The "That's Unrealistic!" Retort Compendium

[Hussar]

I have to admit, size is one thing that has always bothered my "realism radar". A halfling using a dagger just can't hurt a huge creature, no matter how skilled he is. It's not a question of knowing the right techniques or whatnot, it's pretty simple physics. A five inch knife is not going to hurt a dinosaur.

But, by and large, this is just one of those things you swallow and move on. If I wanted realism, I wouldn't play D&D.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

It's not a question of knowing the right techniques or whatnot, it's pretty simple physics. A five inch knife is not going to hurt a dinosaur.

Ah, but it DOES depend on things like technique: close within it's effective reach and you have time to carve...and a 5" blade will put out a T-Rex's eye as well as a bullet from an elephant gun.

And then there's the great equalizer: poison. Coat that blade with a neurotoxin from something like a funnelweb spider, blue ringed octopus or a box jelly and the fight may be over with just a scratch.

Besides, that dagger is just about the same size as the main talon of a velociraptor. Put enough force behind it and it will puncture Dino hide.

And that's without magic.

 

[El Mahdi]

I have to admit, size is one thing that has always bothered my "realism radar". A halfling using a dagger just can't hurt a huge creature, no matter how skilled he is. It's not a question of knowing the right techniques or whatnot, it's pretty simple physics. A five inch knife is not going to hurt a dinosaur.

But, by and large, this is just one of those things you swallow and move on. If I wanted realism, I wouldn't play D&D.

To me it depends upon what one means by "hurt". If it's actually losing Hit Points or possibly contributing to death, I'd agree. If we're talking about causing a debilitating condition, slowing them down, getting their attention, scaring them off, etc. - then I'd say the 5" dagger still has a chance. Think about it in scale: stick a half inch piece of metal into the palm of your hand (or an eye, like Danny pointed out), and I can guarantee it's going to have on effect and definitely "hurt" like hell. But yeah, for realism I think you should at least be using polearms.

 

[ProfessorCirno]

I have to admit, size is one thing that has always bothered my "realism radar". A halfling using a dagger just can't hurt a huge creature, no matter how skilled he is. It's not a question of knowing the right techniques or whatnot, it's pretty simple physics. A five inch knife is not going to hurt a dinosaur.

But, by and large, this is just one of those things you swallow and move on. If I wanted realism, I wouldn't play D&D.

David and Goliath ;p

Beyond that, regardless of your size, everything has weak points, and a knife there will do a lot of damage. It's why I never understood the whole "You can't sneak attack undead/constructs, it doesn't have a weak point!" Everything has a spine

Also? Can we not talk about wether or not violence is the proper course of action regarding bullying unless we're qualified to do so? It's a really, really sticky subject, and it's horrible to treat it as black and white "Oh just punch back."

Another thing that annoys me: "You can't intimidate, you're too short/small/your strength is too low." Intimidation isn't linked to strength for a reason. As to the idea that short people can't intimidate, or you need physical strength: Ever see Goodfellas? Joe Pesci isn't a tall guy. Al Pacino was notably shorter then most of the other actors he performed with - he wore lifts in Scarface. And yet I gurantee either of those men could make you wet yourself.

 

[I'm A Banana]

I have to admit, size is one thing that has always bothered my "realism radar". A halfling using a dagger just can't hurt a huge creature, no matter how skilled he is. It's not a question of knowing the right techniques or whatnot, it's pretty simple physics. A five inch knife is not going to hurt a dinosaur.

FWIW, that's part of why I'm a big fan of skill-based combats with Really Big Monsters.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

It's why I never understood the whole "You can't sneak attack undead/constructs, it doesn't have a weak point!" Everything has a spine

Despite having spines, bones, joints, and sometimes organs, the undead do not typically have true weak spots. Their forms are not held together or animated by muscle & sinew, but magic. You could dip some undead in acid, destroying all their flesh and it wouldn't slow them down; some would even have it reappear. Their organs- if they have any- are essentially non-functional, so stabbing them makes no difference. Even the legendary heart of the vampire is not so much a vital organ as the anchor of some kind of unholy magic- it is disupted not from any old stab, but only by a blow delivered by a wooden stake. In some legends, the wood had to be of a specific kind, typically ash, hawthorn or oak. That's not a vital organ, that's disrupting magic.

