Time for Ceramic DM? (judge-free commentary thread NO JUDGES ALLOWED AS OF NOW :) )
- Thread starter alsih2o
- Start date
Sialia
First Post
Macbeth--I can't vouch for the accuracy of the following website--it's clearly produced by some poeple with a particular political agenda--but it seems roughly plausible enough for the "general jist" of what would happen if someone planned the destruction of dams that would affect Las Vegas. From glancing at this, I'm not sure whether Vegas itself would be in the flood path--but a lot of nearby areas would be at least.
http://www.thinkandask.com/news/hooverdam.html
San Franciso is not in the direct path of any major flooding, far as I can tell. Too hilly, and no really big reservoirs nearby. (SF has enough other stuff to worry about, eh?)
And yes, I did have my husband to look over my entries, and it never crossed my mind that this would be a problem for anyone. We always read through each other's academic and profesional writing, and there's never been any question of academic or professional integrity.
The work is the author's. The reader just helps the author see it clearly. It is then up to the author to deicde what to do about what the reader helped him or her see.
http://www.thinkandask.com/news/hooverdam.html
San Franciso is not in the direct path of any major flooding, far as I can tell. Too hilly, and no really big reservoirs nearby. (SF has enough other stuff to worry about, eh?)
And yes, I did have my husband to look over my entries, and it never crossed my mind that this would be a problem for anyone. We always read through each other's academic and profesional writing, and there's never been any question of academic or professional integrity.
The work is the author's. The reader just helps the author see it clearly. It is then up to the author to deicde what to do about what the reader helped him or her see.
Late commentary:
MacBeth
I liked it as it stands, without an ending line. I dunno. I'm weird. The idea of hitting a damn to get a truly epic flood would have been much cooler. I totally agree with the judges on this one. I loved the use of masks [though the timeline was off as mythago said] and I loved the use of hands. However, I felt both the Lizard pic & the phone booth pics were afterthoughts. They were things that just happened to stand out to the narrator, and only because (IMO) you had to work them into the story. I loved the use of the repetitive "blah & blah in Las Vegas" but felt you could have kept the tempo if you'd used San Francisco [where they nominally lived] instead of Las Vegas.
Btw: The man-ape reference about a piece of art. Was that an incredibly subtle jibe at Morpheus, as that is his tag line? Or just random coincidence?
Morpheus
I loved that you set this in a specific gaming world. Good on you for staying true the birthplace and the boards. I'm with several people on the mish-mash of styles. It really jarred me with the flipping back and forth. I wanted to hear West describe what happened, in his own words. Though, the fact that he was supposed to be wheezing & stuttering & talking through a burn didn't come across and I think that is unfortunate. You could make this work in report form by having the transcript with indents and NOTES from the interviewing Colonel. Decent use of hands & masks, but I think you could have really extrapolated on those. For Masks, have West remember stuff as we go through. Maybe have him see more than one of them in the boxes? And, as for hands, show that ALL of the boxes were filled with rotting corpses. Major gross-out factor. And the throw-away use of Phone Booth & Lizards was just that: Throw-away. I've been dinged on throw-away use before and it is a real bear. I would really like to know how West got out, or if they are studying him because the Bloated Woman got into him. I would say that this is a great intro to a campaign/scenario for some PCs, with some tweaks.
Both great stories and I hope that Morpheus competes again!
Zhaneel
MacBeth
I liked it as it stands, without an ending line. I dunno. I'm weird. The idea of hitting a damn to get a truly epic flood would have been much cooler. I totally agree with the judges on this one. I loved the use of masks [though the timeline was off as mythago said] and I loved the use of hands. However, I felt both the Lizard pic & the phone booth pics were afterthoughts. They were things that just happened to stand out to the narrator, and only because (IMO) you had to work them into the story. I loved the use of the repetitive "blah & blah in Las Vegas" but felt you could have kept the tempo if you'd used San Francisco [where they nominally lived] instead of Las Vegas.
Btw: The man-ape reference about a piece of art. Was that an incredibly subtle jibe at Morpheus, as that is his tag line? Or just random coincidence?
Morpheus
I loved that you set this in a specific gaming world. Good on you for staying true the birthplace and the boards. I'm with several people on the mish-mash of styles. It really jarred me with the flipping back and forth. I wanted to hear West describe what happened, in his own words. Though, the fact that he was supposed to be wheezing & stuttering & talking through a burn didn't come across and I think that is unfortunate. You could make this work in report form by having the transcript with indents and NOTES from the interviewing Colonel. Decent use of hands & masks, but I think you could have really extrapolated on those. For Masks, have West remember stuff as we go through. Maybe have him see more than one of them in the boxes? And, as for hands, show that ALL of the boxes were filled with rotting corpses. Major gross-out factor. And the throw-away use of Phone Booth & Lizards was just that: Throw-away. I've been dinged on throw-away use before and it is a real bear. I would really like to know how West got out, or if they are studying him because the Bloated Woman got into him. I would say that this is a great intro to a campaign/scenario for some PCs, with some tweaks.
Both great stories and I hope that Morpheus competes again!
Zhaneel
BSF
Explorer
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