D&D 5E Vicious Mockery: the Mockings

[Dannyalcatraz]

By Holly, Oak and Hickory,
The ugly stick claims a victory.

By Hickory, Oak and Holly,
Your visage is a folly.



East & West, North & South
What new idiocy spews from your mouth?

North & South, East & West
Your staying silent would suit all best.

 

[DaveDash]

I sent this thread to my Bard player, he needs some good mocks.

 

[Kikuras]

Nobody likes you. Your own mother doesn't like you. Your life is a waste.

As for things that might be used to mock an enemy, I couldn't think of any.

 

[PnPgamer]

You fight like a cow!

 

[jayoungr]

I got this book for Christmas, and I'm using it for my bard's Vicious Mockery:

http://www.amazon.com/Shakespeare-Insult-Generator-Match-Insults/dp/1452127751

Favorite so far: "Reeky, lust-breathed lewster!" Used it on a pirate. Unfortunately, he made his saving throw, so we figured he took it as a compliment.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Sun, Moon, Stars and Comets
Your stench could make an otyugh vomit!

Comets, Stars, Moon and Sun
Would you were the only one!

 

[Sailor Moon]

"By the gods you are ugly, I bet your father regrets not pulling out when he had the chance."

I wouldn't recommend using that one around kids.

 

[MarkB]

A few for use in specific circumstances:

"Call that a breath weapon? I've belched worse after a flagon of rough ale!"

"You do know the pointy end is supposed to go in the other guy, right?"

"I've heard schoolgirls with better evil laughs than that."

"Wait, so you're the manifestation of a divine being of supreme power and malevolence, and you seriously chose that face? Do they even have mirrors on your home plane?"

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

"So, you have us outnumbered and surrounded... Let me ask you then- what do you want us to put on your headstone?"*





* for some campaigns, this sentence can end ...."this time?" For other, ruder ones, it could end "...besides our (slang for male anatomy, gluteal anatomy, or some kind of scatological reference)?"

 

[Minsc]

Threads like these make me wish we didn't have a 13 year old at the table.