[Updated!]I think my life has decided to fall apart
- Thread starter Ankh-Morpork Guard
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Ankh-Morpork Guard
First Post
Alright, thought I'd give everyone an update since some big things have been worked out.
I'm going back to the USA in the next week or so. This isn't because of people telling me to do that here and in other places, but because its what I feel I NEED to do. I won't stay forever, in fact, I'll come back here to Wales in a few years. But I've found that I won't come back to be with people...I'll come back because I love this place. Wales is a place I CAN spend the rest of my life, and would love to...but not just yet. There's too much pain here that I need to back away from for a while, and then I can come back and truly enjoy this place for what it is.
And as before, I can't just stop thinking about her. Its not going to happen...but I'm doing my best to let go as much as I can. An old saying I used to here a lot was something along the lines of "If love it is, then set it free. If it returns, then its meant to be". Sure, that's wishful thinking, but right now hope is all I've got. Maybe I'll grow past it, I'm not sure if that would be good or bad, but I'm not leaving it out as an option.
So...for the second time this year, I'm moving back to my home town of Gainesville, Florida. I love it there just as much as I love it here in Wales. Its where my dad is. He and I had a lot of problems earlier on because of how my parent's divorce worked out, but now we're doing great...and this will give both he and I a lot of time to be closer again. Hell, he was the first person of my family I was able to tell about all of this...which surprised me.
But, again I'll say to everyone, THANK YOU ENWORLD! You have helped me so much, and though I may not agree with a lot of things said, they're good to hear. Sooo...anyone looking for a player in the Gainesville area?
I'm going back to the USA in the next week or so. This isn't because of people telling me to do that here and in other places, but because its what I feel I NEED to do. I won't stay forever, in fact, I'll come back here to Wales in a few years. But I've found that I won't come back to be with people...I'll come back because I love this place. Wales is a place I CAN spend the rest of my life, and would love to...but not just yet. There's too much pain here that I need to back away from for a while, and then I can come back and truly enjoy this place for what it is.
And as before, I can't just stop thinking about her. Its not going to happen...but I'm doing my best to let go as much as I can. An old saying I used to here a lot was something along the lines of "If love it is, then set it free. If it returns, then its meant to be". Sure, that's wishful thinking, but right now hope is all I've got. Maybe I'll grow past it, I'm not sure if that would be good or bad, but I'm not leaving it out as an option.
So...for the second time this year, I'm moving back to my home town of Gainesville, Florida. I love it there just as much as I love it here in Wales. Its where my dad is. He and I had a lot of problems earlier on because of how my parent's divorce worked out, but now we're doing great...and this will give both he and I a lot of time to be closer again. Hell, he was the first person of my family I was able to tell about all of this...which surprised me.
But, again I'll say to everyone, THANK YOU ENWORLD! You have helped me so much, and though I may not agree with a lot of things said, they're good to hear. Sooo...anyone looking for a player in the Gainesville area?
Maerdwyn
First Post
That's great to hear!
I'm glad you and your dad will have some time together, and that you were able to talk to him about all of this.
Gainesville is a bit far to commute for a game, but if you're ever in the DC/Baltimore/Philadelphia area, let me know, and we'll have a few pints.
Ian
I'm glad you and your dad will have some time together, and that you were able to talk to him about all of this.
Gainesville is a bit far to commute for a game, but if you're ever in the DC/Baltimore/Philadelphia area, let me know, and we'll have a few pints.
Ian
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nerfherder
Adventurer
I've just spotted this thread, and just want to make a couple of points.
Firstly, I'm impressed with all the advice. I found myself nodding along to most of it. I met the love of my life when I was 21 and spent the next 12 years in a blissfully happy relationship with my soul-mate. Then things went wrong (I won't go into it, but it made me realise that you can never 100% know someone) and I now find myself a single man again. All the stuff about getting away and not trying to stay friends is spot on, even though it is really tough to do at first. I had to turn my back on the person I loved for 12 years. It wasn't easy, but it was definitely the best decision for me.