Constructs vary a bit too, but like undead, most have no true vital spots. With the exception of the flesh variety, golems have no joints to strike- they are constructed as non-articulated statuary. Their limbs bend only and entirely through magic. They have no skeleton, no musculature, no organs.

Clockwork critters may actually have vital spots- they do at least have joints- but beyond that, they are probably built with many redundancies. Then there's still that animated by magic issue. Is the magic merely a power source that substitutes for the hand and winding key? Or is the frame of the clockwork being akin to the body of an undead creature, the physical manifestation and receptacle for powerful magics which must disrupted before physical attacks have any meaningful effect?

 

[fanboy2000]

I have to admit, size is one thing that has always bothered my "realism radar". A halfling using a dagger just can't hurt a huge creature, no matter how skilled he is. It's not a question of knowing the right techniques or whatnot, it's pretty simple physics. A five inch knife is not going to hurt a dinosaur.

What makes you think that? You say it's physics, but really, we're talking about biology.

Take an elephant. Elephant's have incredibly think skin, about 1" think. Plunge a 5" dagger in, and you have 4" of penetration beyond the skin. Don't forget that a large animal means large organs.

To me, saying something like "small creatures can't defeat a huge creatures with daggers" sounds more unrealistic. As though there are no circumstances that would allow it. And even if there are circumstances, they're so remote that they can't be repeated by skilled and powerful small creatures.

But, by and large, this is just one of those things you swallow and move on. If I wanted realism, I wouldn't play D&D.

Understandable, but it seems to me that this thread is about dispelling claims of "unrealism" by people who make intuitive, but erroneous, conclusions about the world. Reality is often counter-intuitive.

Oscar Wiled once said "Man can believe the impossible, but man can never believe the improbable." I think a lot of DMs fall into this trap, confusing improbable with impossible. In addition to the oft discussed "you can't do that" there's the "oooookay, a guess you can roll it" whenever a player wants to use a skill that they don't have a high bonus in.

Of course, I see the reverse in players. Because they have a low bonus, they don't ever want to use it. To the point were it never occurs to them to use the skill, even when it's the most appropriate thing to do.

 

[Hussar]

Heh, I didn't say I was right. Just that it's something that pings my "realism radar"

I look at it like this. To a giant, a halfling's dagger is about the relative size of a pin is you you. A big pin, sure, but still a pin. Imagine a three year old attacking you with a pin and that's the relative size difference of a halfing attacking a huge giant with a dagger.

Sure, getting stuck with a pin repeatedly would hurt, but, it's hardly life threatening.

 

[Jon_Dahl]

There is a big difference between a big guy and a giant. At certain point it really does get (almost) impossible, just as Hussar mentioned about a halfling dagger and a huge opponent. If your opponent is one foot taller school bully, closing in and finishing the fight quickly is most likely the best idea (like Danny and Janx previously pointed out).

However, if your opponent is so huge that you can't even reach it's face and simply the weight alone can kill you, it gets more complicated.

Just a bit of info, unless you noticed: In my video the size-difference is only 38 centimeters and still it looks like a "man vs. giant"-fight. Imagine an ogre...

 

[fanboy2000]

Heh, I didn't say I was right. Just that it's something that pings my "realism radar"

Good point. My realism radar goes off at weird things to.

I look at it like this. To a giant, a halfling's dagger is about the relative size of a pin is you you. A big pin, sure, but still a pin. Imagine a three year old attacking you with a pin and that's the relative size difference of a halfing attacking a huge giant with a dagger.

Maybe in size, but a dagger is designed not just to pierce, but to cut and slash.

Sure, getting stuck with a pin repeatedly would hurt, but, it's hardly life threatening.

Depends on where you put the pin. But lets say we keep the size, but flatten it so it's more dagger like, and now some crazy guy is trying to cut me open with it. I try to swat him away, but he keeps dodging my blows and when he stabs me, he literally attempts to rip me a new one. Something tells me my life could very well be threatened.

Consider a dog. Pit Bulls a small. If one comes after me, I'm not sure I'm surviving.