To Deck the Halls or not

[Scorpionfolke]

This christmas finds me a divorced man living in AL w/my six year old daughter in the Virgin Islands...Not surprisingly my christmas spirit feels like its losimg a bit of life every day.

Now I've only had a few christmases in the past where I did not decorate----I really expect this year that old artificial tree is gonna stay in the closet, though there is a small part of me that fights the somber darkness of melancholy & wants to decorate my now bachelor pad....but whats the point....this downer brought to u from someone who needs to vent cause hes tired of welling up when those dang x-mas comercials w/kids on 'em that are acompanied by a slightly mournful charstmasy tune

 

[Crothian]

I decorate every year. I'm alone, my decerations are rather pathetic, and let's face it few people will ever see them. But I find decorateing helps me feel a bit more happy in this season. I hate being depressed around Christmas, it sucks. So, I do what I can to not be depressed. Decorating for me helps.

 

[Scorpionfolke]

I decorate every year. I'm alone, my decerations are rather pathetic, and let's face it few people will ever see them. But I find decorateing helps me feel a bit more happy in this season. I hate being depressed around Christmas, it sucks. So, I do what I can to not be depressed. Decorating for me helps.

ya, some therapy would help ---well, I've missed out on halloween the last seven years, maybe I could combine my 2 favorite holidays & have a hallow christmas/christmasween

 

[Warrior Poet]

Decorate. I don't decorate, but then that's not what I associate with the holidays. However, given what you've said, I'd say decorate. Nothing big. Nothing too fancy. Doesn't even have to be what you've done in the past, in case that has painful associations.

Then, once you've decorated modestly, but nicely, invite some people to a holiday party at your place. Fill your space with some other nice people. Doesn't have to be close family. Friends and coworkers can be very nice. Have simple but nice hors d'oeuvres, and a nice selection of beer, wine, and non-alcoholic drinks (hot apple cider, with or without booze, is very mmmmmmm).

At the party, talk to the other people about their lives, finding interesting things out about them. Learn a new fact about something absolutely fascinating to you, and discuss it with others. At the end of the evening, thank everyone for coming, and wish them a happy holidays, whatever it is they may celebrate.

Then, if you like, you can take the decorations down. But at least they were up for a little bit, served a nice purpose, and got your mind to focus on some other things. You will have done something nice for others, which is a wonderful thing, holidays or no. It won't have healed the wounds of your divorce, but it will have been a tiny step down the road of continuing to live your life, which is where it eventually goes, and what helps heal the wounds of divorce.

Sorry about your situation, and I wish you the best. Happy decorating, happy holidays, to you and your daughter.

Warrior Poet

 

[elforcelf]

For your litle girl you should.

 

[Jdvn1]

But at least they were up for a little bit, served a nice purpose, and got your mind to focus on some other things. You will have done something nice for others, which is a wonderful thing, holidays or no.

I think this is a nice idea.

Sorry about your situation, and I wish you the best. Happy decorating, happy holidays, to you and your daughter.

Ditto! I hope you find something(s) to be cheerful about. Try to make the best of what you do have? I don't know, there sometimes seems to be few things that can 'help' but life is made up of little things.

 

[Wombat]

Sounds like Christmas means "tradition" on a very basic level for you.

By all means, decorate. To do so means you continue the emotional bonds that have stretched back your whole life. To do so would mean you could imagine your daughter coming through the door to ooh and aah over them. To do so means that you will remember the good times, not simply focusing on the bad.

And if a sense of melancholy comes over you while doing so, that is okay, too. It is better to feel and be alive to the feeling than to tamp everything down inside.

The year after my fiancee left me, I thought I wouldn't put up any decorations. Some friends convinced me to do so anyway. I was glad I did. It wasn't a "together thing" that year, but it least I could take out the old decorations, remember when and where I had gotten them, other trees and walls I have placed them on, and rekindle a bit of my interior.

Go ahead. Decorate.

 

[PowerWordDumb]

Take some meds, and decorate. You'll be happier on both accounts.

 

[reveal]

Take some meds, and decorate. You'll be happier on both accounts.

Make sure you only take the red and green pills. It will help you stay in the holiday mood.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

I decorate a little, at least. The last few Christmases I was a little blue, so I didn't do much. I decided to not put up the big tree this year because I have a new kitten, and I still don't get around well enough from my accident to keep cleaning up broken ornaments.

But some stuff up... it'll give you a project to undertake and let you be creative. And despite the things going on that dampen your Christmas spirit, you'll feel better for it, I betcha!