
Con: a lich who possess a hamster can't cast spells.

 

[nedjer]

I'm off on this one regardless. There are now lady lichs aka Lichesses. They've snappy dagger fingers and spines, spit a variety of unpleasant undead bugs, bleed poison, wash in elves' blood and feed on fresh centaur hearts. Their touch is enchanting, but aging; they've a fondness for fancy millinery and go to great lengths to mask their appearance and seduce elves and centaurs.

I may be the only one in the room here, but I'm running this babe tomorrow

 

[GreyLord]

I don't know, I think a Lich would know Polymorph spells.

A simple spell and you can be whatever you want.

With that...

Pro: Spell lasts longer then most Spellcasters

Con: That girl Lich you may be dating...might be a guy.

PS: (of course that applies to any wizard that could cast the spells too...)

 

[Richards]

But aren't undead generally immune to polymorphing?

Johnathan

 

[TheAuldGrump]

Pro: You no longer need coffee to get you started in the morning.
Con: You still want the d---ed coffee.

Pro: You have a name that inspires fear in all the nations of the world.
Con: You still end up buying four cases of Thin Mints from the Girl Scouts every year.

Pro: You have grown far past the petty magics of the mortal sphere.
Con: Nobody wants to see you pull a rabbit out of your hat any more.

(Miniature by RAFM)

Pro: You play complex and subtle games that mortals will never understand.
Con: Kolchoi wants to use his own deck of cards for the Friday poker games.

The Auld Grump, where's that d---ed coffee?!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Pro: you have all the time you need to delve into the deepest arcane secrets of the universe

Con: you find yourself mystified by the trivialities of popular culture...CURSES BE UPON THE LOHAN!

 

[Thunderfoot]

Pro: you have all the time you need to delve into the deepest arcane secrets of the universe

Con: you find yourself mystified by the trivialities of popular culture...CURSES BE UPON THE LOHAN!

COROLLARY:
Pro: You have an infinite time line to read the most important works of history.
Con: You just can't get enough of Teen Beat, People and Vogue

 

[Ulrick]

Pro: Liches have never "sparkled" in the sun, like vampires.
Con: You'll never have a decent tan again.

Pro: You can pass for the ultimate skinny angsty emo-goth type.
Con: You can't cry.

Pro: When you grow powerful enough, you can go back in time and see history as its made.
Con: The History Channel doesn't capture the "smell" of the past.

Pro: You can pass for a leper in Medieval Europe
Con: Even lepers run away from you.

Pro: You can go back in time and stop George Lucas from making the prequels.
Con: See what happened to Patton Oswalt.