URGENT!!!! How does the Nephew Differ from the Colonel!!!!

[Vraille Darkfang]

I need help.

I need to know how Lee varies from the Colonel.

To whit:

What happend when I eat Lees Famous Fried Chicken:

"That's some goo chicken."

What happens when I eat at the KFC:

"That's some good chicken."

My colon 25-45 Minutes later:

"EVERYTHING OUT!!!!! EVERYTHING OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!"

I then procede to pass gas.

As if someone is playing Flight of the Valkeries on a Tuba.

We're talking +5 Bonuses to Jump checks if I time it right.

After about 10 minutes of this, I need a toilet.

I'm pretty sure any continoues Bowel movement whose duration can be described as 1d6 rds (not the wussy 6 secs of today, I'm talking the minutes of 2nd ed).

It sound like someone has gone full auto with a machine gun.

And I'm on autofier till I'm all out of ammo.

It is niether a pretty sight, sound or smell. Nor is it particullary lacking in pain.

When I'm to the age I need the Colonoscopy; forget that littel stuff they give you. Give me a bucket of Extra Cripsy & I'll be clean as a whistle in 30 minutes.

This happens withe other foods (and other Fried Chicken Places).

But it NEVER happend with Lees & happens 100% of the time with KFC.

My wife thinks its a food allergy, but we have never been able to pin it down.

But as Fried Chicken from KFC causes Enpowered, Hasted Enlarged, Dire Fiendish Vorpal Diarehhea every single time & Lee's Fried chicken never does, we think it has to be something in the chicken.

Does anyone know the difference between Lees Famous Reciepe & the Colonel's Secret Herbs & Spices?

My colon & my wife thank you greatly.

PS. due to the Advacnes in Wireless Technology & Laptops; you may give thanks the Smells can not yet be transmitted electronically.

Now if you will forgice an spelling errors, I have some serious flushing to get back to.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I...um...laugh with you, not at you.

In all seriousness, from your description of your symptoms, it could be a food allergy to one of the spices or even the particular oil used by KFC (I don't know if it is of a different variety than the others).

(I have a couple of food allergies of my own, and have experienced similar effects.)

 

[Blackrat]

Sounds a bit like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coeliac_disease
Basically it's gluten-allergy. Gluten is a protein found in wheat and few other grains (mostly barley and rye). It's pretty rare disease in US but here in finland it's common enough for many of us to recognise the symptoms. Might be that this "Lee's" place uses non-glutenic flours. Not that bad in there either as (at least as far as I know) you don't use that much barley and rye in US either.

EDIT: Just noticed: I'm actually just assuming you're from US. Sorry if I'm wrong. These places just "sounded" american to me.

 

[Piratecat]

...yeah.

Grandma doesn't want to hear about anyone's digestive concerns in detail. While the humor helped, if you want to ask about medical concerns, next time please don't do so with the play-by-play.

Klunk.