They'd revoke my D&D gamer license if they knew....

[Kunimatyu]

I always found Beholders to be about as exciting and stylish to fight as you might expect of a magical vending machine gone bad.

"Oooh, is it going to be M&Ms or Disintegrate? Be still my beating heart." <yawn>

Much to my chagrin, I've found this to be the case. It's a monster designed with oldskool tournament-ish dungeoncrawl sensibilities, and my games don't really resemble that at all. Gauths are still okay in my book.

What would revoke my license? Let's see...

I loathe elves, and often consider those who play them to be suffering from low self-esteem/gender identity issues. Don't get me started on drow.

I think the Forgotten Realms was only created to get Ed Greenwood laid. I think I'd enjoy a setting created by a monkey with a typewriter more -- at least there would be some creativity involved.

Halfings and gnomes suck, unless they're riding dinosaurs or part of a shady coalition claiming to work for the greater good.

Vancian magic is lousy, and D&D needs a magic point system for 4E. Period.

I want 4E in 2008, and I doubt I'd complain if it was out by 2007.

How's that?