The Thread In Which We Rant

[Henry]

Dear Explorers Guide to Wildemount,

HURRY THE UP AND GET HERE ALREADY!!!!

 

[Henry]

Or worse... willing voyeurs...

Some people need to learn the meaning of "Fade to Black."

...or “X” cards...

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Some people need to learn the meaning of "Fade to Black."

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Dear Self: You've been gaming with largely the same group for 7+ years. Why do you keep expecting them to wake up one morning and adopt your own roleplaying preferences? The powergamer is always going to be the powergamer, the special snowflake player is still going to be the special snowflake player. Stop trying to force the group to conform to your wishes and just enjoy the process you have with people who are your very good friends!

That said . . . .

Dear Special Snowflake Player: Stop. Just . . . stop. We get it, you can't possibly be expected to keep the fun of the group in mind when creating your character. You're just not emotionally equipped to handle being "just another big awesome hero." It's not enough to have the chance to play a unique individual in a dramatic, fictional world with an interesting backstory.

Oh no, you have to REALLY be SPEEEECIAL.

You have to have a unique cloak that makes you look EVEN MORE AWESOME than anyone else with a cloak. You have to have a magic weapon that doesn't just make you better at stabbing, you have to be better at stabbing AND your sword has to have a mysterious skull on the pommel that has glowing eyes. Oh, and of course, the glowing pommel eyes should definitely give you an automatic +4 to all intimidate rolls, because AWESOME, RIGHT??? You couldn't possibly just be expected to be a regular 'ole elf. Oh no, you have to be an elf from the Mysterious Eastern Mystic Elflands, with unknown ninja powers.

Apologies, special snowflake player, it's not our fault you were never allowed to feel special enough as a kid. But do you have to make up for lost time now by torturing our gaming group?

I...am...SNOWFLAKEICUS!!!

(In my defense, I’ve played my share of stereotypical D&D PCs in the past 40+ years. My current designs are definitely more unusual and esoteric, but I do try to take the campaign and party into account.)

 

[Lanefan]

Dear DM:

For the love of Zeus give us adventurers some freakin' downtime now and then - and then let us do what we want with it! (and yes, as a DM I'm as guilty as any of failure on this...)

Dear players:

Argue in character all you want. Kill each other in character, for all I care. But keep it in character, and laugh about it as players!

Dear WotC:

When are you ever going to accept the fact that like it or not you're the custodians of the game from 0e (1974) all the way up to 5e and beyond, including all the associated history*, and bloody well support 'em all with all-edition two-way conversion guides!

* - including the first however-many years of GenCon.

 

[Jacob Lewis]

I can't explain why I am having trouble resisting this thread. Maybe it's therapeutic...

Dear Online Forum Poster: You are not a representative of "we", "most", "all", "many", "everyone", "nobody", or the "majority" in any discussion here. Speak for yourself, or perhaps your game groups if they consent. Your ideas and opinions would be more valid if you presented them this way rather than insisting you know what everyone else thinks or feels. There are a lot more ideas and opinions out there than you think outside your bubble of reality.

(Also, Dear Internet: Stop trying to convince people that a handful of random, outspoken voices constitutes bigger problems or controversies than reality. Hivemind mentality is never a good idea for us humans.)

Dear 5th Edition: Thanks, but no thanks. I appreciate what you're doing, but nothing you do excites or interests me the way any of your predecessors once did, and that's a shame. At least it's nice to run games for new players who aren't jaded or bringing baggage from previous editions, but otherwise, you're very dull. Except for your Tomb of Annihilation.

 

[jasper]

Dear Magic Players, " Can you keep it down. And quick stealing my players when you having a tourney." See thankful.

 

[Eltab]

Dear Online Forum Poster: You are not a representative of "we", "most", "all", "many", "everyone", "nobody", or the "majority" in any discussion here. Speak for yourself ...

Who are you trying to kid? I am the Center Of The Universe, and public opinion revolves around me!
Signed,
Every Internet Ranter Ever

 

[jasper]

Dear game con organizer, "Could get a GM who can speak above whisper?"
Dear game con organizer, "Hello Time check. Where are you? Don't you own a watch?"
Dear game con organizer, " How come you don't have a pregen prepared of my special build!"
Dear game con organizer, "Can you just not employ Jasper, He ain't funny."
Dear game con organizer, "WTF. Why did you sit me next to this Censored and replace with 'Nice Person', "

 

[Longspeak]

Dear game con organizer, "Could get a GM who can speak above whisper?"
Dear game con organizer, "Hello Time check. Where are you? Don't you own a watch?"
Dear game con organizer, " How come you don't have a pregen prepared of my special build!"
Dear game con organizer, "Can you just not employ Jasper, He ain't funny."
Dear game con organizer, "WTF. Why did you sit me next to this Censored and replace with 'Nice Person', "

As a past game con organizer, I would like to respond with our mantra:
Dear Game Con Attendee: "You think you can do better? Prove it. No, really. Come prove it. Please. Please come prove it. PLEASE! No-one wants to help run these things and we're all just overworked volunteers desperate for any help at all please come prove it!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE!!!!!"