W.w.y.d.i.y.w.a.q-d.?

Thalantor

First Post
This topic popped into my mind when I was on one of my "Let's-butcher-game-balance"-rampages that I like to call freeform brainstorming about campaign ideas. I've also posted this one on 3ebb, but I wanted to see what gems poppe up here, so here's the dilly:

- What would you do if you were a Quasi-Deity?

Now, to understand the underlying importance of this question, you need to understand what this entails.

Meet Bob.

Bob is a - still unknown and unfamed - lvl 1 human PC with the normal array of stats normally used to generate those infamous Red-Shirt NPC's. But Bob is special. Bos also has Divine Rank 0, and thus enjoys the benefits of having DR 10/epic, Energy Resistance 5, Spell Resistance 32, Full HP on HD and is immune to polymorphing, petrification, or any other attack that alters its form. Any shape-altering powers the deity might have work normally on itself. Also he enjoys immunity to mind-affecting effects (charms, compulsions, phantasms, patterns, and morale effects) and is not subject to energy drain, ability drain, or ability damage. And, of course, Bob knows all this in detail about himself.

Now, aside from the fact that such a PC on lvl 1 is freakin' impossible and any DM allowing him should be carted off to some mental institution, let's just assume for a moment that - before the men in white coats charge in and take the mental DM away - you play this dude for a time. What would you try and do if you were this guy? What weird escapades could you try to get away with and to what extend can this situation be made even more absurd? ;)
 

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Thalantor said:
What weird escapades could you try to get away with and to what extend can this situation be made even more absurd? ;)
I'd give Orcus a wedgie, and ask Glasya out on a date.
 

I'd get myself a cult to do my farming for me, and try to find a portfolio that wouldn't get me whacked for poaching by a real God.

"Tonight, I'm the divine patron of beer!"
 

It depends. Are the gods independent of each other like normal Greyhawk/D&D? Or are they inter-related like a more traditional pantheon religion, where some gods and goddesses are fathers, sons, mothers, daugthers, sisters, brothers, etc of other gods? If the first, then probably just go on a little rampage around town being a general BBEG until some hero comes along and stopped me. If the later, go on an epic quest to meet my unknown god father or mother and do some witty things on the way like stealing my uncles relic or borrowing Death's scythe.
 

Knowing my luck the divine patron of beer would already be taken. I'd end up being the patron of wine spritzers.

Bob's powers are essentially limited to being moderately immune to just about everything. If he were good-aligned he could be a fireman or join the town watch. If he was nasty-icky he could join the local theive's guild (or are we supposed to call it rogue's guild in 3e?)
 

Think I would be a Quasi-henchman to a true Deity, that lower-middle management stuff, sure there are some risk and a lot of paperwork but it is where the action is. :D
 



Deities are given divine ranks in the 3.0 WotC book, Deities and Demigods. IIRC, they go from 0 to 21+ and you gain new abilities or strengthened abilities from the exisiting ones you are given at zero ( Thalantor posted them ! ) as your divine rank increases.
 


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