Wile I appreciate the utility of a well played Bard, it's not a class I'm fond of, partially because they have to have audible components to their spells.
So do the spells all non-Sorcerers cast, unless you use Silent Spell metamagic.
The big issue with your entire build is really that a Lore Bard would basically be better at a lot of this. All you really have going for you is a lot of cantrips, which is nice, but...
Those shape water examples are a little unrealistic, and support the "5 times in a career" point, even though you may think otherwise. It's not a useless spell, but it really is one you're going to use very rarely. Example 7 is particularly ludicrous - if the DM allows that, the DM would surely allow you to insta-kill the same unconscious monster by stabbing it with a sword or whatever. If you actually follow the suffocating rules (PHB p.183), what would actually happen is that the creature would start choking, which means it can survive a number of rounds equal to it's CON mod (min 1), in which time it has to be able to breath again, or will drop to 0HP. So any creature which was merely unconscious is immediately going to either wake up (due to massive adrenaline surge etc. - as people do when they can't breathe), or start at the very least, rolling around, which will give it a chance to breathe. If it's so out-of-it that that can't happen, it's undoubtedly easier and faster to murder it another way. So that just doesn't really work.
I'd also ask a question:
Is this character really designed for utility, or is it designed for
spotlight-stealing?
I ask because it kind of looks like the latter. You're trying to take all the most useful cantrips and all the most show-off-y ones, you initially ignored guidance (which is THE most useful cantrip, but helps others more than you), trying to get a decent bonus to loads of skills, and trying to have all the most useful skills. You'll have a fairly high CHA and likely be the party face. And you have taken powerful and reliable combat spells instead of spells which support the rest of the party in being good at what they do.