Kae'Yoss
First Post
(What's going on here? In the past, and in another place, I occasionally made parodies of D&D Miniatures previews with snarky comments about the figures - nothing hostile, all in good fun. I'll try it out here and see how well it is received before deciding whether to continue or let it rest for good. Thanks for your attention.)
The original preview 9
Last week, we showed you that obsession with swords can become real unhealthy (the secret reason why wise clerics stick to morning stars), and this week I'm going to show you what a weird place Eberron really is, with these 3 figures:
Tsucora Quori
Whoa! Not something you want to meet in a dark alley. Or anywhere else. This monstrousity, which appears to be some kind of oversized monster shrimp with a couple of robot pincers welded to it (as if the rest wasn't horrible enough), are actually the hidden force behind the Riedrans' throne - which is understandable: With looks like these, I wouldn't want to rule openly, either. Most people would run away screaming, except adventurers, who would charge me with bottles of cocktail sauce! Their horrible looks made those critters so shy that they can't even get here, they have to possess pedigree mortals bred for hosting them (which is a great deal for them, because they get all the power and none of the ugly)
In the Skirmish game, it has all sorts of psionic gimmicks. Psionic powers, abilities that help psionics, abilities that convince other psionic characters to join evil (probably with the unholy enticement of an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet!)
Inspired Shock Trooper
Inspired are those mortals that get ridden by theTusca Zucre Shrimp Monsters. The really pretty ones become lieutenants (from an early set). The rest (like this one, who didn't quite make the cut) get glowing swords and mind powers and get sent against their enemies. (Where did I hear that before? Dunno, 'sith on the tip of my tongue! Shouldn't that "crystal weapon" be red?)
For those of you who play skirmish, you'll like how not being deemed cute enough to lead has filled those shock troopers with a lot of vitriol, which they use offensively. After that, they have some uses ofForce Speed burst and dissipating touch.
Blood of Vol Divinity Seeker
The Blood of Vol cult seems to attract that kind of person to which all meanings of the word "sanguine" are inseparably linked. These guys are a real danger - to others and to themselves. They may call what they're wielding chain-and-dagger, but they haven't fooled me. We all know what weapon it is, and where they got it from!
The skirmish game is enriched by these fearless freaks (they don't fear anything - they can do worse to themselves, and regularly do so) who are at their best if they can start right next to you, with some walking corpse giving them pointers on how to draw even more blood!
About the Author
Kae'Yoss wrote several very good guidebooks, none of which seemed to sell too well for a reason. His best-known works include "'What gender are you?' and other pick-up lines guaranteed to work on dwarf chicks", "Black Mage's guide to empathy and goodwill towards your environment", and "How to taunt and insult your DM and get away with it"
The original preview 9
Last week, we showed you that obsession with swords can become real unhealthy (the secret reason why wise clerics stick to morning stars), and this week I'm going to show you what a weird place Eberron really is, with these 3 figures:
Tsucora Quori
Whoa! Not something you want to meet in a dark alley. Or anywhere else. This monstrousity, which appears to be some kind of oversized monster shrimp with a couple of robot pincers welded to it (as if the rest wasn't horrible enough), are actually the hidden force behind the Riedrans' throne - which is understandable: With looks like these, I wouldn't want to rule openly, either. Most people would run away screaming, except adventurers, who would charge me with bottles of cocktail sauce! Their horrible looks made those critters so shy that they can't even get here, they have to possess pedigree mortals bred for hosting them (which is a great deal for them, because they get all the power and none of the ugly)
In the Skirmish game, it has all sorts of psionic gimmicks. Psionic powers, abilities that help psionics, abilities that convince other psionic characters to join evil (probably with the unholy enticement of an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet!)
Inspired Shock Trooper
Inspired are those mortals that get ridden by the
For those of you who play skirmish, you'll like how not being deemed cute enough to lead has filled those shock troopers with a lot of vitriol, which they use offensively. After that, they have some uses of
Blood of Vol Divinity Seeker
The Blood of Vol cult seems to attract that kind of person to which all meanings of the word "sanguine" are inseparably linked. These guys are a real danger - to others and to themselves. They may call what they're wielding chain-and-dagger, but they haven't fooled me. We all know what weapon it is, and where they got it from!
The skirmish game is enriched by these fearless freaks (they don't fear anything - they can do worse to themselves, and regularly do so) who are at their best if they can start right next to you, with some walking corpse giving them pointers on how to draw even more blood!
About the Author
Kae'Yoss wrote several very good guidebooks, none of which seemed to sell too well for a reason. His best-known works include "'What gender are you?' and other pick-up lines guaranteed to work on dwarf chicks", "Black Mage's guide to empathy and goodwill towards your environment", and "How to taunt and insult your DM and get away with it"
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