Gon Shi bows to the two combatants and pulls out a scroll. Reading slowly he intones:
The ancient masters have decreed this match to take place at the canyon west of the Vineyard of Xian's Song on the day of the northstar.
"A very nice place the Vineyard of Xian's Song.....although I do believe they are behind on their taxes. Perhaps the winner will help me collect."
He reads some more from his scroll, mumbling under his breath, "Judge insults. There is no guideline here... just judge which insult you like better. Don't look at how the insult is used in the flavor text, just judge the insults themselves."
He nods and announces in his nasally tone, "a boring geisha and a world confined to a puny toilet is far more cutting than a sloppy sister and a worn out farm. Orlandu may go second."