Hi, A.M.G. (Love Pratchett, btw):
Very difficult situation in which you've found yourself there. I never found myself quite as helpless, but I have had my heart completely shattered by women/girls a time or two.
I always seemed to find myself scrambling to pick up the pieces, just as you're doing, but eventually, I came to realize that I was only prolonging the inevitable. Even if you do manage to get things back into semi-working order, you'll be starting out with a heavy strain on your relationship, which can make things extremely difficult. You can hope that something like this won't happen again, but there will always be that shadow of doubt settled in the bottom of your belly.
Of course, the situation would be entirely different, as you'd actually be a physical presence in her life, which can have a dramatic impact on immediate feelings and desires. In her defense, it's very hard to maintain a long-distance relationship, and at your age, that kind of commitment across a rift of several thousand miles can't really be considered entirely binding for either party. The fact that she slept with this other guy doesn't really convince me that this girl is necessarily a lost cause, although it is certainly disappointing. Women have physical and emotional desires as well, and the need for human contact is a universal motivator which often overrides distant previous commitments temporarily.
I would say that the time and energy you've put into this relationship thus far would merit at least one more shot, whether as adults on your own, or as dependants under the care of someone else. She may very well rediscover her attraction to you if given the opportunity to really experience you as a physical entity in her life on a regular basis.
I'm speaking from the perspective of a 25-year-old man who who has been married since 19 and is now the father of 3. I have had a couple of serious long-term relationships which resulted in devastating heartbreaks due to various circumstances (none of which involved infidelity). One of these resulted in my expulsion from my parents' home at the age of 18. I have also had numerous close female friends, and several flings and one-night stands.
Anyway, regardless of how your situation turns out and what you choose to do, I wish you only the best. You seem to be doing a very good job of maintaining your composure, which is very important for you to make the decision which you feel is the most responsible.
Edit: Sorry to chime in so late- should have read the last page.