Which leads to my second point, which is that I think you're doing the right thing. It is absolutely not defeat, it is moving on and taking positive control of your situation.
Good luck with everything. If you do ever make it back over to our shores, there are a lot of other lovely parts of the UK - Scotland (lots of different parts) and Northumberland to name just two.
Cheers,
Liam
Firstly, I'm impressed with all the advice. I found myself nodding along to most of it. I met the love of my life when I was 21 and spent the next 12 years in a blissfully happy relationship with my soul-mate. Then things went wrong (I won't go into it, but it made me realise that you can never 100% know someone) and I now find myself a single man again. All the stuff about getting away and not trying to stay friends is spot on, even though it is really tough to do at first. I had to turn my back on the person I loved for 12 years. It wasn't easy, but it was definitely the best decision for me.
Which leads to my second point, which is that I think you're doing the right thing. It is absolutely not defeat, it is moving on and taking positive control of your situation.
Good luck with everything. If you do ever make it back over to our shores, there are a lot of other lovely parts of the UK - Scotland (lots of different parts) and Northumberland to name just two.
Cheers,
Liam
Ankh-Morpork Guard
First Post
nerfherder said:
Oh, I'll be back to the UK. It may be years, but I'll be back. I just need to get to the USA and spend some time on my own(I can't really do that here, people[i.e. her mother] would worry too much). But when I'm ready, I'll be coming back for a longer stay. This place is really wonderful, and I ENJOY the feeling of being in the middle of no where.
...besides, people get such a kick out of hearing that an American wants to move here to WALES of all places.
nerfherder
Adventurer
Must... resist... making... sheep... joke...Ankh-Morpork Guard said:...besides, people get such a kick out of hearing that an American wants to move here to WALES of all places.
Cheers,
Liam
Pielorinho
Iron Fist of Pelor
So glad to hear it, Ankh! I think that's going to help, in the long run.
There's another saying that helped me get over a difficult relationship, although you'd kinda think it wouldn't help: A thing's not done till you can leave it be.
That doesn't mean that you ought to be working to revive the dead; it's not a call for necromancy. Instead, it's just saying that, if you find yourself worrying at it like a dog at a Kong toy, that's okay: your brain and your heart still have a lot of work left to do on this, I wager, and there's no special call for you to act otherwise.
Best of luck with everything!
Daniel
There's another saying that helped me get over a difficult relationship, although you'd kinda think it wouldn't help: A thing's not done till you can leave it be.
That doesn't mean that you ought to be working to revive the dead; it's not a call for necromancy. Instead, it's just saying that, if you find yourself worrying at it like a dog at a Kong toy, that's okay: your brain and your heart still have a lot of work left to do on this, I wager, and there's no special call for you to act otherwise.
Best of luck with everything!
Daniel
haiiro
First Post
I just found this thread, read through it all, and am very glad you're making the right decision, AMG.
I don't know you from Adam, apart from our mutual good taste in authors and your posts here on EN World (which I tend to enjoy), but there are a lot of things going on in your life that come very close to things that went on in my life when I was 18. From what I can tell, you seem like a good guy.
When you get a chance to look back on this sometime down the road, I am confident you'll be glad you left. Dead-oning right choice, no question about it.
I don't know you from Adam, apart from our mutual good taste in authors and your posts here on EN World (which I tend to enjoy), but there are a lot of things going on in your life that come very close to things that went on in my life when I was 18. From what I can tell, you seem like a good guy.
When you get a chance to look back on this sometime down the road, I am confident you'll be glad you left. Dead-on
ing right choice, no question about it.
Ankh-Morpork Guard
First Post
Hehehe.francisca said:
Oh, and go ahead making sheep jokes. I've been making them for the last 3 months so now its other people's turn! I already know this is a good choice...in fact, it looks like I'll be going back this weekend(Sunday probably) then spending a week or so in Atlanta with my mother and such...then, down to Florida and I'll figure out where to go with things from there.
Just need to find me a good d20 group of one form or another. I've DMed so long I REALLY need to start playing again...
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