Twas the night..

*A gift to all of those I know and adore. May your holidays be wonderful and I hope this offering, now a tradition of mine brings a smile to everyones lips.*

Sabrina
-Jibbles/Ethera/Moondyre/etc...-


'Twas the night before Yule, when all through the tavern
not a creature was stirring, not even a Davon.
The breeches were hung by the hearth with care,
in hopes that St. Jibbles soon would be there.

The elves were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of troll slayer danced in their heads.
And Siani in her veil, and I in my helm,
had just settled our bums for a long winter's drink.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutter, and tripped over Re'shak.

The moons on the breast of the new-fallen snow
gave the lustre of midday to orcs below,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature dwarf and eight tiny gnomish bears.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Jibs.
More rapid than eagles, her curses they came,
and she whistled and shouted "Bugums" and called them by name:

"Now Natalie! Now Nevine!
Now, Ka'yn and Belaros!
On, Jaco! On, Simon!
On, Arkanious and Baalodias!
To the top of the hut!
To the top of the wall!
Now spell away! Spell away!
Spell away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild chant fly,
when they meet with an minotaur, mount to the sky
so up to the tavern-top the courses they flew,
with the sleigh full of potions, and St. Jibbles too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
the dancing and smooching of each little bear.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
down the chimney St. Jibbles came with a bound.

She was dressed all in fur, from her head to her foot,
and her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of enchanted items she had flung on her back,
and she looked like Lord Jay just opening her pack.

Her eyes--how they twinkled! Her dimples, how merry!
Her cheeks wer like roses, her nose like a cherry!
Her dwarven little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the beard on her chin was as white as the snow.
The handle of a mug she held tight in herteeth,
and the smoke it encircled her head like a wreath.
She had a broad face and a little round belly,
that shook when she laughed, like a bowl full of Thanriyons jelly.

She was chubby and plump, a right jolly old dwarf,
and I laughed when I saw her, in spite of myself.
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head
soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
and filled all the breeches, then turned with a jerk.
And laying her finger aside of her nose,
and giving a nod, up the hearth she rose.

She sprang to her sleigh, to her team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the drow sitting on a thistle.
But I heard her exclaim, 'ere she drove out of sight,


"Happy Yule to all, and to all a good bugums night!"
 

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'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even the... cockroaches.

When through the night sky, with a whoop and a holler,
Came a chap in a sleigh, like a fat Luke Skywalker!

Down, down through the chimney came the man with the loot,
But upon reaching bottom, cried he:

"Don't shoot!"
 

Alrighty then, this one's for The Clearing

T'was the night before Yule and all through the clearing,
not a blade was found ringing and no spellbattle searing.
Left over corpses were buried in the ground with care,
in hopes they wouldn't spoil the next morning's air.

The drow were tranced deeply, smug in their heads.
Visions had them killing their rivals in their beds.
Vampires in their coffins and dragons in their lairs,
had just settled in with new crossbred love affairs.

Then out in the wood there arose such a clatter,
many came to the clearing to take part in the matter.
Through tavern windows, bodies flew with a flash,
many creatures torn open and trampled in the dash.

Mobs of heroes and villans fought in the new fallen snow,
dancing around each other with awesome powers to show.
When, how to my wondering eyes could they all disappear,
swords slashing from behind as they instantly reappear?

With the old hot tempers flaring, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, I was going to be sick.
More rapid than a thought, they put themselves to shame,
as I withheld shouting "Munchkins!" and calling them by name.

*holds tounge*

As dry leaves that before the wild chant fly,
their one-liners were drier still, as they all leapt into the sky.
Far over the canopy-top shouting curses they flew,
waving their uber swords, barking with little else to do.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard through the canopy,
a comment out of character, made just to make fun of me.
As I threw back my head and was turning around,
I laughed at the comment, filled with bigotry so profound.

All around were dressed in their finest from head to foot,
tarnished not with a trace of blood, ashes or soot.
Bundles of magic items waited in every holding sack.
Each sword was 'the' best and turned every spell back.

Their eyes--how they flamed! So stupid, it was scarry!
Their cheeks like roses, battle-grazed just barely!
Their little mouths were drawn up into perpetual sneers,
and spoke words with no purpose but to sling jeers.
The same dead horse was held tight in their teeth,
and they tugged and pulled at it as I sighed in grief.
As onlookers kept flat faces and the chuckles steady,
children threw tantrums with more swords at the ready.

Most were part-dragon, werebeasts, vampiric, or dark elven,
and in spite of myself, I laughed (again) when I saw them.
A search of the board, a brief glance at a new thread,
reminded me further of the old clichès that I dread.

They spoke not a word, I would suffer myself to speak,
and I found myself rise above this lesser breed of geek.
Saluting with single fingers, they threw all dignity aside,
and led me into fits of knowing laughter, deep inside.

Then all left to go thier own way, still aloof and smug,
to suffer in their reality, without the ISRP drug.
But I heard one exclaim, 'ere he logged off the site,

"Happy Yule to y'all, and I'll beat you again tommorrow night!"

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

*sighs to subdue his laughter*
Man, what can I say? The trends are classic.
 

Thanks Ethera! :)

**Hugs** That certainly just brightened my holiday further. Merry Christmas!
 

Thank you Jaya it means alot coming from you. Look out next year when someone new will don the santa hat in the tale!!

I've done this the past few years now (two or three I can't recall) so I look forward knowing Christmas is coming for my sons and I get to come up with a loopy version of Twas the night for all my Wizard friends!

Merry Christmas everyone!
*dashes back to serve desert to the family after taking a well deserved break for a few*
 


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