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The Worst and/or Best Player You've Ever Known

I've been pretty lucky that even the worst players I've had at my table don't come close to some of the horror stories I've heard here (and certainly none of them ever killed another player).

As far as great players go, the rumors are true: Try to get Piratecat in your game if you can. The thing is that he brings such enthusiasm to whatever game he's playing that it actually makes all the other players better. It's pretty awesome to watch.
 

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best and worsts

I've been blessed with many best players. One group was a laugh a minute but completely in game:

One guy convinced an npc that "Tar-chez" was Elvish for brave. (It's actually "target" with a french accent.) He got another character elected to the village council with a write-in campaign. His character and the lazy CN cleric got loaded and wrecked the village docks backing the ship out of port. (They were the only ones with profession: sailor.)

Another one, in their first game, played a CHA 4 half-orc beast master barbarian who: lost a fight with a bee hive, closed their eyes to ward off a magic missile, had a pack of hyenas as their companions that would attempt to assert dominance when their master was wounded, and who forgot the name of the BBEG when questioned by the cops, leading to said villain's release. That person also designed the party's minion application. The first two questions: "Are you evil?" and "Are you lying?"

One played a halfling monk who: got elected against his will to the village council, developed a crush on the human paladin, charged a kobold pirate ship only to go down in a hail of bolts, and had himself strapped to a ballista bolt and shot into the sails of another closing pirate ship.

There's the CN cleric who's character goal was to find out who his god was. In one session, he completed a dream quest which required taking an exam in character. In another, he successfully intimidated a juvenile dragon by hinting that he knew what naughty things the budding dragon did when alone.

And then there's the party paladin herself, who put up with all of them and dealt with the over-bearing nurturing of her commoner NPC mother, helping me to make it the only believable female I've ever role-played. Incidentally, she'd played a kender the previous campaign she was in.
 


Ok here we go.

First, I have to say that I've just stopped laughing my ass off, some of your stories were great, and like most of you, as DM that's DM'd most of the games that I've played, and just finished a game that ran 3yrs with players going from 1st to some in the mid 20's, I know alot more bad, worst, and horrible players than good ones. So, lets start with the bad ones first.

Worst (The number is not worst of the worst in order, but the starting list to the end of it):

1st, a monk who during the length of the game mainly said "I hit it" even when he was epick level and able to do NEO-esk moves, he said "I hit it." He also tried to take himself on some inner quest between good and evil and the players got sick of it. He really just wanted to play a ninja, that was like Goku from Dragon Ball or any number of other martial arts movies, comicbooks, or anime that he'd every seen since thats what he really wished he could be. Remember, "I hit it." One time, in another game where he was also playing the martial artist, did he say "Chose" he was holding a cup of poision, or his sword. *He'd just seen that in a GI JOE comic book where Stormshadow had done that.*

2nd, a player who always played his character as if he were a budy builder, he their bodies were always perfect. Yes, he was a MINMAXER, every character he made was loaded down with all the best stats needed to wrestle a bull to the ground. This was also the charcter who argued with me, after a Gray RENDER had de-fleshed his leg, that he was able to stand and fight, that barbarians were able to do that. I had to stepp in and put a No on that one. Oh, also when playing a barbarian, he also had to maintain an INTEL that rivaled the wizard or other smart players because he had issues playing people who wern't schooled, even though I explained to him that barbarians weren't stupid, they just weren't learned. THERE's a difference. He was finally killed, not by me, but another player who was playing a cleric. The story went that the barbarian had gotten infected by one of the creatures that transimited a virus, through its claws. He'd killed it, but the group had alot of experience with this thing, and the virus had turned into a plauge in other parts of the world, so the cleric wouldnt allow him to enter, and once he chose to dissobey the cleric, *the leader in this case* he got struck down. They were trying to keep the city free of this, and he was brining it in under the statment "I'm a hero, ive over came it...I'm not a carrier." Yea, the cleric didnt trust that, or even think that, and smoked him in his loincloth.

3rd, wow, here we go, this player might have actuall been the worst, and he is a good frined of mine even after all the crap he pulled. He's thrown a sheet at me, yelled at rules, or that he was tricked, or that he shouldn't be punished for going against forces, namily powerful NPCs which the players knew would come after him, and kill him and the party if he tried to duble cross them. WHich, they did.He also, while fighting a Dragon, well, the party was sinc they'd been telling me for a week that they were up to taking down a elder worm, I showed them, and at the end, it was unconcious, the city was gone, and most of them were either dying, or out of action for atleast a few months. Ok, so back to when he was face to face with it, he actully called it out to eat him....which it did. This wizard he was playing also had to have the backdrop story line that he was asmodeus, before asmodeus, and that he didn't know this while in his mortal body, but should come to know it during it.
Qute the paladin and the clerics in the group "if we find out that he was the first king of hell, we're killin him." Oh yea, and to top things off...he ony knew attack spells, the players were always asking him to learn spells that could help the group in other ways, but he chose not to and bitched when situations came up that he was useless in.

4th, now thinking about it, he could rivale 3rd. He was a DM in one of the first games I played in. In it, he threw a hissy-fit and slamed his hands on the table: this was in a store in the mall, where he worked at *it was a gaming store* the kids which were there, I was the oldest, left fearing that he would hurt them. Later, when he joined my group, he had issues with the other players, trying to be smarter than them, out think them, out do them. He was a backstaber, trying to always con out my NPCs, and some times he did..but for those of you how know the Underdark, you will know ...the ARch Mage called Borhum...brother to the Queen, or highest cleric of the spider queen. through the story, Borhum asked this player to do a job, the player double crosed him, and when Borhum reached him..put a world of hurt on him and was only saved by the cleric of the group that's been previously mentioned. Oh, and yes, this player was scary, aslways talking about what he'd like to do since he was becoming a cop, he also argued about rules, and picked on other players.


