“And now we continue with our final quarterfinal match of the CR 7 edition of the Tournament of Champions! This match features the best of the Lawful Good forces against the best of the Chaotic Evil forces.”
Making her way into the northwestern portion of the arena, this combatant stands 7 feet tall, is 31 feet long from tip to tail, and weighs 2500 pounds. She has an impressive record of three wins, one loss, and zero draws in the main battle, losing against Neutral‘s embrac illithidae (gesundheit). She hails from the Seven Heavens of Celestia, and apologizes for being in the arena at all, but she is the only Lawful Good corporeal combatant. Representing the forces of Lawful Good, please welcome the very young radiant dragon Goldie Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnn!”
Goldie Hawn flies proudly into the arena. She seems to shine with a heavenly glow, with perfectly shaped scales that glisten like molten white gold.
“Now making its way into the southeastern portion of the arena, this combatant measures 6 foot 6 inches tall and weighs 150 pounds. It is undefeated with a record of zero wins, zero losses, and one draw in the main battle. It managed a draw against Neutral’s vaunted megapede. Hailing from the Abyss and representing the forces of Chaotic Evil, please welcome the arrow demon Bo!”
The wild cheers of the Chaotic Evil faction welcome the lean and wiry Bo as he enters. He is completely hairless, and his moist, gray skin is sickening and leathery. He has four arms, with each left arm holding a long composite bow. His right arms notch an arrow too big for his wiry frame. His long legs end in four-jointed toes, and he grips the ground as he walks.
Psybo communicates telepathically to the combatants. “Bo, you will go first. Goldie, you choose the starting positions.”
“Let’s get ready to rummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbull!”