Way to get girls (?!): the new column for the new Dragon.

[hong]

One reason among many old chap.

You misspelled "many old chaps". Hope this helps!

 

[Rechan]

This type of 'writing' is, in my experience, one of the reasons why quite a lot of the rest of the world regard the average American as very lacking in education.

Really? Because I didn't see any grammatical errors. And from a writing perspective, the piece is solid - you have a beginning, one that captures the reader's attention and the beginning's message echos through the rest of the piece. The conclusion is solid.

What about it is "bad writing" or speaks of "lacking in education"?

 

[hazel monday]

You misspelled "many old chaps". Hope this helps!

No I didn't. Are you trying to make a joke here? If so, maybe you should explain it. Nothing makes a joke funnier than when you have to explain it.
(see, that's a joke right there. What I just did was makea joke about how I didn't get your joke. And this explanation just makes it even funnier. Remember kids, the key to humor is to always explain a joke after you make it. Excelsior!)

 

[EnglishScribe]

Really? Because I didn't see any grammatical errors. And from a writing perspective, the piece is solid - you have a beginning, one that captures the reader's attention and the beginning's message echos through the rest of the piece. The conclusion is solid.

What about it is "bad writing" or speaks of "lacking in education"?

Well, to start with the text is littered with contractions, is difficult to read and juvenile.

I could at least six sentence fragments, and the text contains nonsensical sentences such as:

"7 unruly, unfocused PCs ISO of Dungeon Master." - ?

In addition the text is also littered with slang.

"Be gone Kashi and snap peas!" - ?

"Your character is going to bite it," -Is this referring to food again?

"schwiiiiiiing"

“untaint”

And the article fails to take into consideration that the audience is international:

"That which does not kill you makes you brownies" - Brownies are young girl guides in the UK, so this could be considered to have a much more sinister meaning.

 

[Varianor Abroad]

I think it's about time for some of you folks to go watch Fear of Girls again. Eesh.

 

[Cadfan]

Wait, what? That's your criticism?

I... I don't know how to respond to your criticisms. If serious, your comprehension of informal writing is truly terrifying for someone who's chosen the screen name "English Scribe." For example, the sentence fragments. Those are considered acceptable in informal writing when the goal is to match the cadence and style of verbal English. You must know that. How could you not?

And certain things you've singled out make me think that you're not even posting your criticisms in good faith. You must be aware that the "7 unruly, unfocused PCs ISO of Dungeon Master." sentence is referencing the stylization and acronyms of personal ads. And you can't possibly be holding against the author slang from a direct quotation of someone else: "Your character is going to bite it." Likewise, the brownies comment. You really think that this is a problem? Really?

... are you trolling this thread? I honestly can't tell. I have different ways of responding to sincere but weird people, and to trolls. I can't tell which one to use.

 

[Wormwood]

Wait, what? That's your criticism?

Pedantic nit-picking on my internet?

 

[billd91]

And the article fails to take into consideration that the audience is international:

"That which does not kill you makes you brownies" - Brownies are young girl guides in the UK, so this could be considered to have a much more sinister meaning.

You have got to be kidding. Brownies (capitalized) are indeed a younger organization of Girl Scouts in the US as well, but brownies (lower case) are well-known, moist cakes cooked in a pan. Are you seriously complaining that the context in this case is unclear?

 

[Sammael]

I am not the original poster, but I think I can add to the comments he made...

You must be aware that the "7 unruly, unfocused PCs ISO of Dungeon Master." sentence is referencing the stylization and acronyms of personal ads.

I am non-native English speaker who lived in the US (attending high school and college) for three years between 1997 and 2000. I am currently employed as a translator (that's my second, part-time job). I had to re-read that sentence five times to figure out that "ISO" means "in search of."

I've never seen a personal ad in English in my life. It's not general knowledge.

Likewise, the brownies comment. You really think that this is a problem? Really?

The other day, I was sitting with some friends (who speak English very well) in a new coffee shop near my workplace. They had brownies on the menu and none of my friends knew what brownies are.

 

[billd91]

No I didn't. Are you trying to make a joke here? If so, maybe you should explain it. Nothing makes a joke funnier than when you have to explain it.

Hong is making a joke and it's a funny one too. If chap is spelled correctly, then you must have been intending to call EnglishScribe "old chap" and directly addressing him as such. That, however, requires a comma. Without it, the presumption is that old chap is linked to the many and that the reasons reside among many old chaps (being the leg protectors favored by cowboys).