Now saying that, I feel that I should say something good. Best player:

Yes, the cleric from that game. But what made him the best was from a pervious game from the WOD, the Vampire game....he was a tremer, and used the Splinter servent spell in a way neve seen before. THer were no size limits on the spell...and when the Dm confirmed this..we set out to make a TREE into the splinter servent, this was in a dark ages game, I was also playing a tremer, had learned how to make blackpowder....so, attatching two kegs of blackpowder to this huge sized splinter servant, wet set out to make the bigest blood seaking Vampire Missle ever done. We set it lose on one of the local Tzemeche's Vozeds....the huge beast made of many undead, the Tzemeshe was using it to threathen the local area into submission, yeah...we smoked it in a firey flying pointy death that blew up the Tzemesh's holding cell for the crature, and toppling the tower, killed the Tzemeshe.

It was awesome.

This player, was also very intersting, and dark...everyone he played was never perfect or the most powerful. They were real. He played charcters with low stats and built them from there without any complaints.HIs rping is what made him so good, and the fact that he thought about things, and excepted when he was cut down if it was right, and he gave props to me when I sent a foe upon the group that was nasty and clever...like the Xill, the ant creature..yeah I turned it into a blackguard fighter, dualist....with four swords, each with the Speed magic ability that allowed other attacks on top of the fact that it already had all the mulitarm fighting feats becasue of its race. It was so awesome, at the end of that battle, only that cleric and one other player were alive....though in bad shape. This player also set out on the most dangerous mission for the group because he thought it was what his character would do, no mattter if he died or not. He didn't minmax, but never yelled at others who were doing it, letting me take care of it. He was also quick to stick up for the rules, like "all the flesh as been ripped from your leg...I dont care how tough you are...your down." SOrry, I rolled 2nat 20's....critting to the leg..with the strenght of the gray render...this player stuckup for me more than anyother player when this event happened. ANd yes, he was out to get me, but in a good way...he always tired to make it so that I had to keep on my toes because he had plans of hisown for the NPCs, and the players. He worked for party strength eventhough sometims they faught against him.

alright, thats enough, you get the point.
 

Bad Paper said:
I think they're all good, including the DM. The DM plays in my campaign, which tends to be a bunch of wet blankets, and maybe that's my fault. I am certainly not on my best-player list.

awww... bad paper says that I'm a good DM :o

Just for that, his character will be the last to die in the upcoming TPK.

I second his statement that the lesbian barbarian is the worst I've known. I'm glad that she was thoroughly devoured by a chimera.

Bad Paper is probably the best player, because he knows spoilers from the module and completely ignores them whilst playing his character.
 

Worst: The idiot that showed up to his one (and only) D&D session wearing ninja tabi boots, took so long to get his equipment list just right that he didn't actually get to play, and then hit his girlfriend (a friend of ours) in front of us! A total waste of food, water, oxygen and time, that one.

Best: Me. :)
 

Is it possible for the worst & best player be the same guy?

Out of all the people I've played with, he was the funnest to DM when it came to actually playing the game. He roleplayed, he was creative, he was great at moving the adventure along, & he was a fun guy to play with when it came to character interaction. It was so nice to DM him because I barely had to nudge the group forward...he just always had good ideas to get the group moving forward in the adventure.

But he was a pain in the butt also. When he joined the group, he said he wasn't a rules lawyer, but yet he argued every little thing. Not just rules (he would argue rules), but weird stuff. We spent 40 minutes once arguing about whether or not the NPC woman he was trying to flirt with was "good looking enough". It didn't matter to him that I eventually said she was the best looking woman in the bar just to move on with the game. It didn't matter that I said she was a bombshell. He wanted me to tell him her Charisma score without telling him her Charisma score. When I would tell him, "If you're trying to find out her Charisma score, I can't tell you that. But she's really attractive". His response would be, "You don't have to tell me her Charisma score, but I want to make sure she's over an 18 score rather than a 16-17 score". :confused:

Mainly, he over alalyzed everything and nitpicked the small stuff. That was one example out of many weird/lame things he argued about.

He also kept making interesting characters that were completely useless...then get frustrated when he's not being affective in every single encounter. Other players asked him to create a new PC because he was such a crutch. It's hard for a group to survive when all their resources & actions go towards making sure he doesn't die. His new PC was as interesting, and as useless as the old one.

He also complained when he didn't get his way. He joined my campaign knowing I only DM a certain setting that was an ongoing campaign of 2 years. He really wanted to play a totally different setting using D20 rules I wasn't familiar with. Since he couldn't convince me to DM that for him, he kept finding reasons why he wasn't enjoying my original campaign & setting. He eventually left the group after a year.
 

Best: No one single person.
I've played with a large variety of people, but no one person has dominated my mind as the one singular best player amongst them all.

Worst: Tommy a.k.a. Nergle or Nergul or whatever...
The guy was over 400 pounds, rarely bathed. If he did bathe, he wore unwashed clothes. His reek was so bad that you could tell when he was around without sight or sound.

Dumb as a rock too. His PC's died over and over, night after night. It got to the point where the DM's would just let him bring in the identical PC over and over again with a different name. He would say org when he saw the word ogre.
His record of PC deaths - 8 in one night.

In another campaign we were in Ravenloft with some lich-king on patrol, who found us. This dipstick was found by the lich. His response was to scream, really, really loud under the pretense that he was "in character". My first urge was to grab my pencil and find a spot for it in his eye (but I'm feeing much better now).
 



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