Top 20 Things Not to Say to a Dragon

[Hypersmurf]

"You don't mind if I go through your horde, do you?" -- Chris Walbroel

"Nice horde...wouldn't want anything to happen to it."

Oh.

Took me a while to figure these ones out.

It's "hoard", people. A "horde" is a large mob of minions, or something similar. A "hoard" is collected treasure.

-Hyp.

 

[Tsyr]

Dragons can be fun... or not, at times.

Tsyr, My "oldest and greatest"(TM) character *points to his Avatar* had a really, really bad encounter with a dragon. The dragon tried to eat him. Tsyr managed to keep from being ate, but at the cost of his right arm from the shoulder down. The dragon still got Tsyr in his mouth, though... So Tsyr took his sword and stabbed it upward blindly. Scratch one dragon.

About two years later, after Tsyr had managed to gain an elven enchanted mechanical replacement arm, we encountered the dragon's mate... a white dragon (The other was black, strangely...). Said mate had spent the last two years of her life tracking us down for revenge.

Dragon swooped down and "introduced" herself while behind a magic barrier. She pointed at my character and laughed, saying something about how at least her mate had gotten some measure of revenge before his death.

To which Tysr calmly replied:

"Oh, I don't know... I think he would actualy be quite upset with you right now... See this dagger? *I hold up a dagger I had fashioned from one of her mates teeth* Well... After I healed up, I sorta... had his soul bound to the dagger. (I hadn't, just BSing)... We've become quite good friends, as a matter of fact, after a fashion... two years of unrelenting agony will managed to persuade most anyone of anything... espesualy a weak willed dragon such as him. Right now he's convinced you betrayed him, and sees me as his savior. I can change that, of course, if you like... just give me a few days, I've mastered the art of torturing him quite well."

To this day I don't know where that garbage came from, I was just making it up as I go.

Needless to say, that didn't go over very well with her.

We defeated her fairly easily, though.

Tsyr then took some of the small, soft scales near her claw, as well as small shards of the claw, and made a "skintight" dragonscale "glove" that went clear up to my right shoulder. A simple enchantment to keep it flexible, and I had a "dragonscale arm"... the white scales matched my albino skin quite well. The shards of claw were formed into fingernails.

Man I loved playing Tsyr...

 

[DMaple]

"Have you ever considered using a mouth wash?"

 

[Kesh]

"Oh what large teeth you have! I-I mean, white, sparkling teeth! I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something 'cuz that's one dazzling smile you've got there! And do I detect a hint of minty freshness?"

 

[quexly]

Always good to have a reminder why we're better off rolling dice than doing stand-up!

 

[Warrior Poet]

Along the lines of one posted by Marius Delphus above ...

I'll defer to the disgust uttered by that cartoon bastion of tempermental control, Yosemite Sam:

"Dragons is soooo stupid"

Warrior Poet

 

[William Ronald]

From a bad Taco Bell commercial which was tied in to a worse film"

"Here, lizard, lizard!"

Also a line from Men in Black:

"Eat me!!"

Also:

"I'm in charge here!"

 

[Rashak Mani]

I said this to a Behir... which is almost a Dragon.. from outside its lair:

"Come out ! With your claws up and your treasure !"


It was climbing out thru a back exit... got us by surprise...

 

[arwink]

A recent negotiating mistake that wont be made again:

"If you let us go, I'm sure we'd all be happy to donate *one* of our magic items to your horde."

Needless to say, we lost slightly more than that.

Arwink

 

[Draco Argentum]

Can I join B.A.D.D. Wolfspider?